Postsecrets: The Naruto Chronicles
Disclaimer: I don't own, even if Kakashi is the sex.
The next morning was a strange one in the Umino household. It was very strange, indeed.
You see, Naruto wasn't sure how to handle the situation with Sasuke. He knew his dream meant something, and he remembered everything before the incident. He didn't think he could imagine that. Still, it wasn't everyday you have homosexual tendencies towards your roommate. Naruto just pondered this while he nibbled on his toast with strawberry jam. You could tell he was thinking, as he did not like strawberry jam.
Sasuke was in an awkward position. He didn't want to see Naruto after hurting him. He was lucky Kakashi let him take his room the night before… Sasuke really couldn't bear to see Naruto hurt. So, Sasuke got up and left early.
Kakashi woke up with a little problem. It didn't help that Iruka's arm was laid over him, or that he had a certain dream involving this person. It also didn't help that Iruka kept snuggling closer and closer! Honestly, was he a snuggle bear or something? Well, he hoped that nick-name would never come about. So, shuddering as he did so, he got out of bed and ran (quite literally) to the shower. He would need a nice, cold shower after waking up next to Iruka.
Iruka was having an odd morning because he was confused as to why Kakashi left him in the bed alone. Did Kakashi not like him? Was he really that unbearable to sleep with? A little upset that he was that bad, he got up to make breakfast, only to find Naruto nibbling on some toast with strawberry jam. Something was amiss. After all, Naruto did not like strawberry jam.
"Naruto, is something wrong?" Iruka walked over to Naruto, who still appeared to be off in his own dream world.
"Hm? Oh… Um… No." Naruto frowned, biting into the jam once more.
"Are you sure?"
"Uh… sure." Naruto never was a good liar, Iruka could see something was indeed the matter.
"Naruto, it would be easier to talk this over. If we do this now, we may not have to deal with Sasuke," Iruka said, hoping that a mention of Sasuke not being there would cheer Naruto up. Of course, this just plunged Naruto even deeper into thought.
"Iruka, is it weird to have a dream?" Naruto asked, still nibbling on the jam. Iruka was now wondering if Naruto was sick. After all, Naruto was always the one talking about dreams.
"Naruto, are you feeling alright?" Iruka raised his own hand onto the forehead of Naruto's. Naruto didn't feel warm.
"I'm serious! I wanna know!"
"Well… to my knowledge you're the one always talking about dreams." Iruka was thoroughly confused.
"Not like those dreams! I mean the dreams you have at night!" Naruto was getting frustrated. He loved Iruka and all, but Iruka could be a dunce at times.
"Oh! Well, what about them?"
"Well, I had a dream last night… It was really strange," Naruto said nervously.
"Strange how?" Iruka asked, more concerned than before. He always wanted Naruto to be alright. After all, Naruto's real father did save his life. He owed something to that.
"I had a dream… It was before the," Naruto paused in speech, almost as though the next word was a sin to be unspoken, "… incident."
Iruka all of a sudden pulled out a chair and sat near Naruto, truly concerned. The doctors had always said these things would never come back! The memories were blocked out by trauma, they said. They said the trauma would always be there, and it may not be better to remind him. "What were you dreaming, Naruto?" Iruka gulped, slightly worried about what the answer might be.
Then, a taller figure walked into the room. It was Kakashi. Iruka did not want to worry Kakashi about Naruto's emotional problems, so he simply mouthed to Naruto, "We'll talk later."
Kakashi looked at the two of them. "Ah, Naruto! I didn't know you liked strawberry jam! I'll have to get some later." With that, Kakashi walked out.
"Why would he think I liked strawberry jam?" Naruto asked, taking another bite of his toast. "Yuck! Who the hell made this?"
At school
Naruto would attempt to seek out Sasuke, but it appeared as though Sasuke was avoiding him. Why in the world would Sasuke avoid me? Naruto thought. Just yesterday he was stalking me! This doesn't make any sense! The bell rang for lunch, and the students filed out.
