Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter
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He loved her with his heart it was eating his organs and brain which Ron said did not exist at all anyway but no it was there intact and it was connected to billions of tiny love cells and they were being eaten slowly
One
By
One
Slowly
Eaten
Up
By
Love
Oh the horrors how could he love her because she was his best friend and just like a sister she would be so grossed out and scream Harry you dope and I don't mean drugs it's like incest and that is just utterly gross like really
Gross
Like when Draco Malfoy kissed him and Ginny at the same time yesterday when Dumbledore died and everyone was so sad he had run to her room and shagged her accidentally when she was with Malfoy
Gross
And she would not love him if she knew about the shagging bit so now he had to go bribe Malfoy and Ginny to keep damn quiet like castle mice who woke him up at night with the unstoppable squeaking so maybe not like castle mice but more like dead mice
Quiet
Love
Me
Aha! She could not stop loving him even though she tried to forget about him everytime she thought about him because he was her best best friend and it is so gross because she was like a sister to him and it would ruin their friendship and being a smart and sensitive Griffindore who was also very sensible she did not want to ruin it but instead keep it forever because Griffindorians are good friends
Like
Me
Chomp
Chomp
Chomp
The love was eating away at him again forevermore and it would not stop even though he asked them too like please stop eating me because it hurts so bad like when I fell down a well when I was only 6 and scraped my knee on a stone and broke my front teeth and my bones fell out even though they really cant
It hurts so bad
Like muscle ache after Kwiddeetch practice
Like PMS and menustruational cramps when they came at that time of the month and she remembered Harry's concerned face when she had doubled over into her cauldron during Potions this morning at night because he had said oh dear me Hermione are you okay let me wipe your hair for you and she thought it was so sweet and thoughtful and maybe it her imagination she saw something askin to love in his big gleaming owl-like eyes
He was like her owl
She could imagine him swooping down and catching mice for her to eat with chocoloate frogs and to give their equally sparkly eyed owlets named Tom, Dick and Harry Junior like Giordano Junior and that was so cool thought Hermione, who was a sensible Griffindorian
So sensible
He thought
She was so beautiful like the time she fell into the cauldron and he could just imagine making love to her while the potion dripped drabbled and stuck to the gorgeously ugly hair because the potiuoin was green and her hair was brown and Hermione was his tree over troubled waters that he could climb over to get to the other side of love
SEX
Hermione thought about it so often that she began to think about the time which was yesterday and she saw Harry accidentally shag Ginny Wealsey and she knew that he knew that she knew that he knew that she didn't know that she thought that he thought the she knew and thought that he didn't know that Malfoy's ass was really hot
Like a summer's day and you have to wear thin clothes or burn
But she must not think about Malfoy she must think about Harry everyday and moan that she could not tell him even though she needed to if not she may just break up and break down and break away
Like the Kelly Clarkson song
She would spread her wings with her owlets Tom, Dick and Harry Junior like Giordano Junior like because rising phoenixes will fly and sinking dragons will fall and get stuck in the lake
So badly
So badly
He wanted to tell her everforevermore about his undying painful love that threatened to erupt like bad acne on Ron oh no there was Ron oh dear there was Ron oh shit there was Ron who was tall and red unlike his sister who was short and pretty and redder
Ron would kill him
Oh no the Ron
Oh wait Ron would kill Ginny first for going out with Draco and accidentally shagging me with Draco naked but he looked like a ferret who was naked but he is still hot but no I am not bi at all because Hermione would die from the schock of my biness if she knew about this
I cannot tell Harry he loves me because he would hate me
I cannot tell Hermione she loves me because she would hate me
I love Harry to shreds like when his broomstick broke and shattered
I love Hermione to pieces like when Crookshanks tore her book up
I cannot
I cannot also
Forever we will stay sad and untelling like teller machines that cheat my sickles and don't tell
Then suddenly all of a sudden there were multiple screams that resonated through the ceilings and into their ears and eardrums and brains which were being eaten up slowly and their love could not be or could it because Voldiermot came to stay for supper and kill people while he was at it with the pumpkin juice as orange as Ron was red as his large pimples.
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CLIFFEEEEEEEEEE!
R/R and hang on for the next chappie!
I promise it will be even better!