A/N: Love you. Thank you all so much. Next chapter is the end. xoxo
Chapter 69 - He Has A Plan
Days later…
Bella rubs her eyes with fatigue. Books in front of her in a quiet room. Finally, Elliot naps.
She needs sustenance; she stands and prepares coffee. It purrs and drips. She stares at that, unblinkingly.
She imagines him doing the same this very second. They used to share a warm afternoon cup when he'd come. He's probably there now, opening a stocked cupboard, full of non-perishables. All there, per Sam's generosity. She left a few things herself. Anything he'll use to wash himself will smell of her home. Same body wash, same soap bottle by the sinks. She made sure he had everything.
Enough to probably never see him again.
She curses at herself. Her overzealous help. She should've kept the sugar; he would at least have a reason to come back. She laughs in disbelief.
She finally showed him the cabin. She gave up the secret and gave him up in the process. She wanted him to discover it, but after the ambush her family caused, it had to be rushed. More so, she hoped the notion of staying with her would have been more appealing by offering the room first. He would be around her, his son, not isolated like he always seeks in life.
She sighs.
Edward, all the way across the woods, stares at the cup of coffee in his hands. He's gazing out the window. It's too quiet where he sits, so the door is open, letting in all the sounds he was familiar with for years. He's not nostalgic, nor lost in the sounds like he used to be. He's listening to the defining silence in this cabin, and the raging thoughts in his mind.
They both sit in their respective homes, thinking about each other.
He thinks about this big gesture, an encompassing of four walls, and then he thinks about that kiss.
She thinks about it too, where she is.
She kissed him twice, didn't she? No. She kissed him many times. She brings a palm to her head, then her eyes, then her lips. The sting of reality makes her wince. She takes a cleansing breath.
She kissed him, completely leaping into delicate territory. She always did have too much bravery.
To him, she was perfect. Boldly giving in, no hesitating. He felt a sort of relief because maybe he wouldn't have done it himself.
Those lips she loves.
Those lips he remembers far away where he sits.
The moment he climbed in here she wanted him. It was hard living here with him around and not getting a single touch. They were getting there. Just the other night, their hands entwined, as the movie played. Just that, and she was aflame.
They were really getting there. Now it's gone. Officially. To shit.
She drops the mug hard on the counter as he cradles his, unknowing of her agonizing thoughts.
He wonders why she left him here. She surprised him with ... too much. Then just left.
She sucks in a breath, and more tears spill. God, she's tired. She picked a good one, didn't she? Bella can't be normal. No. Bella picks the ones that tear her apart. James, now this one. Renee knew. Charlie figured it out too late. He was right all along. It was inevitable this would end this way; him far away, hiding again.
She'll move on. Maybe to Boston? She will go … anywhere.
She sighs yet again.
She will go nowhere. Not away from here. This is home for her and Elliot.
Edward asks himself if this is where he'd like to be. It was years here. Well, he lost track of time. It never felt like years. The few days he's been here have felt like an eternity. He takes a sip and takes a walk around the … house. He looks up at the walls, the ceiling. All made well. Strong and sturdy.
Bella sips her coffee and decides she'll dwell on change later, whatever that might be. There's still time … for grieving, sulking, now that everyone has left her alone. Finally, no calls. Not even Jen has texted after all that mess.
She washes her mug, then the sink, then the watermarks on other things. Soon enough, Bella has a rag in her hand, wiping the counters down and all the appliances. She pulls out the filled cabinets below. Some items are soon scattered, surrounding her. She cleans it all up and restores. The fridge is next. She organizes.
Yes. A distraction. She'll do that.
Edward, too, has already raided all the cupboards, cabinets, and the small fridge in this small cabin. To look … to nose around curiously. He actually opened the oven's lid and looked in. He wondered if he ever used one. He hasn't. Does he need one? Do they think he needs one? It's what normal, society-driven people need, he guesses. The types who work nine to five jobs, make big meals. Is that who he is now?
He hasn't touched it since. Maybe he never will. So far, he's just touched the stovetop to heat a canned soup he found. He ate that and quickly washed the dishes, putting it all back like a guest at a stranger's house.
The moment Bella is putting away her own dishes she sees that water bottle. It isn't hers, nor Elliot's. They're chaotic and colorful. It's metal, and it's simple.
