Chapter 3

"For every one who becomes a hero and a saint through suffering, there are ten who seem to become dehumanized, depressed, or despairing."

-Peter Kreeft, Making Sense out of Suffering

"Hey, Grayson!"

Dick and his partner, Gannon, shared a look and both turned at the summons from one of the office secretaries. It was the end of a long shift, and he was ready to finish up some paperwork and head home. Unfortunately, a summons from one of them usually meant he had to redo something he'd thought he'd finished. And if they got him just as he was entering the station, it usually meant they'd been waiting for him and wanted it done right then.

She flashed him an apologetic smile. "You got a call about half an hour ago from a man named Alfred. He said to tell you that there was a…" She trailed off and reached for a notepad to read him the rest. "'There's an urgent situation, but please be sure to inform him that it's not an emergency.' He seemed like a nice old guy, but kinda cryptic."

Dick didn't hear the rest of what she said, his mind whirring a million miles an hour. What could have gone wrong now? Urgent, but not an emergency. No one was hurt, or at least, no one was hurt seriously… but if Alfred called, he needed him. Wait, Alfred needed him? That didn't make any sense. Since when did Alfred need him for anything? Since when did Alfred need help from anyone?

"Hey, Dick, you okay?" Gannon asked, his brow furrowed with worry. Dick had told him some of what had happened in the last few weeks…

Dick's head snapped up as he finally came out of his thoughts. "Yeah, I think so. Hey, could you do the paperwork of that last guy we pulled over? I know I said I'd-"

"Don't worry about it," Gannon said. "Alfred's a friend of the family right? Go take care of whatever it is."

Dick sighed in relief and started off in the direction of the lockers. "Thanks, Gannon. I owe ya one!"

Gannon just shook his head and grinned. "That's three, Grayson!"

Dick grinned back and shrugged, walking backwards for a few moments. "Yeah, but who's counting?" he asked innocently.

Gannon rolled his eyes and went the opposite direction. Dick quickly made his way for the lockers and, more importantly, his cell phone. He'd modified it with a communicator that would go straight to the bat cave in the case of an emergency. He smiled and nodded to all the people he passed, but looked away before they could actually start up conversation.

It still seemed to take an eternity before he got the phone and pushed the buttons on the side in the specific sequence to put him through to the bat cave. He wasn't sure Alfred would be down there, but if it was important, that was the first place to check. Afterwards, if he didn't get him, he'd call the manor.

Dick knew it was serious when Alfred skipped all pleasantries and got right to the topic. His eyes grew wider and wider as the friendly butler continued.

"Wait, Babs is what!"

Jake rubbed his eyes tiredly. It had already been a long day, and it looked to be even longer. He'd known he was going to have days like this when he started his own practice, but specializing in helping people putting together their wills had seemed like it would be benign enough. Lots of paperwork, but wasn't everything?

He leaned back in his chair and stared at the picture of his family on the corner of his desk. It had been a stroke of genius to keep it on top of his "work" tray. Whenever his stack got long and intimidating, his family's picture rose. Sometimes they even looked at him eye level, occasionally even higher, like they were watching all the work he was doing and encouraging him.

He shook his head once to clear it and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. He'd better call home. He was going to be late again.

As he reached for the phone, he heard what sounded like a small whirlwind burst through the door leading from his secretaries small office to the hallway. A deep, upset voice came through the wall, along with the high one of his elderly secretary. Curiosity and concern warred for dominance, as Jake put the phone back down and opened his door to see what was the matter.

A tall, dark-haired man was… not quite arguing with his secretary. They both stopped as soon as he entered.

"Mr. Rutherford, this young man wants the details of his friend's will," she said, giving him a look that said she knew this wasn't allowed. She paused for a moment and then added quite irrelevantly, "he doesn't have an appointment."

Jake nodded. "If you're here, your… friend…" he said, deliberately drawing out the word as if he doubted its veracity (which he did), "chose not to share the contents of their will with you. It's not ethical, or legal, for me to disclose to you-"

"My friend is Selina Kyle," the young man interrupted. "And I was just informed that she left custody of her daughter to another of my friends, Barbara Gordon."

