WARNING: You are now entering a ship zone.
Thanks to my beta reader, NebbyJen (though I claim credit for all mistakes).

HEARTFELT LIES

Simon knew he couldn't tell her. If he told her, she would stay. She wouldn't even consider any other option. Her loyalty was one of the things he admired most about her, but it could also be a real pain in the ass sometimes. Atlantis was an adventure of a lifetime and he couldn't deny her that, even though he wanted her to stay and help him fight this. If she left now, she would lose her influence and momentum. They'd give command of Atlantis to someone else. He couldn't--no, he wouldn't ask her to give all that up. He knew she would be furious he made the decision without her--if she ever found out.

There were rumors, she had told him. Talk of replacing her with a military commander. If they replaced her, she would stay. Fate would have made the decision for them both. So he bided his time. He sent in the applications and other paperwork at her encouragement, even included the records from his last check-up--there being nothing in them to make anyone suspect. Of course, Stargate Command would insist on full medical work ups on all personnel before they were accepted for Atlantis. He would never pass those. He also didn't sign the contract, hoping that maybe he would be weeded out early in the selection process without her knowledge as to the reason, knowing she wouldn't fight her own people on their decisions regardless of her personal feelings.

He rescheduled his treatments so that he wouldn't be sick while she was home. He hadn't lost much hair yet and had kept it longer to better hide the patchy areas. Doctors undergoing cancer treatments didn't tend to instill confidence in their patients either so it served both purposes. Elizabeth remarked on his weight loss but he told her he was trying a new vegetarian diet and she had accepted it without further inquiry. He made a point of doing the cooking while she was home to further allay any suspicions. She was spending most of her time and energy at the SGC anyway, preparing for her return to Atlantis, and fighting the bureaucracy whenever possible to make sure things worked out the way she knew they needed to.

He was so proud of her. How she had refused to back down and instead fought Caldwell and Landry every step of the way. She had always been strong before, but now, there was something more. Atlantis had changed her in subtle ways. He loved to watch the sparkle in her eyes when she talked about it. The excitement practically radiated off her. He wanted nothing more than to go and share that experience with her, but that wasn't a possibility. Not now. Maybe later though, if he beat this. The odds were in his favor. Slightly.

In the end, the choice was left to him after all. If you could call it a choice. He knew he'd never forgive himself if she stayed because of him. So he worked out a lie. A foolproof way to make sure she felt free to go, and one where she wouldn't probe too deeply and discover the lie for what it was.

"I met someone."

The look on her face broke his heart, but he held firm. If he survived, he could explain it all to her later. She might forgive him. She might not. There was only one thing that he did know for certain, and that was that Atlantis was where she belonged.

END

Yes, I'm still holding out for Simon/Weir and yes, I know I'm delusional. It's my little world and I like it here! I now return you to the ship-free zone.