SONG CREDIT TO: LINKIN PARK - EASIER TO RUN
It's so confusing, isn't it? To be someone you aren't? To adapt to find out you aren't that person at all?
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I couldn't help it, I began to cry. I put both my hands up to cover my face. Adams had become my alter-ego. My get away. It saved me. Harry let go of my cloak, and I longed to feel him hug me, and hold me close. I curled up as tight as I could, weeping. Harry kneeled beside me. "Tell me everything," He said, shortly. I choked softly, but nodded.
"When I was younger," I said, now that I had calmed down. I searched for words. It was hard to explain. "I was taken from my home by Malfoy and Macnair." Harry nodded, as he sipped on his Earl Grey tea. I sighed and inhaled the scent of my mint tea. "They raised me as their own child. I had everything I could want at my fingertips. Draco Malfoy was my closest friend," I mumbled before taking a sip of my tea. Harry looked at me thoughtfully.
"So that's why you protected him that one time," He said, somewhat angrily. I smiled weakly. "Yes. But then, later on that night..He called you something cruel, and I protected you…But anyway, I was sent here to keep an eye. On you. But something happened along the way. I started to hate my family. And I do now. I hate everything I've ever done, anything cru—" I was cut off by Harry setting his cup down with a clatter. I winced at the sudden sound, and he turned to me. There were tears in his eyes.
"Harry, what's wrong?" I asked, sliding closer to him and looking into his eyes. Sorrow filled them, and I didn't know what to say, but I did the only thing in my mind. I tapped his chin and smiled weakly. "Cheer up. For me?" I quoted. Something Harry had said. He laughed softly, and moved his fingers under his glasses to wipe away the tears. He looked up at me.
"Should I trust you?" He asked, his eyes still full of that angry sorrow. "Please." I murmured, and he sobbed softly. I pulled him close, something I had wanted to do since third year, and I let him cry as I stroked his hair, feeling the cold tears fall against my neck and shoulder. I could feel his breath starting to even out. He'd fallen asleep. Gently laying back, letting Harry's head rest on my shoulder, I softly hummed to him, telling him everything would be alright, and everything would sort itself out. It wasn't long before I fell asleep as well.
I woke up to see Harry stirring a cup of coffee. He looked rested, and his eyes were clear. "Feel better?" I asked, sitting up.
"No," He replied, quietly. I stood, walking towards him. He whipped around, glaring at me in the eyes. I sighed, before I sat back, before I began to speak.
"Something has been taken, from deep inside of me. A secret I've kept locked away, no one can ever see. Wounds so deep they never show, they never go away. Like moving pictures in my head, for years and year's they've played.." Harry looked taken aback, but I contiuned. My eyes were filled with tears again.
"If I could change I would, take back the pain I would, retrace every wrong move that I made I would if I could, stand up and take the blame I would, If I could take all the shame to the grave." Harry stepped closer, and I moved backwards.
"Sometimes I remember, the darkness of my past, bringing back these memories, I wish I didn't have. Sometimes I think of letting go, and never looking back, and never moving forward so there would never be a past.." Harry's eyes went wide as I gritted my teeth. "Just washing it aside, all this helplessness inside, pretending I don't feel misplaced, It's so much simpler than change, It's easier to run, replacing this pain with something numb, It's so much easier to run, than face all this pain here all alone.." I ended, tears streaming down my face.
"Do you understand?" I asked, bitterly as my shoulders shook. He ignored my question and dropped the cup of coffee, causing glass and hot liquid to splash everywhere. He walked right through it, kneeling in front of me, grabbing my shoulders.
"I'm here, you don't have to face it alone like I have. I'm right here," He replied, and I collapsed into his arms, sliding off the couch and kneeling in front of him, bent over so my head was leaned into his lap, sobbing. I felt his hands brush through my hair, and I felt so helpless.
"I'll keep your secret," He said, quietly before he tilted my head up and looked me in the eyes.
"Promise me.." I said, softly. Harry brought me closer, hugging me tighter.