Things you do not wish to...

An Alpha Centauri fan fiction by Shade

I say this only once before beginning. I don't own Alpha Centauri, I don't even think I want to. I intend no harm. Now that we're clear about this, let us begin...

(Author: this is a partly joint chapter. First you get Zakharov's view on the post-cryo/pre-landing days, then Deirdre's view, and then after that a joint view (thus both Deirdre's and Zakharov's) on the landing process itself. These events include the seeding, the murder of the captain, the escape from the ship and the destruction of the ship.)

5) Witness

Zakharov awoke from the soft hissing sound as the door of his cryotank opened. He saw a grinning – and aged, he realised with a shock – captain Garland stand before him.

"Just wait a bit, Prokhor, the electric stims on your muscles will send some jolts through your body to make sure your muscles are ready to be used again. But you'll have to go straight to bed once you're out."

"And D-deirdre?" The electricity was uncomfortable, but he felt refreshed as he stepped out of the tank – though a bit stiff in the joints.

"Don't worry, she's due tomorrow in the afternoon. Tell you what, I'll get the captain to give you leave to go and see her when she wakes. You can escort her to her room then – but no hanky-panky!" Zakharov smiled.

"You don't need to worry about that, John." Zakharov rolled his eyes.

"I know, I know, just teasing ya…" Both men walked in the direction of the scientist's quarters. "Okay, now have a good night's sleep and I'll see you tomorrow morning in your lab. Oh, and don't go dreaming about beautiful female scientists just yet… Look out of your porthole." Zakharov obliged, though a bit hesitant. He blinked, rubbed out his eyes slowly, and then looked back.

He hadn't been mistaken. The two stars that were close were indubitably Alpha Centauri A and B; the planet gleaming in their doubled light was Chiron, and they were approaching it. "ETA should be in a few days. Oh, and by the way…", the captain said with a smile.

"Yes?" Zakharov looked back at Garland, who was by now smiling and pointing at a small calendar that was on the wall.

"Happy ninety-fifth birthday…" With a grin, the captain closed the door behind him. Zakharov smiled faintly. 'I'm ninety-five already… Lord, how time flies! I still look fifty-five, though. Oh, don't worry, Prokhor…', he told his mirror image as he started working on taking off the uncomfortable cryosuit, 'Deirdre will still like you. Definitely.' He put on his pyjamas and lied down with a smile. Closing his eyes, he saw her in her cryosuit – she had looked more feminine than any other woman he had ever seen. Sleep came easy, bringing along dreams that he hadn't enjoyed for a long time. Dreams that he welcomed.

The next afternoon, a nervous Zakharov was standing outside of the cryotank in which Deirdre was asleep. She looked innocent and peaceful – and beautiful, Zakharov added, more beautiful than ever.

"Starting reawakening process. Starting heating of cryofluid." The computer voice droned through the cryobay. Zakharov watched the ice turn into liquid again as heating elements flashed on. "Starting fluid drain away – initiating shower." The tank drained, then filled again, this time with water. Zakharov saw her image become blurry for a while before returning to normal. This time, Deirdre looked a bit more colourful. "Initiating neurostim. Awakening process begun. REM sleep ended. Deep sleep ended. Lieutenant commander Skye, this is your wakeup call." The computer messages followed each other rapidly, and Zakharov saw it happen – he snickered at the last message, recognising it as a piece of programming done by John. Her eyelids flickered for a moment, and then she opened them: the professor felt his heart leap as he looked into her green eyes again. The lid hissed open and cryotechnicians rushed in to release her of her breather and the electrodes on her forehead.

"Do not come out yet. They need to stim your muscles: they have become atrophied during the long sleep. You have to go to sleep as soon as you're out… but you can sleep in your own bed again." He smiled: she answered his smile – it didn't even flicker as the electricity flowed through her muscles. "Welcome back, Deirdre."

"It's good to be back, Prokhor. Thanks for keeping the promise, by the way… but you shouldn't have. You're probably needed elsewhere."

"I'm not. Do you need a hand?", he asked as he saw her stumble.

"Y-yes, thanks… How are things at my lab?" She looked up at him, and he thought for a moment.

