Chapter Two: Worthless Attempts

Staying Away From Lupin:

Plan A

Do not talk to him.

Do not look at him.

Do not smile at him.

Stop thinking about him.

Think about what would happen if he figured out who you really were.

Do all of the above continually.

IF PLAN A SHALL FAIL:

Plan B

Leg it.

My first Order meeting went along smoothly. The Weasley's, as planned, recognized me, but (thank the Lord Almighty) did not call me by my dreadful first name. Actually, it went quite smoothly, something very unusual for me. It happened something like this:

Me: -sits at table- Wotcher, all.

McGonagall: This is N-

Me: Tonks! Tonks! Please call me Tonks! I like Tonks!

Dumbledore: -twinkles and chuckles-

Everybody Else: …

McGonagall: Er, well, yes. This is Tonks, our newest recruit.

Me: -goes temporarily insane- Howdy!

Dumbledore: -twinkles some more-

Everybody Else: …

(Meeting continues and ends smoothly)

(After meeting) Charlie: Tonks! Wow, it's awesome to see you again. –hugs me-

Me: -grin- Likewise, mate.

Mrs. Weasley: -squints and finally recognizes me- Oh, Tonks, dear! –hugs me, looking slightly disappointed-

Ron: (who magically just turned up) So you're that metamorphosis Charlie had a crush on all these years?

Charlie: -slap-

Ron: -angered- Bloody git … !

Me: -intrigued- Is that so?

Charlie: -blushes- Well … yeah … but, you know, I never thought I had a chance, you were always --!

Me: -slaps hand to his mouth- Haha, yes, I was always just too … happy to pay attention to men, wasn't I? –meaningful glare and weak laughter-

Charlie: -finally getting it through his head that I don't want the whole of the Order to know I was a bit of a tramp in my Hogwarts days (fine, a lot of one)- Oh. Right. –nods too eagerly-

Lupin: -raises eyebrow oh-so-sexily … damn! Damn it all to hell! –

Ron: So can you do it?

Me: -getting the completely wrong message- What?

Ron: Your metamorphmaging … can you demonstrate?

Me: -shakes head for being so sick minded. I need help- Uh … sure. –scowls and turns nose into pig snout. Suddenly realizes Lupin is there and blushes. Suddenly realizes I shouldn't care that I realize Lupin is there, and mentally berate self. He is nothing to me. Nothing!-

Ron: -awed-

Me: -feels like bowing. Wish I had.-

Lupin: -smiles-

Me: Yes, indeed.

-awkward silence-

I almost forgot how much I had missed Charlie. He had been my only friend at Hogwarts, really, now that I think about it. All the girls in my year hated my guts, claimed I stole their boyfriends (which equals hating my guts, eventually), or made fun of me. It wasn't my fault I was clumsy. Am clumsy. And rather than Charlie, most guys didn't think I was worth talking to. Charlie was good, he didn't judge. I loved him then, and I'll probably start to love him again. Just not in the tingly, swooning, loooove sort of way. Just in a sibling sort of way. Which makes it all the more funny that he had a crush on me. Ah, Charles, darling.

Sitting in front of the rapidly dying fire, I absently tugged on my hair, pulling it slowly into long, black ringlets. The classic Black hairstyle.

"Is that your real hair color?" I turned. Lupin. Why must God punish me so?

"Mhmph," I answered, which really didn't make any sense at all. But I couldn't talk! I couldn't look at him! And I desperately, desperately wanted this plan to work. Plan B really sucked. Especially since I was wearing high heels. Damn Prada.

"Oh." Answered Lupin, sounding kind of defeated. I really, really wanted to look at him. I think I hurt his feelings. Still, he wasn't leaving. Maybe I should hurt his feelings. I did need him to leave. "I think sexy eye-brow raising went out with the corset."

I did not just say that.

Silence. Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear. KILL ME NOW!

"How interesting." His voice was soft, and … what the -? I turned around, only just in time to see him burst in laughter.

This was not going well.

"Please forget I said that," I croaked, very, very, very quietly, and I don't think he heard over his bout of insane laughter. This was really getting freaky.

Just that moment, my savoir, my wonderful, wonderful cousin, the lovely Sirius Black came in, a puzzled expression on his face.

"Save me," I squeaked, but again, I think the cackles drowned it out. Perhaps my desperate expression will tip him off.

"What's up with him?" Or not.

"I…" I think I now know what the ultimate torture is. "I…told him that I think…sexy eye-brow raising went out with the corset!" I gasped. I hadn't meant to actually say that. Oh, no, no, no. I've been cursed.

Sirius blinked at me for a moment. Then he joined Lupin on the floor, laughing his arse off.

I hate that sod.

Damning my huge mouth and stupid misfortune, I stood up and ran for it.

---

Alright, I think they've forgotten about it now. I went and hid out in Diagon Alley for a few hours, drowning my sorrows in ice cream. Mint chocolate-chip. Damn, it was good.

I'm only a few feet from the kitchen, sneaking along the walls in a very sneaky fashion. I couldn't be found. I'll just go and get a glass of milk, then head upstairs for the night, and no one will even talk about it tomorrow.

Ok. I'm right beside the kitchen. It sounds pretty silent. I think I'm home free…

OH DAMN!

I promptly tripped over the rug, falling face-first onto the floor length mirror, causing it to fall over, knocking over a small table in the progress, and shattering it into a million pieces.

"Bloody rug!" I screamed, running in circles, and pulling at my hair.

It was only a few seconds before I heard the inevitable sounds. I opened my eyes and saw Lupin and Sirius, huddled together, laughing like hyenas.

Defeated, I hung my head and went upstairs. I needed a new plan.

---