It's his.
He washed it. He put it out to dry with the other dishes. The cap neatly hangs beside it.
"You see?" she says out loud like he could hear. "You fit!" She seethes. His things. Her things. Elliot's things. They all fit by the sink together. He's already made this his home.
It looks so good. It looks so perfect there. Bella picks it up and turns it in her hands. Worn, but sturdy. Like him. She hugs it. It's ridiculous, but she holds it to her chest as tears stream out.
He thinks he's had enough. It's been like this every waking moment since he's been here. He had a plan. This wasn't it. She made him pick up all his belongings, and she brought him here.
Does she think this is what he wants? Or is this what she settled on giving him? Is her offer up? Was this her plan for him all along?
And then her words come to him before she left. She hopes she'll see him again?
That just pisses him off.
That's just it. This is her way of planting him into something she thinks he wants.
The warmth of anger prickles at his neck. He will ask her all these frustrating things if he must. He can't just stand here.
He had a plan.
His mug flies off the porch and into a pretentious fucking fire pit. He kicks a white-washed chair out of his way to rush across the woods. He's halfway there. Not a break of sweat. His footsteps are wavered, reckless. He doesn't think of anything but the words he'd like to say.
The moment he finds that door of hers he's looking in, but frozen. He watches her. She's bent over slightly, and she's crying, hugging something to herself.
A loud knock on a window and Bella looks up, startled. A gust of wind rattles the doors. She sees a dark figure through the mugginess and fog. Her heart at her throat suddenly. Then it looks familiar. The figure that stood there waiting every morning for her to let in.
This time, he's looking in. Eyes pinned on her through the window, hand resting on the pane. He waits for her.
Her heart leaps. She numbly goes and opens the door.
Edward steps in looking rested and clean-shaven, but there is trouble in his eyes. His clothes are neat and clean. Of course, he must've found the small washer Sam provided on a limb. Everything is perfect just for him.
He brushed back the tendrils that are long at the top of his head, making him look older and ... handsome as ever. Bella's stomach twists. This is the lived-in version of this man. A resident. He's got a home now, and he's in his element. Why would he need her?
She wonders what he's come for. It's been days.
She looks down at the metal bottle, still in her hand. Maybe he came back for it?
Oh, God, he came back for it.
She lifts her hand, and mindlessly offers it to him. No words.
He looks at it, then at her, brows slightly knitted. He gets close.
The room is dim with the wash of fog. Her neck stretches back as he towers over her, shadows ghosting over him from the window. They're chest to chest when he slaps the bottle out of her hand. It tumbles away on the carpet.
She sucks in a breath.
His air so intense. He looks at her with the darkest eyes.
This is different. She almost asks what's wrong, but the words are all caught up. Her lips part. What's this change in him?
"Edward?" she murmurs. His chest heaving slightly, like he rushed here, she feels it.
She blinks, and his mouth is already on hers. A sigh slips from her welcoming lips.
What she doesn't know is his inner musings, all rolled up into a burning ball of energy. If only two humans could immediately feel each other's thoughts upon a single kiss, to realize they both yearn for the very same thing. There would be less fight, more understanding. Sealed with a kiss.
He takes her breath away, and all her doubts. He lets out the perfect amount of steam he's been piling up.
She pulls back after a moment to get a good look at him. His eyes hooded, far away, like a switch was flipped. She feels his breath against her cheek, and it's choppy, exhilarated. He's completely and utterly shaken. He's on a cloud above the trees he's accustomed to stare at all through the night. His hands crawl up her sides, to her shoulders, and he holds on tight.
Bella smiles as sheer joy swells in her chest. She opens up. Anything he'd like to take, he can. So, he does.
He kisses her again with everything he's got, and he's the same as that night when they were together. She let him do whatever he liked, and she does that now—Pine and cedar at his lips, the scent sweeping over her tongue.
All she can muster are curled fingers at his back. She's a vessel, delightfully taking what pours in. Tears at the edge of her lids, heels off the floor to reach up to him. She holds on tight.
Finally. Finally. They speak a common language. He wants her, and she wants him.
"Wait," she manages. Elliot's open door is a sad threat. He pecks her lips, pulling on her, eyes closed.
"No," he murmurs, a nip of her mouth. Absolutely not.
