Chapter 5
For some reason, jamming Kenshin and Kaoru together like that had been most satisfying. It allowed Shishi to walk with a quirk of the lips on her gorgeous face, before she got to the start of Law street.
It was called Law street, because the entire left road side was dominated by the Kyoto Police Headquarters. Inside was her colleagues, her boss Junsabucho Bitstu, her second life…
…and her father.
Inside that building, she had no doubt her father was brooding, furious at her deceit and just waiting to sink his claws into her.
Two days ago, that prospect would have unnerved her, as the last thing she had wanted to do was displease her father. But now?
Right now, the thought of rebelling and doing it for all to see sounded very, very tempting…
But she would not be the fool. She had a job to do, a job she loved very much. It suddenly occurred to her, she was obsessed with her work, honing her skills under the excuse of official errands and being the most efficient, hard working officer in the force. She certainly had that reputation.
And she decided she didn't like it.
She had spent all her life conforming, bending to the will of others and doing exactly what she was told, under the pretences it would make her father proud. But that prospect seemed dimmer to her, like the slowly darkening sky.
So why not rebel a little? Ruffle his and everyone else's feathers? She wasn't afraid, she was brave, she could do it.
How satisfying would it be to rattle the cages of all her betters, cheered on by her peers and make such an impact, the ripples of her defiance would quake all the way to Yamaguchi?
Who am I kidding? The slightest inkling of insubordinate talking, and I kick their asses. And I am no hypocrite. The longing urge for mutiny against everything her father stood for in vengeance bubbled in the pit of her stomach, churning over and getting ever stronger.
But that was reckless, and would do no good. She would just end up doing something rash and stupid if she gave in to such…temptations.
So she repressed it for now, alone with the meaning of her life questions, and pressed on to the police station.
She schooled her features from the moment she entered the station, her amber eyes scanning for any sign of her father, and walking on autopilot to the front desk.
There, her Junsacho, Sergeant Kyuzo Bitstu, sat with a huge grin over his stubbled jaw and looking right at her.
"Good afternoon, my scarlet angel."
"Sir." She bowed, the nickname had become a formality to her, always being called by her code name, never her real name.
"Come for your salary, I assume?" she nodded. "You and everyone else today. That's why I'm on the pay desk, after all." he chuckled, but his dark eyes noticed something missing. Two somethings. One was her smirk, and the second… "Aren't you missing something?" he pointed to her mouth while he pulled out her 20 thick, gold oval shaped coins, wrapped in a black cloth and tied with a piece of string.
"What do you mean?"
"The lips? The reason you're the scarlet angel?" he chuckled at her when she pulled one white glove off and traced her fingers over his lips.
"…I have been slightly out of routine recently. And there is a girl at the place I am staying who seems to be involved with the underground. I fear I will be recognised if I fit my description completely." Shishi put her glove back on, and reached to take her pay. But it was held back.
"Who are you staying with? Shouldn't you be at home now you've come back to Kyoto?" he didn't like the sound of that. If there was any risk of her cover being compromised…
"With a few associates. I no longer live in my previous residence. Now if you please?" Kyuzo looked at her hard, realising she wasn't in the mood for any sort of light humour or teasing. Her amber eyes were narrow, and sharp.
She was pissed off. And he knew better than to stick his nose where it didn't belong, at the risk of losing it.
"Alright. Should I add the 20 percent rent pieces from your pay into this? If you're not living with your dear ol' dad then-"
"His name is Chief Goro. Show your respect." She spat, before snatching the pouch from him. "And yes, if you would be so kind." But her voice was razor sharp, her glare brutal, and her left hand on the hilt of her sword…
Never a good sign.
He quickly handed her all of her 22 yen, and then brightened up.
I know how to cheer her up. He smirked.
"So…are there any curfew rules at the home of your 'associates'?" The cheeky grin on his face drew her attention. He always grinned like that when he was either about to drop a bombshell, or had something tucked up his sleeve.
Either way, she was intrigued not to leave just yet.
"I have never taken any notice of such rules…if my work needed me." Recognition flared in her amber eyes, that fiery lust for battle flickering gleefully, and she leaned forward on the desk. "If there was a mission, for example."
"Oh, good thing there is then, isn't there?"
"Where?" she said eagerly. A mission was just what the doctor ordered. It was the best way to lose herself in her skills, and work out any frustrations.
