Long time no see, everyone. Sorry for the long delay in a new chapter, but things have been quite hectic for me. I've been overcoming some setbacks and was too distracted to write/update. Hopefully the upcoming spring break will give me more time to stay on track. Sorry again, guys. Thanks for reading/following/reviewing!
Disclaimer: I do not own any characters. They are all property of Namco.
As if he could feel her eyes on him, he slowly turned his head to look over his shoulder at her. The elusive blonde assassin had him on a wild goose chase, but he finally caught up to her. He honestly didn't want to come all this way to find her, and things would have been so simple for him had she answered her phone. After countless calls going straight to voice mail, he grew annoyed and decided to hunt her down whether she liked it or not. Every step he took to find her, he was always one step behind. He had received word that she flew out to the air base to oversee the drills, yet when he arrived the soldiers informed him that a she had departed twenty minutes earlier to move on to her next objective. Next, he received word that she was seen reviewing over inventory at one of their warehouses, and again, once he finally arrived she was already gone without a trace, that is, until he issued an alert for all men to report her location to him as soon as she arrived at her next destination without delay.
Once he arrived, he received information directly from Eddy about where to find her, but that verbal exchange didn't come without another debt that he now owed since the man boldly demanded that he set up a meeting to speak with him privately in the near future. He knew what that meeting would entail and dreaded the arrival of that day, and he couldn't help but to think that he could've avoided that conversation had he not left the comfort of his office.
Despite being upset with the woman, he decided to cut her some slack once his eyes fell upon her resting on the small bench in an uncomfortable upright position. She had snuck around like a cat in the shadows to avoid him, and she expended so much energy to evade him while performing needless chores that she finally tired herself out. The strange utterance of his name a few moments before her awakening caught his ears, and he wondered how she was aware of his presence yet still looked surprised once she laid eyes on him. She seemed reluctant to speak since she only sat there quietly while gazing up at him in a mysterious fashion.
"You look tired," his strong voice echoed throughout the empty range. "Not sleeping well, I suppose." Now that the silence was broken, hopefully that would pave the way for the conversation. Jin returned his eyes to her target sheet down the lane and realized that it was another clue that she was indeed distracted since her shooting seemed a little off the mark.
Naturally, she detected some snideness in his tone despite his efforts to play it cool. He was beating around the bush as well, it was a sign of nervousness. She stretched her back, which was sore from her poor sleeping position, and crossed her legs while crossing her arms against her chest as well. "You came all this way just to concern yourself with my sleeping habits?" she mocked tiredly with a thin smirk. "How sweet." She had a clear idea why he wanted to speak with her, but he should've given this more time. This was a tough pill for her to swallow, and she wouldn't make this an easy task for him if he deigned to bombard her with questions regarding that.
Jin turned to look at her with a stern expression. Just as predicted, she erected her ice wall again to repel him and to escape confrontation. She seemed angry with him for some reason, but he would stand his ground against her on this issue and get the answers he needed. "I wouldn't have had to waste my time if you hadn't disobeyed the conditions of your contract, again," he scolded with a straight face.
"So, there's an immediate emergency that needs to be addressed?" she scoffed.
"Should that be the only reason I'm allowed to contact you?"
"I believe that lengthy, detailed contract stated something along the lines of discouraging personal calls," she reminded him with a small smug smile. She knew all too well that her refusal to answer her phone wasn't what forced him to hunt her down.
He let out a heavy sigh to calm his nerves. For some reason, he could see right through her game plan. She'd continue to retort with snarky comments, he'd grow angry and say something rude, they'd argue, and then she'd go a week or so without speaking to him while successfully dodging confrontation about this issue just as she intended. He remained silent to contemplate the best way to tackle this situation to avoid an unfavorable outcome. 'She regrets everything…I can see it on her face, but why did she…why did we allow it to happen if this would be the end result?' he pondered.
Those damn butterflies were in a frenzy in her stomach as the silence persisted, and he was only making things far more uncomfortable and awkward by not directly stating his purpose for tracking her down. She could see that he was visibly annoyed and decided to loosen up just a bit. She lifted her hands to her temples and massaged them gently and took a deep breath to make herself less tense. She gazed at him with seriousness in her eyes and said in a low whisper, "Look, I know why you're here, but this isn't the time or place to discuss this matter." She didn't want to get into the embarrassing intimate details about their reckless actions, especially outside of the confines and privacy of his office or quarters.
