The next morning came and Kim felt torn. She knew she needed to have a conversation with Adam. Trudy made that much clear. She also wanted to take Makayla to visit like they discussed before Adam changed his mind. The only problem with that is Kim knew she wouldn't be able to have such a big conversation with Makayla around. It would only make the little girl worry even more.
She decided to stick to the original plan of taking Makayla to breakfast before visiting Adam, but instead of taking her home at lunch, she would ask her sister to pick her up so she could talk to Adam.
Kim quietly slipped into Makayla's room around 8:30 am to wake her up. Makayla had no idea what was in store for her. Kim decided to make it a surprise because she knew if she told Makayla last night, it's all she would talk about and she would never go to sleep. "Hey sleepy head. Time to wake up." Kim rubbed her back lightly as Makayla buried her face in her pillow.
"5 more minutes." Makayla mumbled, not ready to get up yet.
"Fine. But no more than that. We got a big day ahead." Kim started dropping hints.
Makayla must have been tired because she just nodded her head, not thinking twice about what Kim just said.
Kim decided to go get her coffee ready before heading back in to get Makayla up for good this time. She flicked on the light this time as she started getting Makayla's clothes out for the day. "Alright Mak. 5 Minutes is up. Time to get up or we're gonna be late!"
Makayla slowly sat up and threw the blanket off. "We gotta hurry. Here's your clothes." Kim put them on the bed before leaving the room so Makayla could change.
"These aren't my normal school clothes." Makayla stated as Kim was walking out of the room.
"That's because you're not going to school today." Kim smiled and winked before retreating back to the kitchen.
"Why not? Where are we going?" Makayla had all sorts of questions swirling around in her head.
"I thought we could go to breakfast and then if you were up for it, we could go see Adam?" Kim expected excitement from Mak, but not this much.
"Really!? Like really really!? Today? I get to see him today!?" She was jumping up and down, unable to contain her excitement.
"Really really!" Kim responded. "Now hurry up and get ready so we can get there."
Makayla didn't need to be told twice. She ran right back into her room, got dressed, brushed her teeth and hair and was ready before Kim was even able to finish her coffee. "I'm ready!"
Kim dumped the rest of her coffee down the sink knowing she was just going to order more at the restaurant and grabbed her purse and keys. "Let's head out then."
Makayla skipped the whole three blocks to their breakfast spot with a huge smile plastered on her face the entire time. "I still can't believe I get to see Adam today!"
"I'm sure he can't wait to see you!" Kim smiled. Adam was still pretty moody so she could only hope he was in a good mood today, or that he at least played along while Mak was there.
As Kim and Makayla entered the diner, they were once again greeted by Pete. "There's one of my favorite customers!" Pete smiled as he once again headed to the bakery counter to fetch Makayla's cookie. "Brought mom again I see." He smiled, saying hello to Kim.
"I get to go see Adam today!" Makayla shouted as she took a bite of her cookie.
"That's great news! How's he doing?" Pete asked and Kim could tell he was generally concerned.
"We're taking it day by day, but he's getting there." Kim shrugged, keeping her response vague to not worry Makayla.
"Good to hear. We all miss him around here."
"We miss him too, don't we?" Kim said as she placed her hand on Makayla's head and gently shook it around.
"Sure do. But he'll be home soon!"
Kim just smiled. She really had no idea how long it would be until Adam was able to come home.
Pete brought them over to their table and took their orders. Makayla decided to use the back of her placemat to draw Adam another picture, insisting she couldn't visit him empty handed.
As Pete brought out their breakfast, he noticed Makayla only ate half of her cookie. "Was the cookie not up to your standards today?" Pete joked.
"It was great! I'm saving the other half for Adam. He loves chocolate chip cookies almost as much me!"
"I'll tell you what. Why don't you finish your cookie, and Ill grab another one from the bakery just for Adam before you leave?" Pete offered.
"He'll love that!" Makayla's excitement grew. She couldn't wait to see Adam's face when she gave him his own cookie.
Kim smiled up at Pete but didn't say anything. She didn't want to burst Makayla's bubble.
They ate their breakfast rather quick, and as promised, Pete packed an extra cookie to go, adding two extras for Makayla and Kim to have later on for a total of three. Kim once again insisting on paying, but this time found out the owner picked up the tab.
"Is this an all the time thing? Is that why Adam always insists on coming here?" Kim joked.
Pete laughed. "No. We're all just worried about him. He's become very well liked around here. The least we can do is make sure his girls are taken care of." What he didn't tell her was that Adam had always been an extremely gracious tipper, sometimes to the point they tried to deny the tip, and this was their way of returning the favor.
"That really is kind of you, but next time we come, I'm paying." Kim responded with a smile.
"If you say so." Pete smiled as they said their goodbyes.
"I can't wait to see the look on Adam's face when I give his cookie!" Makayla stated as she got in the car.
Kim smiled, wanting to prepare Makayla now. "Makayla, honey. I'm sure he'll be very grateful for the cookie. I'm not sure if he'll be up for eating it yet though."
