My Girl – SNL
"A guy telling us about his girl problems?" Emerald asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Lame." Mercury commented boredly.
"Give it a chance," Jaune suggested "The last one's sound like something normal but they were awesome to watch and I bet this one is too."
"He's not wrong." Cinder said with a shrug.
"Fine, show us some relationship drama." Roman said with a sigh.
"I never said this would be dramatic." Cosmo said with a grin "Its actually gonna be pretty funny."
"Mr. Jacques funny?" Jacques asked with a smirk.
Cosmo shrugged "Depends on you."
"Well the last one was hilarious so I don't doubt that this one will be funny too." Nora said with a grin.
Cosmo grinned "Then let's do this thing
He poofed back to his seat and started the dimension.
The dimension started by showing a video being played on a phone as a man in the video dressed as a fox sang.
"What does the fox say?" The man asked and started making 'Yip' noises as people danced in the background.
"What does the fox say?" Adam asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip!" Cosmo exclaimed as he did the dance while everyone looked at him in confusion as he stopped and laughed "Sorry, it was a popular song and dance for its time."
"In which dimension exactly?" Ironwood asked.
"Multiple!" Cosmo exclaimed.
"Pretty weird." Yang said.
"Your dimension has gone through some weird phases, don't lie." Cosmo argued.
Yang was about to respond but she blinked as she realised he was right as Ozpin sighed in memory of the few disturbing eras he had to go through.
The person holding the phone was revealed to be Qrow with Winter watching with him, Qrow laughed in amusement at the video while Winter rolled her eyes.
"No…please don't tell me…" Winter begged with wide eyes.
Qrow started smirking as he looked over at Winter "Well, well, well, look who is dating the drunk."
"This is fake! This has to be fake!" Winter exclaimed.
"Winter, even you know that all of this is real." Ironwood said in amusement.
"A different version of you actually likes uncle Qrow, just like how a different version of me had a crush on…" Yang shivered as she thought about it "Cardin."
Cardin smiled as he mentally fist bumped himself as he remembered that but frowned when he realised that he died in that dimension.
Winter frantically looked around and then glared at Qrow who made kissy faces at her and she screamed so loud that the theatre briefly shook.
"Woah." Vernal commented.
"Girl's got a banshee scream." Raven said as she uncovered her ears.
"That's crazy, right?" Qrow asked in amusement.
"Come on, I'm sick of this video." Winter said and then suddenly Qrow's phone rang as a message showed from his notifications.
Winter grabbed the phone which surprised Qrow as he was about to ask but she cut him off "What are you-"
"Who is Sasha Club? And why is she thinking about you?" Winter asked accusingly.
"Ooh…" Yang said with an amused smirk.
"You're cheating on me!?" Winter exclaimed angrily.
"How dare you!?" Weiss shouted while Whitley face palmed.
"Hey I wouldn't do that! This may be a surprise but I'm actually loyal to the people I'm with." Qrow defended
"Other dimension you apparently doesn't share the same sentiment." Taiyang said as he laughed.
"Quiet Tai!" Qrow exclaimed.
"Well he's screwed." Roman said.
"Maybe he can get out of it." Velvet assumed.
"I doubt that." Cinder said with a smirk "But it will be fun to see how he does it."
"Uh, hey, come on, baby." Qrow said as he thought of an excuse "That's just my colleague."
"You work in a Club?" Glynda asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Yeah I'd believe that." Sienna said as she watched Qrow guzzle down another can of bear while deliberately avoiding Winter's glare.
"You know, that's all it is." Qrow said as Winter shoved the phone back in his hands and stood up.
"Whatever." Winter said as she walked away.
"You really gonna leave with my family here?" Qrow asked only to receive silence as an answer.
"And your family is here?" Sun asked "Dude this is just not your day."
"Maybe if he didn't cheat, he wouldn't be in this situation." Blake said.
"Yeah that's true." Sun said in agreement.
"You better hope she doesn't say anything." Taiyang said as he gave him a cheeky grin.
Music started to play as a lot of familiar faces were shown chatting and having fun at a barbeque gathering on top of a building as Qrow was shown eating chips.
"Is he going to sing his problems?" Hazel asked in amusement.
"What?" Qrow asked as he was not into that idea.
"Ooh! Musical number!" Ruby exclaimed excitedly.
Qrow was shown standing by a railing and he started singing "Dad says "Hmmmmm","
Ozpin was shown nodding his head while Qrow sang/narrated his actions.
"Dad?" Ozpin asked.
