Time for chapter two! But first, some brief notes on this fic:
It's going to be AU, and will not remotely follow the episodes on TV. And though this is a zombie story, it will be more along the lines of "Shaun of the Dead" or "Dead Alive" than any truly frightening zombie flick you may have seen. The undead can be funny! And, just to let you know, I'm not a big fan of the hero doctor, so if his characterization is less than flattering, that's why.
Disclaimer: I do not own "Lost," nor do I own the concept of the living dead.
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Charlie ran for the caves as fast as his legs could carry him, trying to reassure himself that Ethan could and would be stopped before he hurt anyone. Charlie wasn't sure what Ethan would do to someone if he had the chance, but he didn't think "kill them and eat their face" was entirely out of the question.
Unfortunately, the first person Charlie came across was the one castaway notorious for ignoring the legitimate concerns of terrified people, but he didn't have time to be picky.
"Jack!" he cried breathlessly, running up to the doctor and skidding to a halt.
"What is it, Charlie?" Despite the fact that Jack didn't appear to be doing anything of importance, he was still using his I'm-a-busy-doctor-and-I-don't-have-time-for-your-petty-issues voice.
"It's Ethan! He's…" Charlie thought about saying "alive," but decided that might not be the best choice of words. "He's back."
"Back?" Jack repeated, raising his eyebrows.
"Yes! He climbed out of the ground and now," Charlie trailed off at Jack's skeptical expression, but then finished, "he's back. We have to do something, or he'll-"
"Charlie, calm down."
"I won't bloody calm down!" Charlie knew he sounded ridiculous, but he didn't care. "Didn't you hear me? He's out there-"
"Look," Jack said, raising his hands in a placating gesture, "whatever you thought you saw out there…"
"Thought I saw?" Charlie interrupted indignantly.
"The fact is, Ethan's dead, Charlie. You shot him four times-"
"Seven times," Charlie interrupted again, annoyed that people kept getting the number wrong.
"Whatever," Jack said, sounding exasperated. "The point is, there's no way he could have survived that." He looked Charlie over, his expression changing from one of exasperation to one of professional concern. "Look, shooting him like that must have been pretty traumatic for you. Maybe-"
Charlie could see where this was headed. "I don't want to hear your psychoanalytical buggerall," he said hotly. "If you won't believe me, I'll find someone who will." He shoved his way past Jack and back into the caves. Maybe Locke would be around…
"Charlie?" Claire was sitting up next to her fire, diary in hand.
Not sure whether to be bothered by the delay or happy to talk to Claire, Charlie paused. "Hey, Claire."
She hesitated, looking at him in an annoyingly perceptive way. "Is something wrong?"
Oh, no, there's nothing wrong at all. It's just that the maniac who kidnapped us both, strung me up, took you into the jungle and did God-only-knows-what to you for two weeks isn't quite as dead as we all had hoped. Charlie sighed. He wasn't about to lie to her after what had happened last time, but he didn't want to worry her, either. So he gave her what he hoped was a reassuring smile. "Nothing I can't take care of."
She gave him a searching look, then lifted a shoulder in a half-shrug and smiled sheepishly. "Sorry… I just thought you looked a bit…"
"It's fine," Charlie said, waving a hand dismissively. Then he shifted uncomfortably, needing to leave but not really wanting to. "I'll be back soon, okay?"
"Sure," Claire said with a smile that wasn't sheepish at all. She bent back over her diary, and Charlie made himself turn away and continue through the caves, looking for Locke.
Instead, he found Steve. In fact, he very nearly bowled Steve over in his haste. He was a bit surprised to see him in the caves; he'd thought Steve was staying on the beach. But then again, if Charlie had had a twin brutally murdered on the beach, he imagined he'd want a change of scenery, as well.
Steve blinked at Charlie in surprise, then stepped out of his way. "Sorry," he muttered.
"No, my fault," Charlie replied. After toying with the idea of offering his condolences, he decided it would be awkward and instead just cut to the chase. "Have you seen Locke around?" Steve gave him a mystified look. "You know," Charlie elaborated, "the bald guy with the extensive knife collection?"
"Oh, him." Steve shook his head, and Charlie got the impression that this guy had gotten less sleep than he had. "No, sorry. What's the big hurry?"
"Well…" Charlie rocked back on his heels, wondering what to say. "There's sort of a… situation near the beach."
"What kind of situation?"
After the reaction he'd gotten from Jack, Charlie wasn't sure if he wanted to go telling just anyone about Ethan. But Steve looked very interested, and was probably in need of some sort of distraction… and really, if anyone had a right to know Ethan was back, the twin brother of one of his victims certainly did. Charlie looked thoughtfully at Steve. "I'll show you. Come on."
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"Bloody hell," Charlie hissed after skidding into the clearing. Ethan was no longer there.
