A/N: This one turned out a bit angsty, sorry. Dunno what happened here. Next will be different.
The baby had gurgled in pleasure at the attention he was getting. He was stretching out his pudgy little hands, trying to grab a hold of Sakura's fingers as she scanned him for infection. The palest blue eyes she had ever seen stared back at her curiously as she finished and affectionately mussed the shock of blond hair sprouting awkwardly from the top of his head. Hinata hovered expectantly a few feet away.
"He's perfectly fine. Kids get warm all the time." She reassured Hinata, who sighed a breath of relief. The baby giggled.
"I told you." Naruto chimed in from the adjoining room, already halfway into his breakfast.
"Thank you for coming by anyway. I wanted to be sure." Hinata's large white eyes were wide, oozing appreciation.
Sakura smiled at the girl. "It's no problem. I'm always here if you need anything."
"Muffins?" A disconnected voice called from the other room.
Hinata smiled and explained, a little embarrassed, as she picked up the child to take him back to his bed. "I made the ones with the blueberries for you."
Sakura wandered through their enourmous living room into the kitchen, plopping down at a large oak table. She snatched the already-bitten muffin Naruto was bringing to his mouth and took a large bite.
Naruto shrugged and poured her a cup of tea from a kettle on the table.
"I've been thinking about what we were talking about yesterday." He said casually.
Sakura paused in her chewing for a second, looking at him warily.
"You shouldn't do too much of that, Naruto." She cautioned, swallowing the food in her mouth a little uneasily.
Really, it was too early in the morning for this conversation.
"I think I'm gonna talk to him." He said, taking a sip from his cup.
"As long as I don't hear about any more on this, I really don't care." Sakura said coldly, in a voice she rarely used with him anymore.
"I just want you both to be happy." Naruto looked up at her with pleading eyes, his tone taking on a passionate note.
"We are. Let it go." She told him with finality, knowing he probably wouldn't listen though.
Really, she loved Naruto. He was her closest comrade, her best friend, her brother. She just wished he didn't try to be her doctor as well.
Once, Sakura had decided that Sasuke was like an ugly scar on her heart, thinking the metaphor very apt. Long ago he had been a huge, gaping, bleeding hole. But once Sakura had stopped picking at the scabs, stopped the morbid curiosity that drew her to what used to be there underneath, the wound had healed. It left an unseemly but painlessly numb mark, one that would fade with enough time.
It was Naruto that was convinced there was dirt in the wound and kept trying to tear it open in a misguided attempt to heal her.
She wished she could explain it to him, she did, but Sakura didn't think he would understand.
When they were all children, she had been attracted to Sasuke because of that certain heat that only he had seemed to possess. Sure, he had a shell of frigid, sharp ice that stung bitterly to the touch, but you wanted what was inside. Inside he had pockets of extreme heat and intensity that all girls were unconsciously drawn to, like moths to flame.
When they were young Sakura thought she could crack him open, but all she had ever gotten for her efforts was cold.
But now, it was as if Sasuke had melted. He wasn't cold, he wasn't hot. He was tepid. Naruto still didn't understand why it hadn't worked out between her them, and Sakura was tired of explaining.
"Really, don't worry about us so much." Sakura told him as she grabbed a few muffins, rolled them in a napkin and stuffed them in her bag. "And tell Hinata I said thanks."
"We'll see." Was his noncommital response, but Sakura could already see a spark in his clear, blue eyes. She wished she could have the regular Naruto back, the one that was loud and warm and always smiling.
Sakura left the Hyuuga complex, munching on another muffin she had snagged before leaving. Really, Hinata spoiled her.
As she rounded a corner on her way to the hospital she almost ran into a large male chest. She caught herself at the last moment, hands going up to stop herself from smacking into the solid wall automatically. The muffin was a casualty.
"Oh! I'm sorry..." She started to apologize, but her voice trailed off when she looked up to the pure black eyes of one Uchiha Sasuke. Her stomach tightened.
His hands had gone up to catch her, and they were still there as he stood looking down at her inquisitively. Sakura's were on his chest, their bodies not quite touching but close enough to transfer body heat. She stepped out of the half embrace quickly and his arms dropped from her to cross over his chest.
"Sasuke, good morning." She said politely, smiling a friendly, perfunctory smile.
Something close to a smile turned the corners of his own lips, but Sakura didn't ascribe much meaning to it.
