Number Four: Undo his dreds
Weir snuck into Ronon's room, against her better judgment. She usually tried to avoid this room, afraid of what the Satedan had done to it since he had become part of the team. To her surprise, it was extremely neat, with everything put away and nothing out of place. Of course, this shouldn't have surprised her, since Ronon had after all served for years in the military on his home planet, but for the point of this story she had incorrectly assumed his room was a total mess. Also, he had very few possessions, so this was ridiculous thinking on her part, but the author is now moving on to the actual story, since her rambling has absolutely nothing to do with what is going on.
Ronon was asleep, which put Weir at ease. The man always made her nervous, mainly because he was so darn violent (hee hee). She watched him sleep for no reason whatsoever, then noticed his dredlocks. They were massive, and a mess. He obviously hadn't combed his hair in a long time, if ever, which offended her girlish sensibilities. So, acting on instinct and without thought for future consequences, she began to untangle them, pulling out her heavy-duty comb from her pocket. It took a long time. When she was finished, she had a pile of various strange things on the floor, which had all come out of Ronon's hair. There were various knives, and other assorted pointy objects, as well as a needle and thread, a collection of oranges, bananas, and apples, and a multitude of Aretus bugs (if you don't know what these are, maybe you picked the wrong fanfic to read…shame on you).
She then cut it all off, because she always preferred guys to have less hair than she did. So, there Ronon was, lying on his bed with a haircut that oddly resembled that of Lt. Colonel Sheppard. He woke up, extremely confused to find Dr. Weir in his room. He gave her a quizzical look, then realized that he had significantly less hair than when he fell asleep. He then glared at the one person who could possibly be responsible, considering she was still holding a pair of scissors and was collecting the huge pile of hair on the floor. "You cut off my dreds. Why." It was more of a command than a question, like most of the things he asked. She looked up to see him glaring at her, and immediately tried to explain herself. "But they were messy…and smelly…and for God's sake, there was a colony of Aretus bugs living in them!" She gestured towards the bugs crawling on the floor, looking for a place to hide. Ronon was not amused, and in a fit of rage picked up one of the knives from the floor and stabbed her with it.