this has actually been read by my beta so hopefully there sudnt be many mistakes. i already started ch17 so it sudnt b long...if i can finish my script for my course then hopfully by the end of the week!

read...enjoy...review...please

It was dark outside when she woke up and she was vaguely aware of the absence of weight from on top of her. Libby was curled up into a ball, snuggled into Lorelai's side. She was unsure of what to do but soon found her self wide awake and very bored. She carefully climbed off the bed and made her way down stairs. The light from the television was the first thing she noticed, the person watching it was the second. She took a quick glance at the clock on the wall and found it wasn't as late as she had first thought. She quietly stumbled into the kitchen, giving a large sigh she sat down and it wasn't long until Luke joined her. They sat in comfortable silence until Lorelai moved to get herself some water.

The emotional roller coaster mixed with the sudden lack of food and sleep finally caught up with her and it took all her strength to reach out her hand to attempt to steady herself. Her head went light and she couldn't feel her legs, she lost control of every muscle in her body and her breathing rapidly increased, making her vision blur even more.

"Lu-"her knees were the only thing that reached the floor before she was pulled up by Luke. Her breathing was still rapid and it took a while for her to open her eyes again. Luke could safely say they were some of the scariest minutes of his life. "Lorelai….open you eyes….Lorelai" Luke had been shouting her name for a minute and she slowly opened her eyes and was met by Luke's very concerned looking face. He quickly placed her on the floor, with her back securely leaning against the fridge while he grabbed a towel and ran it under the cold tap.

Lorelai flinched as she felt something cold hit her face and she slowly remembered where she was. "wha…" the realization of what had happened hit her and she felt incredibly guilty for letting this happen. "When was the last time you ate anything?" Luke was more than concerned for her and knew she was to busy caring for Libby to look after herself. He lovingly brushed away some hair that had fallen in her face and tilted her chin up to meet his face. "You can't help Libby lf your ill as well"

She smiled slightly and with help from Luke was sitting back at the kitchen table. "Please just eat something" she wasn't hungry, she didn't want anything to eat but Luke wasn't going to listen so she agreed. Luke obviously thought she still had her Gilmore apatite but like a lot of things that had changed when she left Stars Hollow. Luke put a plate in front of her with a cheese burger, fries, salad and a grilled cheese sandwich on it.

Once Lorelai had eaten half of the grilled cheese and the salad she walked upstairs to check on Libby. She didn't feel better but she didn't feel worse and guessed that was a good thing. Luke had left her to eat in peace and was sitting silently on the couch when Lorelai passed him on the way to the stairs. He decided to make himself useful and tidy up after Lorelai and was completely floored when he noticed the untouched burger and fries sitting on the kitchen table. His worries about her had increased dramatically but they were no longer together and he knew if he said anything to her she would just throw it back in his face.

By the time he had cleaned up Lorelai was back down stairs and sitting on the couch, he figured Libby was still asleep. "We can talk now if you want, although I'm not sure how long she will be asleep." Luke made his way to the chair in the corner of the room and sat down. The house was so quiet it was unbearable; neither of them knew what to say, or where to start.

"Do you want to go first or should I, because I honestly thing it's your turn for some home truths." Lorelai was purposefully looking down and was pretty sure Luke was going to tell her to go to hell, but to her surprise he didn't.

"I have a lot of questions but before we start there's something I need to tell you, of rather someone I need to tell you about" Lorelai's heart stopped, her breathing became shallow and her head felt funny. Gulping down a breath she composed herself to hear her worst fears he's moved on. "The reason I finished things between us was because….I found out I had a daughter" once Lorelai had finally calmed down she could actually concentrate on what Luke had just said. He has a daughter? She sat there trying to put her thoughts into coherent sentences but only managed to pull off a rather impressive impression of a fish.

"Her moms name is Anna and we only had a brief relationship, it was a mutual thing that we broke up. She found out she was pregnant and thought I would freak out so she kept April from me, that's her name. She's so smart sometimes she scares me, she's 13 and when I found out I panicked, I didn't know how to handle it. I didn't want to let you down and I couldn't push April away so I did the only think I could think to do. Even if it killed me to do it." He didn't want to look at her, he knew she was starring at him in disbelief and it made his stomach turn to think he was hurting her.

"That's the thing Luke, it didn't kill you…. it almost killed me" she couldn't believe Luke would hide something like that from her. How am I going to trust him after this? "I loved you, how would I have been disappointed? If you hadn't noticed I had a kid at 16, I'm no stranger to disappointment and I'm certainly not a hypocrite. Did you honestly think that I wouldn't be there for you?"

"I don't know what I thought. Now I'm even more unsure, do you have any idea how guilty I feel knowing that you tried to kill yourself because of me?" Lorelai looked away; she knew this was coming and that she had to face the consequences of her actions. She looked up and did the best she could to explain to him what happened.

"I know you must feel guilty and that you're hurt but just stop and think about what I went through. You left me….I loved you with all my heart, you were my life. With the exception of Rory I had never loved someone so entirely. I didn't realize I had become that girl who needs a man in her life to make things complete …….until I lost you. Not just you but Rory the one constant thing in my life….do you remember what I said at her birthday? I said without her I would have noting to get up for in the morning…well I didn't actually think it was true. I had a huge void and noting could touch it. I was….empty. I couldn't do anything I could barely look after myself. It hurt to even breathe. I couldn't cry to even let the pain out. I was trapped and constantly surrounded by never ending nothingness. It got to the point where I realized I was depressed but it was too late. I was to far gone to care what you would think, or even care if you missed me. After I found out about Libby I realized I had to get help, I needed to be strong for my baby, for myself. I wanted to tell you but I didn't want us to be together just because of Libby. I didn't want us to be a responsibility you tolerated because you were to proud not to. I wanted you to be with me because you loved me not just because of the thing inside me."

The room went silent for what felt like a very long time, half way though her explanation Lorelai had continued to pace the room in an effort to avoid Luke's gaze. The silence was broken suddenly by Lorelai as she continued to explain her actions.

"I don't know if you understand or if that even made sense but it wasn't just you that your secret hurt, I was in that relationship as well. I'm just sorry for everything; I know I didn't do things well."

"I'm glad you didn't leave it so late….I think I should go I have to open in the morning….if its ok I will stop by tomorrow with more food…..oh I noticed earlier that you didn't eat your usual six portions of food and thought that maybe something was wro…"

"No…. I just don't eat as much as I used to, I was all Libby had and if something happened then Libby would have been on her own."

"Wow!..." he pulled him self up from the chair and headed towards the door, turning back for a second he gathered up enough courage to say a few of the things that had been floating around his head during the last few days. "I'm sorry… for thinking you cheated on me and for second guessing you with Libby earlier" he continued towards the door not giving Lorelai a chance to reply when he spoke again. "I do still love you, I never stopped."