Life Is A Jack-in-the-Box
By Spectra16
Disclaimer: I really should think about sleeping, you know that thing you do where you go to bed and refuel your human energy tanks placed somewhere in your body. Not sure where yet though. It seems like a good idea, and 97 of all people do it SOMETIME in their life. Maybe I should start. Yeah, like in a few days. Anyhow, I don't own Pokemon, and I wouldn't want to if not for the insane amounts of money on that end.
A/N: Hope you enjoyed the first chapter, and the ones to come. I need to do a completely holiday issue, and a road trip issue, and maybe even a driver's ed one once Neesha comes of age. I should think of something even more creative. Like a Mewtwo issue. There's millions of Mewtwo fans out there. Mewtwo's like the emo boy of Pokemon.
Giovanni: What does that make me?
A/N: The evil mastermind of the show.
Giovanni: And Ash?
A/N: He's the brain impediment of the show.
Giovanni: Tracy?
A/N: The mistake.
Giovanni: Misty?
A/N: The bitch.
Giovanni: Jessie and James?
A/N: Bungling idiots with a snide/freak cat.
Giovanni: Great.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Michelle Branch and Da Yoopers
Giovanni wandered around his daughter's room while she watched Ice Princess on her expensive plasma tv across from her bed, where she was comfortably seated with Mewtwo and a bowl of cheese popcorn. Giovanni chose to take this time to find out what Neesha had added to her room, now that she appeared to be decorating it with magazine clippings and posters of random pop stars. Giovanni looked tweckedly (the expression for o.O) at a certain poster in her room of a pop singer named Michelle Branch. Giovanni looked at Neesha, who was fixated on her movie.
"Who is this Michelle Branch?" Giovanni looked at the poster, pondering something.
"Singer, dad."
"She's hot." Giovanni nodded to himself. Mewtwo eerily looked over at Giovanni and then sighed.
"How can you stand pop, Neenah?" Giovanni asked Neesha in her pet name.
"How can you stand your own smell? OH! DISS! BURN!" Neesha said without taking her eyes off of her movie. Giovanni grimaced. He then laid down on her bed, next to Mewtwo.
"Whatcha' watchin'?" He asked.
"Ice Princess," Mewtwo replied quickly, seeming to also be very into the movie.
"Why do you watch this crap?" Giovanni remarked.
"Heh. I wouldn't be talking Gio. You watch Sandra Bullock movies religiously," Mewtwo smirked. Giovanni looked at him angrily.
"How did you know that!"
Mewtwo sighed and replied sarcastically, "I'm not psychic, and I'm not a hybrid pokeman destined to destroy the world we live in."
"Oh. Right." Giovanni got up and continued to dig though Neesha's belongings. He found a small pink diary with pink fuzzy all over it and a very cheap lock that could be easily broken into/picked. Giovanni pried it open, and found the words in the front cover "Scary things come in pink, fuzzy packages". He questioned this, but started reading the deep thoughts of his ten year old daughter.
"Dear diary,
Today I got this diary as a gift from Mewtwo, who thought I needed a little venting time to myself. Which I don't. In fact, I doubt I'm going to use this thing much at all.
Anyhow, today was a pretty lame day. For lunch, we had peas and ketchup at my school. Billy stole my nap time place mat. What a dick. And Ms. Hagarpeprotski wouldn't let me use the little girls room because she said I used it too much this week. So I wet myself just to make a point. And she took away my Pokemon cards! Damn her! Kyle was supposed to trade me a Charizard today! ARGH! MY LIFE SUCKS! Oh yeah, and I learned the letter "L" in cursive. Hey! And Bobby told me he likes me today! I think he's a fox. You know-
Giovanni closed it quickly. He glanced at Neesha, who was still possessed with her movie. Mewtwo also didn't bother to look at Giovanni. He sighed loudly and put the diary back where he found it. The diary reminded him of something then.
"Hey, I got a letter in the mail today. It said you have parent teacher conferences next week," Giovanni announced.
