This chapter did not go as smoothly as I hoped…but last night I couldn't sleep, so was reading HBP, and stuck between the pages I found the outline I had done for this story back last summer. Bellatrix has really hijacked the story, but as much as I love her, it's still Andromeda's story, and this is where they ever-so-slightly start to fall apart. I also found a key scene that I wrote last summer in a moment of inspiration- Ted and Andy's first kiss- but that's many, many, many chapters away yet- darn character development and plot continuity get in the way of total fluff.

Don't forget to review; it makes me squeal like a schoolgirl, which is especially funny when I'm at work…

Chapter 12- Shades of Gray

I was sitting at the Slytherin table in the Great Hall when Sirius and James, and another boy among their friends came and sat across from me. I had trouble keeping track of Sirius's friends sometimes, but the quiet boy with brown hair seemed a good influence on him.

"Hello Andy, you're looking very nice today," Sirius began.

"...and you want?"

"I'm hurt, Andromeda, that a guy can't give his cousin a nice compliment without-"

"I don't have all day."

He scowled. "Have you done the potions homework?"

"Yes, I have. And no, you may not copy it."

"But...we haven't done it. And Remus won't let us copy his." He rolled his eyes in the direction of his other friend.

"Then you'll never learn it," said the boy named Remus, with a little smile that suggested he really just enjoyed seeing them panic. I gave him an approving nod.

Bella came behind me and put her hands on my shoulders, but addressed Sirius, "Gryffindor, I need a word."

"About what?"

She glanced at James. "In private?"

"We're busy," James said irritably.

I felt her hands tighten slightly. "Was I speaking to you, blood-traitor?"

James jumped up, with an ominous scraping of the bench he was sitting on, glaring at her through narrowed eyes. He opened his mouth, and then glanced at Sirius, and apparently bit back whatever he wanted to say. I got the feeling a rant against our entire family was something James had been thinking about for a long time, and he only kept it back out of consideration for Sirius. He needn't have, for Sirius probably would have joined him in it.

Sirius crossed his arms and set his jaw. "I'm not talking to you until you apologize to James."

"I didn't say anything that wasn't true."

"Apologize, Bella," he said again.

"No," she said simply. Although she was standing behind me, I could tell she was smiling, trying to see how far she could push him before he drew a wand. "I see nothing to apologize for. If anything, Potter should be apologizing to us for the way his family is trying to pollute our world." She shrugged, and turned to go. "Don't blame me when you get in trouble because you don't know what Auntie said," she added over her shoulder.

Sirius glared after her, and muttered "bitch" as soon as she was out of earshot. I slammed my book shut.

"Sirius! Don't call my sister that."

He turned his glare on me, but I was so used to his tempers I hardly noticed. "She is! You can't possibly say that was my fault!" he protested.

"Of course not, but you don't need to engage her. She wants to get a reaction."

"You always take her side."

"I'm not taking anyone's side, I just want you to stop fighting."

Remus raised an eyebrow skeptically, looking almost sympathetic. "I reckon that's not going to happen for awhile."

I shoved my potions book into my bag, and then on second thought, feeling guilty, pulled out my homework paper and slapped it down on the table in front of them. "I need it back before class. And I'll find out the message she was supposed to give you from your Mother."

"Thanks Andy!" he called after me as I went after Bella. It was going to take a lot more than the answers to potions homework to appease her, and for the first time it occurred to me that I was tired of the careful line I was walking between the two of them. I caught up with her crossing the courtyard with Regulus, and drew her into one of the alcoves along the long gallery. It was still cold outside, but out of the wind.

"Why do you have to pick fights with him?"

Reg looked between us, blinking. "What happened?"

Bella looked genuinely confused. Normally she would hold a grudge, but she fought so often with Sirius that it hardly seemed possible. I had the feeling the encounter of a few moments before was practically forgotten for her.

"Why do you care if I fight with James Potter?" she asked, bemused.

"I meant Sirius. You can't even give him a message from Auntie without making it a battle over his friends?"