"Sakura." He acknowledged, voice bland. His eyes darted to right below the side of her neck, fixing on the area right above the edge of her turtleneck.
"You can get rid of those with jutsu, can't you?" Sasuke asked pleasantly.
"I can, yes." She answered, struggling to keep her voice light and as nonchalant as his.
It took all of Sakura's will power not to raise her hand to hide the incriminating marks. Inside she bristled, annoyed both at herself for not getting rid of the tell-tale discolorations on her skin and at Sasuke for noticing them. She had left them there in a pique of perverse pride that morning, choosing instead to don a high collared shirt. She regretted that now.
Sasuke's smile turned knowing, yet somehow empty of emotion. Sakura didn't return it.
"I'll see you around." She said as she stepped around him.
As she walked away, Sakura imagined that she could feel his eyes on her back, but she didn't know if he was really watching her or not. Her fingers itched, but she refused to react like a child being caught misbehaving.
In another few seconds she had rounded another corner, quickly slapping her hand to her neck now that she was out of his sight. It glowed blue for a few seconds, healing, concealing.
She didn't really want anyone to see them, after all.
Sakura had known that the boy Naruto had dragged back to Konoha wasn't the same Sasuke her young heart had fallen for. But if she squeezed her eyes tight enough and tried hard enough to remember how things were before, she was able to see what she wanted to. And things were good then, for a while.
After the dealings with ANBU and the treason charges and the loyalty issue had been resolved, Naruto and Sakura had tried desperately to recreate what Team 7 had shared. And it had worked. They were training together, eating together, everything. Even Kakashi would stop by, for old time's sake, he said.
Then one day Sakura had finally gathered enough courage and dared to suggest they get dinner, just the two of them, and Sasuke had shrugged and said, "sure".
Sakura had felt like it was Christmas and Valentine's and her birthday all at once. She had floated on air for days, stumbling around in a daze of rose-tinted happiness. She was almost 18 when they had started "dating" and she thought it had been the greatest present ever.
As she had opened her eyes to Sasuke, the real Sasuke, not the image she had had imprinted on her eyelids for all those years, Sakura thought she finally knew what it was really like to be in love. All that time had been worth it. All the pain, all the heartache, all vindicated. Everything had been justified. They would be happy now.
Sasuke had smiled and let her hold his hand, paid for dinner and let her kiss him on the cheek.
Ino sincerely wished her luck. Naruto beamed at them with happiness. He smiled at Sakura like a co-conspirator when it was all three of them at dinner and she sat close enough to Sasuke to touch him.
Sasuke didn't seem to mind either of them.
He was no longer the lonely iceberg from their childhood.
And he never pushed her, never pressured her for anything. She had thought him thoughtful, letting her go at her own pace when it came to intimacy between them. He kissed her back when she kissed him, touched her as she touched him. He never asked for anything she wasn't offering. Sakura knew it was love then.
What happens when you squeeze your eyes shut hard for a long time and then open them up again, the light blinds you. All you see is stars. But as you blink away the haze, your vision clears.
They were on her couch one night, lights dimmed down low. The television was on mute, long forgotten. She was curled into his side, her body plastered to his, hands moving restless in his hair. She was kissing him for all she was worth.
He sat with his arms around her, head tilted to the side, eyes closed. His tongue caressed hers gently, firmly. Lips moved in sync with hers. She wasn't sure why, but things just felt desperate that night, urgent.
This is it. Tonight, a voice had been repeating in her head for most of the day. She was wearing her fanciest underwear, her most expensive perfume.
Sakura had pressed into him brazenly in silent permission and invitation, her hands roaming over his perfect body. His caressed back and shoulders lightly in pale imitation. She was desperate, driven, her body burning, but despite his body's physical arousal, he was starkly calm in the face of her passion.
She didn't notice it at first, putting it down to him being kind and tender. It was her own hands that lifted her shirt over her head, that brought his hands to her chest as she straddled him. He was just nervous, she rationalized.
But something wasn't right, and the warmth that had curled in the pit of her stomach was slowly being displaced by something much less pleasant. Gradually she stilled, slowly letting go of his hands. She took a deep breath before shifting off of him, breaking contact and drawing away.
"I'm sorry... Sasuke, I... I don't think I... can... tonight." She whispered between shaky breaths, mouth suddenly very dry.
She wasn't sure what she was expecting to find when she looked up at him from beneath her lashes, but she was expecting something. She had been painfully disappointed.
