Diamond in the Rough

"The worst lies are the lies we tell ourselves" – Richard Bach

Tim snuck out early the next morning, still put out over the night before and unwilling to risk an early morning confrontation with Kate over his choice of work clothes, something that he refused to budge on, at least for the moment. He was looking forward to a couple of hours of blissful silence in Trace, and was absorbed in a fiber analysis when a sweet southern drawl lured him back to reality.

"Hey, Tim."

Tim closed his eyes briefly before raising them to look Calleigh, stopping just before making eye contact. He wasn't ready to face her this morning, not after what had happened last night, not after what had almost happened between them several months earlier. But Calleigh was his friend, possibly even his best friend, so he mumbled a morose "Hey, Cal," before returning to his microscope.

Calleigh remained silent, waiting until Tim raised his eyes once more to meet hers. In that instant, Tim knew that it was just a matter of time before Calleigh pulled the entire story out of him. Despite their close friendship (or perhaps because of it) Tim had resisted telling Calleigh about Kate. But as luck would have it, Calleigh had walked out of the building just as Tim and Kate had sped off that first day.

"Who was that?" She asked him the next morning.

"Who was who?"

"That girl you took for a ride on your bike yesterday?"

Tim stuttered then, unable to form a coherent sentence. He stared at his feet and finally mumbled, "Just some girl who works for the city. She was – ah – admiring my bike and convinced me to take her for a ride."

"That's great, Tim."

Surprised, Tim looked up into Calleigh's eyes. They were bright, and she was smiling, even if the smile didn't quite reach her eyes. There was just the slightest bit of hurt in them, an amount so miniscule that anyone but Tim would have missed it. But he'd seen that hurt magnified in her eyes months earlier, and saw traces of it in his own eyes every morning.

"Cal, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to see…"

She cut him off. "See what, Tim? It's okay, really. There's nothing to apologize for."

Tim mentally rolled his eyes, but knew better than to press the subject. Calleigh had decided that whatever had or might have happened between them was a closed issue, and Tim knew that there was no point in arguing with her.

Tim had avoided Calleigh for the next few days after that, feeling somewhat guilty over what she had seen, although he wasn't sure why. After their talk where he and Calleigh had agreed to be just friends and had sealed the deal with a handshake, the subject of them had never come up again. Of course, Tim reasoned, it was hard to talk about something that had never happened in the first place. Calleigh seemed more or less okay with their agreement, although it was often hard to tell with her. Tim found that the more stone-cold her face went, the more her emotions where whirling about inside her, and in that aspect they were quite alike – both presenting a façade of normalcy even when their lives were anything but. They were both also incredibly stubborn, and both parties seemed intent on denying that there was any attraction between the two of them, even if the tight feeling in their chests was telling them otherwise.

Unable to hide Kate from Calleigh, Tim ended up confiding in her after much prodding. He and Calleigh were close friends after all, and Tim had never before had someone like Calleigh that he could talk to. His apprehension about the subject of Kate lessened a few months into the relationship, when Calleigh started seeing someone as well, although Calleigh's excitement over her dates seemed half-hearted at best. It was during those times, when he talked about Kate and Calleigh mentioned Jimmy, that Tim was almost able to convince himself that they'd made the right decision, even it had been more Calleigh's decision than his. He had had his chance, had had the opportunity to decide, and he'd put it off. Not twenty-four hours later, Calleigh had made the decision for them both, and Tim had been left with no choice but to grudgingly agree.

Whatever lay unspoken between them, Tim was especially grateful to Calleigh when things started to go so wrong with him and Kate. Calleigh was beyond sympathetic, offering Tim insight into the female mind without judging his actions, and always taking his side in the end.

Today though, Tim hesitated. Calleigh had enough on her plate without him using her as his personal therapist.

"Just more of the same old shit, Cal," he finally said.

"Oh, Tim," Calleigh said, pulling up a chair beside him and placing her hand on his back. It was meant to be a comforting gesture, but all it did was heighten Tim's senses and make him question – again – if he and Calleigh had made the right decision after all. It was too much of a reminder of an afternoon when Calleigh had had more than just her hand pressed against Tim's back. Calleigh seemed to realize this too, after awhile, and eventually removed her hand.

"What'd she make you wear last night?" Calleigh teased, knowing that Tim despised Kate's attempts to clean up his wardrobe more than anything else.

"A knit polo shirt and khakis," Tim moaned, sinking his head down into his arms, which were crossed on the table.

Calleigh laughed, producing a rich and throaty sound that never failed to restore Tim's spirit, even if it was often at his expense.

"It's not funny," he growled, knowing that Calleigh wasn't fooled by his gruff demeanor.

Calleigh turned serious then, voicing the questions that had been rolling around in Tim's head for weeks. "How far are you going to let this go, Tim?"

Tim's defenses immediately went up. He may not have been totally pleased with how the relationship was going, but he hated even more to be wrong. "It's not that big of a deal, really," he said. "So she wants me to dress a little nicer. Where's the harm in that? It's not like my wardrobe couldn't use some improvement."

"Tim, you're fine just the way you are. And if she doesn't like that then maybe she should find someone else. Trying to change you, to mold you into what she thinks you should be, is only going to make both of you miserable."

"It's just a polo, Calleigh."

"It was just a new lamp at first, Tim. Tell me, how much of your original furniture is left in your apartment?"

"Calleigh, you're being ridiculous."

Calleigh narrowed her eyes and stared at Tim. "Maybe I am. But you can only try and push someone into a mold that they're not meant to fit in for so long before something breaks. How far are you going to let it go, Tim? Your furniture? Your clothes? What you eat? Your hobbies? Your bike? Your friends?"

Calleigh's voice rose an octave on the last two items, and despite the anger in her eyes, Tim also saw a bit of panic as well. His own anger instantly dissipated, and he reached over to take Calleigh's hand in both of his, choosing to ignore the slight gasp that escaped from her lips when their hands touched.

"Cal, if there's anything I'm certain of, it's that I will never give up my bike or my friends – for anyone. You have to believe me, Cal. Our friendship means too much to me to ever let it go."

Tim saw tears form at the edge of Calleigh's eyes, and it was all he could do not take her in his arms. A moment later the tears passed, and a familiar hard look returned to Calleigh's face. She refused to cry – not in front of Tim and certainly not at work. Anger, on the other hand, was an emotion that she could deal with, although she inwardly cursed herself at the acidic words that came out of her mouth.

"I hope you're right, Tim." Her tone left no question as to whether or not she believed he was. Shock registered on Tim's face, and his grip on Calleigh's hand loosened just enough that she was able to jerk her hand away.

Tim glared back at Calleigh. If this was how she wanted to do things, that was fine with him, and he answered her comment with equal anger. "It's just a few changes, Calleigh. It's nothing to worry about."

Calleigh stood up and turned to go, firing one last acrid remark over her shoulder before leaving. "If it's not a big deal, Tim, then why are you in such a snit over it?"

Calleigh's words stayed with Tim for the rest of the day, crowding the already full space in his head. He knew she had a point, but at the same time, he didn't think that any of Kate's requested changes were that unreasonable.

Time got little else accomplished that morning, and when lunch time rolled around he took his bike for a spin, peeling down the same stretch of coastal highway that he'd first taken Kate on. But no matter how much he opened up the throttle, he couldn't escape his thoughts, and those thoughts always led back to one person – Calleigh.

TBC…