Jake blinked. That was certainly not what he'd been expecting. Maybe this person would finally get those papers signed… and make sure Barbara Gordon knew what they meant. Still, he really shouldn't -

Unconsciously he glanced back into his office and saw the picture of his family.

"Why don't we step into my office?" he asked, gesturing for the policeman to go before him. "Mr…"

"Richard Grayson," the young man supplied, taking a seat in front of Jake's desk. "But everyone calls me Dick."

Jake paused on his way to his own seat, trying to figure out where he'd heard that name before. Of course! Wayne's son!

"Are you here on behalf of Mr. Wayne?" he asked before he could stop himself.

Dick winced. "No, I'm not here for him… for Barbara. She's the person Selina left with custody of her daughter."

"Has she decided?" Jake asked, leaning forward. "Did she sign those papers I left with her father?"

The young man seemed to sink in his seat and rubbed his eyes tiredly. "You left the papers with Commissioner Gordon?" he asked grudgingly.

Jake nodded, slightly taken aback by Dick's attitude. "I tried to speak with Ms. Gordon herself, but she was on too many medications. She wasn't responsive. Her father assured me that he would give her the papers and explain what they meant."

"And you didn't follow up?" Dick demanded, sitting up straighter now that he had someone to be angry with.

"When a week passed and I still hadn't heard, I did," the lawyer said, his eyes narrowing. "But I couldn't even get in the hospital room. There were police posted outside her door who refused to let me speak with her." He paused, and looked at Dick pointedly, letting the sarcasm show through in his voice. "They were there to keep the Joker's men away."

Dick sighed and shook his head. "That sounds like the commissioner," he admitted. "If he thinks Barbara isn't ready for what you would tell her, he'd make sure you didn't get the chance."

"Do you have contact with Ms. Gordon?" Jake asked.

Dick nodded. "She still doesn't know. I found out from a friend who was cleaning out her apartment."

Jake stood and went to one of his file cabinets lined up along one of the side walls. "I have copies of the papers I gave to Mr. Gordon." He found the right file and pulled out a manila folder. "Can I trust you to bring them to Ms. Gordon?"

"Absolutely," Dick assured him, standing up and taking the folder from the lawyer. "I might need a couple of days."

"I understand," Jake said, nodding. "But please go as quickly as you can. Ms. Kyle's daughter isn't eligible for any type of permanent foster care until the papers are signed one way or the other. She deserves the closure."

Dick nodded sadly, and Jake remembered belatedly that he was Bruce Wayne's adopted son. "Thank you for your help," Dick finally said, holding out his hand.

Jake shook it firmly. "I hope you get through to her."

Dick turned and walked away, and Jake closed the door behind him. He went back to his desk and remembered that he had been about to call his wife to let her know he was coming home late. He had picked up the receiver when he looked up and saw his family smiling at him from the picture frame. His own daughter was only a little younger than Helena Kyle.

He shook his head and dialed. There were two rings, and then he heard his wife's voice answer.

"Hi, honey. I just wanted to call and let you know that I'm on my way home."

As Dick walked into the room, Alfred in tow, he subconsciously made note of the two possible exits: the door he had just walked through and the window on the other side of the room. Warning bells went off in Dick's head when he noticed Gordon sitting in the corner of the room flipping through some of the pamphlets Alfred had brought a while back. Why would the commissioner do that? Babs was the one who had to pick the rehabilitation clinic… and Dick didn't see her leaving that decision up to her father.

Shaking those vaguely troubling thoughts away, he noticed the flowers spread on every available surface (a good many of them from him) and the last few slanted rays of sunlight coming through the window before the sun went down. Barbara was lying in the hospital bed, staring straight at the ceiling. Her gaze was disconcertingly blank, but he tried not to think about it.

Gordon smiled at Dick and Alfred as they came in and stood to greet them.

Dick ignored him. "Hey, Babs. How're you doing?"

Barbara turned her head to look at him and there was a flash of anger before she looked up at the ceiling again and shrugged weakly. "Fine."

Dick would've given his whole inheritance if only that look of anger had stayed. At least that reminded him of the Barbara he knew. With that in mind, he asked, "You been looking at the pamphlets Alfred brought you?"

"She hasn't quite felt up to it, yet," Jim answered.

Dick stared at him angrily for a moment, grinding his jaw tightly to keep from lashing out at him. Finally, he turned his gaze back to Barbara. "And why haven't you felt like it, Babs?"