"Why not? He loves them. Besides, cookies make everyone feel better."
"You know how sometimes when people are sick, they don't really want to eat anything?" Kim was trying her best to explain the situation to her daughter.
"Yeah?" Makayla stated confusion all over her face.
"Well, that's what Adams going through right now. He doesn't feel all that great so he hasn't really been eating all that much. Just yesterday I brought him his favorite soup and even that he only ate a few bites." Kim looked in the rearview to see if Makayla was understanding.
"But I thought he was hurt, not sick."
"He is, baby, but sometimes when people are in a lot of pain, it makes them not feel so good. And some of the medications they have him on make you not hungry." Kim didn't feel the need to explain the full extent of the damage being shot did to Adam. She knew enough. He was shot multiple times, was hurt pretty bad from it, and had to stay in the hospital to help him recover.
Makayla thought about it for a second. "I guess that makes sense." She paused, looking a little sad. "So should I not give him the cookie?"
"I don't think giving it to him can hurt. It's the thought that counts right?"
Makayla's smile returned. "Ok great!"
Kim pulled into the parking lot at the hospital and found a spot to park. As they got out of the car she wanted to remind Makayla of a few things and prepare her for a potential bad mood from Adam. "Now remember Mak. Adam's very banged up so we have to be very careful around him, alright?" The last thing she wanted her to do was run up to Adam or jump up on the bed to try to hug him.
"I know." Makayla said.
"And if he seems a little cranky it has nothing to do with you, okay? He's been in a lot of pain which kind of makes him have a lot of bad moods."
"That's okay. I get in bad moods sometimes too." Makayla's response just made Kim smile. After everything the little girl had been through, she still somehow always found the positive in things.
They checked in at security and got their visiting badges by 10:00. On their way up the elevator, Kim could tell Makayla was having a hard time containing their excitement. She loved how much Makayla loved and looked up to Adam. Their relationship really was something special.
Once the elevator opened its door, they walked out and around the corner to Adam's room. Before walking in the door, Kim turned to Makayla one last time. "Ready?"
"I'm so ready!" Makayla jumped up and down.
"Okay. Just remember, we have to be careful." Kim opened the door and slipped in, making sure Makayla was behind her to try to gauge Adam's mood this morning.
"Morning." Kim said, as Adam's eyes moved from the TV to her. "I brought you a surprise."
Makayla couldn't wait any longer. She ran around Kim and straight over to Adam.
Much to Kim's surprise, Adam seemed to be in a decent mood and smiled.
"Hey baby." Adam said, trying to get a good look at Makayla. The neck brace was still preventing him from turning his head and Makayla was too far up for him to really be able to see her.
"I missed you." Makayla stated as Kim grabbed her shoulders and moved her a little closer to the foot of the bed so Adam could see her better.
"I missed you too. I'm sorry you couldn't come sooner." Adam apologized. He was initially annoyed when Kim and Makayla first came in, completely forgetting he told Kim she could come today, but seeing her really did put him in a better mood.
"It's okay. I brought you a present!" Kim held up the bag of cookies from the diner and the picture she drew for him. "Mr. Pete gave us all cookies. Mom said you might not eat yours but that I could still give it to you."
Adam let out a slight laugh, trying to hide the wince that came with it, but only managed to hide it from Makayla. "Does that mean mom knows our little secret?"
"Yeah." Makayla laughed. "But she's okay with it."
Adam made eye contact with Kim, who was just smiling, then back down to Makayla. "Guess we gotta find a new secret then, huh?" He joked.
Makayla put the bag of cookies and the drawing down on the table then walked back over to the side of the bed. As she did so, Adam tried to hold her hand, but Makayla backed away, almost looking scared. "What's wrong Mak?" Kim asked, seeing a completely change in Makayla's mood.
"I don't want to hurt him." She replied quietly.
"Oh baby, it's okay. I hold his hand all the time, see?" Kim moved around to the other side of the bed and grabbed Adams other hand, making sure she avoided the IV ports.
"I promise it won't hurt me Mak. If anything, it would make me feel better." Adam smiled.
"Really?" Makayla wasn't entirely convinced but stepped closer to the bed.
"Actually, know what would really make me feel better?" Adam asked, knowing he was pushing it a little.
"What?" Makayla asked as Kim wondered what Adam was thinking.
Adam lightly patted the bed, "Why don't you come up here and lay with me?"
Makayla looked over at Kim, almost asking for her permission. Kim was a little hesitant but the two pouty faces looking up at her convinced her to say okay. She walked back over to the side of the bed Makayla was standing on and helped her carefully climb up. Makayla laid on her side, resting her head on his shoulder and throwing an arm over top of him, almost like she was giving him a hug.
Adam winced as her Arm made contact with one of his incision sights, but looked up at Kim mouthing, "She's alright."
Makayla looked extremely happy to be able to cuddle up in the bed with Adam, and Adam looked equally content.
