Chapter 1-Miss You
Ginny was sitting on her bed, feeling oddly left out. She had woken early in the morning to the sounds of birdsong, and the sun was shining spectacularly from a bright blue sky. In spite of all this, Ginny found herself in a black mood.
Looking up on her beautiful white dress, she sighed. It was still hanging on the door, looking as fresh and untouched as the day it had been brought home from the shop, even though the wedding started in less than half an hour. Ginny hadn't even washed her hair yet, and she knew she was in a terrible hurry. In spite of this, she couldn't make herself get off her bed.
She looked away from the dress at long last, unwilling to get dressed, not wanting to move at all. The bed was more comfortable than she could ever remember it being, and Ginny just wanted to sit a little longer, just five minutes more. She didn't want to leave the room, didn't want to have to go downstairs to meet relatives she hadn't seen since she was three, and who still thought of her as the little Weasley girl.
In some ways, she could understand them; she was, after all, the only girl to be born into the Weasley clan for quite some time. That didn't change the fact that she was a grown woman, and that she had done things that would make her Great Aunt Muriel faint. Some of the things she had done might even make Fred and George blush. The thought of something as impossible as her twin brothers blushing made Ginny double over laughing. Another glance at the dress sobered her up.
She just wanted to stay in there, in her room, all alone. Ginny knew it was impossible, but that didn't make things any easier. She knew that she would be late if she didn't dress soon, but she didn't really care about it. Let the others think what they wanted to; she had never been one to care much for what others believed anyway. This wasn't the day to be difficult, though; others were supposed to be at the centre of the attention.
Sighing, Ginny go to her feet and approached the dress. It was an honour to be asked to be a bridesmaid, but the part about having to talk to people she hadn't met or couldn't remember meeting about nothing at all galled her. It was a complete waste of time and energy, missing moments that would never come back. She didn't like it, and couldn't make herself pretend to.
Harry was coming too, which didn't improve things. In spite of all her efforts, he had managed to ignore her completely since Dumbledore's funeral. She understood his reasons for behaving as he did, but that didn't mean she had to agree. Being a hero with deadly enemies didn't mean that you should shut yourself away from the world.
And even now, with the deadliest of those enemies out of the way, Harry bloody Potter would probably continue to act as though she was air. Ginny couldn't make herself treat him the same way. She had promised herself to keep trying to make contact with him, and Ginevra Molly Weasley always kept her promises. Always.
The warm, reassuring hand of her mother had a firm grip of her shoulder as the pair of them entered the Burrow. This year, it had finally been her turn to enter Hogwarts. She had left her home, her parents, everything she knew behind in order to enter the Wizarding School at long last. She was going to be better than any of her brothers had been before her, she was going to meet new people, learn to do magic and, most of all, she was going to see Harry Potter again. The future had looked bright and happy. And then, everything had gone horribly wrong.
She hadn't meant to hurt all those people. Ginny couldn't even remember doing anything to harm them at all, but she had every reason to think that it had been all her fault. The ink on her robes, the feathers in her hair. Even with all these signs, she hadn't gone to Professor Dumbledore to turn herself in.
She had been told that she had been fooled by He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, fooled by Lord Voldemort, but she didn't know what to believe. Ginny had chosen the wrong person to trust, had poured out her deepest secret to someone she thought was an invisible friend, someone she could carry around in her pocket. If that was what not listening to her parents would do, she was going to obey their every command from now on.
She couldn't admit it to anybody, but the worst part about this year hadn't been hurting all those people. It wasn't even discovering that her best friend was a traitor, someone who had only used her for his own ends. The worst thing was that Harry Potter hadn't seemed to notice her at all.
Sure, he'd rescued her from the Camber of Secrets, facing unknown dreads and problems, but he hadn't gone down there to save her. He had gone down to save his best friend's little sister, a fellow Gryffindor, just a face in the crowd. It didn't matter to Harry that it was Ginny Weasley that was down there; he would have gone after any of the other Hogwarts students as well.
It would change, she promised herself. Ginny was going to make Harry Potter see her as something else than the youngest Weasley sibling; he was going to see her as a separate person. She swore to herself that before leaving Hogwarts, Harry Potter would know her and love her. No matter how long it took, or what she had to do. Ginny Weasley was going to be able to call Harry Potter her boyfriend.