"Your lab is doing great. The puppy, however, has died about twenty years ago. He was given a burial in one of the tanks. I believe it was the one with the white pine."

"…The white pine is my favourite.", Deirdre said after a while. "And Sean, is he up already?" At this, Zakharov had to laugh. He had seen Deirdre's brother already: the boy had taken a liking to hanging around in the labs, apparently, for his assistants tolerated his presence and his undying questions – and oddly enough, he had said some truly intelligent remarks as well.

"Sean has been awakened about a year or two before. He is always around my lab, or so my assistants tell me." He snickered. "Funny, I can see him become a scientist yet… ah, here we are!" He let go of Deirdre to allow her to input her security code and watched her room. It was miraculously clean all of a sudden. Zakharov saw a look of genuine amazement cross her features.

"Who… what?"

"Sean cleaned up for you. And he has a present for you, apparently…" Zakharov walked over to the table and picked up a box.

"Oh…" Deirdre walked over to him and took the box from him. "I know what this is. He shouldn't have…" She opened it. The box contained a snow globe, with a tree in it. Under the tree stood a woman and a boy who looked like they had just let go of each other's hands.

"What does it symbolize?" Zakharov was nonplussed.

"It means that he knows what he wants.", she stated. "And combined with what you told me… he wants to be a scientist. Whose lab does he spend most time in?"

"Mine." Deirdre looked up, and Zakharov smiled. "If it's what he wants… But now, Deirdre, you have to look outside." As she made her way to her porthole, Zakharov couldn't help but notice that her green cryosuit – green for scientists – suited her very well. He smiled a devious smile as he saw her sway her hips. 'She is such a beauty…', he thought: then she gasped and Zakharov walked to her. "That, my dear Deirdre, is Chiron – our future. John said that we'd arrive in a few days."

"I look forward to it… oh, hey, the continents have an odd red tinge from here. Could that be the light?"

"I don't know… I suppose it could…" Zakharov removed the hand that he had put on her shoulder as she turned around. He actually hadn't seen the red tinge himself because he was awakened in the evening and the dual sun had not shed any light on the side of Chiron he could see.

"Well, if you don't know, neither do I. You're the optics expert. Actually, you're the expert in just about everything… Oh, I'm so tired…" She did not suppress the yawn.

"I'll leave you to sleep. Will you be allright?" He was worried.

"Yes. Thanks for the good care, Prokhor. I can't thank you enough, it means the world to me." Again, Zakharov's heart leapt.

"I don't need any thanks, Deirdre, your smile is enough…", he said softly as he walked out the door and in the direction of the labs. He felt his heart working overtime: he felt young. 'Odd how the years are not only not apparent to others, but also not apparent to me…', he mused as the doors to the labs hissed open.

Deirdre faintly heard the sound of rushing water. Then she felt a prickling sensation go through her drowsy brain. She blinked as the images in front of her flickered and faded – and then Zakharov's face came into view. 'Is this a dream? …Prokhor kept his promise…'

The lid went off with a hiss and cryotechnicians rushed to her and immediately removed the electrodes from her forehead.

"Do not come out yet. They need to stim your muscles: they have become atrophied during the long sleep. You have to go to sleep as soon as you're out… but you can sleep in your own bed again." She smiled, even as the electricity coursed through her muscles, which ached. He smiled back and approached. "Welcome back, Deirdre"

"It's good to be back, Prokhor. Thanks for keeping the promise, by the way… but you shouldn't have. You're probably needed elsewhere." She felt a bit guilty for making him promise now that she remembered that he would have duties of his own.

"I'm not. Do you need a hand?" She had stumbled a bit, but recovered fairly quickly. Her muscles still ached with every step – and here he was offering her help.

"Y-yes, thanks… How are things at my lab?" She was curious, even though she knew her assistants must've taken the utmost care of her lab. Would her Skye vines (she had named them after her family name, and added "alexandrii" as a subgenus in remembrance of her father) still be thriving? Zakharov thought for a moment, apparently.

