Postsecrets: The Naruto Chronicles

Disclaim-y goodness: I don't own Naruto, and I sure as heck don't own Sasuke or Kakashi or Iruka. All I own is the plot and these here socks! And they aren't good socks either. They have tons of lint (cries). Also, if anything in this story insults you, I'm sorry. It's hard to stay politically correct with this story. Onto the story, then!

With Sasuke

Sasuke woke up feeling sticky and next to Naruto. In any pervert's mind (and Sasuke was a pervert), one would expect some sex here, some touching there, and maybe a little bit of that, too. However, once Sasuke realized there were some cookie bits in his hair, he realized there was no sex. Unless if it was really kinky. And Naruto didn't seem like the kinky type.

Sighing as he got up, Sasuke realized there was something holding him back. Specifically Naruto's death-grip on his leg. Sasuke was happy, and laid back down for a few minutes.

Then the urge to pee set in.

A man has a few issues in life, like when he will lose his virginity, who to, if he was drunk, and perhaps how much it would cost. Among these needs and concerns includes the urge to pee. Sasuke's bladder release would not come anytime soon with Naruto clinging to him. However, Sasuke could not bring himself to wake up the cute blonde. He just looked so molestable in his sleep.

So, there were 3 possible choices. Sasuke could lie there and ignore the urge to pee, he could wake Naruto up and go pee, or he could go pee with Naruto still clinging to him. However, there were some issues with each solution. The first one wouldn't work because he really had to go. The second wouldn't work, because he liked seeing Naruto that molestable. The third… it could work, if he and Naruto were actually lovers. And they weren't (at least, not yet. Sasuke would have a cow if this wasn't the case eventually). So, he decided on the second choice. The least discomfort for both of them. If only there was a way to pry Naruto off of him without waking the blonde up.

Sasuke saw a crowbar in the corner of the room.

Sasuke wasn't crazy, rest assured. He just had some psychopathic tendencies. He looked at the crowbar, at Naruto, and finally at his crotch (the deciding factor). He looked at Naruto again, only to look at his crotch once more. The crowbar was still in the corner of the room.

Could he really use a crowbar to pull Naruto off? Naruto's grip tightened on Sasuke as if to say "No, it won't. Give up and let me cuddle you." Sasuke sighed. It looked like Naruto was going to have to be woken up.

Right after he kissed Naruto.

Sasuke leaned in, and gently put his lips against the lips of his beloved. He felt the softness of the lips and sighed. If this is not heaven, I don't know what is. His lips are so soft. Sasuke reminded himself to ask Naruto about how his lips were so soft, as he began to nibble on Naruto's lower lip.

Of course, Naruto was beginning to wake up. He was feeling something tingly on his lip. Is it possible for your lips to fall asleep, like your leg? Naruto slowly began to open his eyes.

With Iruka

Iruka had ended up sleeping with Kakashi. Kakashi had said something about being very lonely, and him wanting Iruka to comfort him. Iruka couldn't refuse. Kakashi had ways of being very persuasive.

However, Iruka's moment of contemplation was interrupted when he heard a very high-pitched scream. He and Kakashi both sat up simultaneously. They glanced at each other.

"So… Are you still going to destroy my porn?" Kakashi looked at Iruka.

"You mean you didn't hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"That scream. I think you should go check it out."

"Why? So you can burn my porn?"

"Because I'm too scared. What if a robber broke in?"

"You're avoiding the question."

"What question?"

"Will you destroy my porn?"

"Why would I?"

"I kissed you without your permission."

Iruka blushed at the thought of the happenings of the night before. "I won't destroy your porn! Just go out there!"

"Fine, fine." Kakashi stood up. He then kissed Iruka again, this time more fully than the night before. Kakashi ended up breaking the bond for air, and after looking into Iruka's eyes, he scampered off.

"What… was that?" Iruka asked himself, before touching his lips. Oh well. At least I know I'm not bad to sleep with. He didn't leave this time!

With Naruto

Naruto screamed. Sasuke was kissing him. And nibbling on his lips to boot! "Ah! Get off! I told you I don't do it with guys!"

