Of Silk And Lace

cap'n coree

Chapter Nine: Sometimes It Just Feels Better To Give In

(n-n-not for youngins---)

Fuu sat behind her desk trying to make sense of the patterns in the wood. Seconds blurred into minutes, which fed into hours. It was late, and she knew she should get to bed. Even the customers were gone now, and soon dawn would come and pour in through the windows and make it impossiable for her to drift to sleep. She was thinking about Mame, or more specifically Mame's baby. Mame had made a joke earlier that day that the baby was going to be as much Fuu's as hers while eating a pickle and samon sandwhich Fuu had sent Jin to the market to buy.

Fuu was just a tiny bit jealous. She wouldn't come to terms with it, but that was the truth. She rubbed her own belly, knowing she should be thankful that it wasn't swollen like Mame's, but instead she simply felt empty. She wanted that life. A life with husbands and burping babies. Sure, Mame didn't have a husband, but she had some sort of familly coming. Ever since she was a child she was determined to raise her own familly, the familly she should have had when she was young.

That, sadly, was no longer an option for Fuu, and not only due to her proffesion. Mother had been pleased when she was told about Fuu's affliction, because Fuu offered her a perfect ruse. One reason Mother loved Fuu over all her other charges was due to the fact that Fuu kept Mothers shameful secret, an affair, so when Mother started ordering more ingrediants for the contraceptives then needed, there was no suspicion due to the new girls arrival.

Fuu felt her internal clock ticking away, and she was helpless against it. She tried to stifle it by showering Mame with endless affection, but now that just caused her more frustration then ever while she watched her swell up like a balloon. She needed something, anything, to take her mind off of it. Thus she found herself standing outside Jin's room, akwardly searching for any feeble excuse for her to be there.

She slid open the door, staring at the prone form laying on the simple matress that served as his bed. She shuffled her way to the bed and knelt by it, taking a few moments to stare at the messy strands of hair that were usually so well kept. She reached out tentively to brush it off his forehead, daydreaming for a moment of doing that for her own children as they slumbered. Jin's eyes shot open and he seized her wrist, causing Fuu to let out a yelp of suprise.

"Fuu," he sighed, relieved.

"I'm sorry," she apologized, shiffting slightly, trying to think up an excuse for her presence.

"Hn." He sat up, his eyes running over her in the most unnerving manner. Her voice was caught in her throat, she was ready to run, but before she could Jin was gathering her in his arms and pulling her onto the matress with him. He arranged her so she was laying against her, her head resting in the crook of his neck. His hand was gently massaging the back of her neck, running into her hair then back again.

They laid like that for several akward moments before Fuu gathered the courage to speak.

"Jin, did you ever want a familly? Like with Shino?"

Jin clenched his eyes closed and "Hn"'d, trying to fight off the unbidden images of pregnant Shino.

"Shino was pregnant when I came for her."

Fuu wiggled further into him, burying her face into the soft cloth covering his shoulder. "I'm sorry," she said, "Do you ever wish it was yours?" Jin had spent several nights thinking about Shino, and what could have been, but he wasn't sure he should admit this to Fuu, given her emotional tendencies and obvious jealousy over the other woman.

Finally, he decided it was best to tell the truth and nodded slightly, just enough for Fuu to feel.

"I've always wanted a familly," Fuu whispered, "ever since my father left it's been sort of an obsession of mine. I was almost as obsessed with it as I was finding my father. I guess it's pretty ironic that the journey to find him is the reason-" Fuu's voice hitched and she twisted the sheet in her tiny fist, growling softly in frustration. Jin, who was never schooled in the way of women and their emotions, one of the few things he wasn't adept in, didn't know how to take this. Being poliet and distant never seemed to work with Fuu, and the only thing he knew how to do with women was...

But Fuu was already beating him to that, he found, as the hand that had been gripping the sheet now slipped it's way under it and was clutching something else, rubbing furiously as if it were the solution to the problem at hand. Jin nearly cried out in suprise at the sudden, forecful attention, still feeling akward and utterly confused, but soon his body took over and he felt himself grow beneath the hard, long strokes. Fuu let out a whimper, and Jin wasn't sure if it was out of longing, or despair, but she kept rubbing him through his now constricting clothes.

Jin let out his own groan of frustration, but Fuu understood his completely and with a practiced hand unlaced the string keeping his pants on and loosened them enough for her hand to fit, and squeezed him gently. The contact was a shock, it had been a long time since Jin had laid with a women. Many of the whores within the house had come onto him on several occasions, but he just didn't find them stimulating. Not when Fuu, who was suddenly one of the most desirable women he had ever seen, was dangling infront of him, just outside of his reach. Yet here she was, and Jin longed for more. Honor, duty, code, it was all tossed away the moment he had seen her kneeling by his bed, her form illuminated by the thin rays of moonlight slipping into his room like a thief in the night, stealing what dignity he had.

He seized her arm, guiding it's movement, grinding his teeth over his bottom lip in need. His breath was labored now, coming out in soft moans and grunts as he came to the conclusion that Fuu's kimono should be on his floor by now and he should be tasting her, every inch of her. He tried to communicate this desire to her, but he couldn't find his voice, and he knew he was on the verge of release.

Thus he came in Fuu's hand, the primal ooze of his loins staining the still baby-fat fingers and dripping onto his once stainless bed sheets. He gave a slight whimper and his body went limp, his arm curling its way around Fuu's waist once more before he drifted off into a void of nothing but night and the soft smell of sunflowers.

Fuu frowned slightly before using her clean hand to wipe some hair off his sweat caked forehead before planting a light kiss there, and slipping out to her own room.

It wasn't the familly she longed for. It wasn't like burping babies, or cooking for husbands. It wasn't even love, but it was something.

And Fuu slipped off to her own void of nothing, free of guilt, and feeling just a tad less empty then she had before, only minutes before the sun showed is bright face through her window. Without worry, she slept far past noon.

AN: Again, sorry for the lack of updates. School, work. Meh. Worked till 11 last night, so exhausted I skipped school. Then I threw up so there should be no school tomarrow anyhow, so perhaps I'll be able to update quicker once more.

Is anyone else outraged that adult swim canceled Champloo? Ehhh it's so hard to get inspired without seeing it once a week.