"Yeah in this dimension, a lot of you guys are related." Cosmo said which surprised a lot of them.
"This just keeps getting weirder and weirder." Yang said.
"Sis says "Hey"," Qrow sang as Raven smiled and waved at him.
"I would never willing greet you, much less say hey." Raven said as she rolled her eyes.
"Really feeling the love sis." Qrow said as he rolled his eyes as well.
"Mom says "Muahh!"," Qrow continued as Salem was shown kissing him on the cheek.
Salem cringed "I would never!"
"Well he is your son in this." Taiyang reasoned.
"And you're the dad…" Ironwood said to Ozpin.
"What was the point of reminding me?" Ozpin asked with a groan.
"And brother says "Wow."." Qrow continued as Taiyang mouthed the words.
Qrow and Taiyang smiled and have each other brotherly shoulder punches as that one wasn't so hard to believe.
"Cousin says "Money"," Qrow continued as Roman came up to him with his hand out.
"Yeah I totally would be that cousin." Roman said with a laugh.
"I already have one of those." Oobleck said as he shook his head with a chuckle.
"Niece says "Wanhhh!"," Qrow sang as Ruby was shown crying like a child.
Ruby pouted as her peers laughed while the adults looked amused.
"Sorry kid." Qrow said with a smile.
"You are this close to not being my favourite uncle, uncle Qrow!" Ruby said with a glare.
"I'm your only uncle though." Qrow said.
"I'll find a new one!" Ruby exclaimed.
"And my grandfather smells gas." Qrow sang as Port walked past him and stopped while sniffing the air but he was the one who obviously farted.
"Why I never!" Port exclaimed.
"Well you did." Oobleck said as he chuckled
"Aunt says "Unnnhuhhh."" Qrow continued as Sienna was shown doing so.
"I'm his aunt?" Sienna asked with a raised eyebrow.
"So you're either related to Ozpin or Salem, yikes." Raven said as she sympathetically pat her back.
"Uncle is loud." Qrow sang as Adam was shown sleeping and snoring in a chair.
"Good god! I'm married to Adam!?" Sienna exclaimed.
"You make it sound like a death sentence." Adam said with a frown.
"May as well be…" Blake muttered quietly.
"Grandmother says "Oh! My hip!"," Qrow sang as Maria was shown holding her hip in pain and mouthing the words.
"Who's she?" Yang asked.
"She's cute and tiny." Ruby said with a giggle.
"But there's one sound that y'all should know," Qrow sang from the couch as he suddenly turned to the camera "What does my girl say?"
Winter was now shown sitting next to him, making an annoying sound then she was shown making the sound with suited up backup dancers "YANH, YANH, YANH, YANH, YANH, YANH, YANH, YANH, YANH, YANH, YANH, YANH."
The guys started laughing and some of the girls but some were just offended and glared at Qrow.
"So that's all you hear huh?" Winter asked with a growl.
"Exactly! Stop nagging me woman!" Qrow exclaimed.
"This is hilarious!" Yang exclaimed.
"Build up was absolutely perfect!" Sun exclaimed with a laugh.
"How tasteful." Sienna said with an eye roll.
"What does my girl say?" Qrow sang
"WHO DAT, WHO DAT, WHO DAT BITCH? WHO DAT, WHO DAT, WHO DAT BITCH? WHO DAT, WHO DAT, WHO DAT BITCH?" Winter sang accusingly.
"Damn." Roman said with a laugh.
Terra covered Adrian's ears but she was trying to hold in a laugh whole Saphron was laughing her butt off.
"You better answer her Qrow." Taiyang said in amusement.
"Not gonna lie, I would do the same." Raven said.
"You'd break her first then ask questions." Summer said.
Raven smirked "True."
Pyrrha thought about it and she would do the same as well.
"That's how you reacted when I was talking to that one girl." Mercury said as he looked at Emerald.
"What? When was this?" Emerald asked.
"A few weeks ago."
"Yeah no, I don't remember that." Emerald replied.
"You were mad at me for like a week after that." Mercury said.
"I have no idea what you're talking about." Emerald said with a shrug.
"Your skin is soft, you're beautiful but that jealousy's from hell." Qrow sang passionately "You're in my phone and searching it,"
Qrow sang this as Winter was shown looking through his phone.
"You've got a jealousy problem." Qrow said.
"You've got a cheating problem." Winter said with a glare.
"Guys you're not even actually together but you're acting like you are." Jaune said.
Qrow and Winter glared at him as he shrunk back but they stopped arguing and went back to watching the video.
