A/N: Okay, so this next chapter is another one of my faves, but before that, I'll answer reviews:
Ragnarok-The Fallen Angel: Not your best chapter.
A/n: Yeah, I know, but this chapter is really funny… or so says a friend of mine.
summer-loven-2: lol! O MY GOD! this stoey is so funny. Keep'em coming.
A/N: Will do.
itachi'smaniac: ME:Mommy, how did Hinata get a baby inher stomach?Did she eat her?
Mom:Well...Um..You seeIn complete panick modeWhen a mommy and a daddy love each other very very much...
Mom:Damn you spykitty,damn you! .
()
A/N: LOL. Thanks… I think…
Tsuchiko: Oh I wonder if Gaara is married to someone...
A/N: Wait and find out… well, okay, this chapter's title answers that for you, but still…
Whatever… And, there is a lot of skipping around in this chapter, but the bold and underlined words should help you figure that out. Also, I'll have random sound effects in… where ever.
Random NASCAR Quote:
"Got you tv turned up?"
"Yep."
"Gonna wake the neighbors?"
"Yep."
Anyway, chapter 8!
Chapter 8: Gaara's… WIFE! And Neji's Tantrum, part 2
"Okay… maybe I ran a little too far…" Sasuke muttered, looking around and noticing the bland, tan desert around him.
"Gaara, c'mon! You're gonna be late! ... Again!"
Sasuke looked over and noticed Gaara literally being dragged (obviously like he didn't want to, considering his arms were crossed and he looked like a little boy who was about to throw a temper-tantrum) by some random blond girl who seemed to have stolen the Kazekage hat and was wearing it.
The girl (wonderfully named Ashley… as in my wonderful (counotgh) friend) noticed Sasuke, looked down at Gaara who didn't show any sign of moving for himself.
"Fine then, forget you!" Ashley yelled, and then headed over to Sasuke. "Hi. I'm Gaara's wife."
"Uh… what?"
"I'm Gaara's wife."
"I got that."
"Well, my name is Ashley…"
"Uh, okay…"
"And I like cheese!"
"… Wow, Gaara, you married a winner." Sasuke teased.
"Shut. Up. Or. ELSE." Gaara muttered under his breath… but it was still quite loud.
"Can't be any worse than what Neji is gonna do to me when he catches me." Sasuke muttered. "Anyway, how'd you get married? Obviously against your own will…"
"It was his never failing stupidity!" Ashley randomly added.
"Shut. Up." Gaara demanded in his oh-so-happy tone.
"Well, if you thought about what a paper that said "Form of Marriage" on it before signing it when I lied and said it was someone wanting your autograph, you wouldn't be considered stupid, OR married to me… But I'M not complaining! . "
"Okay, well, THAT was by-far THE stupidest thing I've heard of someone else doing… besides half the stuff Naruto does, but he has a mental issue or something, so he doesn't count."
"Probably." Ashley responded.
"Will you people just GO AWAY and leave me alone, especially you, Ashley, and if you even think of following me I'll kill you, bring you back, cut your head off, bring you back, shoot you with a machine gun, bring you back, clone you, kill you then bring you back so you can watch your clones die, then tape your eyes open and tie you to a chair that's super-glued to the ground and make you watch Barney until you die, then bring you back, kill you again, bring you back, torture you until you sign the divorce paper which will probably kill you, then bring you back and live on with my life FAR away from you which means… god, I forgot what I was saying… " Gaara stated, and then he stood up and began walking away.
"… I think that's the most I've ever heard Gaara say…" Sasuke muttered.
"I love you, too, Gaara!" Ashley randomly yelled, hearts and all… which is weird even for her. "Anyway, Sasuke, are you married?" she asked randomly (do I even need to say that?).
"Uh… how do you know who I am?" Sasuke bluntly asked.
"Never mind that! Are you married or not?" Ashley asked, now mad and demanding an answer.
Sasuke turned away.
"I'll take that as a 'yes'. Who is it?"
"Hinata…" Sasuke muttered. Ashley just about died of laughter. "What's so funny?"
"H… Hinata! The girl who just about DIES when Naruto's around? HA! That's HILLARIOUS!" Ashley yelled between laughs.
"Glad to know I'm entertaining you…" Sasuke sarcastically muttered. "But should you go get Gaara before he returns to the Sand village?"
"What do you mean?"
"He was heading toward it."
…
…
…
…
"GAARA! GET THE HELL BACK HERE, DAMN YOU!" Ashley shrieked before chasing after the possibly going to be massacred Kazekage.