Naruto frantically was looking for Sasuke, when a manatee popped out at him. This wouldn't be out of the normal, only… Well, this certain manatee was purple and accompanied by Big Bird. The manatee then whispered something along the lines of "troublesome".
"What… in… God's… name?" Naruto stared. The two creatures stood still for a moment. Then… it happened.
Naruto started to run away from these creatures, when he ran right into Sasuke. Though, the situation soon turned into 'He ran onto Sasuke'. You see, Naruto knocked the pretty boy over, and they were nose to nose.
Until the ostrich ran onto Naruto's back in an attempt to catch Naruto, forcing Naruto's lips onto Sasuke's. The ostrich immediately ran off, scared of some death glares coming from random ostrich-haters.
As soon as the weight was brought off of Naruto, he pulled up for air.
"What the hell was that all about, moron?" Sasuke looked at Naruto for an explanation. Was the idiot attempting to make a fool of him, or did he mean it? Well… at least the idiot's blood was back, otherwise the pretty blush would not be adorning his face at the moment.
"A pink bird was chasing me! A really big bird!" Naruto screamed.
Sasuke looked both ways. There was no pink bird. What in the world was Naruto talking about? "Naruto… Did the bump hurt your brain to the point of hallucinating?"
"No! There was this big pink bird! And there was a purple manatee!"
Sasuke paused, as if in thought. "Was there a pretty green unicorn too?" Two could play at this game.
"No! Just the big bird and manatee!" Naruto exclaimed, with a serious face.
"Ah, I see."
"You better see! Bastard!" Naruto stormed off.
Somewhere else on campus
"Sakura, the plan was a success. They kissed, even!" Lee was jubilant that his plan had actually worked!
"Really?" Sakura was surprised that a stupid plan that involved ostriches would work. "Well… That's nice?"
"Would you be my girlfriend?" Lee attempted his line once more. Maybe she was in a good mood with him.
"Lee, your eyebrows are too bushy."
"Oh." Lee walked away defeated.
On the walk home
Sasuke and Naruto were walking home, not saying a word. It was awkward enough to have to walk together after the kiss.
"So… Naruto…" Sasuke decided to break the silence.
"Um… yeah?" Naruto had never been in this situation before. Then again, not many people were in the position of walking next to a childhood crush who liked you and you didn't remember and you just now kissed after being reunited. Maybe it was normal to be a little weirded out.
"Could we not mention the… kiss to Kakashi?" Sasuke was blushing at this point. It was hard to put things like this bluntly.
"Why would I? It was embarrassing for me too, bastard!" Naruto picked up his pace, walking ahead of Sasuke.
Sasuke stayed behind Naruto, not wanting to catch up. Apparently he was serious about the big pink bird, and Sasuke made a fool of himself asking about green unicorns. He made sure to ask Iruka if Naruto always hallucinated.
At the dorms of DOOM
The dorms of DOOM earned their name well. They were well known for "building character". Of course, to the founder of the school "building character" meant that people least likely to get along would be put into a room together, or the people were next-door neighbors. It was nearly a tradition for the cops to be called in near the end of the year, due to the tension caused between neighbors and roommates. Often they'd room a pervert with a prude, such as the instance in 2000, when a gun was fired into someone's arm. After that, porn was banned from the campus. Of course, some students (and one new teacher) fought for the right to read porn. The headmaster was currently reviewing it, in all sincerity possible. The new teacher was threatening to leave if he didn't get his "diplomatic rights" to read trash in public.
Getting back to the dorms, Sakura, Temari, and Tenten were all roommates. For the most part, they got along. But, there were those times when they didn't get along. Like the time Tenten was throwing knives. That was indeed a moment to prove the females were "building character". Or maybe the time that Temari had fans blowing air through the flat. All of their homework was swallowed by the windows. "Building character" was held with high regard.
The next door over, it would appear more character was being built. You see, Kiba was rooming with Lee and Neji. One would assume Kiba and Lee would get along, but in truth, Kiba made fun of Lee. Neji thought they were both much too loud. Lee hated Neji, and Kiba thought he was a bastard.