Ginny looked out the window, trying to prolong her stay in the room by a few more moments. The Burrow's usually bad-cared-for garden was looking incredible, with white lilies everywhere. Someone had even made an enormous shrubbery shaped as a heart of the flowers. The formal white of a magical wedding covered every surface in sight, sending the traditional wishes of a happy marriage for the newlyweds. Nearly every magical family in Great Britain must have sent something white to the Burrow; the Weasleys had always been a fairly popular family, but the last few years events had made them even more so.
Ginny half-wished the flowers hadn't been there. Lilies made her think of funerals, not weddings, and she had been to enough funerals to last two lifetimes the past years. Orchids were happier flowers, and were far more connected to weddings than lilies would ever be. They suited the Weasley clan's way of living better, too. And besides, orchids smelled better than lilies.
Still staring emptily at the garden, something registered the arrival of the first guest. Ginny gave a start when she realized who it was, and tore away from the window. If Harry had arrived already, she really had to hurry up and get dressed.
"I can't be that late, Harry's just probably arrived early, that's all," she muttered feverishly to herself, and jumped into her dress. "He always liked to be on time for things." She didn't care to look into the mirror before she grabbed her hairbrush and started to comb her hair furiously. "He's probably afraid to arrive too late and steal the spotlight." When it shone like a glowing sunset, she started to do her make-up. "As afraid of being recognized as always, I suppose." After putting on some mascara and lip-gloss, Ginny looked at herself in the mirror. "The bastard."
Taking a closer look at herself in the mirror, Ginny realized how her dress looked for the first time. It had a silky fabric in a warm, creamy colour, and special-made sandals to match. The fabric covered her all the way to her ankle, but it had a long split she knew her mother would hate. With thin straps, her shoulders were as good as bare. A lone ruby shone between her breasts, a perfect mirror of Ginny's hair.
"You look great, love, but you might want to watch your language out there. We don't want anyone to faint, now do we?" the mirror said, and she smiled at it, knowing it was right. Some of her older relatives were very strict when it came to language. Breathing as if preparing herself for a major battle, Ginny got ready to get into the garden and chat people up.
The trip down from her room to the garden wasn't very long, but Ginny had to go through the kitchen in order to get out of the house. Unwilling to face her mother's vague, yet disapproving frown, she got out as fast as she could. As she walked out of the door, she crashed into a tall, dark man.
"Hello, Ginny! Long time, eh?" he said, flashing her a row of perfectly white teeth. Ginny dimly noticed that he was wearing the tie clasp she had given him for Christmas in her fifth year, not having any idea of what the proper gift would be and having complete gits for brothers.
"Oh, hi, Dean!" she answered politely, screwing her face into what she hoped would pass for a friendly smile. The thought of having to do small-talk with an ex-boyfriend at her brother's wedding almost made her turn around and march straight back to her room. Knowing that doing so would tear her fragile family apart once again, Ginny tried to be nice.
"Yes, you are right, a long time indeed. It's been quite a lot going on, you know, with the war and all. So... how are things?" she asked, trying to make her voice light and interested. Dean had never really known her all that well, so she could even get away with it. Ginny only hoped that he didn't want to do anything more than have a small chat for old times sake.
"Oh, you know…" he said, giving her a small smile. "A lot of the same things that are going on in other people's lives, school and loans and the like. I really like the Muggle Relations School I got in to, it's all very interesting.
"But the important thing here is, how are things for you?" he said, and started to move a bit closer. Ginny didn't really think that much about it before he started toying with her hair. He'd always done that in the time they were going out, and it was a clear sign; Dean obviously wanted something other than just a chat about days passed.
"Err, Dean, listen…" she started, but reconsidered what she had been going to say. After all, it had been her who dumped him, and she knew it had broken his heart. Plus, Dean was never one to let go of something once he thought he had it within reach, and it would take her forever to get away from him. Patience had never been one of Ginny's virtues.
Instead of speaking her mind, she said: "I've got to run right now, bridesmaid's duties, you know." Taking her breath after a tiny giggle, Ginny continued. "Or maybe you don't. Well, enjoy the party."
