The bit about the chocolate cake is based on fact. My mum told me that when she was pregnant with me (and my older brother and sister), her biggest craving was chocolate cake and no matter what time of day it was, if she got the craving for chocolate cake, she would make one from scratch and not even wait until it had cooled down before eating it. This fact tickled me and as, for the first draft, I had put in chocolate as Harry's craving, I thought I'd make it a wee bit more interesting.

Chapter 4

One night, Remus was lying in bed trying not to listen to Harry's muffled crying. He touched the wall that separated their rooms, trying to resist the temptation to go to the young man and cuddle him. It had been over two months since Harry had turned up on Remus' doorstep and although he had kept quiet about his feelings for Harry, he was happy that the young man was living with him. However, it broke his heart to watch Harry go through this trying emotional period.

The baby itself was not the problem. Harry made regular trips to St Mungo's Hospital; because male pregnancies were rare and differed medically from female pregnancies, Harry needed specialist treatment that could only be provided by the Healers at St Mungo's. Each trip to the hospital was a success and the pregnancy itself was going smoothly.

Harry's rocky patches came more from the hormonal mood swings he was receiving from his pregnancy, as well as the ongoing trauma from Draco's betrayal. As promised, he had returned to work; despite the occasional glare, raised eyebrow or comment from a colleague, he delved into his work, and in time, the glares stopped.

Some days Harry was able to get through the day normally, and occasionally he laughed and smiled. On these days, Remus saw that despite all the effects of his final battle with Voldemort, Harry had still retained some of his child-like persona. When Harry was in a good mood, Remus would encourage this behaviour and this, in turn, made the two men even more child-like.

One incident stuck out in Remus' mind. One afternoon Harry had had another one of his cravings. During his pregnancy, he had developed a craving for chocolate. Even Remus had never eaten so much chocolate in such a short period of time. While Remus had a cup of tea in the kitchen, he watched as Harry got out some equipment and ingredients and began to make his all-time biggest craving: chocolate cake. Harry would make an entire chocolate cake and then eat it all by himself. He would not let Remus help him make it; he became possessive over chocolate cake. Many times, he wouldn't even wait until the cake had cooled down before beginning to eat it.

As Remus was sipping his cup of tea, he suddenly felt something cold land on his cheek. He put his finger on the wet patch and realised it was chocolate. He looked at Harry, who was now gazing at the werewolf whilst trying hard not to giggle. With a smirk on his face, Remus walked up to the mixing bowl. He put a handful of the cake mixture in his hand and gently slapped it on Harry's cheek.

And that was how the play fight started. Chocolate mixture flew everywhere, splattering the walls and the kitchen furniture. Soon there was no mixture left in the bowl and all Remus and Harry could do was laugh. Although the kitchen was messy, it was nowhere near as messy as the two men.

As Harry laughed, he said "I don't think I want the cake now."

Although it was not funny, this comment made Remus guffaw even more and the two had to hold onto each other to stop themselves falling on the floor…

However, not many days had moments as fun or happy as the chocolate cake incident. Many days were very dark and sad for Harry. He would either spend all his spare time in his room, or sit in one of Remus's chairs all night staring into space and rubbing his bare wedding finger. Remus would try to make Harry smile or make him forget about his sadness, but eventually the werewolf realised that no amount of coaxing would make him feel better, so he left the young man alone when he was not in a good mood. Remus hoped one day that Harry would be able to confide in him more when he was feeling this way, but he did not push the subject because he felt it would make the situation worse.

On this particular night, the sobbing eventually subsided; but the silence only worried Remus more. He closed his eyes and tried to sleep but he could only think of Harry lying miserably in the next room. His eyes slowly became heavy and he was succumbing to sleep when he heard a gentle knock on the door.

He mumbled, "Come in."

The door opened Harry walked shyly into the room. Remus sat up in bed. "Harry, what's wrong?"

Harry said quietly, "I don't want to be on my own tonight."

"Then you don't have to be." Remus smiled and beckoned to Harry, "Come here."

The young man timidly moved over to Remus and slipped under the covers. He wrapped himself around the werewolf and the two cuddled. In the dark, Remus reached under the covers and touched Harry's growing belly, and Harry placed his hand over the werewolf's. In that moment, Remus was feeling something he had not felt in a long time; not since Sirius was alive, anyway. He secretly smiled at the thought of the young man resting in his arms and finally beginning to open up to him. Unbeknown to the werewolf, Harry was secretly smiling too, for he had never felt so safe or content in his life.

Harry awoke up with a start. He wriggled a little and then he stopped dead: he could not feel Remus holding him. He turned around and saw that the other side of the bed was bare.

Where the bloody hell has he got to? It's not a full moon and we were definitely in bed together before I fell asleep.

He knew he should not be worried about the situation, but he was. Over the past few months, Harry had come to Remus's bed at night and the werewolf always welcomed him. Even when the moon was full, Harry would still sleep in Remus's bed and the wolf would curl up beside him. They only held each other, but to Harry, whenever he was in Remus's arms, in his bed, it felt right; just as right as it had felt on that night eight months earlier. Several times he had wanted to kiss him and be intimate with him again, but every time he felt the urge he found he could not bring himself to do it.

Harry, you know Remus is only being this nice to you because of the possibility that the baby could be his. He doesn't want to get that intimate with you again.

Still, ever since that first night when Harry had come to Remus's bed, his dark and sad moods had been slowly disappearing. Before, Harry would have had a rare day when he felt normal or happy; now it was the sad days that were rare. He had not wallowed in self-pity or gone off into his own sad daydream world for at least a month.