Sasuke broke off, before seeing Naruto all flustered. Sasuke forgot his urge to pee as soon as he saw Naruto's face. And, because he was horny, he did something he normally wouldn't.

He jumped on top of Naruto, and started to suck on his neck.

Of course, Kakashi chose just that moment to walk in.

"Remember to use protection, boys. I don't want any STDs in this household." Or any male pregnancies. He added mentally. It wasn't possible, but he felt the urge to think it.

"Save me!" Naruto screamed at Kakashi.

"Why?"

"Because I'm about to be molested!"

"And that's a bad thing?"

"…" Naruto thought about it for a second. If he had to be raped, was being raped by Sasuke really the worst thing that could happen? It could be much worse. It could be Neji. Neji didn't seem the type to be gentle the first time.

"That's what I thought. Like I said, use protection!" with those words, Kakashi left the two.

"I'm sorry, Naruto," Sasuke said, as he got up to go to the bathroom. He suddenly felt the urge to pee again.

"…" Naruto said nothing.

Sasuke shrugged and went to the bathroom. He and Naruto had the day off, and he wouldn't waste it.

With Iruka

Upon seeing Kakashi return into the room, Iruka began the Spanish inquisition. "Well? What was going on? What'd you say? Who screamed?"

Kakashi stood there for a moment. "I think Sasuke was about to molest Naruto, but don't worry, I told them to use protection. I think it was Naruto that screamed."

Iruka fumed up. "You… mean… they were about to have … sex… and all you said was 'use protection'?"

"Yes."

"What type of a father are you?"

"One that doesn't care. Besides, Sasuke never really thought of me as his father."

"You aren't his father?"

"No… What would make you think that?"

"I just thought…"

"Nope. I'm not his father. Just a family friend."

"Then, his family…?" Iruka let the question linger in the air.

"Look, you have to work today, and so do I. Let's shower," Kakashi put in a pause. "Hopefully together?" He waggled his eyebrows.

"Get… out… now…" Iruka raised his fist slowly, to accentuate his point.

"Fine…" With a pout, Kakashi was out (A/N: Didn't mean to make that rhyme! XD).

With Sasuke

A newly relieved Sasuke walked into the bedroom he shared with Naruto. However, Naruto was nowhere to be seen.

"Naruto?" Sasuke cautiously asked. Kakashi and Iruka had just left for work. Was Itachi finally back to kill his new family? Sasuke prayed against it, as he grabbed the crowbar from the corner and opened the door to his bedroom. God, no. Not Naruto… Please, anyone but Naruto…

He walked out to find the house eerily quiet. Just like that day… Sasuke thought. The day everything was taken from me…

He slowly made his way to the kitchen, and he held the crowbar above his head as he opened the door.

Luckily, Itachi wasn't there, and Naruto was alive. However, there was one awkward part to the whole deal.

It appeared as though Naruto was masturbating in the kitchen.

It also appeared that Naruto did not see Sasuke come into the kitchen with a crowbar raised above his head.

And (to Sasuke's dismay), it appeared that Naruto was close to the edge.

Any other person would just quietly leave the blonde to the movements of his hand, and excessive moaning. However, Sasuke was not any other person. Sasuke was horny, and Sasuke wanted to see this. So, Sasuke stood in place, watching his blonde moaning, and caressing his member.

"Mm…" Naruto moaned, as he stroked his member at a faster pace. Sasuke could tell he was getting very close to the edge. "Sasuke!" Naruto exclaimed, as some white fluid shot out of his pants, and onto the chair.

Sasuke couldn't take it anymore, and fainted from a very excessive nosebleed.

"Sasuke?" Naruto looked over at Sasuke, who was on the floor, with some blood pooling out of his nose, and a crowbar. above his head. "Sasuke?" Naruto began to shake Sasuke.

An hour later

Sasuke woke up; feeling like a truck hit him. "Erg… Naruto?"

"Sasuke? Are you okay?" Naruto asked, the concern apparent in his voice.