She sighed, and Regulus looked worried. Bella and Sirius fighting was fairly normal but Bella and I fighting seemed against the natural order of things to him.

"James Potter shouldn't talk back to me like he has anything worth saying," she said haughtily. "And I'm certainly not going to apologize to him for saying something completely true."

"If you try to make Sirius choose between you and his friends Bella, you might not like the outcome."

She crossed her arms. "Since when have you become James Potter's biggest fan?"

"I don't even really know James, but I don't think he's quite the evil influence you seem to think he is. And I do know Sirius as well as you do, and you're not going to make it any easier by forcing him into a corner."

"Why are you taking his side?" she asked, as though it was a personal affront.

I didn't miss the irony of the fact that only a few minutes before Sirius had accused me of exactly the opposite.

"I'm not. I'm not taking anyone's side…that's the point Bella. Why does it always have to come down to that? Either Sirius or the family, either you or Sirius. For most people the world isn't that black and white. It's not all or nothing. It's all shades of gray."

She stared at me, and I could tell she really didn't understand. Bella hated anyone who did things halfway. Her world really was all or nothing. She either loved or loathed, there was no middle ground.

"Don't try to make me choose between you and Sirius," I said finally. "I won't."

"No one should have to make you choose. There shouldn't be any question. If Sirius doesn't behave like a Black, if he insists on disgracing the family…then it isn't me making you choose. Don't forget who you are, Andy. I worry sometimes that you do."

She turned and walked away, pulling a terrified Reggie with her. I could hear her footsteps echoing along the stone hallway briskly, as though she was just going to class, not faltering once. I leaned back against the cool stone wall, taking deep breaths, eyes closed. I hadn't meant it to be a confrontation, I had just wanted her to say that I didn't have to choose between her and Sirius, that I never would have to. I wanted her to assure me that their fights weren't indicative of something bigger. Bella had always reassured me before.

Though I felt exhausted by the whole encounter, it was my last class of the day, and I was nearly going to be late anyway. I picked up my bag and stepped out of the little alcove, only to run full into someone.

"Watch where you're going!" he exclaimed. He was wearing a Hufflepuff tie and was probably younger than me- I had no idea who he was.

"Sorry," I muttered, brushing past him.

"The dangers of inbreeding, huh?" I heard himsay behind me, and his friend sniggered. I stopped, and turned. Normally I would have let the comment pass, but he'd picked the worst possible time.

"What's that?"

He had obviously been hoping I'd react.

"Do you need me to talk slower, Black? Cousins marrying does make you a little slow."

"I have no idea who you are, so why exactly do you have a problem with me?" I asked testily. "And for Merlin's sake at least come up with something original."

"You think you're so much better than everyone else," he sneered.

I pulled my wand out, but a hand closed around my wrist. "Are you sure he's worth getting in trouble Andy?"

It was Ted, but before I could say anything or shake his hand off, the kid I'd been planning to hex gave a low whistle.

"Oh, the princess has a muggle-born boyfriend? I wouldn't have thought you're the type to lick their boots, Tonks."

He didn't let go of me, but said mildly, "You want a fight, Mercer? I can take you."

Mercer appeared to consider his chances against a boy who was both older, and bigger, and then muttered "sellout"and slouched away. I turned to Ted, who held up his hands as though fending off an attack.

"Sorry, I know you can take care of yourself and fight your own battles and whatnot, but he's muggle-born and I figured the idea of getting beat up without magic might be a little less abstract to him."

"I was going to say thanks."

"Oh…well…" he was actually speechless for a moment. "You're welcome. You okay?"

"Yes…just one of those days." I shook my head. "I'm fine."

He frowned, looking skeptical. "You don't look fine."

"Gee, thanks."

"No, I mean, you look fine… just a little shaken up, is all," he shifted his bag to the other shoulder, nervously. "Do you want to go for a walk or something?"

"But…class is starting…"

"I know, and I'm sure your grades are really going to suffer if you miss a single class. Especially your best class. You just look like you could use a bit of a break."

