A/N: Happy Sunday!
When Regina woke up the following morning, something was different. Not Emma's arm, the way it curled around the dip of her waist, hand splayed against her stomach. Not the warmth of the woman's body pressed snugly against her own. Not the clink of sunlight which snuck around the edge of the blind at Emma's dormer window. No, it was something else, something inside.
She felt a little lighter. That was it. That was the word which described how she was feeling. Something had lifted. The weight of her past hadn't disappeared entirely but perhaps she wasn't carrying it alone any more. Sharing her story, talking to the police, the act had allowed her to shed some of the oppressive memories or at least share the load.
It wasn't all on her. In fact, she'd done her part. Now it was up to the police to bring those who had done her wrong to justice. Ok, perhaps there'd be a trial and she'd have to give evidence but that was a long way down the road. Months, maybe even years. And until that time, she didn't want nor need to worry about her next role. It wasn't her responsibility today. She'd done what she needed to do. And yes, it had taken some time and she had been hesitant about giving her statement. But it had been the right thing to do. She knew that now.
Emma's fingers twitched against the bare skin of her stomach. Oh, bare skin. Regina didn't move as she took in her attire. She was wearing her pyjamas still but the thin top had risen up during the night, exposing her midriff to the blonde's touch. She closed her eyes, focusing in on how it felt. Tender, soft, caring.
These were words which hadn't described most of the touches which Regina had experienced since she arrived in London. But with Emma, things were different. With her girlfriend, she reminded herself, things were different.
Twisting around, the movement jostled Emma awake but the older woman's grumbles of protest were silenced as Regina kissed her. Instead, Emma readjusted her arm, pulled the brunette closer, and kissed her right back.
Day by day, Regina woke feeling ever lighter. Most mornings she kissed Emma awake but sometimes the blonde beat her to it, rousing Regina with featherlight brushes against the back of her neck. Emma's shift patterns had been kind to them both and they regularly got to enjoy evening meals together. Often, Regina would find herself sharing with Emma some story or detail that she had told the police.
It was little things, piecemeal, almost causal in the way they spilled into their conversation. But it also felt natural and without pressure. Bit by bit, Regina was letting Emma in, sharing with her the darkness which dominated her past. And with every share, Regina felt that weight lift a little more.
As for Emma, perhaps she felt that weight land on her in some way but she didn't mind. She wanted to share the load, to share the burden. With every new reveal, she wanted more than ever to protect Regina from any other traumas, to take those memories of her past and destroy them. She knew she couldn't, however. She knew they'd always be a part of Regina. Which was why, with every piece of information she acquired, their relationship strengthened.
Every few days, Emma received a text from her father, updating her on the case. There wasn't much to update, to be honest, and Emma often didn't bother sharing the news with Regina because it was dispiriting. The investigation had stalled and they were waiting on warrants and paperwork and various other bureaucratic nonsense.
"But I don't get it," Emma sighed one Sunday afternoon, "Regina told you what happened to her. You know she's telling the truth. You know where he's running this operation from. What else do you need?"
"I know it's frustrating sweetheart but we'll get him in the end, ok? Just be patient. It's more important that we do this right rather than doing it quickly and him being able to worm his way out of charges on a technicality. Plus it's not just him. There are others involved. We want to get them all. If we only get Jones, someone else will just replace him and nothing will change for the women."
Emma huffed. "Yeah, I know. I get it. It's just frustrating. Thanks for the update anyway. I'll speak to you soon."
"Hang on, your mum's here. She wants a word."
It had been weeks since Emma had spoken directly with her mum. Since the night of her birthday party, in fact. She hadn't been deliberately avoiding her, exactly, but she hadn't reached out. And, in Emma's defence, Mary Margaret hadn't either. But apparently now her mum did want to talk to Emma, who was waiting to hear what she had to say.
"Hi baby, how are you?" Mary Margaret said as she was handed the phone by her husband.
"Hey Mum, I'm fine. How are you?"
"I'm good, thanks. And how's Regina?"
"She's good too, thanks for asking." David had promised his daughter that he wouldn't share details of Regina's case with his wife. While Mary Margaret knew that there was investigation and that Regina had given a statement, she had been kept in the dark about the specifics. Frankly, as far as Emma was concerned, it wasn't any of her business.
There was a pause on the other end, then, "I'm sorry about what I said at the restaurant. I suppose it was a bit of a shock to me seeing how close the two of you had become."
"I know. It's all been a bit fast. But she makes me happy."
"And that's all your father and I have ever wanted for you, baby. How's her recovery going?"
Relieved to hear her mother refer to Regina's recovery with a more positive tone, Emma settled into the sofa to fill her mother in. "Good. It's been close to two months now. She's doing well with the CBT and we've got her methadone dose sorted. I know it's a journey but she's on the right path. I'm really proud of her."