One might wonder why Kiba hated Neji. No, it wasn't quite because he was Hinata's boyfriend or his horrid body odor at times. The dog he kept wasn't that bad (given it made a point to always poop on Neji's side of the flat)! No, it was the porn. You see, one evening Kiba was looking at porn. Neji heard him giggling like an insane maniac. Neji got curious. Neji looked at the magazine. Neji saw pictures of Hinata doing things. Many things. Neji stole the magazine and flushed it down the toilet, page by page.
Luckily, they got along with their neighbors! Well, except that one time Kiba made a pass at Temari, and her 'creepy' brothers attacked him, along with Shikamaru. And that time Tenten nearly hit Neji with a knife when she was throwing them. She did hit Lee, and he was in the infirmary all night, along with Sakura. Sakura didn't want to, but no one else would.
That night was different, though. It was party time! After all, Sasuke and Naruto had kissed! Everyone involved in Plan: Kangaroo was invited, and for once only a few fights happened.
"Sakura," Lee mumbled. "Be my girlfriend!"
"Of course, Lee!" Sakura exclaimed, clearly drunk. Someone had spiked the drinks (some suspected Temari, but there was no evidence).
Gaara stood there, sad that his love was going after Sakura. He didn't like the girl one bit.
"Gaara, talk to him! For God's sake, he could like you a ton!" Temari whispered harshly to her brother. "And if not, he's drunk. Have 'im for one night, huh?" She giggled and ran into a room with Shikamaru.
Sighing, Gaara walked over to Lee. He didn't want a one night stand, but maybe, just maybe, he could get Lee to say something.
"Lee?"
"Mr. Ostrich?" Lee squinted his eyes, looking at the red blob in front of him.
"No, it's me, Gaara," Gaara said, insulted that he was called an ostrich. He wanted to be a manatee.
"Righteous! Groovy raccoon man!" Lee said, in a horrible Austin Powers imitation.
"Right… See you later." Gaara quickly ran away. He'd be damned if he was to confess his love to Lee, while Lee was Austin Powers, and he was a raccoon.
At the Umino household
Sasuke was sitting at the table, minding his own business, when Iruka walked in.
"So, how was your day, Sasuke?" Iruka smiled at Sasuke.
"Hn."
"Did you find anything new or interesting?"
"Hn."
"Did Naruto say anything to you?"
"Something about a pink ostrich and a purple manatee."
"Right," Iruka slowly backed away from Sasuke. He turned to the counter to begin chopping vegetables for a dinner. He heard the door open once more, and he turned to see Kakashi, whose hair was an odd periwinkle color.
"Kaka…shi?" Iruka could not believe his eyes. First purple manatees and now periwinkle hair?
"Don't… ask."
Sasuke looked up from his book to see Kakashi. Sasuke slowly walked out of the room, up the stairs, and into his room. A door slam was heard, followed by a 'what the hell, you bastard, I was getting dressed!', followed by a thud, then a 'do you need a tissue? Your nose is bleeding a lot!'. Iruka stood, looking at Kakashi.
"Can I ask?"
"No." The reply came quickly, and terse.
"Will I ever find out?"
"No."
With that, Iruka finished chopping the vegetables. Some things may be better not to ask.
"I got attacked by a purple manatee."
Iruka stared at Kakashi. Were Kakashi and Sasuke playing some joke on him? Then again, with Kakashi's hair dyed purple, the joke could be on anyone.
"That's odd. Sasuke was just saying something about a purple manatee."
"Was he?"
"Well, he said Naruto saw a purple manatee."
"Where?" Kakashi asked, grabbing Iruka's shoulders.
"I have no clue."
"Damn it! I need answers!" With that, Kakashi ran up the stairs into Naruto's room, where he saw Naruto shirtless, and holding something up to Sasuke's nose.
"Oh, I'm sorry I walked in. Remember to use protection!" Kakashi ran out, very quickly, only to run back in. "Where did you see the manatee, Naruto?"
"In the cafeteria."
"I see, I see…" With those words, Kakashi ran out once more.
