Chapter 5
Harry smiled as he watched his baby son play with a plastic ring of keys. As the baby giggled and gurgled, Harry held a piece of parchment tightly against his chest and thought that he had never felt so content in his life. It had been three months since he had given birth, and screamed and cursed the werewolf for putting him through the hellish pain.
However, the screaming and the cursing had instantly become meaningless when the nurse brought the freshly-cleaned baby to Remus and Harry. The baby's eyes were blue, like all newborn babies'; but they both noticed that there was a reasonable amount of hair on the baby's head and it was definitely brown. Moreover, it was the same shade of brown as Remus's hair.
Harry had looked up at the werewolf and smiled. Remus had wrapped his arm around Harry, holding him close, and then he kissed his hair. It didn't take them long to decide on the baby's name: Ben Connor. Harry had chosen his son's first name and Remus had chosen Connor, jokingly stating that it was Irish for "wolf-lover."
However, there was still doubt in the air and both Harry and Remus decided a paternity test should be taken. The results had taken a week to arrive and both Harry and Remus had anxiously awaited the letter. Harry had no idea why he thought this, but over the last few months of his pregnancy he had developed a nagging feeling that the father could have been Draco. He hated the idea of what Draco would do if he had found out that Harry had given birth to his son.
The results were now pressed against Harry's chest and, although it was wrong, he could not have been happier with the results. He had received them that morning, and since then he had had to look at the parchment again and again just to make sure that it was not a dream. He pulled it away from his chest and looked at the writing before him for what seemed to be the millionth time. Once again, he saw the name "Remus Lupin" printed on the parchment; the writing was clear as crystal. For the millionth time that day, he relived the feeling of a burden lifting from his shoulders; for the first time since Draco had thrown him out of their house, Harry felt that he could finally move on from his ex-husband and maybe work up the confidence to tell Remus of his growing feelings for the werewolf.
Although Harry had tried to avoid the issue, he did miss the werewolf's company at night. However, he felt that given the baby's irregular sleeping patterns, sharing Harry's bed might disrupt Remus's sleep as well, and that might affect his work. Harry had decided he could not go back to work immediately after paternity leave; he could not bear to leave his baby with someone else while he was working. Therefore, he was sleeping in his old room along with Ben, who slept in a cot. He secretly longed for the day when Ben was able to sleep through a whole night by himself; only then could he trust himself to leave Ben on his own at night and curl up with the werewolf once again.
Harry looked at the clock and saw that it was nearly six o' clock. "Your daddy will be home soon."
Ben replied with a gurgle and a grin that was wide and toothless.
Harry smiled wider. "Yes, he will. Yes, he will." He placed the parchment on the floor and moved over to Ben. He picked up his baby and stood up, holding him against his chest. He rubbed two fingers through Ben's brown tuft of hair and said, "He is going to be very happy to see you, and he is going to be so happy with these results because he loves you very much. Yes, he does."
And I am in love with your daddy.
A knock on the door interrupted the private and happy moment. "Oh, that's probably your Auntie Hermione and Uncle Ron coming to see you." He strapped Ben into his baby seat in the middle of the living room floor, then went to the door. All the happiness instantly drained out of him when he saw Draco.
With a smile on his face, Draco said, "I just knew you would be here."
"What do you want?"
"I just came here for a talk."
"Give me one good reason why I should let you into my house."
"Because I have to talk to you and I would rather do it in private."
Harry stepped aside. "Very well, but don't expect a cup of tea."
Draco made his way into the living room, where Ben was still in his baby seat, waving and shaking his ring of plastic keys. The blonde man sat down on the couch. Harry stayed standing.
After a few moments of silence Draco said, "How are you?"
"Do you really care?"
"Of course I do. I miss you," Draco insisted.
"And yet it's taken you all this time to come and tell me that?"
"Well, considering that I didn't know where you lived…"
Harry laughed sarcastically. "As if you cared! If my memory serves me correctly, you threw me out on the streets." He then shouted, "I don't think you gave a shit where I ended up as long as I was far away from you and your lover!"
Ben started to cry from the shouting. Harry turned to his son and picked him up from his seat. He held onto the baby and whispered, "It's alright, Ben. Daddy isn't angry at you."
"Daddy?" Draco asked. "That baby is yours?"