"In the underground, of course." He winked to her. "Our favourite little place, isn't it?"
"When?"
"In the hour of the high moon, as always." He could tell she was eager, her hand hadn't left the hilt of her sword yet. "Would you be interested? I could send someone to cover for you if you're afraid of this 'person' uncovering your other identity."
"No, no need. I am an officer, I'll tell them I'm on night duty." She brushed off her sleeves, seemingly bored. But Kyuzo knew that was just a façade, blanketing the raging fire of anticipation within her.
"Alright. I'll see you at the meeting point with the others at midnight."
"Speaking of the others." She said frankly. "Where is Haku?" she had insisted on shortening his name, finding it more practical, she said, if she needed to call him in battle. Hakukakotai just took too long to say, and by the time you had, it may be too late.
"Missed him, have you?" Kyuzo smirked at her. Those two were so close, so inseparable, they were bound to be lovers one day. And he made no show to hide his predictions from anyone, making Shishi's eyes narrow coldly and her lips purse together slightly.
"His company is more tolerable then certain other people, yes."
"Like daddy dearest?" Kyuzo hinted again. And again, her eyes were as sharp as throwing knives, and her hand clenched her hilt tightly. He was really pushing his luck.
But she did her usual trick, which infuriated him, of simple blinking once, relaxing her frame, and becoming as cool and collected as her bastard father.
He could have sworn he was looking at Fugita, if it wasn't for the feminine face and breasts protruding from beneath the shirt. Damn arsehole. Look what you've done to her. It was no secret there was bad blood between Kyuzo and 'Fugita', always contradicting in beliefs and decisions. They were at opposite ends of the spectrum, and yet worked under the same roof. Fugita just worked a little closer to it, upstairs.
"Haku? Where is he?" oh, she wasn't going to make this easy for him. Despite himself, Kyuzo took a personal interest in this girl. So would you if you had worked with her everyday for the last 4 years. He was dying to know what had tousled her resolve so much. He had seen more emotion from her today, than he had in the last 2 years. But she wasn't going to budge, she never did, and he sighed with defeat.
"Probably already in the underground. You know he doesn't come into the public eye on principle."
"I would have thought he would have been here…"
"To greet you?" he hinted with a sly smirk.
"Watch it old man." he chuckled. Shishi was like her father in so many ways. Respecting authority, was not one of their traits. "Or I may need to find a new Junsacho."
"Empty threats from an empty woman." He chuckled. He rose to his feet, and didn't see the stunned look on Shishi's face. Without realising it, he had described her perfectly.
Empty.
That is what she felt.
Empty…
But she refused to show weakness, and showed nothing but a curt, blank face. "Now, if you really wanted to find Haku before the mission, I suppose you could-"
"No." she cut him off mid sentence, closing her eyes and putting her money pouch down the front of her top. Officers from other departments were ogling her at this point, waiting for it from a distance. Because when she slipped her hand down the front of her top, it was the only time any man was lucky enough to see her ample cleavage and the slight jiggle of her chest. "I have other arrangements."
"You do? Alright, I'll see you at midnight. I just need to get the mission approved, and I'll see you there." Shishi nodded, turned, and left swiftly.
Empty. He had called her empty. She knew he meant no offence by it, but still…
That growing need to fill the emptiness, to act out of character flared within her once more, driving her forward until her feet took her away from Law street, and outside a certain restaurant called the Shirobeko.
Kyuzo however, took his mission papers and headed upstairs.
From the closed door, he knew Chief Fugita Goro was inside. That, and the haze of cigarette smoke he could smell coming from the other side of the door. When he wasn't in, there was no smoky smell, and the door was open.
Because what idiot was stupid enough to steal from him?
He took a deep breath, taking a hold for his distaste of this man, and knocked on the door politely.
As always, politeness was wasted on this man, as he was simply ignored. He heard me, I know he heard me. That arrogant son of a-
"Come in." He barked. Whoa, he sounds pissed off too. His mind made a connection. Perfect. What ever unbalanced my scarlet angel, must be the same thing shoved up Fugita's ass.
Kyuzo pushed the door open, walked up to the desk (which he had to resist smirked at, as it was layered with piles and piles of forms), and bowed from the waist in respect. "Bitstu? What in damnation do you want?"