Downstairs, Iruka was sitting at the table, sipping some drink while he waited for the dinner to finish. "Kakashi, where are you going?"
"Going to buy hair-dye."
"You aren't going to kill the manatee?"
"What do you take me for, a psycho?" Kakashi ran out the front door, to get hair-dye. He ran back in a few moments later. "Do you want anything?"
Iruka shook his head. "Just come back in one piece."
"Will do." With that, Kakashi was off once more.
Iruka stood up slowly, and walked over to check on the dinner. He slowly went to go sit back down. Then he laughed long and hard. After all, it would be cruel to laugh at a man whose hair was periwinkle. At least, while the man was still in the room.
Later that night
Kakashi's hair was back to its normal color, Iruka made a good dinner, and Sasuke's nose stopped bleeding. Still, Iruka had not talked to Naruto, and he had a sneaking suspicion that something was up between Naruto and Sasuke.
Naruto was happily going upstairs to sleep (Sasuke in tow), when a phone rang in the kitchen.
"Hello?" Iruka picked up the phone.
"Hello, is Kakashi there? He'd better be!" the woman on the other line did not sound happy.
"Um…" Iruka looked to Kakashi, who was shaking his hands wildly. He obviously did not want the phone call. "No."
"Well, that's just great!" the woman was screeching into Iruka's ear. "He must be out drinking, while you keep care of the home! Damn him!"
"Ma'm, what do you mean?" Iruka was attempting to remain calm.
"My daughter was caught at a party with liquor! Drunk!"
"I'm sorry to hear that, Mrs…?"
"Haruno."
"Then, you are Sakura's mother?"
"Yes. Are you a teacher at that school?"
"Well, that's what I get paid for," Iruka was speaking as to not upset the woman.
"I would hope so! She's just so out of hand! I mean, she was fine at home, but now she's gone insane!"
"I can assure you she's quite the bright student. Why she would consider drinking is beyond me…" Iruka was hoping to save Sakura's hide.
"Do these things happen often at that dorm?"
"Not often, no."
"Not often? I'm making her leave that school!"
"Wait! Um… She could stay with Kakashi, so a more careful eye could be kept on her!" Iruka knew Gai was… Gai because he was rejected by women. He would not let Lee be the same. Lee had hope! Sakura could help!
"In a home with 2 unmarried men, and 2 teenage boys? I think not!" Sakura's mother was a force to be reckoned with.
"Please don't remove her from the school! She is such a brilliant student!" Iruka once again attempted to make Sakura's mother realize that he really wanted Sakura to stay at the school.
"I realize that, but if drinking continues…"
"I can assure you that the school will be tough on them!"
"That's not enough! She was going to sleep with a boy!"
Iruka's eyes widened. "What was the boy's name?"
"Rock Lee!"
Iruka cursed under his breath. "I see… Well, don't take her out! I'm certain the school will take appropriate action!"
"I demand they start a program to show the dangers of it!"
"Drinking?"
"No, sex!"
"Oh. Um… You got a deal!" Iruka agreed. Anything to keep another Gai out of the world would be done. Anything.
"Alright. I plan to hear about it."
Iruka hung up the phone, sighing. Kakashi looked at him. "What did you just do?"
"I think there is going to be a sex education class soon."
"I'll bring my porn!" Kakashi ran upstairs, grinning under his mask.
"Like hell you will!" Iruka followed him, as sleep fell upon the Umino household.
End Chapter
I'm so sorry I didn't update! I was sick, schoolwork was killing me, and on top of all that, I had dance recitals all weekend. Luckily, I only have strep, and I am feeling slightly better, school work is finished (except for lit…), and dance recitals are over!
Only, now I have those finals coming up… XP I realize I may not make it, but if I do, I will die happy knowing you all loved my chapters I have thus-written.
Also, a special thanks to Scottish wish, for she is the awesome. She is beta-reading for me, so you guys won't have to put up with any grammar/ spelling mistakes. So, remember to thank her as well. Now to reply to other people I thank!