I considered this. I had actually never skipped class before without permission and a very good reason. But I was so relieved he was talking to me again that I wanted to. I also knew that if I did go to class, I wouldn't hear a word of what Malenkov said. I needed to clear my head, and so I nodded.

"I didn't even do anything to that kid, I have no idea what happened," I admitted as we walked toward the lake.

He shrugged. "He was looking for a fight, and so much better if your name happens to be Black."

"What does my name have to do with it?"

"Well, it's been in the papers a bit lately. Or your Uncle's anyway, and I don't reckon he cares to differentiate." He caught sight of my confused expression. "Don't you even read the papers? Your Uncle's been quoted all over the place saying this Riddle guy has the right idea. And he's advocating some things that aren't too popular in some circles."

It was still cold, but sunny and still, without any bite to the occasional breeze. I did feel a little better as we walked around the lake, the argument with Bella still at the front of my mind, but momentarily put aside as I was trying to figure out this new development.

"Since when are you interested in politics?"

He shrugged again. "Since politics got interested in me."

"Um, not that I'm complaining, but you said before…I mean, I thought…"

He sighed, and stuck his hands in his pockets.

"Well, I suppose it's none of my business how you deal with your family," he said finally. "I was mad, I'm not saying I wasn't. But I realized that just means I'm buying into their labels. I'm not here to be part of a crusade Andy, I just want to do the best I can, and be friends with the people I like," he was speaking thoughtfully, as though in stream of consciousness, and then shrugged. "I don't want a fight with Bellatrix, and I definitely don't want a fight with Malfoy or Lestrange. And I figure that's what you were trying to avoid, in a remarkably tactless way."

"Something like that, but that doesn't change that…"

"I know," he cut me off quietly. "You do what you have to do Andy. We'll just see what happens. Besides," he added, with a sideways look at me. "If not for you I have to sit next to Spencer Callahan in Arithmancy, and he's really bad at it."

We passed the hour easily enough on the Hogwarts grounds without encountering any other students or Hagrid, the gamekeeper, so we were careless by the time we got back to the Castle, and Professor Malenkov stepped into our path, with a bit of a smile.

"Well, since you do not appear to be suffering from a jelly legs hex and the effects of a manticore attack, respectively, which is the best your friends could come up with on the spot, I have to wonder why you both weren't in class."

"Er, we were…"

"It's just that we had to…"

"Mhm. I fully understand the lure of a sunny day in winter. However, since this can't be encouraged, you can both join me for detention. I will be gone this week-end, so it will have to be next week. Friday night."

"A manticore attack?" I asked my roommates when I came into our room that night. Adrienne shrugged, but had the grace to look embarrassed.

"It was ze first thing I think of."

"Where were you anyway?" Annabelle asked, poking her head out of the curtains around her bed, her hair wrapped around heated curlers that were supposed to result in "cascading curls" according to the box. This was a nightly ritual for her despite the fact that no amount of magic could make her fine hair hold a curl until morning.

"I just…didn't feel like going to class," I said, avoiding her interested gaze.

They all exchanged a glance, and the giggling started. I realized it wasn't going to be that easy. I sighed.

"What?"

More giggling, and then "You were with Will, weren't you?"

That had actually not even occurred to me, and I blushed not because it was true, but because I felt like it ought to have occurred to me. We were still more or less "going out," which was really just studying together in the common room and walking to Hogsmeade together on the week-ends we were allowed to go. Since I was not nearly as "precocious" as Bella when it came to boys, I didn't really expect anything more. My roommates, like any nearly-fourteen-year-old girls, were eager to hear that there was more to tell, and the color in my cheeks didn't convince them otherwise, especially since it was out-of-character for me to skip class at all. Finally, to escape their increasingly suggestive questions, I retreated to the common room to do the homework I had missed in Defense Against the Dark Arts.