Saito had a cigarette hanging from his mouth, his navy uniform immaculate, his hair in place, but his amber eyes surprisingly narrow. So narrow, it almost looked like he had no pupils.
A very scary sight.
He was sat, trying to make sense of this local defence act and his screw up as a father, and on top of that, waiting for Kyuzo to explain himself. "Well?" he spat.
"I have something I need you to sign. I intend to send a few of my men into the underground again for some recognisance on the beheading Shinsengumi murderer."
"It isn't a Shinsengumi. Just some copycat brats with too much time, too much money, and not enough discipline." Saito quipped almost immediately from the moment he finished speaking. "But I approve it. Give it here." Anything to just get rid of that idiot. He wasn't in the mood for a step by step sleep lecture from this imbecile, when he had more important problems to deal with.
Like Tokio when he arrived home without Shishi. And how the hell to get her back. He didn't even know where she was!
He quickly signed it, not really looking at the mission list, and shoved it back at him. "Now leave me be."
"Very well sir. Oh, and I have taken the liberty of adding your daughter's rent money back to her pay."
"What!" Saito jumped to his feet, fists banging on the table and staying there. His amber eyes glared cold blooded murder at Kyuzo, who very much wished he had kept his mouth shut and perhaps brought Toshiro or Tsuruko (probably both) with him. "Why did you do that!" he demanded.
"She asked me to." In her defence he offered, but perhaps this was the way to uncover what had happened. And he was starting to believe it was something between them both. Perhaps Shishi finally realised her father is a bastard?
"Why didn't you consult me first!" he paused. "When was this?"
"A few moments ago. Right before I came up to-"
"She was here! Why didn't she report to me! She always reports to me first."
"Not today, it seems." He realised that he wasn't being addressed anymore. It was like the chief was talking more to himself than Kyuzo. "She collected her pay, and left."
Slowly, Saito lowered to his seat, holding the ridge of his nose with his finger and thumb, and slowly massaging there.
"In future Bitstu, you are to relay her directly to me, before even thinking about giving her her salary. Understood?"
"She seemed…" take the bait you old dog. Do it. He even made a point to look away, with a look of concern on his face. "Never mind. I shouldn't say anything." he turned to leave.
"Wait." Gotcha. Kyuzo smirked to himself, before turning with the compete look of innocence on his face.
"Yes sir?"
Saito seemed to be struggling with what he wanted to say, but somehow managed it.
"When you she seemed…what did she seem to be?"
"In a word." Pissed. "Distraught." Kyuzo wanted to grin smugly, when he saw his eyes widen slightly. Well well well. The chief does have a heart. Hard to believe really. I guess I was wrong, he doescare about his daughter. This thought seemed to elate him, glad his favourite little fighter did have a loving father.
"Distraught?" he cleared his throat, looking down at his papers as if they were talking business. But he couldn't fool Kyuzo. He had already seen the momentary flicker of worried alarm in his eyes. Not even if he killed a man in front of him, would he be able to ever hide that from him again. "Explain. If she is mentally unable to work then-"
"No, she is perfectly able to work. I think working is the best thing for her. Takes her mind off of whatever has her looking so…" Saito looked up again obviously needing him to finish the sentence. And if he picked his words right, he would have the chief eating right out of his hands. "…broken. Like her world had been torn apart. Has there been any death in the family?"
"No." he spat. "And that wouldn't be any of your business. I think you are getting too concerned with my daughter's welfare." Kyuzo's eyes opened a fraction wider than normal. Did he just call her…his daughter? He never calls her his daughter.
Saito had realised what he had done too, and quickly moved on. He didn't like how his cold restraint was being tugged at by his daughter's upset. And it's my fault… "I can not have her or any other officer working beneath me if they are not fully and totally on task. The next time you see her, you are to send her to me immediately. I will then assess if she is to return home or not."
"I will not see her again for a while now, I think." Technically that's true. "She said she was staying 'with some associates' of hers. She didn't tell me where."
"Associates?" he lost control of his temper. "You mean she is staying with a bunch of strangers?" he stormed over to the wall, took his katana and sheathed it through his belt. He then pulled on his hat, his gloves, and pushed past him and down the stairs.
That was the final straw.
She had struck him, run away from him, deceived him to collect her belongings, and when he had gone to find Kenshin, he saw them all, with no Shishi. So she had run away form them also. Now she was back in Kyoto, and staying with total strangers!