Just as expected, she took the dismissive route. He allowed his piercing eyes to sweep over her before he took a small step forward, and he immediately noticed that she tensed up again by folding her arms again and averting her eyes to look at anything but him. There was a very faint tint of rose on her visage that served as a telltale sign of her nervousness and discomfort, yet she still had a prominent frown upon her lips that gave her the appearance of being more angry than flustered. It was hard to imagine that those same lips were once possessed with a fiery passion that left him smothered in kisses ranging from tender to playfully rough not even twenty four hours earlier. He needed answers now and further postponing this topic would only increase his anxiety. "You regret your actions," he stated pointedly. "Do you think sweeping this under the rug will make things easier?"
The blonde cast her eyes downward momentarily before reluctantly forcing herself to meet his gaze. That determined look in his eyes somewhat swayed her to be more compliant about speaking to him despite her own reservations. She let out a defeated sigh and let him have his way. "Fine," she breathed out. "What do you want to discuss?"
He felt drained simply from trying to force her to cooperate with him, but at least he made some leeway with her. This was a very awkward, confusing situation for him as well, but he hoped that they'd be able to settle this matter and move forward. Jin folded his arms and stared down at the woman before him with a somber mask over his face to disguise his own nervousness. "Last night," he started, he could visibly see her sharply inhale as he said this. "I…it wasn't in my intentions…I…" he trailed off in a low voice. He spent all day mulling over his words and had perfectly crafted the things he wanted to say to her, but now he stammered like a fool in her presence, undoubtedly adding more discomfort to the situation.
This was unbearable. Nina lightly pinched the bridge of her nose and shook her head. This is why she sought to have a few days of privacy without him so that they'd both have more time to thoroughly contemplate how they would better orchestrate this conversation. "Jin…if you're curious about the best way to handle this situation, my suggestion is that we forget it altogether," she recommended nonchalantly in a hushed voice.
Jin frowned. That seemed to be a sound solution in her mind, sweeping things out of sight and pretending it never existed; however, in his opinion, it was a coward's way out. He shook his head slowly at her suggestion. "That won't work," he admitted in a low tone. "Wouldn't that make things much more complicated if we don't at least attempt to discuss what happened?"
Nina sighed softly. "There's nothing to discuss," she claimed dismissively. "It was just a temporary lapse in our judgement, and it won't happen again." She could tell from the determination in his eyes that he wasn't going to relent anytime soon.
"Perhaps it shouldn't have happened, but we both made a conscious decision to allow it to. Why is that?" he probed deeper.
Nina softly bit her lip in annoyance as he kept challenging her with pressing questions. He was absolutely hell-bent on getting her to give him a clear answer that she didn't possess at the moment. She sighed again. "Sometimes…people do certain things that don't always have a logical explanation, there's no way else I can explain it."
Deep down, he knew there was a better explanation for her actions, but now he had mentally exhausted himself from his soft interrogation. He still beamed her with the scrutiny of his hard gaze, and they just briefly stared at each other in silence for a moment. After a while, he blinked when she averted her eyes to the side momentarily before returning her eyes to him. He remained silent.
Seeing his face riddled with a mixture of disappointment, confusion, and anger once again made her feel inadvertently guilty about her refusal to disclose her true thoughts and feelings about everything. She just needed more time. However, she didn't want him to feel that his quest to find her wouldn't come without some form of reward. "If it's any consolation to you at the moment, I will admit that you didn't disappoint me," Nina revealed in a sultry tone with a sly, flirtatious smile. "It was fun."
His eyes widened slightly in surprise at her admission, and he could feel his heart thumping excitedly in his chest again. Though this information was less important to the actual issue at hand, he couldn't deny that his ego was relieved to hear that from her. However, he wouldn't allow himself to be sidetracked. He did his best to not allow that enticing look in her eyes to force his mind to overflow with all the memories of their night together once again. "Does that mean you don't have any regrets?" he inquired, hoping she would be more forthcoming with answers now.
He was always so persistent. Nina couldn't help but to laugh slightly at his refusal to give up. She finally rose from the bench and took a few steps towards him, her heels echoing throughout the room with each step. She placed her hand on her hip and shook her head as she looked him over. "Regret is natural after blindly following impulses, but we shouldn't beat ourselves up over it," she elucidated. "Besides, we all know what the true culprit was."
"What would that be?" he asked. He was now hanging onto her every word since she finally decided to speak, and his interest was now peaked and eager to learn more about her take on their dilemma.
"Boredom," she answered with a simple shrug of her shoulder.
He blinked in confusion. "Boredom? How so?"