Without waiting to hear Dean's reply, Ginny hurried away from him. She walked briskly, but with a wide and happy smile plastered across her face, looking for the entire world like a busy and dutiful bridesmaid. In reality, she was looking around; trying to spot someone she knew and would talk to her like a grown human being.
After dodging two Aunts, a Grand Uncle and an unknown number of tiny nieces and cousins wanting to take a look at her dress, Ginny had almost given up. Then, with a sigh of relief, she realised that she was practically standing next to Ron. Turning slightly, she opened her mouth to talk to him.
"Hey!" she said, happy to have a good excuse to ignore the small girls around her feet. Getting to talk to someone around her own age was a plus as well, of course. "Ron, what is Dean doing here?" she asked sweetly before Ron got the chance to say anything at all.
"Is he here? Honestly, Gin, I didn't know." He really did look quite startled, so he must be telling the truth. Ron seemed to be focusing on their conversation, but his eyes were wandering around the room, looking for something. With the interest he was showing, it was either the buffet or Hermione. "But hey, it's not my wedding, why don't you go and ask Percy? He's just over there. The pathetic bastard," he added in an undertone.
"I'll just pretend I didn't hear that last part." He was looking quite desperately by now. Hermione, then. He'd never given food the look he was wearing now. "But believe me, I think the same thing." Ginny finished. Giving her brother an encouraging pat on the shoulder, she started to walk towards Percy. Somehow, she already regretted going to talk with him. Shrugging it off, she took the time to look properly at her brother. The husband-to-be.
She had to admit Percy looked great in his new suit. Knowing her older brother like only a sister could, she understood that he had been trying to get fit for the occasion. Probably failing miserably, but the thought was good.
The new suit and the small, but well-intended muscles wasn't the bigger change in the man in from of her. Comparing with the boy who left them what seemed like so long ago, Percy was glowing. Meeting the right person had really changed something in him, most of it for the better. He was really happy, she realized, and would do great in his marriage. For once, Percy had done something the entire family liked and approved of.
"Hey, Percy!" she said, and walked over to him. His head snapped in her direction, and then he turned back to stare down the aisle once again. He seemed a bit frightened, but he had no reason to be so. His fiancé would never leave him. "Nervous?" she added, with a little smile.
"Of course not. What would make you ask such a ridiculous thing?" when Percy caught the knowing glint in Ginny's eyes, he sighed. "Or, maybe a little... I wish Lee would come soon, though. How about you?" he answered, while tipping on his toes in search for his soon-to-be husband. It was sweet, really, Ginny thought.
"Calm down, Perce, you know that Lee would never leave you. He's too bright to do anything as foolish as that," she said. Feeling overcome by a swirl of fondness of her brother, Ginny hugged him tightly.
"Oh, Ginny, I've been meaning to tell you," Percy said when the hug finally ended. "Lee wanted Dean to come; I hope you're all right with that?"
Ginny didn't want to lie to her brother on his wedding day. "The wedding's about to start. Good luck!" she said instead of answering his question, before leaving to get to her place. It was adorable the way her older brother behaved towards his boyfriend, not being able to deny him anything. They had only been going out for a year, but she knew they were made for each other. Even Fred and George admitted that they fitted annoyingly well together and that said something.
Neither Lee nor Percy had told anyone about them being gay before they started dating, so it came as a shock to all of them. The only person who hadn't been confused in the beginning was Luna. Nobody quite understood how she had done it, but she had seen what everybody else was blind to; Percy and Lee were hopelessly in love with each other, and didn't even know it themselves.
Thanks to Luna, they soon realised that the feelings were mutual. She set them up, in a fashion, to meet. Being Luna, she didn't send them to somewhere where normal couples would go, but rather locked them into the basement of the Quibbler until they both confessed. She had been forgiven immediately, and was Ginny's fellow bridesmaid.
The sound of church bells ripped Ginny out of her thoughts. –How typically Lee that is, she thought to herself. –I'll bet anything Fred and George is back there with instant-wedding-powder or something like that. Smiling to herself, she linked arms with Luna and walked gracefully up the aisle to join Percy. He didn't notice them; all his attention was focused on the black man who was walking towards them at that moment. She noticed Lee was carrying a bouquet of lilies, either to honour the old tradition of throwing it away or to annoy the twins. Probably a combination of the two.