She had gone too far. And he would drag her back to the station by her hair if he had to! Had she lost all her common sense? She may be a skilled swordswoman, but she is still a woman. Alarms should have gone off if she was staying on her own, with strangers. Because if she was staying at an Inn, she would have said so. His daughter, does not lie.
If she says she is staying with associates, that that is all they were. Nothing more. "I'll kill that Battōsai when I find him." He said he would look after her.
Saito was completely livid. He marched down Law street, pushing civilians out of his way and looking all over. He then stopped at the bottom of the street.
Kyoto was a large city. She could be anywhere, with anyone. How on earth would he ever find her…Shishi.
Empty. That's what this feeling is. Shishi Hajime clutched at her chest as she walked with her right hand, her left holding her hilt in need of comfort. What have I actually achieved in life? A job, a routine, a calling to battle. I would never give up my sword…but…
As she cast her unusually dim amber eyes around the bustling streets, she picked out certain things. Like a young woman dressed in a gorgeous purple kimono. She was fanning herself with a pink fan. Her features weren't that defined or alluring, but there was obviously something about her, for the man on his knees courting her to be doing so in public. He was loudly serenading her and declaring his love of her, and her beauty. Shishi stopped, leaning back slightly against the wooden post of a market stand.
That void feeling, that freezing cold numbness pulsed inside her chest suddenly. She griped at her shirt over her heart, fear flickering in her amber eyes from the unwanted palpitation. What…what was that? She whimpered, shaking her head and walking on.
Only to stop again and watch another scene.
"Come on Ton-Ton! I'll race you back to the shrine!"
"No way Jena, I'm tired." Two small girls in pretty little pink and blue dresses stood before her. One stood with an eager look on her face, the other smiling, but breathing heavily and leaning against a building wall. From their rosy cheeks, they had been running. "We've been running for aaaaagggesss." She moaned.
"But we're almost there! And if we get there before the sun starts to fall from the sky, then Momma will still have rice cakes left for us!"
"Mmmm, rice cakes!" Shishi dashed to the side, peering out from the building side at the two girls. "but I don't think I can run anymore…my feet hurt."
"No problem! I'll carry you!" Shishi gasped, the small 6 year old girl bending forward and taking the other girl on her back. They were obviously best friends. "We'll be there in no time." Jena giggled, as her friend Ton-ton hugged her neck.
"Thank you Jena-chan. I'll give you one of my rice cakes for this."
"No problem Ton-ton! What are friends for?" Shishi hid in the shadows as the two girls bolted on two feet, weaving through the afternoon crowds.
what are friends…for…
Wham.
That cold lonely sensation seeped through her skin, making her feel clammy and icy, with a painful pounding in harmony with her heart. Her aching heart. Why…am I feeling this! She tore away from the wall, not knowing where she was walking, desperate to just get away from here and evaluate-
"Daddy!" Shishi whirled round, her amber eyes searching until they fixed upon a small girl. Another one. How many small girls are there! Why can't their stupid parents not lock them in their damn rooms! She vexed, glaring at the child momentarily, until she realised she was actually scaring her. "…Mmm." She whimpered. "Mmmmam?"
"What?" she said coldly, folding her arms and remaining aloof from the obviously distraught child.
"a a are." she twiddled her fingers and looked down to her feet. She had short hair, mousy brown, in two bunches on her head. There was a small white flower behind her left ear, and she wore a lovely yellow kimono with an orange obi and branching blossoms ordaining the front. Very pretty.
"Are…?" she scolded herself for being so cold with the child. She was obviously distressed for some reason, and she was an officer. Her job was to help those who need it. And besides, it wasn't this girl's fault that she happened to say the one word she really didn't want to hear right now.
"Are you a…"
"Am I am…?" Shishi sighed. She preferred interrogating cocky tight lipped thugs than dealing with…children. She shuddered.
"Are you a…policeman?" her left eye twitched, and she dropped to one knee.
"No, I am not. I'm a policewoman."
"I am not ready."
"Not ready? You took down only 20 of my best Junsacho only this morning! With your bare hands! You are more than ready."
"No, I am not. Not until my father says so."
"But-"
"NOT until my father says so, am I ready."
Without realising it, her face fell slightly from her impassive blank expression, to a frown. "…in training."