At that, Emma could practically hear Mary Margaret's eyebrows rise. "Proud?"
"Yeah. I've seen how hard she's been working to get clean. It's not easy, so yes, I'm proud of her."
"Emma, she's … I mean … just be careful, ok sweetie?"
And there it was. That fear again. Her tone laced with doubt, with disbelief. As if she didn't think Emma was aware of what she was getting into, as if she didn't see how complicated it could all become. But her mother was wrong. Emma wasn't a kid any more. She knew her own mind, she knew what she could handle. And more importantly, she knew Regina.
"Mum, I don't need to be careful. Regina's not going to hurt me, at least not deliberately. She's a good person who's been through something awful but she's come out the other side. I know you don't get it and I'm sure you've heard enough stories from Dad's work to colour your view of people who've been through traumas like hers but Regina's different. She's special, ok? You don't know her well yet but I hope that in time, you'll see what I see."
"In time? So you think she'll be staying with you for a while."
Emma sighed. "Mum, you know we're together. Regina's not staying with me, she's my girlfriend. It's not like I planned for this to happen when I brought her back here that first day but I've fallen for her. She's amazing, Mum. I'm crazy about her. I … I love her."
"You do?"
"You do?"
Emma turned around at the second voice and saw Regina standing in the doorway. "I - Mum, I gotta go." She hung up the phone and looked at the shellshocked woman. "Um, hi."
"Hi."
"So, um, you heard that, I'm guessing?"
"I did."
"Right, ok. Well, that wasn't exactly how I'd planned for you to hear me say those words."
"So, it's true?"
The doubt made Emma leap to her feet and cross the room quickly, wrapping her arms around Regina. "Of course it's true. You think I was just saying that to annoy my mother?"
Regina shrugged, avoiding Emma's gaze. It was that lack of belief in herself, or a lack of belief in what she deserved that made her doubt Emma's sincerity.
"Hey, look at me, honey."
She did, seeing warmth and kindness radiating down from Emma's expression. She mentally kicked herself. "I'm sorry."
"For what?" Emma asked.
"For doubting you. For doubting how you feel. I … I know how you feel."
"You do?"
Regina bit her bottom lip. The top one had long since healed but the white line which split the plump flesh remained prominent. "I think so, yeah. Something changed a few weeks ago. Something felt different. I might not have experienced it myself but I think I knew what was happening. I think I feel it too."
"You think?"
"Yeah, I think. I mean, I've never felt like this before, so I don't know if this is really it but it feels like it."
"It?"
Regina cocked her head to one side. "I love you too, Emma."
The blonde beamed at those words and pressed a hot kiss to Regina's lips. "I love you. And I don't just think, I know. But however long it takes you to really know, I'll wait."
"I do know. It's just a bit overwhelming isn't it? I mean, think about everything that's happened in the past two months. I suppose the speed of everything is what made me question it but I know deep down that what I feel for you is true."
"It is quick, and if we're moving too fast, just tell me. I'd never want you to feel pressured into doing anything you're not ready for."
While Regina appreciated Emma's thoughtfulness, she absolved Emma of any guilt there and then. Yes, their emotional connection had developed quickly but their physical relationship had been much more restrained, in so many ways. It wasn't moving too quickly. She was comfortable, happy, and she'd tell Emma if that ever changed. They went to bed that night, wrapped up in each other, knowing their relationship was stronger than ever.
Weeks passed. Emma's shifts threw their routines up in the air when she had to work nights but they settled down once more when she was back on days. Ruby flitted in and out of the house, a new love interest taking up much of her spare time. Not as much as Belle's mysterious Mr Gold, however. One day, when Emma went to find a dress her housemate had borrowed months before, she found herself staring into an almost empty wardrobe. Belle had, without overtly saying it, essentially moved out.
While she missed her friend, Emma couldn't deny that it was nice when it was herself and Regina in the house. It was simpler, quieter, easier, when it was just the two of them. She loved her friends but those nights when she and Regina curled up on the sofa were highlights of her week.
"You're practically married," Ruby remarked one day as she and Emma walked to work together on a rare morning when their shifts aligned.
"Shut up," Emma replied, sipping her flat white.
Ruby grinned. She knew she'd said something which had touched a nerve. And while she wasn't cruel, she wanted to find out more about Emma's relationship with Regina. The blonde had been surprisingly private. "Sure you are. She made you breakfast this morning. I saw you two last night doing the dishes together. It's so domesticated. I bet you're already not having sex every night."
"Shut up," Emma snapped, much more aggressively than before.
"Woah, Ems, I'm sorry. Um, is everything ok?" Even Ruby knew when she'd gone too far.
