a/n: So much handmaid's tale binging, babies and more babies, I had to post about this cute one. Thanks for the reviews. Go read!

Chapter 47 - Environmentally Acceptable

BPOV continues...

Bella has cried in her sleep more times than not. Well, there's barely any sleep. This baby is alive and present. Elliot makes himself known. Bella's spirit.

When he's fed, dry, and comfortable, Elliot is quiet as a mouse. He's content with watching his surroundings in his bassinet, quietly, without revealing himself awake. Bella pops her head over to check on him every second, it seems. It irks her. Sometimes he's too quiet. Edward's spirit.

His little, clear blue eyes boar right into her soul. Bella sees Edward in them, and she cries. Elliot just watches as she does, like he knows something. His little hand flexing up and across her cheek once, like he was wishing her to calm.

Well, she can't. Charlie hasn't spoken to her. Charlie left for a whole day, then came back early the next morning. Bella heard his steps walk by. The door of her room open, her back to it trying to sleep, but failing, yet again.

She kept still. Elliot wasn't. As usual, he was up, staring at the world around him quietly. And it's like he knew someone familiar was close. His little feet kicked; his arms punched the air. He was reaching.

Charlie hesitated. Bella felt him. He stood by the door and then walked by. Bella's heart sank. She wished so badly Mom was here to rationalize with him. She would convince him it's not the baby's fault. But Bella has no place arguing with him. She has no weight in this anymore. In anything.

Elliot shouted out anyway. Charlie walked away, but he shouted out for him. And those familiar boots slowly walked back. Bella pinched her lips, not to let out a sound as Charlie lifted the boy up and into his arms. They both took a walk around the house. Cooings from Elliot, and whispered words from Charlie's mouth. Bella fell into a much needed, deep sleep until noon.

"So, where is he?"

Bella's tired eyes go a bit wide at the question. Her coffee mug midair.

Charlie lounges back in the kitchen chair, a bib over his shoulder, Elliot sucking on a four-ounce bottle like its air for his lungs. The suckling noise calming, but strong. Little blue veins under his pale skin where his throat bobs willingly. Charlie skillfully pops out the nipple and adjusts the boy to sit and burp. Elliot's mouth screwed up under soft folds of cheeks over his grandfather's wrist. Elliot watches Bella—a panicked Bella.

"I … don't know."

Charlie gives her a look. He sighs.

"So what, he leaves when you tell him? That's who this guy is? A deadbeat on top of a thief? Jesus."

Bella closes her eyes and sighs. "He doesn't fucking know."

"Language."

"Oh, cut the shit, Dad. You want to know the truth? I did this to him. I … forced him into this damned relationship. Whatever it was. He's nothing like you think. Nothing.

"What? He stole your damn barrels to survive? A jar of our fucking peanut butter—"

Charlie points a finger. "Our damned lemon chicken. Your mother's chickens," he interrupts.

"—and he deserves this wrath?" she speaks over him. "This man—"

He scoffs. "Man."

"—he is the kindest, purest soul I've ever … more than I can ever say about you!" she raises her voice. "For years, I got to know who he really was, and I fell for him hard. Now, this. He left before I had the chance to tell him. Are you happy? That sure as hell should make you happy! I was an idiot to pursue him, but it's too late now, isn't it?"

Charlie cuts his eyes to her. "Years? You mean to tell me this has been going on for years?"

"Years," Bella spits. "Right under your nose," she jabs sarcastically. "Every chance I got, I took a nice long hike."

"Bella, there are sheriffs, detectives, even rifled men who've been looking for him for years. How the hell did you manage to find him? Do you realize how dangerous...?"

Bella chuckles over his speech. "Give an infatuated girl a task, she'll comb the Sahara, outrun the CIA. I'm telling you, you figure it out. With a good ounce of curiosity and utter summer-boredom, you'd find a Sasquatch, Dad. Fucking Bigfoot."

Charlie ignores her. They speak over one another in this lightning round.