Both Mewtwo and Neesha groaned. And then Mewtwo realized he wasn't being spoken to. He sulked then.
"Dad! Why do we have to go to those things! The teacher's tell you the same old crap-
"HEY! Language!" Giovanni interrupted her.
"Sorry, the same old SHIT they tell you every year!" Neesha said sarcastically.
"YOU'RE GROUNDED FOREVER!" Giovanni yelled. Neesha smirked.
"I'll tell everyone what you REALLY do for a living then!"
"And what is that?" Giovanni asked sardonically.
"You kill people."
"Oh do I?" Giovanni put his hands on his hips. Mewtwo stuffed his mouth with cheese popcorn and nodded. He looked at Giovanni, who was glaring at him, and Mewtwo suddenly became more interested in the movie again, avoiding Giovanni's deadly glare.
"What are you poisoning her mind with?" Giovanni asked. A few moments of silence went by. Mewtwo glanced back at him.
"Oh, you're talking to me?" Mewtwo asked, sounding innocent. Gio rolled his eyes.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Parent/Teacher Night (in another sense of the words)
Giovanni threw Neesha over his shoulder as if she was a sack of potatoes and carried her into her school. She kicked, but didn't make a sound. Mewtwo, who had transformed himself into a human being (age 8), with bright purple hair, and an incredible posture for such a kid, was walking next to Giovanni.
"Don't you think a body bag and some suspicious looking gangsters might have been less noticeable?" Mewtwo said sarcastically.
"Hey, you go in that school talking like that and they might dub you a prodigy," Giovanni said sarcastically.
"Hey, you go in that school talking like that and they might put you on the special education program," Mewtwo said snidely. Neesha broke out laughing. Giovanni rolled his eyes again.
The school was so bright, Giovanni squinted his eyes. He was too used to the dim light of his underground criminal organization, and the lighting there was very different. Halogen bulbs every four feet made things very different. Giovanni felt like a misplaced vampire on a sunny day having a picnic with a preacher. Mewtwo's eyes adjusted quickly, as did Neesha's.
The three sat outside of Neesha's classroom for a few minutes, waiting for the parents who were currently talking to the teacher to be done. Giovanni tapped his foot impatiently. Neesha obnoxiously chewed some gum, and Mewtwo seemed to be meditating.
"Hey, shouldn't we give you a human name while you're like this?" Giovanni asked Mewtwo.
"I suppose that would seem logical. I guess I just assumed you'd call me slave being instead of just giving me a name," Mewtwo said with a smirk. Giovanni smacked the back of his head.
"Pib squeak kids don't talk to mob bosses like that," Giovanni made his point. Mewtwo held his head.
"Mortal men don't poke at rattle snakes' mouths either!" Mewtwo winced. "I may look small but I'm not packin' tiny." Giovanni sat in silence.
"How about Giovanni Junior?" Giovanni smiled.
"Hell no! I'm not getting named after you! I'll kiss Barbara Streisand before I use your filthy name!" Mewtwo coughed.
Giovanni noticed a blonde woman out of the corner of his eye. She seemed to be dressed like a stereotypical teacher, but . . . She was beautiful. Giovanni's mouth dropped and he stood up. Neesha grabbed the edge of his coat.
"No."
"But, she- . . . She's beautiful," Giovanni sighed.
"But that's my music teacher! That's just wrong! I don't want a music teacher for a mom!" Neesha pouted.
"Who said I was going to marry her! I'm just going to . . . Eh . . . Invite her over for a party," Giovanni covered up his near stumble of the tongue. But something rather disturbing came out of Neesha's mouth then.
"Like a party in your pants?" She asked naively. She had heard the term before. Giovanni glared at her.
"Damn you Mewtwo," Giovanni spat. Mewtwo suppressed his laughter. Giovanni walked quickly towards the woman. Neesha and Mewtwo stayed where they were.
"Hello. I just wanted to let you know that I'm . . . in love," Giovanni wondered what made him use that terminology. He looked around as if that wasn't what he wanted to say. Oh no. . .