"Your lab is doing great. The puppy, however, has died about twenty years ago. He was given a burial in one of the tanks. I believe it was the one with the white pine." Deirdre paused on that for a moment. The puppy had been cute and cuddly when she had left it, but forty years, even in a severely slowed biorhythm, was too long for a dog to survive.

"…The white pine is my favourite.", she decided finally, choosing to be glad that he had lived a long life before passing away. Then, her thoughts turned almost instinctively to her brother. "And Sean, is he up already?" As she mentioned her brother, she heard Zakharov laugh – it was the first time he had ever laughed as fully as that, and she marvelled at the warmth with which he laughed.

"Sean has been awakened about a year or two before. He is always around my lab, or so my assistants tell me." He snickered as she shook her head, not believing her ears. "Funny, I can see him become a scientist yet… ah, here we are!" Indeed, they had reached her room: Zakharov let go of her for a while to allow her to input her security code. The door slid open and Deirdre was confronted with… 'Oh my god, where's my mess of a room I left behind?'

"Who…what?", she managed to utter. She looked incredulous, or so she deducted from Zakharov's explanation.

"Sean cleaned up for you. And he has a present for you, apparently…" She watched the taller scientist walk over to a marvellously empty table and pick up a box with her name on it. Deirdre looked at the box once and knew what was in it. She had gotten a box exactly like that one from her father, with the instruction to keep it and cherish it until she knew what she was going to do with her life.

"Oh… I know what this is. He shouldn't have…", she said as she walked over to him and took the box from him: she opened it carefully and took out the snow globe that was inside. The woman and child inside it looked just like they had done in hers. It seemed so long ago that she had given her father back her own globe with the message that she wanted to become a biologist, like him – yet at that particular moment, it seemed to her to be not so distant a memory.

"What does it symbolize?" Zakharov's question and the blankness of his expression slightly amused her.

"It means that he knows what he wants.", she stated as she turned to him again, putting the snow globe down onto her desk. "And combined with what you told me… he wants to be a scientist. Whose lab does he spend most time in?"

"Mine." Deirdre saw him smile as she looked at him. "If that's what he wants… But now, Deirdre, you have to look outside." She walked over to the porthole. Feeling Zakharov's eyes upon her all the way, she felt very aware that she still had the green cryosuit on: but she also had to admit she liked the feeling of knowing that men found her attractive. She swayed her hips a bit more as she crossed the last few metres. One look outside and she gasped. There lay the planet that had been in her dreams for the past four decades, shining in the light shed on it by the two suns of Alpha Centauri. "That, my dear Deirdre," spoke Zakharov as he put a hand on her shoulder and leaned over to her a bit to look out himself, "is Chiron – our future. John said that we'd arrive in a few days."

"I look forward to it…", Deirdre smiled, and then she saw something odd. "Oh, hey, the continents have an odd red tinge from here. Could that be the light?"

"I don't know… I suppose it could…" Zakharov removed his hand from her shoulder and Deirdre felt cold rush in again. She smiled almost ruefully as she turned around.

"Well, if you don't know, neither do I. You're the optics expert. Actually, you're the expert in just about everything… Oh, I'm so tired…" She yawned before she knew she did. He stepped towards the door tentatively but hesitant.

"I'll leave you to sleep. Will you be allright?" 'He's worried, how kind of him…', Deirdre thought and smiled.

"Yes. Thanks for the good care, Prokhor. I can't thank you enough, it means the world to me." Her smile broadened and Zakharov smiled as well, clearly at ease now.

"I don't need any thanks, Deirdre, your smile is enough…" He went outside, leaving Deirdre to rest, which she set to work to do right away. After having raised the temperature a few degrees, she put on her pyjamas – the cryosuit ended up in her waste bin – and crawled into her bed. As she was arranging her sheets, her eyes fell on the small calendar that she had in her bedroom: its numbers indicated July 26th of the year 2099. Deirdre put her head down on the pillow.