"Y-yeah… I'm fine," Sasuke said, and then all was silent for a moment.

"S-Sasuke?" Naruto began nervously.

"Yes?" Sasuke asked, ready for whatever the blonde may throw at him. Physically or verbally.

"H-how long were you watching?"

Sasuke paused. Should I answer truthfully or lie? If I answer truthfully, he could hate me. Wait, he already does…Well, here goes. "Long enough."

Naruto blushed for a moment. "W-why?"

Sasuke looked at Naruto in disbelief. Naruto wasn't going to kill him? "Well, like I have probably shown, I want you."

Naruto blushed again. "R-really?" He looked away, now trying to hide the very apparent blush.

"Yes, really. Now a question for you, moron," Sasuke said. A smirk was making its way to Sasuke's face.

"G-go ahead." Naruto was once again blushing. If I keep blushing at this rate, I'll probably not only look like a tomato, I'll turn into one! Naruto thought.

"Why were you jacking off in the kitchen?" Sasuke asked, as if he was asking how the weather was.

"Well, um…"

"Go ahead, it's no one but us here, moron."

"Stop calling me a moron, bastard! Anyways, I was jacking off because you started doing that thing to my neck."

"You mean this?" Sasuke said, as he started sucking on Naruto's neck again.

"A-ah, y-yes… t-that…" Naruto said, not believing the amazing sensations running through his system.

"So, would you like help?" Sasuke asked, slowly moving his hand closer and closer to Naruto's crotch.

"W-wait a second, bastard! I-I'm not ready!" Naruto said, as he hastily pushed Sasuke off of him.

"That's alright, I'm willing to wait." Sasuke gave a final nip at Naruto's neck, before standing up and walking towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Naruto asked angrily.

"I'm going to clean up that mess you made in the kitchen. It's not like you'll help. Besides, you probably need to fix that same problem again," Sasuke said, pointing at the growing "problem" in Naruto's pants. "Unless you want me to fix it, of course."

"L-leave now!" Naruto said, throwing a pillow at Sasuke.

"As you wish," Sasuke said as he left.

Naruto was left alone in the room. Stunned, he put his fingers to his neck. Does this mean we're an item now?

With Iruka

Iruka sighed. He hated grading papers. That's why he'd normally get the students to trade and grade. Essays were hell. Unfortunately, his debate class demanded the ability to write essays. Just as he was about to read another essay about Darfur for a student congress, he heard a knock at the door.

"Come on in," Iruka said, desperate for something to do other than grade essays. Essays were horrid.

"Hello, Mr. Umino," Kakashi made himself known. "How would you like to go for lunch?"

Iruka glanced at the clock. It was already noon. He hadn't even gotten half of his grading done. Well, it looks like work is coming home with me anyways. "Sure, why not?"

Kakashi smiled. Yay! Iruka's coming to lunch with me. Wonder if he'll let me pay for him too?

"Where are we going, Kakashi?" Iruka said, as he stood up to leave.

"Wherever you want." Kakashi said quickly.

"Kakashi, you choose. I'd hate to choose a place you hate."

"How about something quick? I have some art to grade, and it looks like you have some papers of your own to grade." Kakashi pointed at the essays.

"That sounds good." Well, so much for a long lunch away from the sufferings of mankind.

"Well, where do you want to go?" Kakashi asked.

"Like I said, I'd hate to choose somewhere you hated!" Iruka said.

"I'll eat anything. Hurry up and choose. I'm hungry," Kakashi looked at Iruka with pleading eyes.

"H-how about Ichiraku? It's pretty close to here, and it's pretty cheap!" Iruka looked at Kakashi with hopeful eyes.

"That sounds wonderful," Kakashi said as he inched closer to Iruka. He then proceeded to pick Iruka up.

"W-wait! What are you doing?" Iruka started hitting Kakashi's arms, but to no avail.

"What does it look like? I'm carrying you." Kakashi began to walk out the door, with Iruka in his arms. Let's see if he'll give in.

"Kakashi! Put me down! What if you drop me?" Iruka began hitting Kakashi's back.