"Oh…" the girl whimpered. "It's just that…it's just that."
"What's wrong?" she tried to be more considerate, less blunt. But the girl just trembled and took a step back. "Listen child, I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong?"
"I…I." she fisted at her obi, scrunching her eyes up and shaking her head. "I CAN'T FIND MY DADDY!" and she erupted into torrents of tears on the spot, drawing lots of attention.
"Your…your…" she gulped. She couldn't say it. "Your father?" the girl simply nodded, unable to do anything else.
"What is his name?" she pulled out her note pad and pencil, prepared to take notes. She was oddly…serious about this girl all of a sudden.
"Uchino-san."
"Where do you live?"
"In my house." She sniffled. Shishi blinked, and sweat dropped. This is what you get for getting details from a child. Oh great. This isn't annoying in the slightest. She told herself.
"Where did you last see Uchino-san?"
"By the water." Her left eye twitched again. I'm getting no where!
"Take me." Shishi put her note pad away and folded her arms, looking at the stationary child. "Well?"
"Well…what Policewoman San?" she rolled her eyes.
"You may call me officer Goro. And why are you not taking me?" she raised her brow, not realising how intimidating she appeared right then, looking down like a tower on her.
"Can you…hold my hand?" Shishi turned her head to the side, still looking at her. That had caught her off guard, her eyes had even widened slightly. "I'm scared…" she sniffled, her eyes watering again.
Shishi's face suddenly softened, and her arms dropped to her sides.
"Again Shishi!" the sound of a wooden sword beating against a thick tree trunk echoes almost as loud as the pained cries of a young girl. She is whimpering and shivering madly.
"But d daddy! It's d dark!"
"And? Your enemy will not spare you simply because it's past sunset! Again!"
"Daddy no! Please daddy, I want to go home! Please…" tears fell from her cheeks and splashed against her bloody, bruised hands, gripping at the wooden hilt.
"Why? Are you injured?"
"No…"
"Then what possible excuse can you give me for your idle request?"
"…I'm scared."
"Hurry." Was all she said, yanking her hand as if desperate herself, and pulling her forward. "Where?" she still couldn't believe she was doing this. It almost felt wrong, unnatural. "Where?" Shishi asked again, only to find the girl was sobbing hysterically, balling a fist into one of her weeping eyes.
"…scared…"
"Listen to me…er…what's your name?" Shishi dropped to both knees, holding the child's hands before her. Her amber eyes demanded attention, and got them. Watery brown eyes rose from the floor and became locked in her stare. She knew it was cruel to use that technique on her, but she couldn't stand it anymore. Something about this child, the children before, and even the young courting couple had spooked her for some reason. She just wanted to get out of here and reflect why seeing such a miserable, nuisance of a child would cause her heart to beat faster, and a shiver to travel up her spine. That cold numbing feeling still hadn't gone away either; it only seemed to get worse.
"Kikyo Uchino."
"Kikyo-chan, listen to me. I want to take you back to your…father. I can't do my job if you don't do yours. I need you to help me help you. We were stood by the vegetable stall." Shishi went into analysing mode, looking back to the stall. "And judging from the direction you were walking, you came from that direction." She pointed over her shoulder, the way she had pulled her along. "You also have slight grass stains on your socks." Kikyo pulled her kimono over her ankles, and saw the slightest bit of green on the toes of her socks through her sandals. "You also said you last saw your father by the water. So we are looking for somewhere like a pond or a river, with a grassy bank." Shishi stood tall, lifting Kikyo under her arm like a dog, and bolting into a sprint. Walking took too long, and she didn't want to risk that Kikyo's father would give up and go before they got there.
The young girl yelped and squealed as they bolted down an alley, sprang off a wall, scaled up to the roof and ran so quickly on the tiles, they didn't make a sound. Other than her whimpering, of course.
It was strange, that no one seemed to notice the young woman leaping great distances, a thick sword on her left hip and a child spooned to her right one. "Almost there." Shishi jumped from the roof, to an adjoining tree and didn't lose any speed running down the bark and onto a grassy hill. With the added momentum of the slope, it was no time at all before they were both looking into a sparkling river. The same river, that ran straight through Kyoto. "Alright Kikyo-chan." She set her down. "Where do we go from here?"