"Brilliant deduction, Draco."
Draco stood up. "Does that mean that you were pregnant on that day?"
Looking at his son, Harry said "I found out that day. I was going to tell you but you'd already made arrangements, hadn't you?"
Draco reached out his hand to touch the baby's head. "Does that mean that…the baby is mine?"
Ignoring the question, Harry placed his now-quiet son back in his seat. He had a feeling that things were not going to go well, and he didn't want to be holding his son when Draco finally figured out the truth. The moment came more quickly than Harry had anticipated. Draco knelt down to pick up the child and he said, "My beautiful son…"
Defensively, Harry cried, "Don't you touch him!"
Draco looked up at his ex-husband. "I have a right to. He's mine!"
"Look! What did you come here for?"
Draco stood up. "I just thought we could get back together…"
"You what! After what you did to me?"
Draco's voice became almost pleading. "I made a mistake, Harry. I'm really sorry. We can make it work; we're still married…"
Harry held up the finger that had once borne his wedding ring. "Last time I checked, somebody threw off my ring and threw it into a fire."
Draco took hold of Harry's raised hand. "I'll buy you another one. I'll buy you the exact same one…we can even renew our vows. I mean, we have a child! We should try again for him!"
"He's not your child!"
Draco blinked in shock. "What?"
"Look at him! He looks nothing like you, thankfully!"
"But that baby must be about three or four months old. It has to be mine…unless…." He turned to Harry with an all-too familiar evil glint in his eyes. Pointed an accusing finger at Harry, he said, "You cheated on me, didn't you?" He took a few steps towards his husband. "Didn't you!"
Before Harry could answer, Draco slapped him on the cheek. Then there was another blow to his face and he toppled to the floor next to his son who had started to cry again. Before he could reach for Ben, he felt a kick to his stomach and landed on his back. Many punches and kicks followed. Harry tried to fight back but Draco was too fierce and too strong. Draco's hands wrapped around Harry's neck and the black-haired young man could feel the air being squeezed out of him. Harry could feel his head being hit on the floor repeatedly; the baby's desperate screams began to fade out and the world became black…
Remus had only one thing on his mind while he was making his way home from work. He had tried not to think about it all day but the question had been burning in his mind for a while.
Am I really a father?
He cast his mind back to the night that Ben was born and wondered why Harry had only cursed him, Remus, when both of them knew that there was an equal chance that Draco could be the father.
Maybe, deep down, Harry wants ME to be the father.
He wanted Ben to be his son but he knew that there was a big chance that the father could be Draco. Over the past year, Remus had become comfortable with Harry living with him. He sometimes questioned why he felt so comfortable. Ever since Sirius' death eight years earlier, he had made a vow to remain alone. He had invited Harry to his home merely out of friendship, and had never thought that he would enjoy being in the young man's company so quickly.
He realised this only when Ben was born and Harry moved back to his old room, along with Ben, who slept in a cot. As Harry was on paternity leave and Remus was still working, the young man had told Remus that it would be unfair for him, too, to be woken up several times a night. Although the werewolf accepted this, he did so reluctantly.
The first night that Harry moved rooms was a sleepless one for Remus. He wanted nothing more than to be in the same bed as the young man, but Harry had been insistent and said that it was the right thing to do. He missed holding Harry as he slept, comforting him; for the first time since Harry had moved in, Remus began to fear that the young man would become less dependent on him and ultimately leave.
This fear had intensified in the week since he had taken the paternity test. Remus loved Ben and he hated to think of what could happen if it turned out that Draco was the father. Although Harry said that he no longer wanted to be with his husband, Remus was worried that this could change if it turned out that Draco was the father. The werewolf dreaded the thought of losing both Ben and Harry.
Admit it. You are in love with Harry.
No! I just care about him and don't want to see him hurt any more.
Yeah, right! You're in love with him and you don't want to admit it! You don't want to lose him, do you?
Remus was so deep in thought that he walked straight past his house. As he walked sheepishly back up to the front door, he heard Ben's agonising screams. He ran up the path and flung the door open frantically. He ran towards the screams and saw Draco choking the life out of Harry.
Draco screamed, "I'll teach you to fucking cheat on me!"