Steve jogged up behind him and stopped, breathing hard after the run. He looked around the clearing and shook his head. "We ran all the way down here for this?"
"No," Charlie said testily, nibbling his lip and looking around the clearing. Where had he gone?
"What happened here?" Charlie turned around. Steve was standing by Ethan's gravesite and nudging clods of dirt with his shoe. He looked at Charlie and raised his eyebrows. "This is the 'situation' you were talking about, right?"
Charlie sighed and nodded at the empty grave. "That's where we buried Ethan."
An unidentifiable expression flitted across Steve's face at the name "Ethan," but he quickly composed himself. "He doesn't appear to be buried here."
"And that would be the situation I was talking about." Charlie picked up a long stick and used it to start poking through the bushes surrounding the clearing. Maybe Ethan had just stumbled a short distance away. Please let him have stumbled a short distance away…
"So… someone took the body?" Charlie jumped; Steve was standing right behind him, watching him poke through the shrubbery.
"No," Charlie said through gritted teeth, fighting back a growing sense of frustration. "The body climbed out on its own."
There was a long silence from Steve, followed by a snort of amusement. "What, you mean like a zombie or something?"
"No," Charlie shifted nervously. "Well… sort of."
There was another long silence from Steve, followed by a little giggle. "Are you on crack?"
Charlie gritted his teeth in profound irritation. "This isn't some kind of joke, all right?" He whirled around to glare at Steve and squeaked in surprise.
Ethan was in the middle of the clearing, staggering determinedly toward them.
"What?" Steve asked, looking at Charlie's horrified expression in confusion. He turned to follow Charlie's gaze and jumped. "Holy shit!"
"Urrrgghhhh," Ethan groaned in disappointment at being discovered so close to his goal.
"I told you!" Charlie prodded Ethan's chest with the tip of his stick, grateful that he had picked a good, long one.
"Urgh!" Ethan swatted at the stick, missed, and was carried several feet sideways by his momentum.
"What's that all over his face?" Steve inquired from behind Charlie. The region around Ethan's mouth was, Charlie suddenly noticed, liberally smeared with something that, in a perfect world, would have been catsup. But they were not in a perfect world, they were on an island of mystery in the middle of nowhere.
"Catsup?" Charlie guessed anyway.
"Yeah, right," Steve muttered shakily.
"You asked," Charlie replied with a shrug.
"Urrrrrgh," Ethan glared sullenly at the pair, then lifted a hand. He had a dead rat clutched in his fingers. As Charlie and Steve watched, Ethan took a large, sloppy bite.
"Ugh," Steve commented.
"At least it explains the blood," Charlie said, quite relieved that Ethan hadn't killed any castaways.
"Urrrgmph," Ethan grumbled as he chewed.
"What the hell are we going to do about him?"
"I've tried killing him with a stick," Charlie said with a shrug, "but it hasn't exactly worked, as you can see. I'm open to suggestions." Ethan took a step towards them, and Charlie prodded him back again.
"Because I was a professional zombie-killer back in the real world," Steve said sarcastically. "If killing him doesn't work, I'm about all out of ideas, Chuck."
"Don't call me Chuck," Charlie muttered, poking Ethan with the stick some more. "Fine, neither of us have any ideas. I'll keep Ethan busy. You go find Locke and bring him down here. He'll know what to do," he said with considerably more confidence than he felt.
"Right." Steve started to edge back toward the caves, then paused. "Locke's the… uh… bald one?"
"Yes. He'll probably be hanging around with Boone, the pretty boy whose eyes are too close together," Charlie snapped impatiently. "Anything else?"
"No. Well…" Steve hesitated again. "Good luck. Charlie."
"Thanks," Charlie replied, somewhat taken aback. But Steve was already gone.
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There's a somewhat longer chapter! Now for reviewer responses!
cryogenie: If you spewed your goldfish crackers all over your laptop, my job is done. ;) Thanks bunches for the review! It made me giggle!
Anamaria Elentari: Yes! Chah-lie, indeed! Glad you're enjoying it!
Satara: I DID notice those things! And I love "Young Frankenstein!" Such a funny movie. Don't worry, I'm having way to much fun with this fic to NOT keep it up.
Quirky Writer: I could… my goodness, the possibilities are limitless! I shall have to consider this most carefully. ;)
Megan Sleevewillow: So did I. ;) Lost rocks!
Ember the angry Firedrake: Don't worry, all of the zombies will be more amusing than frightening. For the most part, anyway.
FrighteninglyObsessed: A lot of people were wondering that same thing, apparently. :P Thank you!
Kath: I am particularly proud of that line. Hehehe. Yeah, we shall have to have another one!
Mint Sauce: Accurate characterization from me? That's the scariest thing of all! ;)
Medea12: Hehehe! Yeah, well…
Thanks for the reviews, everyone! Hope this chapter pleases.
Platy