He groggily walked out of the room and down the stairs, making his way to the living room. It was there that he saw Remus sitting by the fireplace. Harry noticed that the werewolf was crying whilst looking at a silver-framed picture and yet he did not move from his spot. Eventually, Remus wiped his eyes with his hand, stood up and put the photo in its place amongst the other pictures. He turned, and that was when he saw Harry.

"Oh, I didn't see you there. Why are you up so late?"

Because I miss cuddling you in bed. Because I miss your warm, welcoming arms. Because you make me feel good. I've not felt this good since Draco and I were first married.

"I was going to ask you the same question."

Remus replied, "I just couldn't sleep, that's all."

"Neither could I." Harry felt a kick in the belly. "And I guess the baby can't sleep either." He moved towards the werewolf and sat down on the couch. He unbuttoned the top of his baggy pyjamas and pulled down his bottoms over his bulging belly: "Do you want to feel it kicking?"

Remus sat down, smiled and placed his hand on Harry's belly. He massaged the skin gently with his palm until he felt a sharp kick to his hand. He giggled softly and held his palm to his Harry's belly, waiting for a second kick. It came and Remus smiled wider.

Harry said, "I've not seen you smile like that in a long time."

Still massaging Harry's belly, Remus said, "Well, I guess it's just hit me that there's an actual life in here."

Harry laughed. "Well, I didn't get this big just through eating all that chocolate."

"Still got all the cravings then?"

"Yeah, and I blame you!" Harry teased, "This kid is going to be a chocoholic, just like you!"

Remus laughed back, "I think we can definitely say that the child is mine!" He stopped laughing when he realised what he had just said. He removed his hand and slid backwards. "I'm sorry, Harry. I shouldn't have said that."

Harry placed his hand where Remus's hand had been a moment before. "It's all right, mate. I know you didn't mean any harm by it."

"How are you coping, anyway?"

"I'm doing fine. I don't think I could have managed this far if it wasn't for you. I know that when it first started and I moved in with Ron and Hermione, they said they would be there for me, but they're married. They've got their own lives to lead. I'm just glad you were here as well."

Remus became shy. "Thank you. Do you still think about…him?"

"Sometimes, but I don't miss him. If he came here right now and begged me to take him back, I wouldn't. I even saw him in the street the other day. He never saw me but I saw him all right. I've seen him a few times, just walking past him, you know, and the other day was the first time I saw him and felt nothing. Before, I had the urge to burst into tears, but this time I felt nothing for him."

"Well, I wish I could say the same for him."

Harry's eyes narrowed in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"Well, you know Vincent Clearwater who works in the sports section of the Ministry?" Harry nodded. "Well, earlier on today I went for an early lunch, as you know, and I overheard Vincent talking on the other table. He mentioned that he was in the pub with Draco the other night. And Draco was apparently drunk out of his mind and, well, he was spluttering that his lover had left him and that he was pining for you."

Harry shrugged. "I don't care. I don't want him back. Even if I still felt something for him, I wouldn't have been able to trust him again. I mean, what hurts…what really hurts is that he accused me of cheating on him and all the while he had been cheating on me for several months." Harry's eyes filled with tears. "I mean how could he possibly do that to me, beat me, accuse me of being a cheat and then go off to his own lover? Also, how could he do all that and still love me? You was right, Remus, you know, on that day. You said he was going to hurt me again. I just didn't realise it would hurt so much." He sobbed into his hands.

Remus felt his heart break at the sight of his beloved in tears. He moved over to Harry again and held Harry's head in his hands.

As he cradled the young man, Remus whispered, "Oh baby, don't." Please don't sink back into that dark sad place again. "I'm sorry for what I said that night. I guess I just didn't want to see you go back and end up being miserable."

"But you wereright. He did hurt me!"

"Let's just say I know how it feels."

Harry looked up and asked, "What do you mean?"

Remus did not answer or even look at Harry. He did not even know that he was still cradling him in his arms.

He looked up and saw Sirius holding him like a child. Sirius caressed the werewolf's cheek, which showed a recently bruised patch, and Remus winced as Sirius gently touched the sore spot. Remus could see tears falling down the animagus's face and he could smell the aroma of alcohol on Sirius's breath as he begged for Remus's forgiveness, then added all the empty promises that he would stop drinking.

"Remus?"

At the sound of his name, the werewolf suddenly found himself in his living room. He looked down and saw Harry looking at him with wet green eyes and a concerned face. Remus smiled as he gazed into Harry's heart-warming green eyes.

"I was also right on something else," Remus whispered.

"What's that?"

Remus stroked Harry's messy black hair. "That he doesn't deserve you."

Don't, Remus! We've been here before, remember? And look what happened. Just don't make the same mistake again; he's fragile enough as he is. Don't fuck his brain up any more.

However, before the werewolf could move away, he felt Harry take hold of his face and pull him in for a kiss. It was unexpected, but not unwanted. After the initial shock, Remus took the young man's kiss willingly and pulled Harry as close as possible. It was as soft and as gentle as their first kiss all those months ago and the werewolf found himself melting against the young man, wanting more…

Suddenly, Harry pulled away from Remus and placed both hands on his belly. "Baby's kicking again." He chuckled nervously. "And I've got another craving again."

Trying to cover his guilt, Remus smiled and said, "Want to make another chocolate cake?"

Harry licked his lips at the thought. "Sounds lovely. Fancy helping me to make some? I might share a bit."

"Okay," Remus replied, "but don't you dare start throwing it at me again."

As Harry chuckled at the memory, Remus stood up and held out his hand to the gravid Harry. As the two made their way to the kitchen, Harry was grateful that he was in front; he wondered what the werewolf would think he could see the small and secret smile imprinted on Harry's face.

To be continued...