He's got a plan.
She melts back into his elbow, another hard kiss before she gets to speak. She won't get rid of him this time, not by leaving him behind in a cabin, and not here. He won't have it. He wants nothing more than this right now. She smiles, giving in, hoping to God they don't get interrupted by a toddler.
Her thought floats away when he pins her to a wall. He dares anything, or anyone to come and interrupt.
"Oh, god," she whispers breathlessly, clawing his chest. His lips trail to her neck. Well, he's good. She doesn't remember this much.
She can't take it. She grabs his hand and pulls him to the couch. She settles in first, then he follows, her hands against his chest, snug where they sit. He was here with her just the other night, a movie and his loud son—but his raging thoughts.
Why didn't he kiss her then? All this time wasted. He always was late to accept. Her curves beneath his hands. He glides the pads of his fingers down her neck, to the edge of her dress. He looks at that. The locks of hair getting caught over her glowing skin. He watched those details before, at the table, as she moved nervously around the room. Waves slipped off her shoulder as she fussed over her schoolbooks. A tuck behind her ear at times. The blush at her neck when she knew he watched. How could he not have seen those signs as elation, running over goosebumps?
Bella sighs, bracing herself. He slowly makes his way to her chest … the place he was so vigilant of for so many days. He tugs on her sweater over her shoulder and chases that.
He's not shy. That hesitance in him is gone when he knows what he wants. He has never paused to take, to survive, he certainly doesn't now. Edward grapples at her waist and pulls her to him without an ounce of distrust.
They don't stop meeting in the middle, not for hours. Her lips permanently pursed that way; pink and content. They're lazy and slow. Their fronts together. A knee between both of his. He's already trailed a hand up and down her bare leg. His palm around her toes and ankle. Nothing he'd find in rough bark or bulky mulch digging into his back. Everything here is soft.
"Edward," she utters.
He's quiet. Well, he's focused on kissing, not talking.
"Do you really remember?" she asks. Her lashes fan his face. The tip of his finger dips the small bow between her breasts. He has to let the words register. "You know, that night?" she adds. As if to remind him of something he would never forget. He doesn't answer quickly, but he kisses her lips.
"You mean when this was all off," he says about her clothes. "And there was nothing between us?" He offers.
Bella's smiles, blushing. Well, yes. That's what she meant. Straight and to the point. He wastes no time when he's willing.
"Like the lake?" he adds. Bella holds her breath at that. Their lake swim years ago.
"You … remember that?" She asks, smiling.
"You intended for me to forget that?" He pulls at her hair from over her shoulder. His eyes there.
Her brows jolt. Well, he figured her out long ago. She tries not to let out a laugh; she covers her eyes. He pulls the hand away to get to her forehead. One sweet kiss. He's not deterred in all this jabber. He's focused, eyes cast down over her with every touch.
She takes in a deep breath, nose to jaw, like hugging sweet, crisp, torn leaves. "So, did you? Forget?" she whispers.
He parts from her cheek soundly. She loves those sounds from him—new favorite things.
He's quiet. Thinking. All the anger simmered from earlier. He pulls back a little, but his gaze doesn't meet hers, just the collar bone under his fingers he's already kissed dozens of times by now.
"There were these fields where I was," he says. "Lavender. Purple bushes. They stretched for acres. Very peaceful. The fragrance … It takes over your senses … wraps you up. It was enough to stick to my clothes, to everything, sending me to sleep for hours," he explains. "But in the mornings, I'd get to sit on the tall tractor, and I'd see far beyond to the end of it. Rows of it. A grand sight." He looks at her eyes after musing. "Even then, I couldn't," he says.
Bella's eyes water. The trails spill over his thumb, where he rests it on her cheek.
Her chin trembles. She nods her head. He did think of her. That's what kept her from sleep at night.
She sniffs, revs up her courage too, just like he has. For him to even share those words …
"I missed you so much. It hurt badly," she says, barely keeping calm.
His brows knit, watching her.
"I thought I lost you. And then again the other day." Her breath staggers. "I know … I know you won't grow to love me, maybe never. I'm fine with that. You're special. You're honest. I've never met a man like you. But I just have to tell you how much I'm in love with you." She silently cries, her hands on her lap, fidgeting under his watchful eyes. "I have been, since the beginning. You have to know that people on this earth love you so much. That, while you're alone, seeking silence, basking in it, people are loving you." She quickly runs a few fingers down his face.