Lee grinned at Percy and, taking each other lovingly by the hands, they turned to face the vicar. Ginny gasped for breath when she figured out who it was. Harry was standing there, looking a bit out of his place, but it fitted the surroundings perfectly in an odd kind of way. Ginny turned her face away from him as he started the ceremony.
She wasn't supposed to feel this way anymore. Ginevra Molly Weasley was supposed to be over Harry Potter, supposed to have moved on, to have gotten over her childhood crush at last. So why did her heart skip a beat when she heard him speak, and why did her stomach perform all sorts of gymnastic exercises when she looked at him?
"… and with that, I pronounce you husband and… well, husband." Harry finished, and Percy and Lee kissed each other. "Hey, I'm supposed to say you can do that!" he said with a laugh, before stepping down and joining Ron and Hermione in their corner of the room.
Percy and Lee grinned at each other and started walking towards their certified Binder. The next part of the marriage rituals were to be preformed in private, as they always were. Ginny knew what Percy and Lee were going to do, but she didn't know what it implied. True Love Proven, the Exchanging of Rings and the Binding of Magic were known concepts to her, but she couldn't imagine how they were preformed, or their influence on the persons involved
Ginny went to join her mother, who was standing alone in a corner. In earlier days, Molly Weasley would have been surrounded by people, or at least talking to some of the guests. Now, a glum air of rejection hung around her.
"Hello, mum! Everything all right?" she asked in a half-happy, half-worried voice. Her mother had changed a lot since her father had died, and none of the changes had been for the better.
"Oh, of course Ginny dear. But why don't you go join Hermione and the rest of them? I've got a lot on my mind right now, and I'm afraid I'll be dreadfully boring to talk to."
Sighting, Ginny did as her mother had told her to. She had expected it to happen; Molly Weasley didn't talk much any longer. She pretended to be all right, but Ginny could tell that she still missed her husband, and still cried at night when she tough nobody could hear her. Ginny didn't understand her own mother any longer.
Her father's death had been the main reason she and the rest of the family were allowed to come to the wedding. They had made up with Percy, but not all had been willing to forgive and forget. Ginny knew she could never forgive the way he had treated them in her forth and fifth year, and neither could Ron. The twins seemed to have stopped thinking about it. At least Percy and Bill had made up before Bill and Fleur had been killed. Their one-year-old daughter, Amelia, now lived with Charlie and Gabrielle.
Coming back to the present, Ginny realized that both Dean and Hermione were waving for her to come over. Pretending she didn't see Dean, she walked over to her best friend with a grin on her face.
"You look so good! How are you?" Ginny said gleefully when they had stopped hugging each other.
"I'm good, as good as always. How about you?"
"Oh, you know…" she said, and shrugged. When she saw the look in Hermione's eyes, she stopped talking. "My dumb brother still hasn't realized, has he?"
Hermione opened her mouth to say something, but closed it immediately when a tall, red-haired boy came over. In stead, she sent Ginny an ironic smile. Apparently, Ron was ignorant as ever.
"Well, there you are!" Ron said gleefully. "We've been looking all over for the two of you, and you're hiding in a corner?"
"Oh, no, you poor things", Hermione said sarcastically. "Of course we should have placed ourselves right in the centre of the room, so you two could find us any time you wanted. Why didn't you think of that Ginny?"
For a moment Ginny didn't know how or what to answer. "Gee, I forgot! Terribly sorry." She managed to say before the silence became obvious to anyone else. She did not care to pay any attention to what Ron said next. Ginny was to busy looking at the boy next to him.
Harry hadn't changed much since last time she saw him. He looked older, and had a new scar on his chin, but he still looked like her Harry. The only thing that had really changed about his was his eyes. They were as brilliantly green as ever, but they had a constant impression of wariness about them. Harry looked as though he expected to be attacked any moment, but it didn't frighten Ginny. Quite the opposite; it made her want to embrace him and make him feel safe again.
-Ginevra Molly Weasley, what on earth do you think you're doing? she said angry to herself. –You don't want to be anything to Harry but a friend. He doesn't want you to be anything but a friend either, so that's just perfect and the way it's going to be.