"Okay. Good night, Sakura." He said, voice steady and smooth. He kissed her on the cheek, adjusted his own clothing as he stood up, and left. The click of the lock was deafening in the suddenly oppressive silence of her apartment.
She was still awake, shivering under the heavy covers of her bed as the sun came up.
Where did I go wrong? Echoed in her head.
It took her a few days to really piece it all together.
The next day at lunch, Sasuke smiled at her in greeting when she joined him at their table. Sakura had smiled back, telling herself it was all alright now, and she had just overreacted.
But it made her just a little more cautious around him, hesitating to touch him lest she push too hard. It was then she started to notice that he didn't compensate for her retreat.
If they walked next to each other, he didn't take her hand. If they were at dinner, his leg didn't find hers under the table. And it hurt, so much. She was afraid the cold, distant Sasuke had somehow come back from the dead, and the idea scared her.
She tested him one day. He had met her after her shift one day, walking with her to meet Naruto and Hinata for dinner. Their hands brushed accidently, and she took the chance to lace her fingers with his. His had gripped back, and he didn't pull it away. He didn't say anything when she rested her hand on his thigh at dinner. He kissed her back when she kissed him goodnight.
Understanding dawned slowly, bringing with it crippling defeat . This wasn't cold, distant Sasuke. This was indifferent Sasuke. It wasn't that he didn't want her. He just... didn't care much either way.
And suddenly her victory was hollow, her prize empty.
She tried to tell herself that this was at least something that love grow out of, but the thought left her bitter. She could ignore him for weeks at great emotional cost to herself, but he never came around.
Naruto didn't understand her red, swollen eyes or defeated voice.
And one night, after a particularly painful double date, Sakura excused herself early. She kissed Sasuke softly on the cheek and fled into the safety of the night. It was the motions she still put herself through, the pretend normalcy, that stung more than anything.
The night had been cool and she had been under-dressed. Her arms wrapped around herself tightly, she had wandered the streets a bit, not ready to go home to her empty apartment. She hadn't expected to run into Kakashi that night, but she did.
They were a few blocks away from her apartment, just around the corner from the bar, her unknowingly walking towards it, him away. The street was silent, deserted at that late hour.
Kakashi had paused when he saw her, taking in her wet, unseeing eyes and broken posture. She had kept walking, almost passing him by, but he reached out and stopped her gently by a hand on her shoulder.
"What's wrong?" He said softly, and Sakura couldn't help but feel some of her bitterness rise. She chocked back a sob, shaking her head and looked away.
For old time's sake, he had told them. He had been checking up on Sasuke. He must have known Sasuke had changed.
Impotent, turbulent emotions she had been swallowing for weeks suddenly surfaced, looking for an outlet.
Sakura had grabbed him then, hands fisting in his vest as she pulled him roughly against her. His eye widened in shock, but she didn't pay much attention after she yanked his mask down and pressed her lips harshly against his.
Kakashi pulled away instantly, hands gripping her shoulders firmly, mask bunched at his chin.
"What the hell happened?" He asked again, his alarm superceding his shock.
Sakura bit her lip, forcing her eyes to meet his lone. Tears where flowing freely down her cheeks now, spikey eyelashes framed huge, glistening pools of hurt. It made her look that much younger, smaller. That much more vulnerable.
She reached for him again, pulling his head down to hers hesitantly. He didn't stop her this time, giving in to her silent request for comfort. He wrapped his arms around her slender form and held her against him. That had been all the encouragement she had needed.
He tried to keep the kiss gentle and chaste, but she didn't want that. The hands at his neck pulled him tightly, keeping his head in place as she tried to crawl her way into his mouth. Her tongue moved hungrily, boldly against his, teeth pulling at his lip. Sakura's lithe body rubbed against his chest and stomach, hips pressed into his groin.
Kakashi jerked away suddenly, as if he had been scalded, but her hands didn't let him get far, gripping his vest like a life-line. He needed to put a stop to this before it went any further, right there in the middle of the street.
"Sakura, stop." He commanded gruffly, but her mouth was back on his, hot, hungry, insistent. But above all, desperate.
"Please..." She pleaded breathlessly, hands clawing frantically at his hair, neck, back.
He knew what she was asking for and why, and he understood. He followed her to her apartment wordlessly, his hand clasped tightly by hers.
Tell me what you think.