"I'll give you all the time and space you need. I'm willing to give you all of it, as long as you give me some of you." She shakes her head. "Anything."
"And if not me, then Elliot. He's enough. I'll take that. You tell me and I'll … back off." She presses her lips together with a new burst of emotion. "But I don't want you to stay away, or worse, leave—to live aimlessly, dangerously. It isn't like you.
"You want peace? We gave it to you. You can come back to this house, for visits, food … chaos," she says with a laugh. "A toddler in his terrible twos." Her smile fades softly. "But … I don't want you to ... forget about us. You can come here, stay there. Whatever you like. But I want you safe."
His eyes are blinkless as he stares at a wall.
She fears she's gone too far. The unease seeps in.
"So, what do you get?" He cuts his eyes to her. "Where's the benefit for you?"
Bella swallows, finding the words. Well, him but she can't well say that.
"You're careful around me. Why is that? Are you frightened of me?" He asks.
Her brows furrow, mouth gapes. "No. I …"
"What are you afraid I'll say? Do you think I'll go mad? Break down onto your floors in some crazed state?" he asks. "I was angry, but I always meant to come back. I understand this fully." He scratches his head after a pause. "Or, learning to."
Bella shuts her mouth.
"Yet, here you are. So willing to offer everything up." He adds, looking at her. "Don't do that for anyone. Especially me. You've worked hard for everything you have. I had no presence there. I wasn't here."
"You can be."
He shakes his head, closes his eyes briefly. "You didn't let me ask."
Oh. She covers her lips, mortified. Right. Integrity.
"I'm so …" she begins to apologize. He lifts a hand.
She nods, sealing her lips.
"I went to Emmett because I needed to make the accommodations before asking. I owe him. Maybe he owes me. It worked out. I get to work off sweat to get on his good graces again. Eric's got my back, at least. So does my father.
"I have a job." He looks at her. Simply said.
Bella's stomach flutters. She keeps quiet, knowing she could never interrupt when he's opening up. He gets ready to say more.
"I opened an account right after. Everything that goes in it will be yours and Elliot's. I budged until I got Emmett to settle for best, not something he'd otherwise toss at an infuriating brother. I … owe a lot of people, I figured this could be the start." He's pink at the ears.
He takes his time for what's next. He tugs his brow, weaves his fingers together on his lap. He glances over, then away.
Bella bites down on her lip, holding for the worst. She leans back beside him where she faces him, her legs still curled over his knee, not daring to move. She folds her arms across her chest.
She waits.
"I guess what I wanted to ask, was about that room. Its availability." His eyes travel to her slowly.
She's thrown. "But … I thought ..." She sits up. "You don't like the cabin?"
He looks at her like she's gone mad. "Bella, I don't deserve it." He shakes his head incredulously. "Why would you show me the cabin and walk away? Do you really think of me that way? I've done enough. I can't keep taking things that do not belong to me."
She's speechless. She thought he would be elated, dive right in, lock the door behind him, and see her never.
"Edward. You lived there for a decade. You can't give it up. The land is already yours."
"It isn't. It's Elliot's," he simply says. "I didn't ask for it. Do I appreciate the gesture? Yes, wholeheartedly. You, Sam?… Sam," he says, trying out the name. He rubs his head. "I owe you my life. And … I tried. I sat there, and I tried because I thought that's what you wanted for me. It was different before. This time they aren't my efforts."
Bella sits back, suddenly exhausted. "Okay. So, now what? It sits there?" Edward shrugs slightly. "You'd really stay here instead?"
"You ... have a change of heart? Is that why you left? Settled me in first?"
She sighs. "No. I wanted you to be comfortable. I just …"
"Assumed." He finishes. "Why would you think it's what I want? Why would you assume my response to anything you ask of me would be savage? 'I won't grow to love you, maybe never?' You don't think it's possible I could be already … ?"
She lets out a sob. She brings her hand to her lips. A flood of tears pours out at that. She feels ashamed, but beautiful, all at once.
She shrugs after a moment, her hand at her cheek where she leans. "You're an enigma, Edward Anthony Cullen. Could you blame me?"
