Loneliness is very painful.
He opened his eyes and took in the light, a sense of loneliness flooding in. It felt too warm. Normally, warmth was appreciated, but this morning it was a frustrating mock. So he rid of it quickly and rolled off the bed.
"Ritsuka?"
"What?" he said, already moving towards the bathroom.
"Where are you going?"
"School."
"It's too early."
"I'm awake."
Ritsuka shut the door behind him.
Strange. Soubi shook his head clearer and stretched before getting up himself. He was surprised when the shower started. Showering this early in the morning? What's wrong with him? Soubi watched the door for a moment and shrugged then went to prepare breakfast until Ritsuka was done so he can use the bathroom after.
By the time the shower went off, breakfast was already on the table and Ritsuka's lunchbox was sitting on the counter.
Ritsuka had a towel over his head when he did come out, fully dressed.
Soubi smiled. "My turn. Go on and have breakfast."
Ritsuka silently sat at the table and picked up the chopsticks.
Soubi, without question, walked into the room then to the bathroom.
Ritsuka poked his food until Soubi came back and stood at the threshold.
"Why aren't you eating?"
"I'm not hungry."
Soubi leaned his head on the doorframe.
Ritsuka kept poking. He looked up at Soubi. "Why are you just standing there?"
"What do you want me to do?"
"Whatever," he replied going back to moving his food around the plate.
"Ritsuka?"
He looked at Soubi again.
"Are you angry? Have I done something to upset you?"
"Does something have to be wrong for me not to be hungry?"
Soubi kept silent.
"I had a dream."
Soubi kept listening.
"I know why my name is Loveless." Ritsuka put his chopsticks down. "Because I shall be loveless forever. I am the one without a partner, without love to recieve, and without love to give."
Ritsuka got up.
Soubi remained silent.
Ritsuka put his jacket on and pulled the bag over his shoulder.
"And that is why Seimi told you to become my fighter. He knew that. You know that. And now, I know that too. I don't need anyone who doesn't put me first. I'd rather be loveless than almost loved."
Ritsuka closed the door after himself.
Soubi looked at the forgotten lunchbox.
"Did you love Seimi?"
"…Aa."
"Is that why you love me? Because I remind you of him?"
Soubi frowned.
Is this what this is all about?
"He forgot his lunch."