The blonde sighed. "Yeah, it's fine. Sorry, I didn't mean to react like that."
"S'ok. But what's up? You can tell me anything, remember?"
Emma looked sideways at her friend. She had been wanting to tell Ruby for weeks now but had never found the right moment. She supposed this was it.
"We've not had sex yet."
"Oh."
"I mean, we kiss. Loads of kissing. And sometimes when we're spooning I guess my hands get kinda close to her breasts but, well, yeah, nothing more."
"Oh, wow. I mean, it's been a few months now, right?"
Emma nodded. "Yep, almost four. And I don't mind waiting. I really don't. I know she's got some stuff to deal with but she's … fuck, she's so hot, Rubes. I mean, every night I count my blessings that I get to fall asleep holding her but Jesus I'm so horny I may explode."
There was a few seconds of silence then Ruby burst out laughing. Emma glowered at her. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I don't mean to laugh. Oh Ems, you've got girl blue balls! Can't you just have a wank in the shower or something?"
"I do. Every morning. It's not enough," Emma practically whined. "But I'm not going to ask her to do anything she's not ready for. This has to happen on her terms. After everything she's been through, the least I can do is be patient."
"Babes, you need to get laid."
At that, Emma let out a huff of frustration, both at herself and her friend. "No, I don't. This isn't about me needing to have sex. It can't be. She's my girlfriend and she's been traumatised by sex in the past. I'm not going to put any pressure on her to do anything before she's ready. We take things at her pace. And in the meantime, I'll just -"
"Buy a vibrator?"
Emma couldn't help but laugh. "Yeah, maybe one which I can use in the shower cos my fingers just ain't doing it for me any more."
Ruby screwed up her face. "TMI, Emma. TMI."
The two friends giggled together as they entered the hospital, arm in arm as they started the working day.
Later that day, as the autumn sky was stained pink, Emma arrived home, cheeks pink from the cold wind. "I'm back," she called as she hung up her coat.
"In here," Regina replied.
Emma followed the voice to the front room which had become Regina's favoured place to sit and read now that the weather had turned and the garden was no longer an option. It was late October, and the bite of the British winter was in the air.
"Hi, how was your day?" she asked, as she sat down beside the brunette and placed a kiss to her lips. "You're not reading," she observed. This was rare. Regina seemed to be making it her mission to read every book in the house. "You're quiet. Your eyes are red. Are you ok? Have you been crying?"
"I'm ok," Regina assured before Emma panicked. "But yes, I've been crying. Happy tears."
"Happy tears?"
"Your dad called."
"And?"
"They've arrested Killian. This afternoon. He's being charged along with some of the other men who were involved in the operation."
Emma let out a breath. "What are they charged with?"
"Everything. Human trafficking. Sex trafficking. Keeping a brothel. Rape."
"Rape? Killian raped you?"
"Not me, no. But I know he raped others."
Anger boiled in Emma's veins. "They got him? They really got him?"
Regina nodded. "He's in custody. Your dad said he wouldn't get bail. Emma, I think it's over, I think it's really happened. He's been caught. He's been stopped. He's not hurting anyone any more."
She dissolved into tears. A mixture of emotions as there was also relief mixed in with the happiness as well as the gut wrenching pain of her memories. Emma gathered the sobbing woman into her arms, pressed a kiss to the top of her head and held her close.
"It's over," she murmured. "It's over now. You're safe. He can't hurt you."
Regina clung to her, burying her face into Emma's chest, allowing her grief and relief in equal measure to pour forth. This was it, she realised. This was the end. She didn't have to be afraid any more. She didn't have to hide in the house. It was the end of this chapter of her life. And now she could move onto the next one. A new chapter, a better chapter. With Emma.
"I love you," she gasped, raising her tear-stained face and kissing Emma.
"I love you too," Emma mumbled into Regina's mouth as their lips parted briefly before Regina kissed her with even more intensity.
"I'm done being scared," Regina declared, pulling back and holding Emma's face in both hands. "I'm done with being a victim, a survivor. I want to live my life, Emma. I want to live it with you. I want to love and laugh and feel happy and just be normal again. I … I'm ready."
"Ready?"
"I want to have sex. Tonight. With you. I've been hesitating because of what happened to me, because I've never been with a woman before. But I want this, Emma. I'm ready. And before you say anything, this isn't because of Killian. I mean, maybe the timing makes it look like it is but today just confirmed what I've known for weeks. I love you. You love me. I feel safe with you. And I want to experience everything that relationships have to offer. So, Emma Swan, will you make love to me tonight?"
A/N: Next chapter will be NSFW. I'll make sure Regina takes things slow, don't worry. Which means a long, tender sex chapter to look forward to next week!