"Well, I might if you keep hitting me. I definitely won't if you don't, though."

"What if I weigh a lot?" Iruka blushed. He hated mentioning his weight. Even if he weighed one hundred and forty pounds, and was skinny for his height (about five feet seven inches), he was self-conscious.

"You don't weigh as much as Gai."

"How does he factor into this?" Iruka flinched, as Kakashi opened the doors to the school and continued walking.

"I've had to carry him before," Kakashi said, shuddering at the thought of the smelly armpits.

"Might I ask why?"

"No," Kakashi said plainly. "By the way, we're here." Part one of operation table is complete.

"Then put me down!"

"Not until we get to our seats."

"Why?"

"Because I like having you in my arms." At that comment, Iruka blushed.

They ate their lunch in silence, and as Iruka stood to get up, Kakashi was in front of him.

"Oh, no you don't. I'm carrying you back, too."

"I'm fine, Kakashi. I can walk on my own, really."

"Fine. But you owe me for this. Bill, please."

"Kakashi, I can pay, really. It's not that much." Iruka was dead serious. He hated to be in debt to a fellow teacher.

"No, I want to pay," Kakashi re-assured his fellow teacher. He wanted to make sure that Iruka would stay in debt until later on that day. He had some great ideas about collecting.

"Are you sure? I'm more that willing to pay my half, at least."

"No. I want to pay for all of it. I'm sure."

"Only if you're really sure."

"I'm really sure." Part two of plan, complete. Now, part three. Iruka will do it on a table.

"Kakashi? Is something wrong? You have a really scary look in your eyes," Iruka said, looking at Kakashi with nothing less than absolute concern and fear in his eyes.

"No, I'm fine."

"Maybe I should take you home early. You really look scary," Iruka said, lifting his hand to touch Kakashi's forehead.

Kakashi grabbed Iruka's hand, and kissed each finer. "I'm fine, really."

Iruka blushed at the simplistic gesture. "I-if you say so…"

"And I do say so."

Kakashi paid the waiter, and they got up to leave the restaurant. They slowly made their way back to the school, Kakashi walking a few steps behind Iruka. He has an incredible ass… I have to have it. Kakashi thought, as he eyed Iruka hungrily.

As they got back into the school, Iruka noticed Kakashi was still following him. "Isn't your classroom that way, Kakashi?"

"It is."

"Then why are you coming this way?"

"I want to see you back."

"That's very kind of you."

"Thank you. I try."

As the two got closer to Iruka's classroom, Iruka couldn't help but feel nervous. Normally Kakashi would do anything possible to avoid him, or so it seemed. It was a mystery to Iruka as to why Kakashi was following him.

"Um, Kakashi?"

"Yes?"

"I'm at my class. Shouldn't you go back to your classroom now?"

"Let's make sure there's nothing bad in your classroom," Kakashi answered almost automatically.

"O…K?" Iruka was confused as to why Kakashi was so intent on spending time with him.

Iruka opened the door to his class and sighed in mock relief. "See? Nothing in here. You should start… Hey! What are you doing?" Iruka stopped mid-sentence to acknowledge the fact that Kakashi was licking his neck.

"Isn't it obvious? I believe I'm licking you," Kakashi answered before going back to the task at hand.

"I mean, why are you doing it?" Iruka asked. He yanked Kakashi's head up from its current position.

"I'm doing it because I thought you'd like it," Kakashi said, disappointed. So much for fucking him on the table. However, as Kakashi got up to leave, Iruka surprised him.

"I-it's not that I don't want it… It's just that this is very sudden." Iruka was blushing to the degree where he could not only be mistaken for a tomato, but also for a red bouncy ball, a radish, or a new shade of lipstick for ladies of the night.

"Is that so? Then, how about this?" Kakashi said, as he slowly undid the button on Iruka's pants.

"Mm… Kakashi… That's… nice…" Iruka was panting and gasping for more. It was very evident he hadn't been touched intimately for quite a while. He responded so wonderfully.