I found Regulus sitting at one of the tables in a darkened corner of the common room, studying. He was often found studying and after a few weeks of puzzling over such strange behavior for the brother of Sirius Black, the others in Slytherin more or less left him alone. Sirius might have been a target for the boys in our house, but Regulus was a Slytherin and a Black and there was an unspoken understanding he was under Bella's protection. He had made friends among some of the boys in his year, but more often stayed below the radar, something Sirius had never done, or even tried to do. He had surprised everyone the previous term by bringing home excellent grades. While it wasn't that we assumed Reg was stupid, it was hard for him to find anything that Sirius hadn't done first and flashier. While Sirius got good grades without even cracking a book, Reg seemed determined to prove he could manage the same grades, even if it meant a bit more studying.

I joined him, and he looked up from his transfiguration notes long enough to give me a vague smile, but said nothing. Happy with the silence and lack of probing personal questions, I had started on my essay when he said suddenly, "Andy, what's wrong with Bella?"

I laid down my quill carefully. "What do you mean?"

"Well, her and Sirius…"

"That's nothing Reg," I said lightly, trying to convince myself as well as him. "They just had an argument. You know how they are, they'll make up quick enough."

He bit his lip. "After we left you, she was saying lots of bad things about him."

"Like what?" I asked, despite myself.

"Oh, the same things Mother says…that she doesn't know where he went wrong and he's going to turn out a blood-traitor and he's going to end up disgracing the family," he burst out as though he had been waiting a long time to say it. He raised his eyes, looking resigned. "Is he a blood-traitor?"

"Reg, that's just name-calling. Bella was mad at him," I said, as though I knew exactly what I was talking about.

"Is she mad at you, too?"

"No," I said confidently, picking up my quill and hoping he would realize the conversation was over. He seemed satisfied.

The next morning when I came into the Great Hall for breakfast it was obvious something was wrong. An almost palpable tension hung in the air, and the usual hum of hundreds of conversations was dulled to quiet murmurs.

"What's going on?" Narcissa asked in a stage whisper as we sat down, and someone handed her a newspaper. Over her shoulder I read the headlines in inch high black letters that four high-ranking Ministry employees who had mysteriously "disappeared" over the past week had all been found, dead. Worse yet, they'd been found by muggles, which was both a hassle and a security risk, and it was causing a panic in the Ministry, people resigning jobs left and right, assuming that some crazed wizard was targeting the Ministry. It didn't take much of a genius to see the pattern though, the four people had nothing in common, except that they were all muggle-born, and were outspoken supporters of muggle protection.

I didn't immediately realize why everyone in the Great Hall seemed so subdued, muggle killings had been going on and off for months, and this was a step further certainly, but shocking headlines were becoming commonplace. Then I looked at the names of the victims again and saw a vaguely familiar one. Goodwin, and a boy called Toby Goodwin was a popular, good-looking Hufflepuff fourth year. I looked over at their table, by far the quietest, and saw they all looked pale and frightened.

Until that point, I had looked at the muggle killings with a kind of uneasy indifference. The idea was vaguely worrying and unpleasant, but it didn't affect me or anyone I loved, and so it wasn't real. When it was another student, even a student I had never spoken to and probably never would, it became suddenly real in the graphic black and white of the newspaper, and in the white faces of Toby Goodwin's friends. It was no longer something that was removed from Hogwarts and affected only muggles.

It was an old battle, the balance of power between those born into the wizarding world and those who, by some kind of genetic lottery, were born magical in the muggle world. You could hardly keep muggle-born witches and wizards from exercising their power, and without proper education you would simply end up flare-ups of uncontrolled magic by people who didn't even really know what they were or what they were capable of. To eliminate muggle-borns from the wizarding world was no option, but the argument of what place and what rights they should have had gone on for centuries, occasionally flaring into full-blown war, only to quiet down again.

Someone was trying to raise the stakes. I didn't have to think very hard to figure out who that was, and it didn't take any deep understanding of politics to know which side my family would come down on.

Bella stumbled into the Great Hall as breakfast was ending. She had overslept again, and was barely awake enough to notice the mood. Without waiting for her to ask, Narcissa handed her the newspaper.

