Don't own Twilight, or Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Fans of the show should recognize the Santiago Drunkenness Scale.
The entire pack was watching Bella Swan dance with the imprints. Jake was shaking his head trying to hide his laughter, even as Quil handed her another bottle. Everybody was in a state of shock. She had gone from being very loud to some wild dancing. She kept swaying side to side as she downed the next bottle.
Four Drink Bella
I felt my movements slow as the fourth wine cooler started affecting me, and I started looking around the bonfire. My eyes settled on Paul, and I approached him, swaying my hips. "I don't dance Swan." He told me, holding his hands up as if to say 'don't even think about it'.
When I reached him though, I just took his hands, and placed them over my breasts. I didn't notice the sudden silence around us. I didn't give him a chance to get over his shock before I straddled his lap and ran my tongue up his neck. "Mmmm you taste so good."
He moved his hands away, and I pouted. "You don't know what you're doing Swan."
I pulled his earlobe into my mouth and nibbled on it. "I know exactly what I'm doing Lahote." I kissed down his neck from his earlobe and lightly bit his shoulder.
He put his hands on my waist and tried to push me off of his lap. "Swan, you're intoxicated, I don't take advantage of vulnerable women."
I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist, locking my ankles together. My fingers fisted in his hair as I pulled his head back to lock our eyes together. "I'm not vulnerable Paul." I felt his body twitch as I purred his name. I leaned forward to nibble his jaw line, and felt it tense under my ministrations. "They should sell your scent. Musk, woods, sex, and cinnamon."
"Swan." His voice sounded strangled as I moved my arm enough to run my nose up his neck. "You need to stop."
I leaned back a little, and could feel the fire in my eyes as I looked at him. "What I need is not to stop. I need to be touched." I pressed my front against him. "You call me Leech lover, but he never touched me. Called me breakable, and vulnerable." I ran my nose up the column of his throat. "Your scent drives me crazy. It sets me on fire. It's so hard to contain myself around you."
"If I'm what you want, then talk to me when you're sober." He said, trying to push me away again.
I squeezed my legs tighter, gripped his hair, and pressed my lips against his. Fire burned in my abdomen as I was set aflame by the tingling on my lips. My grip around his waist must have loosened, because we were suddenly standing, and he was holding me away with his hands on my arms. I could see the heat in his eyes as well. "Do you not think I'm pretty?"
"Talk to me when you're sober." Was all he said before walking off.