"And… this?" Kakashi asked, as he quickly slid his hand into Iruka's boxers, and grabbed Iruka's member with his hand.

"Ah!" Iruka nearly came at the very light stroke he just received. "F-fuck me, Kakashi!" Iruka grabbed onto Kakashi, and kissed him hard on the lips.

Kakashi smiled against the kiss. Back to fucking him on the table, then. He broke the kiss, and licked Iruka's earlobe. "Then I need you to do something for me."

Iruka panted, as though every breath he took could be his last. "W-what?"

"I need you to suck on my fingers. I don't want it to hurt the first time for you, all right?"

"I-it's not my f-first," Iruka said shamefully. "T-this is my second time…"

Kakashi could not believe it. Iruka certainly did seem like the type to have not done it in his twenty-seven years of existence. "Alright, then you should be a little used to the concept, right?"

"N-not really… I n-need to know what to do…" Iruka was panting even harder, and grabbed Kakashi's crotch, to show his evident need for release.

"Alright, suck on my digits, then I'll stretch this," Kakashi used his other hand to ghost over Iruka's opening, "and then, I'll put this," Kakashi moved Iruka's hand closer to the head of his throbbing member, "into this," Kakashi once again moved his own hand closer to Iruka's opening. "Make sense?"

Iruka nodded, and immediately took Kakashi's fingers into his mouth. Kakashi moaned at the warmness of the cavity. Everything Iruka did was very erotic. Does Iruka know how sexy he is right now? It should be a crime, I swear…"That's enough, Iruka. I can get them in with this amount." Kakashi slowly slid a lone finger into Iruka's firm opening.

Iruka squirmed at the discomfort he felt.

"Relax," Kakashi said, as he kissed Iruka's neck. Iruka nodded to the command, and relaxed. Kakashi then began to move his finger around. Iruka gasped at the feeling as Kakashi hit a certain spot inside of him.

"You like that?" Kakashi whispered to Iruka. Iruka nodded, and moaned what sounded like "yes".

Hearing Iruka moan was nearly enough to send Kakashi over the edge. However, he needed to get inside Iruka. He wanted to cum inside of Iruka. He moved Iruka closer to the table, and bent Iruka over the table. He proceeded to put in another finger, and began to scissor Iruka.

As Iruka moaned once more, Kakashi entered him swiftly. He silenced Iruka's protest with a kiss, telling him the real pleasure would start soon.

Slowly, Kakashi began to move in and out of Iruka. After a few moments, however, Iruka was pushing up against Kakashi, moaning for him to move faster.

Kakashi was more than happy to comply.

As Kakashi moved faster and faster, hitting Iruka's secret spot every time, he felt Iruka's inner muscles tense. Iruka was close to the edge, and he was going to make it as pleasurable as possible. He grabbed Iruka's dick and began pumping it faster and faster.

Iruka's world exploded into a world of white and pleasure. He could not believe how it felt. It felt like flying, but he had something solid to fall back on.

Just moments after Iruka's world exploded, Kakashi's world joined it. He had orgasms before, of course. Still, none were as intense as this one. As he felt it finish, he also wondered if Iruka knew he was this good in bed.

Kakashi leaned over to kiss Iruka. The kiss was sloppy for the two were tired from previous dealings. However, as Kakashi pulled out of Iruka, he stood to leave.

"Kakashi?"

"I'm sorry, Iruka."

"Kakashi?"

"I know you must hate me now."

"Kakashi…"

"But, I want you to know that nothing will stop me from seeing you. I love you too damn much."

"Kakashi."

"I'm sorry. I promise that I'll be out of your house once I find an apartment to live in."

"Kakashi!"

"I mean, it's not like-"

Iruka decided if Kakashi wouldn't respond to his name, he would respond to a kiss. "I want you in my house, I want you in my life, and I want you in my heart! No more 'I'm sorry's. I want you. I need you!"

Kakashi was silent from his ramblings. He was shocked speechless. Someone wanted him? He found no words to describe how he felt, so he kissed Iruka instead. As he held Iruka, he finally felt a sense of belonging somewhere. Well, it looks like Sasuke and I are living in the Umino household permanently.

