Author's notes: Thank you to my beta 62442alMan (from the Chamber of Secrets forum).
Thank you to Nocturnal007 and Lilybet Edyvean for your reviews. I'm glad you're enjoying my story and hope you like the coming chapter. You comments are always appreciated.
Chapter four: Realisations of the heart.
After discovering the identity of the mysterious gentleman from the garden, Amelia thought of nothing else. Her head was constantly filled with daydreams of Regulus Black, and she hoped he'd soon return to the house.
Every day, Amelia would sit out in the garden, praying to meet Regulus. On many occasions, she was tempted to ask her aunt or uncle when Lucius' business acquaintances would be returning, but shyness and fear of their response got the better of her.
Finally, after a week had passed since she'd met Regulus, Amelia could stand it no longer, and she had to take action. The question was, what action to take? She dared not ask Lucius anything, or let on that she had any interest in someone he knew. Narcissa would be the easier bet, but the family connection made things complicated, and Amelia knew her Aunt would see right though her. She didn't want either of her guardians knowing her secret feelings for Regulus. However she needed to see him again, and speak to him. Something about the man drew her to him, and there was something so mysterious she couldn't resist.
Amelia was always fascinated by the unknown, if there was something she didn't know the full story about, her mind wouldn't let her rest until she knew it. To her, Regulus was just an enigma that needed to be solved. Why had he been at the house? It didn't seem like it was just a family visit; in fact Amelia was quite sure Narcissa wasn't even in on that day. What was behind those forlorn grey eyes? In her head, Amelia pictured his handsome, yet aloof features. There was a coldness to him, that was enticing. Amelia greatly wanted to break down this barrier and see a warm smile.
Finally, Amelia's musing threatened to drive her insane. Throwing caution aside she decided to question Narcissa.
Finding her aunt alone in the garden, Amelia saw the perfect opportunity to ask about Regulus. Her heart pounded as she walked down the stone pathway towards the relaxing blonde woman. What would she say? Would she confess to her snooping? Whatever happened, Amelia had to get some answers otherwise she might just go mad.
Feeling nervous and sweating profusely, Amelia approached her aunt and spoke.
"Aunt Cissy, there was something I was hoping to ask you."
"Yes dearest? What is it I can do for you?" replied the older woman.
"Remember the other day, when you said Uncle Lucius' friends would be charmed by my new appearance. Well, were you being serious? Because I …" Amelia trailed off.
"Don't be shy now. You know you can tell me anything. Your uncle and I would be so pleased if you had taken an interest in someone. With you graduating from Hogwarts in a year, it's the right time to be looking to the future," Narcissa smiled.
Amelia began to stutter, unsure of how to explain her feelings to her aunt. She did not want to reveal all the searching she had been doing. Then she realised, she did not even know what her feelings were.
Was she purely interested in Regulus because he was someone unknown? Alternatively, was she, for the first real time, interested in more?
"I was just curious about one of Lucius' friends I met in the garden a few days ago," the younger woman confessed.
"Ahh, Lucius had mentioned he had noticed you talking to someone. He is my cousin Regulus Black."
Amelia pretended to be shocked by this information, when in fact she knew who Regulus was.
"Errm yes. I started talking to him, and wanted to know more," Amelia admitted.
"Well he is a very nice man. I would be very pleased if the pair of you began seeing more of each other. I'm sure he will be visiting the house again soon. Then you will have another chance to talk to him."
Narcissa smiled to herself. Lucius had indeed informed her about Amelia and Regulus talking in the garden. This had been a delight to Narcissa, as she would like nothing more than to see her niece and cousin together. Lucius too had been very taken by the idea, and could see the advantages to his niece having a connection to the Black family. Narcissa was desperate to inform her husband of Amelia's confessed interest in her cousin.
Amelia smiled at her aunt, she had gotten the information she wanted, hopefully without giving her own feelings away. This again brought back the question of what were her true feeling?
"Thanks for telling me this, Aunt Cissy. I will be sure to speak with Regulus then next time I see him," smiled the younger woman.
With this, Amelia bid her aunt goodbye, then made her way back to her bedroom to contemplate her feelings about Regulus.
Amelia sat alone in her room writing in her journal, musing over her obsession with Regulus.
I met a very intriguing man recently. I did not know who he was, but for some reason he was at the house. Aunt Cissy claims he is one of Uncle Lucius' business associates. However, even knowing the reason for his appearance in the house has not satisfied me. His dark hair and deep grey eyes are so enticing to me. I desperately wanted to know more about this strangely aloof, yet handsome man. All I knew from our brief conversation was that he was the year above me at school. In desperate need for more information, I looked through my old school pictures to see if I could spot him in any. I found one that featured him. Like a lone wolf, he sat reading in the Slytherin common room. His solitariness only made him more appealing to me. My dreams were constantly filled with visions of the two of us together, whispering affectionate words to one another. Aroused by my night time fantasies of the forlorn stranger, I began a search to discover his identity. A photo album and family record book of my aunt's disclosed what I wanted to know.
He is Aunt Cissy's cousin, Regulus Black. Since then I have hoped and prayed he will return to the house. I would give anything for another chance to speak with Regulus, the opportunity to unravel the enigma that he is. My every thought, whether waking or in sleep are of him. I am drawn to his raven-hair and eyes that seem to hold endless secrets. I am now on the verge of desperation to see Regulus again, going insane with fascination.
Finally, I plucked up the courage to ask Aunt Cissy about Regulus. She confirmed that he was her cousin and that he should be returning to the house again soon. She even suggested that she would like to see the two of us together. I am not sure what to make of this. I had never really though past discovering his identity and seeing him again. Aunt Cissy reminded me that with my graduation approaching, I should be thinking about my future. It had never occurred to me before that my future may hold forming a relationship, I would only ever then, think about my career. However, I know in my heart that I want nothing more than to meet someone, fall in love and start a family.
Do I see Regulus as someone I might be able to have those things with? Again, it is not something I had considered. I cannot deny that he is very attractive, I find him alluring. Nevertheless, I know next to nothing about the man. How do I know if I want something more? I have never really had feelings like this for a man before. Would anyone even want to have a relationship with me? Would Regulus? Why am I thinking these things? Does it matter if I want a relationship? Does it matter that I am always thinking about Regulus? What does all this mean?
Amelia sat in silence, pondering these questions. Again, she had the feeling she was missing a piece in a jigsaw puzzle. She gazed out the window, to see Narcissa and Lucius alone on the bench together. Their arms around each other, Narcissa's head resting on her husband's shoulder. She imagined that it was her and Regulus, alone together in their own blissful world. A sudden realization dawned on Amelia, and she turned back to her loyal confidant to write these thoughts down.
And now everything makes sense. The truth is, I am infatuated with Regulus Black.