Sasuke followed after her, finding this hilarious.
MEANWHILE… At Naruto and Sakura's…
"Naruto, that was completely inappropriate and rude." Sakura stated.
"What, the telling Neji where Sasuke was or the laughing?" Naruto stupidly asked.
"Both."
"But it was funny! YOU wanted to marry Sasuke, but Hinata beat you to it! And she was probably the only girl who I though didn't like Sasuke!" Naruto stated before hollering with laughter.
"Want to know something funnier? Hinata liked you." Sakura stated before walking away.
"Uh… Hinata liked me?" Naruto bluntly asked.
"Yeah, arsehole, you blew that, huh?" Sakura called back.
ANYWAY…
In the forest, Neji was looking for Hinata and TenTen tagged along.
"Dammit… where the HECK did she go!" Neji yelled, obviously attempting to ask a question but it was hard considering how mad he was. "I'm gonna KILL her!"
"Aren't you, like, her guard or something? Is it even legal for you to kill her?" TenTen asked, giving Neji a weird look.
"Why the hell do you care?" Neji asked.
"LANGUAGE!" TenTen yelled.
"What?"
"You heard me!"
"It never fucking bothered you before!"
"Well, that's because before a crush word didn't fly out of your mouth ever 5 seconds!"
"I'm anger! It's my way of fuckin' venting, got it?"
"Well, you should be more appropriate!"
"Shut the hell up1 I can say whatever the hell I feel like!"
"No, YOU shut up and get some anger management lessons while you're at it!"
"Go to hell!"
"Being around you is enough like it!"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"Why the heck did you follow me anyway?" Neji asked, not nearly as mad.
"Well, wouldn't YOU like to know," TenTen said in a mocking voice.
ELSEWHERE…
Sasuke, Ashley and Gaara(again being dragged against his will) arrived at the forest.
"Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell… at least we made it to the forest…" Ashley said. She then pointed to Gaara, "no thanks to you and all your not wanting to come."
"…" Gaara only glared in response, stood up, and began walking toward Konoha(Sorry for spelling… if it's wrong).
Ashley sighed and followed.
"Ashley, was it?" Sasuke asked.
"Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees?" she asked in an annoying voice, obviously trying to get on their nerves.
"Why are you wearing the Kazekage hat?"
"Cause, if Gaara wore it and I dragged him, it'd get dirty! Plus, it doesn't go very well with his outfit, anyway."
"Oh, Sasuke, there you are!" Hinata exclaimed, randomly appearing from no where…
Sasuke anxiously looked around, "Where's Neji?"
"Not here." Ashley stated.
"I know that." Sasuke replied.
"Who's that?" Hinata asked.
"Gaara's wife, Ashley!" she yelled.
"You didn't have to yell!" Sasuke yelled back.
"So, you're yelling!"
"Just shut up!"
"Stop yelling at me then!"
"GAH! Go away!"
"Never! "
"You know Gaara left without you. Again. And he's probably not going to wait for you. Again. And leave for his village. Again. So, why don't you just leave us alone and chase him. Again." Sasuke randomly stated.
"… OH Dammit! . Gaara get back here NOW… AGAIN!" Ashley yelled, then ran off after Gaara.
"Um… what was THAT about?" Hinata asked.
"I. Have. No. Clue… Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo… how'd you get rid of Neji?" Sasuke asked.
"Um……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… (Silence)"
"Well?"
"I kicked him…"
"Where?"
"Y'know… there…"
"(Surprised expression)… Wow, that's harsh."
"I know."
"He's gonna kill you."
"Yep."
"Okay, well, he'll kill me first, but you'll be next."
"Nah TenTen's probably first."
"True dat."
"Totally, dude…"
"Why were we talking like that?"
"No clue… But we sounded like hippies."
"No, hippies are weirder… and they love everyone… and everything."
"Yeah, you so can't be a hippie, Sasuke."
"Like I'd even want to."
"I can't picture you as one… wait, yeah I can… it's a funny picture!"
"Like Gaara in a pink tutu?"
"Okay, now THAT is a hilarious image!"
"Tell me about it!"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"So…"
"Wanna got back to the village?"
"Yeah…"
"Why'd you come out here anyway?" Sasuke randomly asked.
"Well, if I stayed there he'd of killed me." Hinata responded.
"Nah, me first."
"Then TenTen… Whoa, I feel like we've said this before…"
"I think we did…"
A/N: Random part at the end… but that was a random talk between Sasuke and Hinata… And Ashley IS a really life person, f.y.i.
Sorry it took so long to update…