"Well well, look who's here!" Deans voice said, warm and full of intentions. He gave her a warm and flirting smile, and grabbed her had. "You don't mind if I steal her a little while, do you?" he said to Ron and dragged her away before anybody could answer. Ginny could see Harry giving Hermione a look she didn't quite understand before Dean had led her behind the house and out of sight of everybody else.
Jerking her hand away, she stared at him for a moment. "Err, Dean, why did you take me here?" Ginny said, her voice half angry, half curious. She had a vague idea about why he had taken her away from her friends; she just wanted to hear it from Dean's mouth.
Dean didn't answer. The silence stretched while he put his hand beneath her chin and stroked her hair, while he looked deeply into her eyes and smiled nervously. Then, he leant in and kissed her. Old feelings and memories raced through Ginny's brain, slowing her reactions nearly to a halt. Before she had the chance to react, Dean let go of her. Someone had surprised them.
"Harry!" she heard Dean's voice say, but Ginny couldn't see him anywhere. Harry must have left the second he realised he had been spotted. She turned around and kicked the nearest wall. The only result was a pulsating pain in her toes.
"Is anything wrong, dear?" Dean said in an insecure voice. She turned around to face him, searching for his eyes with her own. When they had established eye contact, Dean flinched back. He had never been able to stand it when she was angry with him. The coward.
"Yes, as a matter of fact, there is!" Ginny sneered back. "Why did you kiss me? You know we're over; I broke up with you when we were still in Hogwarts. We haven't spoken for over a year, and that was only very briefly. And don't call me dear, I'm not your girlfriend!" With that, she walked away to her room and sat down to cry.
After some time, Ginny heard a soft knock on the door. "Ginny, it's only me," Hermione's voice said calmly from the door. Ginny opened it, and flung herself into Hermione's arms before she said anything.
"So, so" Hermione whispered soothingly. "It can't be that bad! Tell me what's wrong."
"Everything" Ginny said between sobs. Somewhere deep down, she knew that she was overreacting, but she couldn't stop herself. "Everything's wrong!" she whispered and retold the story about Dean kissing her and Harry finding them in the back yard.
"And now" she finished, "Harry must think I'm going out with Dean again, and I don't, I don't love Dean, and I'm acting like a fourteen-year-old with a bruised heart, but I can't help myself, I don't know what else to do. I… "
"You still love Harry." Hermione finished for her, stating the obvious. "You just pretend you don't. Stop doing that, it only harms you in the end." She looked firmly into Ginny's eyes. "Pull yourself together now, and join me outside. You've got a lovely dress, you are going to fix yourself up again and look absolutely brilliant. Don't mope around in here, it's your brother's wedding!" With those words, Ginny was left on her own again.
For a while, Ginny didn't move, lost in her own thoughts. Hermione was somewhat right; Ginny still had feelings for Harry. But love? Perhaps later, but not now. Love was too great a word to describe her feelings for him.
But they had been so good once. He had made her feel loved and wanted, made her laugh and eventually cry. She still got butterflies in her stomach from looking at him, so perhaps it was worth giving it another shot.
When she came back to the garden, she could not find Hermione anywhere and Ron was nowhere to be seen. Maybe they both had finally figured out that their feelings for each other were mutual, and gone off snogging. She somehow doubted it, knowing how her brother took hints. Instead, she went over to talk with Harry, realizing they hadn't said a word to each other the whole evening.
"Hello, Harry." she said, keeping her voice as casual as possible. She didn't want to bring up the kiss with Dean, as it would only make her angry. For a second, Ginny silently begged for Harry to talk to her about something completely boring.
"Oh, hello, Ginny." Harry answered at long last, taking care not to look at her even though he was speaking normal. Another peculiar pause and he finally continued speaking. "Lost Dean, have you?"
She was a little shocked that he could behave like that. That sort of childish behaviour was usually left for her brother. "As a matter of fact, he's the one who lost me." She said, a little offended by the way Harry had addressed her. When he gave a doubtful snort, Ginny flared up at once.
"Why do you behave like such a baby? When I say that I left Dean and not the other way around, why don't you just believe me? And why do you even care if I'm going out with Dean or anybody else? Last time I checked, we were just friends, something you ought to know, since you're the one who broke up with me!" She spun around on her heel and marched away, leaving Harry looking a little shocked.