Kim pulled out her phone, snapping a photo of the two before returning it to her back pocket. Makayla was telling Adam all about her days since Adam went into the hospital and Kim just sat back and smiled at the scene in front of her.
All the excitement Makayla was feeling since waking up seemed to have worn her out more than she already was. Right around 11:30 she dozed off.
"My sister was gonna pick her up for lunch. I can call her and see if she can come now?" Kim questioned. "You look tired and she's already sleeping."
"No. Let her stay." Adam answered quietly, once again surprising Kim. "I didn't realize how much I needed this."
"You sure?" Kim questioned.
"Yeah. Tell her she doesn't have to come at all. She's already asleep. No point in waking her up."
"Alrighty, then." Kim said as they fell into an awkward silence.
The silence didn't last long. After about a minute, Adam began talking. "Look, Kim. About yesterday…" He started,
"I'm sorry." Kim blurted out. She figured now was the perfect time to have this much needed conversation. Makayla was sound asleep and having the little girl there would hopefully keep both their tempers in check.
"No. I'm sorry." Adam replied.
"You have nothing to be sorry about, Adam." Kim grabbed his hand. "I should have let you explain. Instead, I only thought about myself and Makayla and not about you and I shouldn't have done that."
Adam's face showed that he agreed with her but he wasn't going to let her take all the blame. "I could have at least eased you into the conversation before just laying it on you. Told you why I wanted it."
"So… why do you want it?" Kim asked, showing genuine concern.
"It's not because I want to be a cop again." He watched the surprise flash across Kim's face. "I mean don't get me wrong, obviously that would be amazing but I've already kind of given up hope on it."
It killed Kim hearing Adam admit he had no hope left of returning to the job he loved.
"It mostly has to do with this little girl right here… and you." Admit admitted.
"Adam. You don't have to do this for us. You know we'll love you know matter what. Why risk losing feeling permanently?" Kim was really trying to stay open minded but was still having a hard time understanding why he was so determined to get the surgery.
Adam explained to Kim everything he said to Trudy. The fear of moving wrong shifting the bullet, the mental effect it was having on him, everything he would no longer be able to do. He laid every single fear out on the line for Kim to hear. By the end of it, they were both in tears.
Kim felt like a total bitch for originally thinking Adam was being completely selfish for wanting the surgery when in reality it was the exact opposite. She also found herself extremely jealous that Makayla was cuddled up next to him instead of her cause all she wanted to do was hug him. Instead, she stood up, settling for a kiss. "So, what happens now? We talk to Will, see when we can get it scheduled?"
"Yeah, about that…" Adam hesitated, hoping the next part didn't set Kim off. "I uh… its scheduled for tomorrow already."
Kim's eyes grew, she wasn't expecting him to have already scheduled it, let alone so soon. "Okayyy…" She nodded. "Tomorrow? Wow. Okay. Tomorrow?" She was trying to rap her head around that.
"The sooner the better." Adam replied quietly.
"I understand why you want it now, and I support you 100% but why rush into it?" She wanted to be able to talk to Will, Dr. Janic, hear the pros and cons for herself to know what to fully expect, to know how to help in the recovery.
"I had to Kim. I…" Adam once again hesitated. "I'm scared. Absolutely terrified. Just thinking about it makes me feel sick. The longer I wait, the more time I have time to think about it and change my mind."
"Is that such a bad thing?" She wasn't trying to change his mind, it was a genuine question.
"Yeah." He responded. "Because not getting it scares me more."
Kim hated this. The whole situation just felt so wrong. This never should have happened. Especially not to Adam. But it is and nothing is going to change that. She just wished she could do something to help, take some of the pain, dear, uncertainty, anything, away. But she was a sitting duck. There was nothing she could do but sit back, watch and hope her love and support would be enough to help get him through this. "Alright then." She squeezed his hand to show her support. "Tomorrow it is."
Adam laid there quietly, rubbing small circles on Makayla's back as she slept. The whole conversation went way better than he expected, but he still had one more question he was afraid to ask. "If uh… If I do end up permanently paralyzed…" He was trying to figure out how to word this without sounding completely ridiculous.
Kim could see the struggle on his face and was trying to figure out where he was going with this.
"Will you still love me?" He knew it was a completely irrational fear but he had to ask.
Kim felt bad that she started to laugh. "Do you really have to ask that? I will love you no matter what. You know that! What kind of painkillers they got you on?" It was the only explanation she could think of for Adam's doubt.
"The good ones apparently." Adam laughed back, wincing as he did so. He did feel much better going into the surgery knowing he wasn't going to lose his ability to walk and his family as a result of his injuries. With that, he gave Kim's hand another squeeze, told her he loved her and joined Makayla in taking a nap.
Kim took the chance to snap another picture of the two napping together, before turning her attention to some of the paperwork she brought. She would occasionally catch herself looking up at the two and smiling. Today was a much-needed good day. She wanted to memorize as much of this day as possible knowing there was a good chance it could be the last one for quite a while depending on the outcome of the surgery.