"KIKYO!" Shishi grabbed the hilt of her sword and lowered into a Gatotsu stance on instinct. There was a man running towards them after all. He wore a very fine looking blue and cream piece robe, his hair tied up in a topknot. He had mousy brown hair, and brown eyes…
"…daddy?" Shishi relaxed, never lowered her guard, but realised this was the child's father. Well, that was easier than I thought. and short.
"Oh Kikyo, there you are!" as soon as he got closer, Shishi gulped. The man dropped to his knees, not caring for his expensive silken robes or his guard. He threw his arms out and beamed like a fool. "Oh my precious daughter." Shishi felt the same cold thump in her chest, and she clutched at herself with both hands.
her sword hilt…forgotten.
"Daddy! Daddy I'm so sorry Daddy!" Kikyo repeated over and over again, running at her father and rubbing her face in his chest. "Daddy!" she cried hard, sobbing and fisting his robes. "I only wanted to touch the butterfly, that's all." Uchino cradled her lovingly, crying fresh tears of his own. The look of love and relief on his face was moving, making even her mask of indifference shatter. "I didn't mean to run off daddy, I didn't mean to, I didn't…I didn't…" she whimpered every word.
"Don't worry Kikyo, my blessed child." He sniffed hard. "You don't have to apologise anymore." He placed his cheek on her head, his tears falling into her hair. "I'm just so glad you're safe. I love you so much."
Shishi actually lost her balance, tipping over on one foot until her shoulder hit the tree beside her. Her entire body felt frozen, dead of all feeling. The feeling frightened her, making her heart pound inside her chest and beat against her ribs like an innocent criminal, caged in, alone, with their worst and greatest fear. Her lips parted and her hat fell off her head in the light wind, falling to the ground and spilling her wild, rebellious midnight hair around her shocked face.
This felt significant in some way, like the end of a chapter. The end of everything she thought she knew.
Everything she thought she was sure became unknown.
What would happen next?
The father would thank her and she would be on her way?
That wasn't what she meant.
What would happened with the rest of her life? Tomorrow? The day after? Or the day after that?
Who is Shishi Hijime? Or is it, Shishi Goro? Or even, the Scarlet Angel?
So many names, so many faces.
The name of a trained officer, Shishi Goro? The only female on the force with no real motivation and a snarky attitude?
The name of a secret 6th Kyoto battalion fury, the Scarlet Angel? A woman dressed in red, from her shoes to her lips, an erotic courier of death by wicked means and a cold blade?
Or Shishi Hajime, the daughter of the Shinsengumi wolf, Saito, the host to his art form and legacy?
Aku Soku San
Those words whispered in her mind like taunting velvet. Her first vow, to her father.
To uphold the peace and protect the innocent.
Her second Vow, made to Kyuzo himself. She remembered the proud look on his face…the wrong face…
To make you proud of me, and prove my worth to you! I will show you I am a daughter to be proud of! You will not regret that I was born!
Her third vow, the closest to her heart…the one she made to herself many years ago.
And finally…it was shattered.
"This is Saito's daughter Shishi. She will be Saito's new trainee I believe. Isn't that right inspector?"
"Is that true!"
"Yes father, it is."
Kikyo and her father were still hugging, Uchino standing know with his daughter in his arms, kissing her face like he feared her dead.
"And where do you think you are going?"
"To inform the commander of the good news."
"I haven't made my decision just yet, Sir."
"W what do you mean father?" Shishi said with nervous alarm. "You will trail me, won't you?" but he said nothing. "Daddy…?"
"No." She could see him in her mind's eye, coldly turning his back and walking away from her. Without a second thought. "And you can tell the commissioner or whoever gave that order the same answer as well."
"But…" Shishi looked frozen. "Daddy…"
The numbness grew, engulfing not only her body, but her mind, heart and soul. She felt like ice, shivering in her own misery.
"I have trained ALL MY LIFE for you! When other girls were sitting with their mothers learning how to cook and sow and dance and sing and all that other crap, I was holding a sword and almost breaking my back in the middle of the sweltering sun all day, and nearly all night! Mother was the one who had to make you tell me to stop!"
"Shishi-"
"I'M NOT FINISHED!" She screamed in her mind, and stepped right up to him, chest to chest and facing him square on. Shishi had never challenged him before in her life, before that day. "I have dedicated my entire life to prove myself to you! In battle, AND out! I joined the police force to be like you! I trained under the Gatotsu teachings to be like you! I want to prove myself to you!"