Blue-gejutsu: Of course he remembered! Read above, silly! XD
Midnight Shining Star: Glad you liked it! I meant for it to be like-able! Though, I think it might have been a little angst-y… nn;
Muffin Ruler: So many happy dances! It makes me want to do some of my old hip-hop classes!
BeuitifulDisgrace246: Sorry that I don't have a doujin yet… Though I have begun on some of my ideas for character designs! Yay!
Red Asatari: Yep, yep! Doesn't that make you happy?
Imari-chan: It's ok! I think that in the future I should make my statements a bit more clear… He sends a post-card into this site called "Postsecrets", which is a site I have been obsessed with for so long, so I wrote a fanfiction sorta/ kinda based on it!
swtTom0-chan93: He did remember, and he did take it seriously, just as I take some of my dreams seriously! But… as you see above, nothing's easy on these two!
Moonlitstardestiny: Really? Wow! I will keep an eye on the site and see what it says!
Avila7989: I hope this update gets to all of you!
Ky0Kitchi: Love the name! Glad you like it, I like it as well! w
Narutomania: Hope you got my message… If not, tell me and I'll send it via email! Hooray! A second fan! (does happy dance, combined with a reel step)
iNUYASHAS-only lover-KAGoME: Glad you looked at the site! I think it is awesome!
Scottish Wish: I cannot thank you enough! I'm also glad someone else knows the second part… Not may people do!
Suicidal Affair: A manatee is this fat sea-cow thing (sorta like a whale, but more like a hippo)… They're going extinct, but I think they're so cute! I remember loving them as a little kid, so I decided to add a purple one! XD
Sasuke2006: Naruto was the one hit up-top the head, and thou is worried about Sasuke? I find that hilarious! I enjoyed writing the Kakashi/Iruka scene, and I'm glad you enjoyed reading it!
Tea: Tea! Tee-hee! I had to make her a likable character, or I'd never have a sexy purple manatee! Hmm… Manatee and Tee-hee rhyme… O.o
Herrliche Lilie: If Lee wasn't weird, would he be Lee? I am very glad you like it! (does plain light jig) What? I'm practicing for an upcoming feis (Irish dance competition)!
Mangaluvr: I was hoping I did well with the Kakairu moments… After all, it was my first yaoi pairing that I read! So, I love it!
FXL: Updating… now! MWAHAHAHA!
Kari no Tenshi: Indeed, you are awesome! I ran three miles because my mom's training for a marathon, and I walk/ jog with her. Last night my insane friend came with us! It was quite funny! Yes… be inspired for fanart… BE INSPIRED! XD
Sonicfanatic: Yay! My story's not dumb/ cliché! And I was hoping that would be the case! (does happy dance)
Black Gravitation: Unfortunately, the hot guy ran away. He doesn't like my "boyfriend" (guy that everyone thinks I'm dating, but I don't think I am… I think (?))! So… send more! I loved him while he lasted (sigh). And, I don't know about truckin', but I'll keep on writing!
Naruke: Sorta like those signs that say "don't feed the rhinos", I think I'll feed my fans with a sign that says "feed your fans"! I'll be sure to put it up in my room, and see it every morning! Yay!
LadywolfTerri: He will, but… well, Naruto wouldn't be that easy to get, now would he? (insert crack-ish smile here)
Everything is TROUBLESOME: I think my explanations are in the review replies for each chapter… So, keep reviewing for me, ok?
Luna-chan14: Thanks for your review! Please keep reviewing, and I'll keep on updating.
Sibbie: Thanks! Sorry about the little piggies in bio… I think it'll be fine! Other than that, I suppose it was a touch angst-y… I was sort of going for that… Then again, I can be angst-y if I try! XD
Could I ask you guys about these replies? I like to reply (it makes my day to hear replies to my replies!), but if all you say is "Update soon!" could I please just write a list? I'd reply to the others that asked questions and the like, but I think a list for those that just say to update soon might be easier for me to make… So… could I do that, or would you get angry? I don't want to make anyone angry!
Well, respond after you've read! Thanks!