He looks away. He guesses he can't. God, he's all fucked up. He has so much to learn, mostly give up.
After a smoldering moment of silence, she says, "Then ask me. Ask again."
He glances back at her, his nerves a mess once again. His anger simmers.
"Bella Swan, would you let me work for and rent your guest room?"
"Hm," she says, smacking her lips, thinking. "I'll have to consult with the little landlord." She jokes. Edward stares blankly. This time she'll make him work for it. No hand-outs.
He gets it. He respects it. He then nods. "Fair enough." He looks around the room, then at his watch. It's about that time, he thinks. He stands and circles the couch. Bella's heart lurches, watching him. Then she instantly calms. She kneels on the cushions to watch. He calmly goes for the door, a single finger pushing it open, like the first time he visited his room.
He's out of sight, and Bella waits, with this joy swelling again. She smiles when a very small sleepy voice calls out for Eh-ward. It travels out to the living room.
The two re-appear stuck together, Elliot over his shoulder, resting there, per his routine. "Hey, cowboy," Edward whispers by his ear. Bella hears. Elliot's little lips perk up, but he stays still.
Kids are way more resilient, instantly forgetting his hurt from days of absence.
They stand by the doors, and this warm sun breaks through the muggy day, right over them. Bella watches transfixed as their eyes brighten the same blue. Edward whispers something lengthy in his ear. Elliot nods over his shoulder as a response. "You sure?" Edward audibly asks. That just makes Elliot straighten in his arms. He looks at him and nods before he engulfs Edward's head in a tight hug. He reverts to lying on his shoulder. "Let's go," Edward encourages.
Bella swallows hard. That was a sight; their bond is already undeniable. She lets out a shaky breath to keep more tears at bay as Edward walks over to sit. Elliot is already facing her. She tilts her head and pokes his nose.
"Can Eh-ward stay, Mommy?" She smiles, laughs a little. Not fair.
"You want him to?" Her brows go big. "Only if you want him to. Or else, we won't get to see him as often. Do you want that?" Elliot shakes his head.
"I want him to stay fo-ever." Bella bites down on her lip. She sucks in a breath. Edward seems to look away. Oh, he feels it too, she knows it.
"Yeah, me too, baby. He can stay." She rubs his back. "Are you gonna tell him, or should I?" She teases.
Elliot straightens, straddling his torso. "You can stay!" He booms too loudly, nodding at Edward. Two thumbs sticking up.
Bella snorts. Edward winces, but he's blushing a little.
Elliot is a bit more awake now. Bella thinks about it hard. She braves it, gives it a shot.
"Hey, Elliot. You know how we play hide-n-seek, but Mommy sometimes hides, and you can still see Mommy anyway?" she asks. "Because she's just too tired to hide for real?" she side notes, hand cupping her mouth. Elliot laughs.
"Mommy does that a lot! She's so funny." Elliot tells Edward. Edward cracks a smile.
"Daddy's been playing too, you know. He wasn't hiding either. Did you know that?"
Elliot's eyes brighten, his mouth excitedly forms an 'o'. He claps his hands. Bella grabs Edward's between them and squeezes.
"You know where he's been this entire time! Isn't that funny?" She tells Elliot. "Guess who?" She wiggles her brows. She glances at Edward and back at him as a clue.
Elliot gasps, looking down at him. "I gotchu, I gotchu!" Elliot squeals loudly. "I got Daddy, too!" Elated, he drops over him with a big hug and pops up again. "You were Daddy this whole time!" Edward catches the little bomb that goes off. He hugs him close, and he's jostled where he sits as Elliot bounces over him. He can't help but chuckle at the sight.
Bella's throat closes. Her damn tears. She lifts Edward's hand still in hers, and she kisses the back of it. She looks over. "Okay?" He answers with a nod, but like emotions have gripped him. He remains silent, keeping his composure. He smirks at Elliot when he must.
"Daddy, come. I can show you your room," Elliot says. Bella laughs. As if Edward hasn't already seen it. But, the way he called on him … they both look over at one another, Edward looking nervous.
"You're welcome." Bella whispers, teasing. She waves as they go, but not before he stops at the back of the couch, bends, and lays a kiss on her lips.
She'll take this day just as it was—troubled, then perfect. And It won't be the last.
…..