WARNING: YAOI…Sasuke/Naruto, possible Iruka/Kakashi. Swearing and some sexual references (No graphics… I'd blush too much). Also this is set in modern times in Chicago… A city in the US. There will some characters here that don't exist in "NARUTO by Masashi Kishimoto". Don't like it don't read it. I hope you enjoy it anyways.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Naruto

WARPED

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

Sasuke let out a laugh. The beautiful blond was so… so, so, so timid and kind. But, hell, he really didn't want to go back to that bar-zoo. Damn it, how could anyone work their? It was completely beyond him… but it did fit this impish Naruto that he was learning to love.

Killers and Lovers

(Chapter 3)

Sasuke had returned to the underground. He rested his throbbing head against the bar counter. What was he thinking when he decided his hangover deserved more alcohol. He was an idiot. His friend, Kiba, stood behind the bar counter, he looked worse off than Sasuke. His eyes were all puffy as if he had been crying.

The bar was unusually empty this evening. The pink neon sign flashed in the window, proclaiming this god forsaken shit hole was a bar. However, this bar did have some good qualities. This was an information center, where cash could buy almost anything.

Kiba started to sniffle again, finally Sasuke let his icy mask slip and asked Kiba what was wrong "God damned bitch of a girlfriend left me 'cause she said she thinks I'm fucking nuts. Called me fucking ass. Damn that ass hole. She doesn't know when to quit and she nearly kicked poor Akamaru." Sasuke sighed patted Kiba of the shoulder sympathetically.

"That's why my friend.. You should step onto the all boys team." Sasuke laughed at Kiba's uneasy expression.

"Anyways… Sasuke, what are you looking for today."

"I'm looking for some god damned information on one NIGHT CRAWLER."

"Well, that's not a surprise. People been asking me all day, however I'll give you the prize. You see the lazy pony tailed guy over there," Kiba indicated a lone teenager sleeping spread eagle on a corner table, " his name is Shikamaru, he's an A class hacker and a fucking library. He'll have your answers."

"What breed is he?" Asked Sasuke.

"None, he's human. But he says being with humans is too troublesome and besides the FBI is looking for that fucker. " Sasuke lifted an eyebrow. It wasn't often that pure human was allowed in the underground. The kid must be a real asset.

Sasuke made his way over to the boy and cleared his throat. The boy, opened one eye and then promptly closed it "How can I help you?" he asked. His presence seemed to scream 'oh… this is far to troublesome.'

Sasuke who was an expert at analyzing human postures smiled before saying "I'm looking for some information of the Night Crawler. Kiba there," Sasuke indicated the bartender, "said you might be of some help."

Shikamaru sat up and sighed.

He gave Kiba a disappointed look before reeling off, "The night crawler is named Uzumaki Naruto, his mother was brutally murdered when he was only three by an unknown perpetrator. His father skipped town before he was born. Raised by a family of werewolves, he's currently residing with his adoptive brother Gaara." Shikamaru took a deep breath.

He continued "Gaara is a notorious criminal, who accidentally slaughtered three humans. He was sentenced to three years in the underground prison. And his custody was recently turned over to Naruto. He will remain in Naruto's care for four more months. However considering their close relationship, its likely they will remain together after those initial four months. Also Gaara is an infamous pervert and sex addict."

Shikamaru took another deep breath, "according to some of my sources Naruto is currently wanted by the Demon society. It is uncertain as to the reason. However, several attempts on his life have been made, which were promptly followed by attempted kidnappings. From the frequency I can only deduce that the assassination attempt are some sort of tests. Currently this is the only information I possess… so please go away."

Sasuke blinked… fuck this boy was really a walking talking library. "Please go away." Shikamaru said again laying back down. Sasuke complied and went over to the bar to finish his drink and contemplate the information he had gathered.

Sasuke's heart had almost stopped when he had heard that there had been attempts made on Naruto's life, but was relieved that they had all failed. However there was one question, he'd never ask Naruto… it was 'how. How did you defend yourself.' God Naruto must be pretty powerful.

NARUTO

It was late at night when Naruto heard the barely audible sound of someone unlocking his door. It would've been impossible for anyone else to hear the slight click of the key in the lock, but Naruto's heritage and his own unique abilities paid off. Naruto grabbed the knife under his pillow and turned slightly over as if he was a restless sleeper. Naruto made a bunch of hand signal under his body. The door to his bedroom slowly open and before he could move a round of bullets pierced his body.

Unfortunately for his would be killer. That wasn't Naruto's real body. It lay there bleeding and the assassin smirked.