She said only "hm" in response to the article, more to herself then anyone else, before Malfoy, who came in a moment behind her, snatched it from her hand from behind. His face was its usual calm mask but his eyes were alive with excitement.

"I was reading that," Bella said irritably, making to grab it back.

He turned away out of her reach. "You wouldn't understand the significance anyway, Black," he said dismissively. He should have known better, Bella didn't like to be dismissed by anyone and certainly wouldn't tolerate it from him. She put up with him in groups, and counted him among our "friends" only because he was from a good family and the object of Narcissa's affection, but as they got older they never really liked each other and he never really learned when he was pushing her too far.

Slowly, she raised an eyebrow. "Don't I, Lucius?"

He actually spared her a glance, but it was just to sneer. "Shouldn't you be playing with your dolls or something Black?"

Narcissa and I glanced at each other, waiting for an explosion, and then it came. She whipped around, wand out. I don't know what hex she intended to use, because the incantation, or at least the beginning of it, was a spell I'd never heard before. She didn't get through all of it because a sharp voice cut her off.

"Miss Black!"

Professor Malenkov was striding over to the table, and she was caught in mid-hex. There was no way to even pretend she hadn't intended to lay Malfoy out.

"Is there a problem here, Miss Black?"

She didn't look the slightest bit embarrassed at having been caught. "No Sir."

"Then you really shouldn't have your wand out, should you? Detention, Miss Black, Monday night." He didn't leave immediately, but studied her for a moment. "I know what spell that was. You really must learn to think before you throw around curses. That temper will land you in Azkaban."

Bella was angry at me. She never said another word about her accusation that I was forgetting who I was, and she didn't really act particularly cold or distant. Probably nobody else would have noticed, but nobody else knew her as I did. She had always been intensely physical with me, invading my space, playing with my hair, simply touching me. It was probably unconscious for her, and while it would have made me deeply uncomfortable with anyone else, it was simply Bella, and I had really never noticed it before until she stopped. Suddenly, she didn't lay her hands on my shoulders, didn't put her arms around my waist, didn't brush her fingers through my hair.

It was her way, conscious or not (probably not), of punishing me for siding with Sirius, and therefore in her view of the world, going against the family. I only knew that something was very wrong, but couldn't figure out exactly what it was. Nobody could hold a grudge like Bella, and suddenly I was finding myself on another side of it, and feeling completely lost.

Suddenly being without her presence all the time might have been a blessing in disguise, because then I didn't have to explain to anyone what I was doing talking to a muggle-born boy, and Ted had somehow, without my permission and without my even really noticing, become my friend again.

Which is not to say we didn't argue constantly, that he never called me spoiled or pretentious, that I never slipped and called him a mudblood. But I had, between his eye-rolling and Sirius's none-too-subtle glare, made a concerted effort to stop saying it so casually.

I had nearly forgotten about our detention for skipping class (rumors of what I had done during that skipped class were flying fast around our dormitory and I neither confirmed or denied any of them) when he reminded me of it. I arrived before Professor Malenkov, and Ted came in a few minutes later, looking put out.

"Is everyone in your family just naturally horrible and vindictive, or do you all practice in your spare time?"

I didn't answer him immediately. He shot me a worried glance as he took the desk next to me, as though thinking maybe he'd gone too far, when I answered pleasantly.

"We practice of course. We have "being horrible and vindictive" lessons on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and we practice every day after lunch. Right before we practice being spoiled and petty, which we also excel at."

He stared at me for a moment, and then burst out laughing, so hard that he almost fell backwards out of the chair.

"Just out of curiosity," I went on, when he'd finished wiping his eyes and sat up. "Which member of my family inspired that little outburst?"

"Your sister. I bumped into her, knocked one of her books down, but it was entirely an accident, and I picked it up."

"The thing with Bella," I began, and probably would have given him some very valuable advice about avoiding her wrath, but he cut me off.

"Not Bellatrix, Narcissa."

I turned and looked at him, and gave a badly concealed and very unladylike snort of laughter. "Cissy? What did she do? Give you a make-over?"

