Of Silk And Lace

cap'n coree

Chapter Ten: Dreams Are For Those Who Sleep

A.N. Dear 'Nasty'; Actually, no, I don't think my mom would be too dissapointed in me at all, she's quite open and encourages me to act out my creativity. You, sir or madame, have horriable grammer and puncuation. I bet your mom is dissapointed. Besides, what are you doing reading an M rated fanfiction if you don't expect a little smut? Anyhow, I said not for youngins.

To the other reviewers: Thank you, I heart you.

--

She came every night afterwards. Always in the middle of the night, always clothed. Never once were her clothes removed, never an inch of skin exposed, and Jin was too afraid to ask for anything more then her gentle hands working him over. Even a kiss seemed out of the question. He was afraid it'd be dishonorable. He was afraid it would scare her away. He was afraid she might not feel the same way as he did.

He was afraid he might need her to.

During the night, after she had pet him till he was exhausted and nearly dozed off, she'd slip out. He was too afraid to ask her to stay. He wanted more, but couldn't find it in him to ask. He had taken too much from her already.

She avoided him during the days, which was unsettling. He wanted to talk to her about what they were, what it meant, but everytime he did see her she was with Mame. During her nocturnal visits he was too afraid to bring it up.

This was the current problem Jin ran over through his head as he swept the second floor. He had a good view of the court yard out back, where he occasionally glanced to watch Fuu and Mame as they took lunch with one another. Fuu would ocassionally wipe Mame's mouth for her, or lightly touch her on the shoulder. Once she had her ear pressed against Mame's stomach. Such touching seemed forbidden to Jin, and as he watched he felt himself grow jealous of the young girl.

He knew it was shameful, to feel such hostile things for someone in her position, but during the day Mame commanded all of Fuu's attention, and once more, Fuu showered her with affection. Jin only had a few spare minutes during the cover of darkness, where it seemed more like Fuu was trying to exorcise something out of her system, rather than share a romantic tryst with someone she cared for.

He gripped the broom in his hand and scowled as he brushed away a clutter of dust clinging to the corner of the hall. What did he have to do to get that sort of attention? Get pregnant himself? He sighed, resolved to take the hand fate had delt him, maybe in time things would change.

After all, the baby was due soon.

-------------------------------------------

"Fuu." Jin whispered into the dark room, sliding open the door. She hadn't shown up that night, and Jin was anxious. Had he already lost his chance anyhow?

He shuffled his way over to her mat on the floor, kneeling slightly to watch her as she slept. Perhaps she was sick? Overworked? She couldn't have tossed him away so fast. He laid a hand on her shoulder and she stirred slightly.

"Fuu?" There was no waking her up from what Jin could tell. Suddenly it didn't seem enough to just be some sort of tool at her disposal. He wanted to lay in bed next to someone, to feel someones warmth. It was something he hadn't longed for since Shino, and had never longed for before then. With the girls in the brothel he occasionally visited it was all about getting the lust out of his system that occasionally plauged him on lonelier nights, but now he found himself wanting tender affection, and some sort of romance. That he longed for such things from Fuu frightened him at first. After all she had been like a little sister to him, a helpless little sister. To think he could have had her all that time when she was naive and willing to give it, and here he was wanting it now, when she was so reluctant to do so. The irony was not lost on him.

She looked so happy in her sleep, like she use to all the time. Jin swallowed all fear and honor he had left and slipped beneath the matress with her, caring little about the repercussions that would follow.

The warmth of her body consumed him, and lulled him into sleep.

--------------------