"You stupid child." He spat. It was then, she thought, that the truth finally sank in. and in that moment, without realising it, her father had killed her. And at the same time, planted a certain seed within her chest that would lay dormant, and fester, and burn, and bubble. Seeping through every nerve in her body until she was consumed by it.
Hatred? Malice? Vengeance? Rebellion? Or temptation?
"I only want to prove myself to you, you self centred, sarcastic, cold hearted bastard that I idolised my entire life around! Even myself!"
"Poor kid." Sano had sighed, but in such a rage, would you have allowed such a pathetic creature to show you pity? Infront of Saito Hijime? What a weakness…
"Stay out of this you fucking rooster head!"
"Shishi I have had enough of this outrageous behaviour. When we get home-"
"I'm not coming."
There.
That was it.
The moment she unknowingly, unwillingly threw all her hard work away, all her dreams, her vow to herself, and changed the rest of her life.
Saito had frozen, looking to her.
"What…did you just…say?"
"I, am not, coming." Oh to be him! Void of any feeling, untroubled by his actions or words. Oh, but she was his daughter! If he wanted to act indifferent, aloof, then she could to! Her tongue felt so bitter now, why stop just there? "If you will not allow me to prove myself to you, whom I requested…" He even had the nerve to look away from her... "…then I have no father and thus, I have no home."
I have no father…I have no home. alone…
Kikyo, her image, came into her mind then. Alone, crying, desperately begging for her father, afraid…and she had only wanted to dump her off somewhere and didn't care. She still didn't understand why she had actually helped in the first place.
Before she could even blink, arms were around her. Shishi was so stunned, she forgot to take breath.
"Thank you so much. If you hadn't have brought her back to me, I don't know what I would have done." Shishi's wavering Amber eyes, completely unguarded, watched as the man with the tear stained, happily smiling face looked to her, and held her at arm's length. "Ask of me anything, any price, any reward. I could never do enough for what you have done for me. Nothing is more precious to me than my daughter."
Nothing is more precious to me than my daughter. If only…
Her heart twisted in her chest, as if his very words had hurt her, stabbed her there. If only…if only he had…said that…about…
Shishi quickly shook her head, blinked back any threatening tears, and resumed her bored, guarded demure.
"No need. I was simply doing my job."
"But…but surely there must be something you want? Trust me, name it, and I will give it to you." He nodded frantically. Kikyo was still clinging to his leg, looking up at her…and smiling?
"Domo Arigato, Officer Goro-Chan." She sniffled a giggle.
"Kikyo! Don't be rude to the officer, call her Sama, not chan."
"But she's so young and pretty. I couldn't tell with your hair in your hat, Goro sama." Kikyo bowed her head, and never realised how her words had shocked her. No one had ever called her 'pretty'. No one who meant it for innocent reasons, or meant it. Just scum and taunts.
"…Arigato Kikyo-chan." Shishi nodded her head, and looked to her hat.
On the floor.
Crumpled leaves laid on it, like a forgotten relic. Part of the past. My past…
Shishi bent over and retrieved it, brushing it off with her immaculate white gloves and placing it on her head once more. She was just about to tuck her hair up in it when Kikyo shook her head vigorously.
"Don't do that Goro sama! You look prettier without it!"
"Kikyo, mind your manners. Goro sama is an officer, and her hat is apart of her uniform."
"Here." Shishi placed her once beloved had on Kikyo's head. "I think it suits you better." She nodded, the most tender she had ever been (not smiling, of course), and looked Uchino in the eye. "I do have something I want. But nothing you can give me.. Next time, ensure your daughter is accompanied on her future adventured. Arigato, and good day sir." Shishi said softly, bowed her head, and left.
She walked calmly through the streets of Kyoto, seemingly untroubled, but a surge of emotions, branched out into vigorous streams of many desires, many regrets, like a tree of sadness in her heart. The fruits of this tree, the stored tears that continued to build up. The same tears, she was incapable of shedding.
By sheer chance, she walked straight into the chest of a godly tall man, and looked up.
In that moment, at her most vulnerable, she had the same eyes as Kikyo, scared of what will happen next, wanting nothing more than the embrace and reassurance of her father.
Who she saw, was someone entirely different…
"My…what sad eyes. I'm afraid we'll have to do something about them, my dear."