She slowly began pacing around him as she attempted to better explain her reasoning. "What did you expect to happen after being cooped up together these past few months, trying to cope with the stress from this war? Whether it was the restless nights, the nightmares, or attempts to numb the pain with a bottle in hand, we've both been suffering under the effects of this situation more than we'd like to admit," she elaborated. "Being public pariahs at the moment, we've been trapped and tucked away from society's eye while being forced to renounce the normalcy of our former lives, so we found solace and alleviation from our boredom in a not so sensible manner." She stopped pacing and paused in front of him, nearly lost in thought from her own words as if she were trying to convince herself to understand and believe her own rationale. Perhaps it was only boredom and nothing more, and if that were truly so, then it'd be much easier to forget everything and finally put this issue to rest. The thought of it being something much more than that nearly frightened her.
Jin closed his eyes for a moment after she offered him her best explanation, letting her words resonate within his mind. Her theory behind their behavior seemed feasible, yet part of him still believed that there was more to it than that. However, he did agree that the licentious behavior they indulged in was a form of escapism that felt much needed. He peered at her and noticed that she seemed to be deeply pensive about something. He silently observed her until she looked up at him with her questioning blue eyes.
"Is that all?" she asked with small tilt of her head. She hoped he understood the situation from her point of view and wouldn't overanalyze things like he normally tended to do.
He still had a multitude of questions and concerns, but she was so adamant about dancing around them that he felt that proceeding would be futile. He noticed that she wouldn't keep her eyes on him for long before she turned her head away from him, trying her best to conceal her fluster. She, too, must've still been consumed with the memories of their night together randomly flashing through her mind with no control over them. Jin ignored the fluttering sensation in his gut and decided to muster up the courage to ask her one last question. "Everything happened so quickly," he started with a tincture of hesitation in his voice. "Will…you be okay?"
Nina raised a thin brow at his confusing query. What exactly was he getting at with that question? "Do you mind being a little more specific?"
A nervous knot formed in his stomach as he forced himself to clarify his primary concern for her. It was an embarrassing question to ask, but they were both adults. He narrowed his eyes a bit before continuing. "I never wanted to put you at risk, given my situation…I was careless," he confessed apologetically.
Even with his explanation, she was still baffled about what he was droning on about, but from interpreting his nervous body language and reading in-between his words, she finally came to the stark realization about what he was asking her. Immediately, she covered her face with her palm and shook her head for a moment before looking at him with an irritated glare. "You can't be serious right now," she muttered in disbelief.
He didn't understand her reaction or her discontent with the question, but he supposed that it was his own general ignorance about women that left him feeling clueless. He drew in a deep breath before saying, "I just wanted to be sure if-"
"Don't worry about that…I'm fine!" she interrupted with a huff. Feeling her face warming from fluster again, she casually turned her back to him to hide her embarrassment. She desperately wanted to retreat from the situation and spend her time recollecting herself so that one day she may function normally without this cloud hanging over her head.
He figured that his question was a bit too personal for her liking, but if she wasn't worried, then he figured he could breathe a sigh of relief about the situation as well. He took a small step forward and gently placed a hand on her shoulder, and he immediately felt her tense beneath his grasp. "So, what now?"
A small shiver traveled throughout her from his mere touch, instantly awakening the memories and phantom feeling of pleasure that she'd been trying to suppress all day. Nina took a step forward to flee from the sensation and quickly shot a warning glance over her shoulder back at the man behind her. They had never been seen making physical contact outside of the private spaces they occupied, and doing so now would only raise suspicion from others. It wasn't that she would give a damn about what they thought, but a large part of her valued her privacy and secret affairs. "Indeed," she said as she slowly turned to face him once more. "What now?" she reflected his question back unto him.
His brown eyes became fixated on her cerulean gaze, and he instantly began feeling the thick tension building between them again. It was a strange feeling he didn't quite understand, but he found it intriguing, dangerous even. "If we should ever become bored again, what do you suppose we should do?" he asked boldly.
She could barely come to terms with her past behavior let alone contemplate preventative measures for future indiscretions. She folded her arms across her chest with a sigh as she cast her eyes downward briefly, attempting to conjure up a quick answer to his question. "It was just an itch that needed to be scratched," she answered candidly as she allowed her eyes to meet his again. "Since we've gotten it out of our system, we should nip things at the bud."
He couldn't understand her logic at all once again. How could she possibly deduce that things could be easily nipped at the bud when they had an untamed garden growing in their midst? There seemed to be an underlying fear that the woman possessed, one which she attempted to avoid at all costs; he wondered what it could be. She was very guarded, yet he couldn't judge her too harshly since he's been that way for most of his life. "Do you always run from your problems?" he admonished her in a scoffing manner. "I expected more from you."