'I'm… old… I must be sixty-six now… oh well, I still look twenty-six…' She thought of the professor, and of how he looked. 'I don't know how he manages it, but he actually looked younger, about fifty. I know he's older than that.' She smiled. 'Never mind his age though… he's a genius and he's my closest friend yet…'

The work went by as usual for the crew of the USS Unity. The landing pods were being stocked and the only thing that they were waiting for was the correct position. The captain would shut down the engines and input the seeding command to 'seed' the planet with extra supplies and such, after which the landing could begin. In the science labs, everything was quiet since there was no more equipment present and thus nothing else to do. The crew spent most of their time chatting and killing time by playing games. Zakharov and Deirdre frequently played chess: and, though Deirdre had been good before cryostasis, Zakharov had to admit that she had become better.

"You win again." He was baffled: it was the third time she'd won in a row. "I'm amazed. Your skill seems to have increased exponentially over the past few days."

"Nah, I've just studied your techniques. If I were to play against Sean…" At the mention of his name, the boy looked up: Deirdre smiled at him and continued. "Now that would be interesting. Sean is much better than I am, and so are you."

"Don't bother…", said Sean as he rose from the ground. "I've won every game we've played yet." At the mention of that fact, Zakharov blushed and Deirdre laughed mildly.

"Don't tease the professor, Sean… he has pride too, you know." Zakharov's blush had already vanished.

"It's all right, Deirdre… I don't mind, I'm not a sore loser. But would you-" He was interrupted by the speakers, from which the voice of captain Garland issued.

"Ladies and gentlemen, our final hours aboard the USS Unity have arrived. The engines will be shut down and the seeding will begin. Stand by for evacuation and landing." The intercom bleeped off, and Deirdre and Zakharov rose.

"Well, now we just have to wait for the seeding to begin…" They walked over to the nearest porthole and looked out. The sight of Chiron, so close, glowing in the light of the twin sun, slowly passed underneath them. Deirdre smiled and stood.

"Why are the engines still on?", Sean suddenly asked. Deirdre and Zakharov looked at him, then out of the porthole again. They, too, saw it then: the bright white flame of anoxic fire that the engines breathed out.

"Sean's right, the engines should've been shut down by now… I'll contact Jay, see if there's something wrong…" Deirdre walked over to her desk and pushed a few buttons. "Jay? Jay, do you read me? …Jay, speak to me…" She turned around to face Prokhor and Sean. "No answer. Sean, you should go to Gareth and the others. They'll probably be at the docking bay." The younger boy nodded and ran off, leaving the door open. Deirdre sighed and turned to the professor. "Prokhor… I'm going to find John, I need to know if there's something wrong, if he needs help…"

"I'm going with you, Deirdre." Zakharov walked along with her. "We should go to command post first. Deirdre, can you go look for Lal? If something's wrong, he can help the captain best – they've been alternating duties for forty years."

"Right, I'll see if I can find him…" Deirdre rushed off through one corridor as Zakharov took the other. He ran, not looking left or right, not perceiving the faces of those that came outside to see what the commotion was about. At the command bay, he stopped. The door was closed, and appeared to be locked.

"Come on, open up…", Zakharov muttered as he struggled with the door, forcing it open slowly. Curse after curse followed in every language he could use as the door jammed halfway and refused to move any further, forcing the tall scientist to practically crawl through. He managed to get inside of the dark control room, and immediately noticed someone lying on the floor – lying quite still in what appeared to be…

The light flashed on, and Zakharov's worst fears were confirmed.

"John!" He rushed over and sat down beside the captain. He tried to rouse him, but to no avail. He bowed his head, despair washing over him like a tidal wave over the coastline. He heard the sound of running and looked up. The door that had refused to move was now wide open. Deirdre came in first, followed by Pravin Lal.

"John! Oh, my god… Prokhor, is he…?" The scientist could only nod as he looked up at the two: Deirdre immediately sagged, while Lal only bowed his head in the same way Zakharov had only seconds before.

"I'll start the seeding…", Zakharov said, his voice tinged by something that made it sound hoarse and constricted.

"I'll try and shut down the engines, but first I'll tell the people to escape." Zakharov inputted a few commands into the main computer, which responded immediately: a metallic female voice sounded in the command post.

"Seeding initiated. Seeding will last approximately four minutes, delay landing sequence accordingly. Good luck." Meanwhile, Lal inputted a few commands into the other computer, then cursed.