If the assassin were took look up at the ceiling at this very moment, he would freeze in shock at seeing Naruto standing on the ceiling. He wasn't clutching to anything, he was just standing there with a terrifying look of bloodlust on his features.

As the assassin turned to go, Naruto let his self fall from the ceiling and flip in the air to land as gracefully as a cat behind the man. Naruto used his superior strength and speed to wrap his arms around the assassin's neck and plunge the knife into the demon's heart. Unlike humans demon's hearts were on the right side of the body and would not die from this simple move. But this move would paralyze their appendages. The only way to really kill a demon was to break it's neck.

The demon fell limply to the ground cursing Naruto as the bleeding bed on the body slowly tuned in to smoke and faded away as did the fake blood.

Gaara then took this opportune moment to burst into Naruto's room yelling "there's an assassin here, there's an assassin here."

"No shit." Naruto said. "Hey Gaara you right on time for the interrogation. I'll leave this one up to you." Naruto said leaning up against the wall as Gaara roughly pulled the demon to his feet and shoved him into a sitting position.

"So where shall we begin? I believe I'll start with you right hand." The demon remained silent as Gaara broke his hand.

Naruto cleared his throat "Gaara, he's paralyzed. He can't feel."

"Damn it, Naruto, you're always ruining the fun. Well then," Gaara said turning to his toy "We'll just get right down to business then." Gaara grabbed the man's crotch and began to squeeze. While Gaara asked "Who sent you?"

"Naruto uncle, Lord Trem of the demons."

"What?" Naruto asked suddenly crossing the distance without anyone being able to follow him. He let his fangs drop and he bit into the man's cheek. "Tell me everything…"

"I… I…" the man began, but before he could say another word, he burst into flames.

"Fuck!" Naruto screamed. "That ass had a detonator this entire time! Fuck!"

Gaara sighed and embraced the angry Naruto stroking his back as the fires lept higher and higher. Naruto calmed down and with a small wave of his hand the fire suddenly disappeared and his teeth resumed their normal appearance.

"God… finally… we were so close to actually getting some answers and I blew it… I should've checked for a detonator." Naruto moaned pulling away from Gaara.

"At least he couldn't bring your secrets back…" Gaara said trying to sound positive. Naruto sank onto his bed and sighed.

"Well… I guess…. Till next time."

SASUKE

Woke up the next morning to a ringing phone. "Fuck! Who is it now?" Sasuke's head hurt.. Oh, he was going to forsaken alcohol from now on.

"Hello is this Mister Uchiha?" Asked a terse voice.

"Yes." Sasuke said.

"This is the underground clean up crew. We managed to recover a charred corpse of a demon from a human morgue… err.. We need your specialties. We are unable to identify the corpse and you being the only local mutant with.. Well you know. We are asking you to come assist us with our investigation."

Sasuke flinched, he hated identifying corpses by touching them, but it couldn't be helped. He was a god damned private detective after all and guy sounded desperate. "Okay… I'll be right there."

"Please arrive as soon as possible. The corpse is slowly disintegrating." The man said before abruptly hanging up the phone. Sasuke sighed before pulling on a pair of discarded pants.

THE CLEAN UP CREWS' STATION

Sasuke was led into a plastic sealed room with the copse suspend above his head. Two forensic scientists stood uneasily above him looking down at the corpse, while also throwing Sasuke suspicious looks. Sasuke sighed. It wasn't like he was going to destroy the corpse… in fact he'd rather not touch it.

The man, who had called him, a werewolf name Smith and the head of his department, frowned unhappily indicating Sasuke to take a latter to reach the corpse. Once on the latter, Sasuke gently touched the corpse with his finger tips.

Suddenly as information flew through his mind he toppled off of the latter and had to be caught by Smith. Sasuke was sweating heavily and he retched almost spilling his guts before saying "the victim was an assassin by the name of Choke… he was careless and was killed. However I was unable to identify is killer."

Sasuke retched again, this time spilling his guts "He was best known for his killing technique with a scalpel…" Sasuke retched again… but didn't throw up. He looked up at a very pale Smith and frowned.

Smith noticed his stared and said quietly "Choke was an A class demon assassin. He's killed over fifty Cleaning Crew and three hundred targets. He is, no was… considered an impossible man to capture. Are you sure there was only one killer?"

"Yes." Sasuke said blankly.

The forensic scientists and Smith paled even more "Now, we're dealing with something with a power beyond our comprehension."

THE END … for now!

Have a nice morning, afternoon or night,

-TK