"Ok, so the last six months while I was gone and you all thought I had been murdered or kidnapped -"
"Yes, I am aware of that, get to the point-"
"-I was actually traveling the world with Shadow because we had discovered that we were madly in love with one another, and- I'm sorry, are you okay?"
"Oh no, don't mind me, I've just developed these sudden fits where my knees hit me in the chin and my eyes start twitching. Nothing to worry about." Amy managed after a moment of strangled wheezing.
"Uh...okay... and so we were traveling the world, regularly having kinky hot monkey sex on beds, tables and in public pools- are you sure you're alright?"
"gneeehr no go on I'm fine, really."
"Anyway we've developed a telepathic bond and we met Shadow's long-lost twin on the way. She's the princess of a lost civilization, she's got wings and a pet rainbow tiger and she can do magic!"Amy stared at him.
"Sonic, if you are making this up I swear I'm going to... do very unpleasent things."
Sonic's only reaction was puzzled indignance.
"But it's all true! And anyway you keep interrupting me. Her name is Kristal Margot Pearlshine III. So... where was I, right. We saved the world a couple of times and... oh yeah, Shadow's pregnant. Amy? Amy, are you okay? Amy!"
"...Amy? Amy?" She stirred, blinking sleepily.
"Oh... good morning, Sonic, I had the weirdest dream-" She stopped midsentence, staring at the tiny bundle in Sonic's arms. He was smiling radiantly.
"We named him Shoddonhow Darquefyre Hedgehog."
"..."
"Isn't he the sweetest little thing?"
"G...gn... guhr!"
"Amy?"
"GAAAH!"