Kakashi couldn't help but smile against the kiss.

End Chapter

Whew! That was the longest chapter yet! Man, that was fun… So many reviews, too! 151! Man, it made me all happy. It also made me do my happy dance (I'm serious, A-chan can attest to that).

Along that note, I'd like to dedicate this chapter to MusicLuvre and A-chan. Even thogh A-chan is tickling my neck right now (I think she wants to read it (especially the lemon)). Wait, she moved onto my boobies! No! Not my boobies! (XD)

Well, other than that, I'd like to note a one-shot has come out, and I wrote it. It's short, but I figure it's worth a visit! So, go visit it! I'm also going to post a new multi-chapter story soon, and it's a Leesaku, with hints of Sasunaru! So, I think all you lovely readers would enjoy that (or so I hope!). This is also the reason why I didn't post anything for a week. I was at the beach! It was so much fun… There were so many hot guys I wanted to make make out with one another! XD

Speaking of you lovely readers, here are the replies to the bunches of reviews I got!

Midnight Shining Star: Thanks for reading! I'm glad I can post this, at long last!

Sasuke2006: I really liked that scene, too! It made me giggle a lot…

Blue-genjutsu: Lee's a match-maker and doesn't know it! I will have to write in a scene where he discovers this (even if the world might 'splode.)

Tea: I would get upset, too! You have no idea about the evil-ness of policy debate! I'm glad I get the summer off! (smiles)

Sibbie: Well, at times it's hard to imagine any couple working out! Especially with Sasuke's man-bitchy-ness… XD

Uzumaki Ryooki: It's sort of riverdancing, but we do something that's like clogging, too… It's an insane thing! I wrote the squirrels in because of my fear of them… God, I hate squirrels… I sort of took your advice, but not really… I just thought it would be a good thing to do!

NycetaScandiaca: I hope this chapter came out at a more convenient time!

MusicLuvre: I enjoy your awesome PM! I shall send a reply once I'm all caught up on fanfiction… I really need to check everywhere for updates and stuff… I think I might die, though… O.o

Shadows.4leaf.Clover: Oh! Do be nice and donate! It would be awesome if you did! Other than that, I hope you really liked this chapter!

Kari no Tenshi: Yep. Irish dance. It kills me… Chances are I'll start helping with the summer camps… Fun. Little children clinging to me.

Silver fox aka vash: Nah, I think I'll put him, Lee, and Sakura in a threesome. I might add Neji, but I feel he and Tenten would be awesome together, for some reason…

Black Gravitation: I tried to get those two to do it for me, but they were nowhere to be found. So, I just put it on Iruka. Kakashi jumped on him and enjoyed desert! I sold the tape on e-Bay. Good times, good times… XD

FMA-lover16: I hope you liked this chapter, too!

SweetMusic-01: I feel very special! (glomps) I hope you find time to read and review this chapter, too!

Avila7989: I thought it would make for a cute scene. Glad you liked it!

Imari-chan: Hooray! Someone likes the new summary! I throw a party for you! XD

Chiyo: I might… But you of all people know of my fears! And now I have to worry about you on the road… Dear god, I think I'll die! (Other reviewers, don't worry if I die. Chiyo will probably kill me if I do.)

Chi no hana: I'm glad you liked that scene, too! I was afraid it would be too fluffy, or something…

swtTom0-chan93: Well, you found out what happened! Hope you liked it!

ServantofFate65: Hooray! I got you in a good mood! That makes me a happy person!

Losthimagain: Yes, they are. Except for pot. XD

Bo bo's angel: It appears this squirrel has its own little fanclub going! XD

Red Asatari: Well, here you have a lemon! Hope it was good for you…

Sasura: Yay! A new reviewer! And if your friends liked that scene, get them to review, too! We shall have a reviewing party!

Noroi-Inu: I know… Naru-chan can be such a moron… It made me sad. But, now he's wising up! Yay!

Well, that's all for now, folks! You read, so let's review!