"Asking me who are these," Qrow sang.
"H-O'S, H-O'S, H-O'S, H-O'S, H-O'S, H-O'S." Winter sang as Melanie and a group of girls were shown.
"Melanie!? You were cheating with Melanie!?" Junior exclaimed.
Melanie shrugged with a smirk "I don't really mind if it's him."
"What a step down in my opinion." Qrow muttered.
"What did you say?" Winter asked with narrowed eyes as she didn't hear him properly.
"Nothing Ice Queen." Qrow replied.
"Really this chick looks like a," Qrow sang.
"H-O-R-S-E, H-O-R-S-E, H-O-R-S-E." Winter sang as a horse was shown and Melanie was being compared side by side to the horse.
"What does my girl say?" Qrow sang.
"A horse, you compare my beauty to a horse!?" Melanie asked angrily as everyone laughed.
"I don't know if that was just spite from Winter or if she's just stating facts cause now that I look at it-" Taiyang was cut off when a heel lodged to the side of his seat, right by his head, and he turned to see Melanie with a dark glare and holding her other heel.
"Finish that sentence, I dare you." Melanie said darkly as Taiyang gulped and kept quiet.
"I GOT YOU, GOT YOU, GOT YOU POW! GOT YOU, GOT YOU, GOT YOU POW! GOT YOU, GOT YOU, GOT YOU POW!" Winter sang as she was shown slapping Qrow over the head.
"She really did." Salem said as she chuckled.
"You are in so much trouble." Raven said as she laughed.
"What does my girl say?" Qrow sang.
" YOU DONE, YOU DONE, YOU DONE MESSED UP NOW! YOU DONE, YOU DONE, YOU DONE MESSED UP NOW! YOU DONE, YOU DONE, YOU DONE MESSED UP NOW!" Winter sang.
"What my girl say?" Qrow sang.
"By the end of this, I doubt you'll have the rights to call me your girl." Winter said with a smirk.
"So what? Doesn't bother me." Qrow said and Winter looked slightly hurt by that.
'Damn it! Good job idiot!' Qrow berated himself internally.
Winter was shown sensually dancing "He thinks he's so smart."
Qrow was shown congratulating himself by that fact.
"You are so full of yourself." Vernal said with a face Palm.
"Uncle Qrow is an idiot in this huh?" Ruby asked.
"They can't all be mad scientists." Ren said.
"He tried to lock his phone but he forgot about the cloud." Winter sang as she was shown logging into Qrow's iCloud.
"Ah crap!" Qrow exclaimed.
"Damn the cloud!" Roman shouted as he remembered all those times Neo found some explicit things in there.
'Dirty, dirty clouds men have.' Neo wrote and those who read agreed.
"And his cloud is full of BUTTS!" Winter sang "SO FULL OF BUTTS!"
Qrow face palmed, then Yang and Ruby then everyone else at once.
"What does my guy say?" Winter sang.
Qrow sang as he shook his head rapidly "I DON'T, I DON'T, I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T, I DON'T, I DON'T KNOW. YOU MEAN, YOU MEAN, YOU MEAN HER?"
"Deny, deny, deny. Cause that's all you got left." Tyrian said with a laugh.
"Its over bro." Neptune said as he shook his head.
"What does my guy say?" Winter sang.
"PLEASE DON'T, PLEASE DON'T, PLEASE DON'T GO! PLEASE DON'T, PLEASE DON'T, PLEASE DON'T GO!" Qrow begged desperately "YOU PAY, YOU PAY, YOU PAY FOR MY PHONE!"
"That's why!?" Weiss shouted.
"You selfish, greedy Bastard!" Winter exclaimed.
"I REALLY DON'T, DON'T NEED HIM." Winter sang as she left.
"You really don't." Sienna said.
"You go girl!" Coco cheered.
Cosmo Poofed to the front with a grin "Well?"
"We just saw a relationship die." Velvet said.
"It was his fault anyway." Cinder said.
"But it was funny to watch." Ruby added.
"Some breakups are." Yang said
"Well I know that other version of me is far from who I am." Qrow said.
Winter scoffed "Really?"
"Yeah. For one I don't do relationships and two, if I was with Winter I would never cheat and I wouldn't be with her because of her money." Qrow explained.
"And what would you be with me for?" Winter asked with a glare.
Qrow stared at her and her eyes began to soften as he looked back at Cosmo "Let's continue."
"Yeah! Cause the next one is gonna be showing you how far a person will go for their friend." Cosmo said with a laugh.