"And all the while you're tight-lipped, and he's tearing through these cabins like he owns the place! How many times he must've taken from us, and it's like you left the door wide open."

"For books?" She raises her brows. "You're arguing about stolen books and canned food?"

"It's the principle," he argues.

"I had no control over that part of his life. I didn't help him steal. We literally just talked!"

"Talked, right." He tilts his head. "Babies are made through small talk. Chit-chat about the damned weather."

Bella growls, clawing the air.

"A criminal is what he is. My grandson's father is a damned criminal."

"Well, I guess I fell in love with a fucking criminal. Lock me up! Throw away the key for life," she shouts sarcastically.

He tsks. "Love. Is this what you think this is? Bringing a child into this … mess because of love? An obsession is what it was. I know you well."

Bella's shoulders drop. "For Christ's sake … I'm opening up to you. I'm being honest. I'm telling you about something that really happened, that was real to me. Extraordinary. It's mortifying to admit to my father that, me—" she says, hitting her chest. "—I have to deal with this consequence for the rest of my life. So, what's it to you? Why tear yourself apart over my mistake?"

"What's it to me?! You're my daughter. I promised your mother I would take care of you!" He's furious, but his hands are gentle as he brings the bottle back to an eager Elliot.

Bella is quiet after taking a sharp breath. Her eyes prickling under her fingertips, draining at the edges at the mention of her mother.

She gives up.

"Me," he enunciates, still yelling. "It's all up to me. Your safety is mine. Your well-being is all mine. And now it's doubled!"

She shakes her head. "Not my life. And not Edward's. He's mine to keep. Even if he never comes back." Her voice breaks.

Lightning round over. Just two individuals at each other's corners completely defeated.

Charlie bites his tongue. He watches her melt into long, curling, saddened tears. He looks away, but can't help glancing over at the laments. The pain. Renee would know what to do. This is not his forte.

"I lost him," she says, muffled over her arms. "I never had the chance to tell him about Elliot. And I will never see him again." Her head on her hands, they lie flat on the table. She sobs.

Charlie lets her. What else could he do? He sees her like this, and he can't help but let it sink in. He's never witnessed his brave, curious, and independent girl simmer to this. She's half herself. Her features older, different even. Her face, a permanent streak of worry. He sees her now, just like this, and he gets it, all these months her acting so strange. He thinks back, and the behavior has been relentless; when she didn't want to leave to start school, insisting on coming and staying at the cabin. Everything was with intention.

He's … impressed. She played this skillfully.

"Then who's on the paperwork? What's his last name?" He looks down at Elliot. He can't help but ask after stretched silence. He saw her signing the birth certificate at the hospital, heard her mention all the names, but the last, figuring it would be Jameson's. He's curious now. "What does E. A. stand for? Environmentally Acceptable?" He touches Elliot's nose. Elliot is rapt by this stubborn man.

Bella sniffs up all her courage. "Edward Anthony, his names," she answers, ignoring his horrible humor. "But he's a Swan if … that's all right with you."

"C'mere." Charlie gestures. When she doesn't move, he insists. He adjusts the baby in one arm and curls his other around Bella, who sits on his lap. Three generations of Swans.

"That is more than all right with me," he says before a pause. Charlie thinks. "Does that hermit—"

"Edward."

"Edward," he corrects, rolling his eyes. "Does he have a family? He must. Will they find out? Don't you think they'd know?"

Bella nods once over his shoulder. "My plan is to find them. It was always my plan before ... all of this. I will somehow."

Charlie is quiet, then adds. "Carefully. We don't know who they are, and Elliot is ours. You got that?"

Bella covers her mouth to hide the watery smile where he can't see.

"Thank Christ your mother didn't know about this. She wouldn't take this … insanity. She'd kill us all," he says, sighing, but his voice goes high as he talks straight to Elliot, who's still utterly rapt.

Bella makes a face. Charlie's eyes narrow at her silence.

"Oh, for crying out loud!" he yells.

Elliot shows Charlie his pink little gums when his smiling muscles get working, conveniently the first time.

…