She shrugged off his judgmental words and shook her head lightly. The blonde sighed in annoyance as she looked up at the raven haired man once more. She said nothing as he glowered at her in silence. 'Jin, please…I don't know what else you want me to say…' she thought as she began to feel even more conflicted. She didn't want to crack beneath the pressure he was putting on her, but she was damn close to giving in.
"Well? You have nothing else to say?" he continued to pressure her, impatiently.
"What else do you want from me?" she asked in frustration. She was growing weary from the discussion, especially since it was one which had no clear end goal.
The question hit him unexpectedly, and he himself didn't know what exactly it was that he wanted to hear from her, but he knew he wanted more than she was willing to give him. Perhaps he was over hasty and expected all answers to every question far sooner than was possible, but it was only natural for him to seek clarification. He lowered his eyes and his thoughts were running rampant once again.
She wanted to leave, but she hated that her conscious forced her to stay and offer him some solace. "Jin," she spoke his name softly and waited until he looked up at her again. "Sorry to disappoint you, but I just need more time."
Time. That was a luxury that he didn't have. His limited time was forcing him to act impulsively, but he couldn't blame her since it was solely his fault for not disclosing his true intentions about his plan, one that she diligently helped him enforce while being completely unaware of the end result he was truly after. 'I should tell her the truth…I should have told her from the start, but at this point, she'll never forgive me…she'll leave…' He snapped out of his thoughts when she spoke again.
"With clearer minds, we'll be able to discuss things more rationally," she surmised. "And maybe next time we can talk in a more private setting." They had practically been whispering throughout the duration of their conversation; the acoustics in the gun range would only cause their private words to echo loudly for unwanted ears.
Despite the conflicting emotions coursing through him at the moment, he silently agreed with her with a straight face. He wondered how much time was needed, and what would their ultimate conclusion be, if they ever reached one?
"I don't know what the future will bring, but admittedly I would hate for it to ruin our somewhat agreeable working relationship," Nina confessed, truthfully.
He nodded slowly and said, "I agree." If anything, he would hope that their night of intimacy would not destroy their business arrangement. Surprisingly, he had found her company tolerable; he would miss their lazy days lounging in his office with nothing but refreshments and interesting conversation as the world around them was being torn asunder.
The blonde woman sighed softly with a small shake of her head as she folded her arms across her chest. "What a pity, in an idealistic world, we could have the best of both," she spoke in a slightly hopeful tone. "Then neither of us will have to be bored ever again."
There was a peculiar inflection in her tone that caused him to narrow his eyes in curiosity. Before he could question her, he only saw her blonde ponytail whipping behind her as she turned sharply and headed towards the door. "Wait…" he called out to her, yet she continued onwards.
"Next time, Jin," she said as she opened the door. She paused for a moment and glanced over her shoulder with a mischievous gleam in her eyes before saying, "I've always preferred actions over words." With that cryptic message, she left him in peace. She was in desperate need of sleep, and now that they reached a mutual agreement to extensively mull over their actions for a while longer, they could be more cautious and rational before foolishly attempting to prematurely discuss things. If she could have her way, she'd prefer to skip the boring part and jump straight to the fun, but that was wishful thinking.
Once the echo of the closing door filled the room he cursed under his breath in frustration. That conversation accomplished absolutely nothing he wanted it to, but then again, he really didn't know what he expected to happen. On the bright side, at least the conversation didn't result in the outcome he deemed to be the most unfavorable; yet the most favorable outcome wasn't achieved as well. Maybe he was a bit demanding and overbearing in his attempts to force her to be more forthcoming with her true thoughts, or perhaps her true feelings was that of complete indifference and she had nothing else to disclose to him.
Jin attempted to shake off those confusing thoughts and focus his attention on more important things at hand, like this damned war that he mentally tried to escape from with fanciful thoughts and unattainable fantasies. 'Time? If only I had more time…' he silently brooded. 'I've been deluding myself with hope for an alternate destiny…the only hope I have is death.' He hated that he allowed himself to be so distracted from his mission, especially now since that distraction slowly made him want to cling to life instead of yearning for his death; however, it was too late for him to turn back now.
End of chapter 24!
I originally didn't think this story would go on for so long, but it's about 3/4 complete now according to my original outline. I know people usually dislike longer stories so I'll see what I can do. R&R!