I apologize in advance. This one is kinda short. I hope you like it. Thank you so much to everyone who's been leaving comments. I really appreciate them. I can't wait to get the next chapter out. I think it's going to be entertaining…
Chapter 15: Am I the Cloud or the Umbrella?
We're still laying here in this same spot. We haven't moved, not even an inch. I'm still pressed to his side, listening to his heartbeat.
The sun peeks through the blinds, leaving zebra stripes across the bed. His eerily stable voice comes from a clenched jaw and stressed whisper against the walls of my room. "I was going to end the treaty yesterday. I was thinking about killing him yesterday, all of them."
I look up at his stiff face and get introduced to clear intention and unfiltered thoughts. Calm and unrehearsed indifference carve the furrow between his brows. This is what he often thinks about.
I trail my fingers up and down the bulging veins in his arm. "I'm glad I stopped you. I'm no reason to fight or kill over. The treaty exists to keep everyone out of trouble, right?"
Edward's only protection is the treaty. I should've known there was a bigger reason for keeping our meeting a secret. Something tells me he knew Jacob would cross the line.
"The treaty makes sure we don't sell the other out, or move product on each other's land, kill anyone on the other's land, or steal from the other's land. But I caught him trying to steal from me." Jacob brings my weathered hand to his lips and speaks into my knuckles, "The treaty would have been void. I would've reined open season upon his head. That's what he wants. That's what Sam wants."
"I don't understand." Why on earth would Edward want the treaty to end? He would be left defenseless.
"That's what's at stake here. If Sam is chosen as Alpha, he will end the treaty, getting rid of the Cullens once and for all. If I am chosen as Alpha, my father's one condition is that I uphold the generational treaty. My job would be to keep the peace and maintain the generational order."
"I get how that helps the Wolves, but how does ending the treaty help the Cullens?"
"Some of the Cullens think they have what it takes to wipe us out. They play dirty, so I know they've got something waiting in the cut. All they really want is to be able to say we broke the treaty, and not them. Snuffing us out would mean they own every part of business here in Forks. What's left of the wolf bloodline will starve."
I lift up to look at him face to face. "I don't like screwing things up, Jake. I was afraid to tell you about what happened. I was afraid of what you might do, especially when I didn't understand the costs. I couldn't let you leave."
"Why?" Jake nibbles on the tips of my fingers for emphasis.
Because nobody ever comes back for me.
"I didn't want you to hate me. I didn't want you to feel like you couldn't trust me. I couldn't let you make a decision that you'd resent me for," my voice undeniably shaking towards the end.
I didn't want you to throw me away.
His stare tore me apart. Suppressed sadness spoils his beautiful features. He's tortured by my words. Grabbing my face with both hands he speaks so strong yet vulnerable, "All I've wanted is for you to feel safe with me. Bella, I would never hurt you or put you in a bad situation. Do I seem so fickle that this one thing would break us? Tell me how I can make that feeling go away. Tell me what you need, and I'll give it to you."
I don't know what to say. I don't know how to respond. Why is this so hard for me? "Jake I've been on my own for so long, I never feel completely safe. This is scary for me. I don't want to need you. I don't want you to feel me cling, but I don't want to feel alone anymore." You make me feel needy. You make me fear my desire for closeness.
"Why do you doubt me?" He pulls me closer into his warmth, cradling me tighter.
"What?" I can't pull away. His hold is so tight, I'm forced to acknowledge his question. Is this my heart in the clutches of death? I give in too soon and nature falls out of balance.
"I said, why do you doubt me?" He whispers into my ear.
I don't like that word, doubt. It sounds wrong. You picked the wrong word. "I don't," I feel like I'm running with only one shoe on.
Jake interrupts me with a knowing glance. And then I remember what I once told him in the diner. He feels too much. Maybe that's why I'm drawn to him. He can feel much more than what I wish to convey. He can feel what I work to suppress.
His question is like a thorn in my foot. The strike of my bare heel is so painful. I'm not prepared to run this race. I'm not prepared to limp and stumble. I forge on, "It doesn't make sense for me to feel this way about you. It doesn't make sense for you to want me as much as I want you." I want to trust you too much. I want to follow you blindly, but that isn't me. It wasn't me, not until I met you. How mutual can desire be? How mutual can possession be?
I don't understand what I'm feeling. I thought this would be like flying or burning heat, but this is levitation. I'm being held by someone else's will.
"Some things don't need to be explained, Bella. All I see is you. All I can seem to think about is you. I'd do anything for you." His murderous aura says it all. He squeezes me even tighter.
And I know what he's thinking before he can get the words out: 'I'd kill for you.' It makes me feel so good, satiated. It makes my face tingle. The energy hits me in all the right places. He's saying all the right things.
He rolls on top of me, speaking into my lips, "I've decided that I'm never letting go. Don't pull away now. I won't let you."
His twisted smile and tight grip on my hips is too much. He knows it too. The way his bruising hands guide my legs around him. He knows I like it, the way he grinds into my center. The way he lets me connect to the beast.
"I'm just a girl from Forks who's probably going to end up working as a waitress for the rest of my life. Where the hell do you think I'm going?"
"And I'm just a boy from the Rez who's turned into a monster. This works both ways, Bella. Quit trying to control your emotions, it's tainting, making me edgy."
You're asking me to seek comfort within exposure. "You're asking me to do something that I've never done before. I don't know how to balance emotion. It's either all or nothing. But you, not you. You can feel everything and still function. You're not a monster Jake, I think you're quite the opposite."
