A/N: Again, you've read this in his POV (chap 22 - Her Solace), now see Bella's process. Send questions or love. I'll love you back. xoxo

Chapter 29 - Her Grim Solace

BPOV - Continued

Her chest still aches from what he had to do to give her life, but more so now that she's here. It aches but a thousand times more.

Why did it take so long for her to get here?

She looks at his gaping mouth as he watches her walk in through the boulders. Those lips had to give her life, now they're unmovable, speechless.

She tentatively walks closer. He sits there sipping out from his favorite mug like nothing ever happened. He ran away from the shore and never looked back.

Two days have passed after the shore. She had to come and find him again, one last time, but she had ruined things. Jameson didn't trust her. He watched her every move. He didn't let her out of his sight.

She cringed. Her stupid impulse. The canoe, the rain, the jump. She felt her heart give out before she even decided to let go. God, if Charlie knew. She'd die. Again. She'd be so ashamed if he knew what she did.

She begged and begged Jameson not to tell a soul. She was in bed. She refused to go to the hospital to be checked. He stared down at her with such disappointment. Bella couldn't look at him.

It didn't matter.

All she remembered was the look on Edward's face. Finally seeing him. Her chest in pain. Her mouth warm. She coughed up all the water she swallowed. Then swallowed up all the shame.

But she couldn't take it anymore. She snuck out while Jameson slept peacefully beside her, seeing as he watched her sleep the entire night before. Worried. Trying to figure out who this Bella was. The person he knew would never hurt herself.

She laid a kiss on his cheek and tied her shoes to leave.

Now she's here, she's found him. She took the right turns, down the right path, and then suddenly... it was as if she hadn't struggled for months.

He watches her transfixed.

"Where have you been?" She's fire. Burning. Her lips pale, eyes raging. "I walked and walked, and you weren't here!" she shouts.

Edward lets the mug in his hand dip. He blinks a few times. It is her. She's alive, breathing, looking at him with such anger. He dug her up from the lake. The dead weight on his shoulders. She's been a weight on his shoulders for quite some time. He's felt it. She left, years ago, the drips of lake water from her body as she slipped on her dress was all that was left on that dock.

"Where did you go?" she shouts some more. Her fists claw at the air. "I needed you. I … couldn't find you."

"I'm here," he pushes through his lips.

"You were gone! I couldn't remember. Every day, all summer, I looked for you. I walked for hours to look for you. You left me!"

"I've been right here!" he shouts. It is loud. It echoes far and beyond the trees.

Bella takes it in, the power in his words. Never has he raised his voice. She tries to calm. This isn't what she planned to do once she'd gotten here. She was supposed to express her undying love. Renee told her to find him. She finally has, and now she's yelling.

She cries. She feels ridiculous.

"I tried," she stammers. "And I couldn't remember." Her hands fall at her sides. Her chin trembles. "My mother died … and you know who I wanted to tell first? You. Of course, you. I was so sure you'd know exactly what to say to make it feel okay." She shakes her head. "It's been so long I … I didn't know how to find you again." She waves her arms around the camp.

He's quiet, but like a magnet, she takes a step anyway. Oh, how she yearns to be close. She doesn't care. She has to feel him. Her cheek finds his chest, but he's stiff.

Minutely, as she dares to curl her arms around him, he relaxes. His heartbeats thunder in her eardrum. She closes her eyes and lets this moment calm her.

He calms her.

Her solace.

The whooshing of her heart is deafening, like she's back in the water, letting go, gulping it up into her lungs purposely. Why would she ever decide to die and not feel this one last time?

She takes a deep breath, and his scent consumes her. The tips of her fingers dipping over the collar of his shirt by his neck. She watches the tanned skin, months of hiking, breaking into houses to find what he needs. He's strong now. His chest hard, the muscles in his back set in his broad shoulders. She hangs on for dear life.

With the utmost gentleness, she turns her face and presses her lips to his neck. He doesn't move. So, she tries again. This time, she points her toes and reaches up to kiss his chin. She lingers there. His breath catches. His lips just above where she wants to go next.

But he speaks. "I don't make anything okay. I don't make … anything." He points. The angry words vibrating against her chest.

His grim.

He opens his eyes, and she sees fire.

She lets her hand slip out of his hair, the other from around him. She steps back. Rejection is a burning sting. She knew it. It was in her gut, the feeling she suppressed; this was just a fantasy.

"It was just in my mind," she whispers. "All of it." she nods to herself. She pinches her lips with fingertips and thinks hard on what this really means. But she remembers them in the lake together, so long ago. The way he looked at her. Their hands clutching the other watching stars above.

"You didn't feel a thing for me, did you?" she asks. Her teeth gnaw at her lips, sheepishly; devastated, embarrassed.

Faintly, he shakes his head. "I'm built not to. It's how I am."

Of course. Why would she ever think the opposite? She's not an exception. Her mother's words shaming every bone in her body, curling up her insides, telling her that Renee was right.

She nods, but inside she's in pieces.

Bella tries to leave there as fast as she can, defiantly dismissing him, declaring she'll move on with life and college. Her head held high as she flees from where she came.

What he'll never do is go after her like he used to. No guiding her out to a path with his careful steps. No brush of his shoulder against hers to lead the way. She holds her breath, but he doesn't come.

Edward will never see her shoulder sag on a tree, never hear the echoes of her sorrow.

….