AN – I don't know why I wrote this, there has to be something seriously wrong with me but maybe someone will like it… All in all pretty disturbing stuff here, twisted and disturbing kinky McShep even though they don't even kiss.

Summary – '"This is, quite frankly, the most disgusting and despicable plan you've ever had," Rodney murmured darkly.' This is wrong, just wrong, twisted and disturbing, read with care. Kink McShep.

Rating – R (even though probably not the ideas alone…)

Disclaimer – If you think I own them you're more in need of help than I am and looking at this fic that's saying something, believe me

Base Instincts

"This is, quite frankly, the most disgusting and despicable plan you've ever had," Rodney muttered darkly as they walked through the near-silent corridors.

John rolled his eyes. "Don't start, Rodney. This is your kink," he hissed.

Rodney snorted. "Oh, like you can seriously tell me that you didn't like the idea when I told you about it. John, there is no way this would ever have occurred to you if you didn't and let me tell you something, it's sick and twisted!"

"And yet you're still following me," John pointed out and Rodney shot him a withering glare.

"You're-"

"Sssh," John cut him off and strolled casually into the room.

"At ease, Lieutenant," he ordered and Ford relaxed. "Listen, McKay's got some tests to do and since I have to keep an eye on him you might as well take off."

He gave Ford a rueful grin and a long-suffering sigh and Ford, good little soldier that he was, didn't question why they were there at three in the morning or why Rodney looked so uncomfortable.

Then again, both of those things could be considered normal for Rodney so maybe it's not that surprising.

Ford saluted again and left, John grinned at Rodney as he walked down the corridor.

"Piece of cake."

Rodney nodded, looking nervous.

John eyed him. "You know, we don't have to do this." Rodney glowered and John held up his hands in surrender. There was silence for a long moment before John spoke again.

"I never really got this kink," he confessed. "The public thing that is, or the exhibitionist one for that matter."

Rodney looked at him in disbelief. "You never got it? You never got it? How the hell not? It's about possessiveness and the knowledge that no one else can have what belongs to you, marking them off limits and claiming and being claimed in the basest, most primal sense."

John paused. "I think I might have been insulted there."

Rodney ignored him. "I have to say though, I would never have expected this solution. I know we couldn't do this in front of anyone from Atlantis but this is…"

He waved his hands and a voice interrupted them suddenly.

"You will not break me."

Rodney started and John glared at the Wraith before he smirked lightly.

"We will, eventually, but not tonight. We're not here for torture tonight."

Rodney looked at him and John grinned. "'Claiming and being claimed in the most primal sense' and 'marking off limits'," he quoted. "Who better to do that in front of than the enemy? You're mine, McKay, and no one gets to forget it." He nodded at Steve. "Especially not them."