"Hold on to me long enough, and you'll find out there's nothing left of me to save. I won't let you fall. This is the best feeling in the world. We both know it. Your deepest desire doesn't have to be a fantasy." He looks at me with so much excitement. He makes it sound freeing but forbidden, pleasure and pain. I'm covered in goosebumps.
I run my fingers along his neck and over his ears. He's asking me to jump into the deepest part of the ocean with no life jacket, just his outreached arms. I bite down hard on my bottom lip and breathe him in. I'm stuck on the edge, our lips a millimeter apart.
His jet black hair ghosts over my cheeks like creamed silk. His hooded eyes look straight down into mine, waiting. And the question comes to the surface once again, 'Will you accept me?' He swiftly drags his tongue along my jaw, catching my bottom lip, aura pouring into me before abruptly pulling away and disappearing.
He slips back into my room with a warm, damp towel. His hair is tucked behind his ears, a determined pucker to his lips.
I feel his fingers swiftly lock around my ankle and begin to wash yesterday's dried mud from my feet.
"I can get myself clean," I hedge. Does the dirt bother you? I could scrub harder. I could hide the wear and tear.
"Not when I'm the reason they're dirty."
He gets down on his knees at the end of my bed and continues to clear away the clay. He's taking care of the dirt and the grime that settled above and below my skin. His touch is so sweet, like he's handling a baby.
I raise up on my elbows and watch him methodically arouse my senses. The way he caresses each toe and massages each tendon creates a progression into mutual pleasure. He gently studies every contour of my skeletal structure, bending me to his liking. This is reciprocal energy.
My breath catches at the drag of his teeth along my calf and thigh. His tongue runs down my inner leg before settling on my ankle bone. I can barely hear his voice above my heavy breathing, "Don't stray from this soul tie, Bella. I'll chase you down, every single time."
This is more than pleasure. I've never been to this place before. This is needle tension. There is man and beast, good and evil, darkness and light. No, you're so much more than that. "You're my dark angel. I won't run, not when your wings are about to sprout."
"Do you really believe that?" His voice low and hushed in unbelief.
"That's the only way this makes sense," I murmur.
He drops the towel to the floor and climbs over me. His hand crawls under my shirt and tweaks my bare nipples. He roughly pulls the worn cotton over my head and nips from my sternum to my belly button.
It never feels wrong when we're together. It's something pure and dirty within. The harsh light from outside makes his features so much more pronounced. I can see much clearer in this moment. Whether he's in light or darkness, there's nothing to be afraid of.
His hot mouth finally reaches my soaking wet folds teasing me, licking along the space between my pelvis and panty lines. "The devil was once an angel, Bells."
He strips us completely bare.
His fingers are drawn to my wet button. I'm already pulsating from his spiritual pressure. It won't take much for me to climax.
The playful curling of his digits make my stomach contract. His eyes roam over my figure, watching every twitch and groan.
My essence squelches with an echo. Our excitement comes out in moans. Impatience build to a new level. I need his vicious energy flowing through me. I'm being teased. He's dangling the passion in front of me.
I watch his lips replace his fingers. The way he circles and suckles my clit makes me call out his name. My pussy is completely engulfed in his mouth. My face bunches up at the sensation.
I'm pulled closer and further down onto his firm tongue when he reaches up to clasp our hands together. I'm caught up in the spasms and convulse over his flicking and swirling tongue. I'm overcome with his forceful affection.
His dripping erection makes me open my legs wider. I am serving myself to you. Please receive what I cannot explain.
I lift up on my forearms and watch him glide into me. Before we're completely conjoined, a sharp current races though my palms and spine that makes us pause.
Did you feel that too? Your smile gives me comfort and reassurance. I can breathe deeply, but something changes.
His choice of rhythm makes me shake. These are short deep strokes that keep us close. He has all the control. I'm writhing under his thumb attacking my clit. Something has snapped.
"Jake, you're driving me crazy," I wail, falling back into the pillow.
"I'm going to make all of you crazy until you understand," his heavy voice replies in vigor.
Understand what? How you've created chaos that my walls can't get enough of? I feel so precious within the madness. I'm so full and slippery as he thrusts long and intense over and over before driving short deep thrusts again. When I think he's formed a pattern, his winding hips, and quick digits circling my clit, prove me wrong. The angles are changing while I quiver in the brain fog.
My back arches high above the pillows opening my rib cage and tightening my walls around him. The sweet torture of overstimulation doesn't stop. He keeps stroking long and powerful before quick and shallow thrusts work me up all over again.
"It's ok Bella. It's ok to get lost," he growls into my neck.
My eyes slam shut and I'm taken away by my senses. The sounds of our breathing and joined bodies, the smell of sweat and Jacob's scent, the feel of his smooth hands gripping my skin, his confident thrust and his damp hair fluttering. I'm completely lost until all the darkness has found it's way inside me.
Jacob's presence feels more direct. I open my eyes to pleasure. We're coming together. The pulsing is so strong, I reach for him to hold me. I'm filled to the hilt and I can't get close enough.
I'm anchored to Jake, tethered to something vibrational. Our eyes lock and pupils dilate as we both exhale in release. His lips crash into mine, forcing entrance and dominance. The darkness is here to protect me. I will nurture the beast that lives inside of Jacob.
He collapses to the side, letting the air turn our sweat cool and our skin supple.
"Some people are gonna want to meet you. Come with me?"
"Some people?" I laugh at his weird phrasing.
"Yeah, some people," he lazily chuckles into my shoulder.
Alright I cut this chapter in half but things will be moving along in the next chapter… I felt like I needed to work on the second half more… I didn't want to keep you all waiting too long so I thought you all would enjoy this for now… Thank you for reading! I'm always interested in what you guys think!