I regretted that almost as soon as it left my mouth. It wasn't that Narcissa wasn't capable of powerful magic, or that she didn't have some fairly nasty spells at her disposal, it was simply that it would normally take a great deal to inspire her to make that much effort. She was too reserved and aloof to show much emotion unless it was something she truly cared about, and I didn't think a dropped book would move her to actually retaliating with much conviction or force.

"She didn't have to, she just whined to Malfoy," he replied, pushing up his sleeve to reveal a series of nasty-looking red streaks. I winced.

"You should try murtlap essence, Sirius told me when-" I stopped abruptly. "Well, it will stop the stinging. Not that it helps, but I imagine Narcissa was just trying to see how far Lucius would go on her behalf."

"How touching, young love," he muttered irritably.

Malenkov strode in, and looked at us with some amusement. He was actually proving to be an excellent teacher, with fast-paced and interesting classes, and he made even the most unenthusiastic students study to avoid his sharp tongue, for his comments to those who didn't know the material sometimes bordered on cruel. Still, he was the most effective teacher we'd had so far and he gave the impression that he understood a great deal more than he let on. Given his Dumstrang origins, the Slytherins had expected an ally, but he was disappointingly fair. However, as he looked at us with vague curiosity, it appeared he had not given a great deal of detentions in the past.

"So, I suppose I'm supposed to make the both of your write "I will not skive off class" a thousand times or something?" he asked us. We exchanged a glance, wondering if we were supposed to make suggestions for our own detention. "That seems rather a waste," he went on. "But you're both clever enough, so perhaps we can make you useful."

He set us to marking first year homework papers, which while boring, was not the worst detention I had ever experienced. Malenkov didn't seem to pay any attention to us, except after a long period of silence apart from the scratching of quills, he said unexpectedly, "I met your parents over the holidays, Miss Black. They were very pleased to hear you do so well in class, though rather surprised, I must admit."

"I…ah…" I hadn't said anything about my grades because my parents didn't ask, although it certainly explained Mother's comments about how boys didn't like girls who were know-it-alls. "How did you meet my parents?"

"At your parents winter ball, from which you and your sister were conspicuously absent. Your cousin was in fine form though."

I grinned. "He set Andrea Wilkes's robes on fire," I explained to Ted, who laughed and said again that he liked Sirius.

I wasn't sure what to think about his admission that he had been at my parents' winter ball. If nothing else, it confirmed his loyalties, which were the subject of much speculation.

Malenkov dismissed us at nine-thirty, with some vague and rather half-hearted reprimands about skipping class, and as I handed him the first year papers, raised an eyebrow and said so softly only I could hear, "You don't laugh very often Andromeda, but you laugh when you're with him."

I couldn't sleep that night. Finally I got up and crept out of my room and up the silent staircase. Bella's room was silent as well, all her roommates asleep, and dark except for a shaft of harsh, bright moonlight coming through the window, bisecting the floor and cutting across her bed. The heavy curtains were partially open, and in sleep her face looked open and relaxed and completely innocent, with none of the wild animation and wicked gleam she had every moment she was awake. She stirred when I nudged her over and crawled into bed with her, and draped her arm over my waist. The physical contact was enough to reassure me.

"S'wrong Andy?" she murmured, half-asleep.

"I can't sleep…are you mad at me?"

She lazily waved a hand and made the curtains around the bed fall shut, which was actually a highly impressive bit of magic given she didn't have her wand in her hand.

"No," she said, with a sigh. "I wanted to be, and I can't. It just made me miss you."

When it was just Bella and I, it was so easy. It was when the rest of the world interfered that we lost each other. In the perfect golden world of our childhood there had been nothing to pull us apart, and so if I couldn't relate to Bella in the new world of adults, then I wanted terribly to be a child again.

"Tell me a story Bella?"

Her voice was muffled by her face pressed into my hair. "You're too old for stories Andy. We can't go back."

Next Chapter: Andromeda gets a crash course in muggle studies…