"Oh, um . . . I have to go," She inched away.
"Wait! I think I like your hair! And your butt! Please come to my party in my pants!" Giovanni gasped at what he just said and covered his mouth. He knew it. Mewtwo was controlling his mind! AGAIN! He could faintly hear Neesha and Mewtwo giggling.
"Ah!" Giovanni covered his mouth and stumble back to his seat in the hall next to Mewtwo and Neesha. Mewtwo finally releases him and Giovanni gasped for air.
"I HATE YOU, BRAT!" Giovanni choked Mewtwo and shook him back and forth. Other parents stared in wonder. Neesha's teacher and some parents came out, only to see some poor small, innocent boy being strangled by his drunk father. Giovanni immediately stopped, and coughed. Mewtwo fell over. Neesha smiled innocently.
"Hi." Giovanni twiddled his thumbs.
-.-.-.-.-.-
Nothing Unusual
Ms. Hagarpeprotski was a cross woman, never married, and very wrinkly. Neesha was particularly not-so-fond of this woman. She smoked while teaching, she left the toilet seat up, and she spat when she talked. Not that Neesha wasn't used to that from her father, but going to school, you'd except a break from that. In fact, not much was different from her home and the classroom. Ms. Hagarpeprotski and her father were pretty much the same person. Neesha slouched in her chair, giving her teacher an evil eye that her father had taught her. It wasn't quite intimidating yet (she was too cute for that), but it was a bit demeaning for a small child to give you that look of hatred. Giovanni sat with his hands on the table, looking at Neesha's current grades. Mewtwo was still trying to regain his previous fervor.
"Well, her grades seem to be okay," Giovanni looked at her report card. Everything was mostly B's, with one C and one A.
"They would seem that way. . . But I have a nagging suspicion that she has been cheating on her tests," Ms. Hagarpeprotski nodded to herself. Neesha curled her lip and glared harder. Giovanni shot Neesha a look.
"Do you have any proof that she has been cheating?" Giovanni asked.
"I catch her looking over her partner's paper! What more proof do I need?" She exclaimed.
"I told you I was reaching over to get my pencil that Sam threw on the ground! I wasn't cheating, you fat lard!" Neesha stood up and stomped out of the room.
"Woah!" Giovanni was shocked.
"Did you see what she calls me! She has no respect for her elders!" Ms. Hagarpeprotski yelled.
"Elderly. . . .," Mewtwo defended Neesha. Giovanni snickered a little too loudly. And there was hell to pay.
Giovanni, Mewtwo, and Neesha sat hap heartedly in the principal's office. The principal, Mr. Waffler, sat across from the three.
"Insulting one of my staff members is not a very respectable way to present yourselves," He started. Neesha decided now was a good time to drift off into la-la land. She imagined she was a unicorn, prancing around in a green pasture. Mewtwo was there with her, picking daisies and shooting pool. Neesha broke from her dream state only to find her principal and her father on the floor, biting each other, kicking, and punching. Mewtwo was on top of Giovanni, trying to pry him off of Mr. Waffler. Neesha sighed and played with a paper weight.
-.-.-.-.-.-
A/N: It's weird that I haven't updated this in a while. I had this chapter written for months but forgot about it. Oops. Been too busy in Artemis Fowl, Harry Potter, and Kingdom Hearts fandom. Sorry about that everyone. Other than this, it will be very unlikely to see me anywhere else in Poke fandom besides Waking Up In A Strange Bed and MAYBE a fic by my friend Fuhrer Allie. She's writing a pokemon satire adventure that involves me in a small way. I'm the main rival, a rocket member trying to actually be accepted INTO Team Rocket. I'm a poser. And like Jesse and James, I have one goal- To defeat Allie and Emi in their pokemon training! Maybe then the Boss will recognize me as a human being! And then I'll work my way (slowly) up the ranks until I get a desk job at his office. And then I can use my feminine wiles to give him a nosebleed. And then he'll throw up and start drinking again.
Yes, it was a very bad week to stop sniffing glue, readers.