Remus quickly pulled out his wand and aimed it at the blonde. "Expelliarmus!"
Draco flew across the room. Harry felt air enter his body; his head was pounding like a drum. As his vision returned, he saw Remus in the doorway with his wand at the ready. Remus was staring at Draco with a look that Harry had only seen once in the werewolf's face before, ten years ago in the Shrieking Shack. Although he was sore all over and almost overcome by dizziness, Harry picked up his distressed son from the baby seat. As his son cried and clenched onto his jumper, Harry held him as only an equally distressed parent would.
Remus looked at Harry with concern. "Are you all right?"
Harry nodded, stood up and walked over to Remus, who stared at Harry's ex-husband and said, "What the fuck are you doing here? Come to stir up the shit?"
Draco stood up. "Not that it's any of your business, but I came around to patch things up with Harry. I just didn't realise that I would come here to find out my oh-so honest husband cheated on me and brought a bastard child into the world!"
Harry snapped, "Don't you dare call our baby that again!"
Draco and Remus simultaneously said, "Our!"
Draco looked on the floor and saw the discarded parchment. He picked it up and his jaw immediately dropped in shock. He looked up at Remus and Harry and his shocked expression changed to a mixture of disgust and anger. "Oh, so this is the one you've been spreading your legs for? Tell me, Lupin! Was he a good little whore?"
Through his teeth, Remus said "Shut your filthy mouth!"
Draco scoffed, "I wouldn't be surprised if you two had been doing it behind my back since the wedding."
"SHUT UP!" Harry shouted, and the angry outburst antagonised his son even more. Harry turned to Remus and said "Hold our baby, please, and go into the kitchen." Pocketing his wand, Remus took the crying child in his arms and began to soothe him whilst exiting the room.
Harry moved towards Draco until they were almost eye-to-eye. "Now, you listen here. Before that night, I had never done it behind your back and that was because I loved you. The only reason I went to him was because of our arguments. But I've never slept with him since then; it never even crossed my mind. I only cheated on you once and it was all your fault!"
"MY fault? How could it have been my fault that you went behind my back?"
"Because that morning I had taken a potion to help me become pregnant, and that night I came home ready to get intimate with you and what did I get? Accusations and a beating for my trouble, while all the fucking time, you'd been going behind MY back! If you hadn't been such a bastard that night, I would never have gone to Remus for comfort. And I'll tell you something, Draco: he satisfied me more in one night than you ever did in our entire marriage!"
Folding his arms, Harry continued, "And while we're on the subject, Draco, where is your lover? Where's the reason that you tore my wedding ring off and threw it on the fire? You don't really want me, do you? You're just incredibly lonely and you came to me as a last resort."
Draco insisted, "No. I came here because I know that I made a huge mistake and I want to try again."
"Well, I don't want you back. Our marriage was over the moment you ripped the ring off my finger and threw me out. Now get out!"
Draco stood still and simply stared at Harry with anger brewing in his eyes. Eventually, the blonde said, "Right. If that's what you want, my lawyers will be in touch with the divorce papers and," he pointed a finger at Harry, "let me tell you, you will not be getting a penny from me over this."
"Is that all you can think about? Money? I don't want your fucking money! Now piss off!"
Draco mocked, "What? No final kiss? Are you sure you don't want one more sex session on the floor? Does the werewolf really satisfy you enough?" When Harry did not answer, Draco said, "Or maybe he tried you once and didn't like it?" Moving towards his ex-husband, he continued, "Yeah. He only wants you here because you gave birth to his freak bastard child and he feels sorry for you."
Unable to contain his anger anymore, Harry slapped Draco on the cheek. Before the blonde could react, Harry had taken hold of his hair; he dragged him down the hallway, opened the front door and threw him out in the street. Draco looked up at Harry in shock.
For the first time since Draco had knocked on the door, Harry felt confident. "Now you know what it feels like." And with that, he shut the door in Draco's face.
Emotionally and physically exhausted, he walked along the hallway and up the stairs.
"Harry?" called Remus softly.
Harry turned around and said, quietly, "Could you look after Ben, please? I need to be on my own for a while." Remus nodded as if he understood and went back to the kitchen. Harry continued walking up the stairs and went into his own room; it was only when he was lying on his own bed that he began to cry.
To be concluded...