"Whoever killed the captain, did so for a reason. I can't shut the engines down. I'll try to eject the fuel… but first, evacuation…" He touched a few buttons on an interface next to him and then spoke loud and clear: "Ladies and gentlemen, there are some problems which require our immediate evacuation. Please proceed to the nearest landing pod, and do not panic. The situation is serious but not out of our control. The evacuation is merely a precaution. One commander or lieutenant commander per pod, each of which should input the landing code they receive on their commlink after seeding has ended." He turned the intercom off and turned to Zakharov. "Take her to a landing pod. Please. I'll try to eject the fuel, but I'll stop my attempt when the seeding is done." He was already frantically inputting strings of code into the computer while Zakharov picked up Deirdre from where she had crumbled and helped her to the landing bay.

"Prokhor… no, no…" She couldn't think or act coherently, yet her feet seemed to move on their own now that she was aided by her friend. "He can't… no way…"

"It's true. But he would have wanted you to go to the planet. Please, be strong for now. Mourn on Planet." They arrived at the landing pod where Sean motioned for them to enter.

"Prokhor, come with me… I need your support…" Deirdre looked up at him desperately, her eyes filled with tears – and she looked into eyes that were as tearful as her own.

"I can't. Only one commander per pod. But Deirdre… If I do not make it…" He looked at her intensely, his eyes showing profound love. "Deirdre… I…" He moved to her swiftly, capturing her in his arms, and then he kissed her. Both of them forgot all around them one blissful second: Zakharov abandoned his worries as all of the love and affection he felt for Deirdre automatically poured out of his heart and soul into that one kiss, while Deirdre felt her heart stop at once and her sorrow fly out of her mind as a sparrow out into a brilliant blue sky.

And then they let go.

"I love you, Deirdre Skye, with all my heart and soul. If I do not make it, think of me. I will always be with you. Always." He pushed her inside while she was still dumbstruck by the kiss and closed the door, after signalling to Sean to input the code that would be given to her if she couldn't. The boy nodded. As Zakharov walked away from the pod that was now gone from view, he felt the impact of what he did hit him. He didn't even notice someone running towards him.

"Professor! Professor Zakharov! We must escape! The seeding is almost completed!" Zakharov shook his head. He couldn't move – his feet refused, his mind was numb… And then he felt something hit him hard, and he blacked out…

Deirdre came to her senses when the ship was already heading for Chiron. She looked around, dazed, and then saw Sean.

"W-what happened?"

"The professor brought you here. He told me that I had to input the code you would receive. One of your assistants helped me. We've evacuated." He moved closer. "And the professor kissed you, Dee…" Deirdre felt her lips tentatively, and when she did so, she clenched her other hand, feeling something hard press into the palm of her hand. She opened her hand to see a small silver ring rest on the palm of her hand.

"He…" She heard him say it again in her mind – "I love you, Deirdre Skye, with all my heart and soul. If I do not make it, think of me. I will always be with you. Always." – and nodded slowly. "How many are there on board?", she asked Sean, knowing she'd have to concentrate on the matter at hand, which was surviving – surviving to see him again.

"One hundred, counting you and me. Plus a dozen construction bots and some other bots that'll come in handy." Sean grinned. "I helped assemble a few of them."

"When will we land? ...Gareth?", she addressed the one that had a clear view of the planet below them.

"It shouldn't be too long... brace yourselves, we're going into the atmosphere in five minutes!" Deirdre looked again at the ring and wondered if Zakharov really feared that he wouldn't arrive on Chiron. If that was so... she dared not think of it. Instead, she put the ring tentatively on her index finger and sat down slowly, waiting for the descent to proceed and meanwhile falling into a blissfully dreamless sleep.

A/N: I would like to apologise for not posting last week, when I was supposed to. My fiancé/boyfriend invited me to stay over at his place and since I love him more than I love the universe... How could I say no?

So, in order to make up, this special chapter. And a special thanks to my second reviewer, who had some pretty good points. It may be hard to read sometimes, but I found it rather refreshing to write all situations from two different perspectives. Besides, the story will now take place on Chiron, where - obviously - they are separated... Poor them... Anyway, I hope you've enjoyed the chapter... and until next update...