Barbara was definitely beginning to look annoyed as she waited until the last second to look at him, but she only shrugged again. "There's time."

"There's been time," he pointed out, trying not to sound too accusatory. "The doctors say your spine has been stable enough to start therapy for a week. You should've made this decision almost a month ago."

Jim got to his feet furiously, but the look on his daughter's face stopped him. Her jaw was tightening and her eyes narrowed as she got angry. It was so nice to finally see her angry. He caught Alfred watching him and returned the gaze for a few moments before sitting back down.

"What's the point?" Barbara finally spat, her whole attention devoted to Dick. At the moment, she thought it was a rather apt nickname.

"What's the point?" Dick repeated disbelievingly, his eyebrows shooting upwards as he took a step forward. "You need to do your therapy to start living again. Taking care of yourself-"

"It wasn't enough!" she cut him off, clenching her fists tightly. "Don't you get it? All that training and all the work I did wasn't enough to protect me from him! Why the hell should I do anything, when everything I had wasn't enough… and now I won't even have that much."

"Because Selina trusted you to!" he yelled.

Dick noticed Gordon stiffen in his seat, but for several long moments no one said anything.

Barbara was so nonplussed that she forgot her anger as she shook her head several times. "What are you talking about?" she finally asked, frowning in confusion.

"Selina left you as the legal guardian of Helena," Dick explained, his eyes softening. "Bruce left. He's gone and no one can find him." He paused and tried to emphasize his last sentence. "You're all Helena has."

"I'm supposed to take care of Helena?" she asked, her whole posture relaxed as she tried to comprehend it.

"Yes," Dick said firmly, relieved that she was finally listening to him. "Babs… you…"

"Why didn't I know about this?" she asked, cutting him off. Her eyes flashed with a sudden clarity that filled him with hope. The world finally had her attention.

Jim cleared his throat. "That was my fault, honey," he said, leaning forward and taking her hand. "The lawyer came to the hospital, but it was after one of the surgeries…" he shook his head and swallowed thickly.

"You were awake, but you were on so much medication that you weren't… really conscious. I told the lawyer I would explain everything to you when you were awake. I have the paper work he gave me right here." He pulled a thick wad of folded paper from his inside coat pocket and handed them over.

Barbara took them and immediately started angling them towards the light so she could read them.

"The girl is in a group home at the moment," Alfred put in. "Any type of placement is dependant on how you sign the forms."

"She's been in the void," Dick said, his voice thick with emotion.

He stopped for a moment and rubbed his eyes, trying to cover up the tears. This was all hitting too close for him… bringing back memories of a little boy staring in horror as he watched his parents fall to their deaths. It was all he could do to not turn back into that little boy, crumbled on the floor and sobbing because his whole world was gone. Wondering if Helena had anyone to cry with her gave Dick the strength to stay on his feet for a little longer.

"She's been trying to grieve her mom while she waits to find out what's going to happen to her," he finally said.

Barbara's eyes quit moving for a few moments, and Dick knew that she was remembering when that had happened to her… and stories he had told her of when it had happened to him. This moment was so important that Dick hardly dared to breathe; if anything could wake Barbara up, this would be it.

"Why didn't you give them to me sooner?" she finally demanded of her father, holding out the paper work for emphasis.

Jim was quiet for several long moments and finally said, "I don't know. I'm sorry."

Her eyes filled with such a look of sadness that Jim's heart ached. "It's okay, Daddy," she said, giving his hand a gentle squeeze.

Dick let out a sigh, relieved that the worst seemed to be past. "So you're going to take her in?" he asked just to be sure.

Barbara started at the sound of his voice and looked at the papers in her hand as if they had suddenly changed from the inanimate objects they were to beings with malicious intent. She stared at them, her expression changing from disbelief, to sadness, to distrust, to betrayal, and back to sadness. It was as if the fog that had just begun to rise had solidified and was crushing her with its presence.

"No," she said softly. She stayed still for a moment, before shaking off the worst of whatever mood she was in. She reached over to her father and took a pen out of the pocket in the front of his coat. "Mind if I take this?"

Jim shook his head.

Dick's mouth dropped open and he could have sworn his heart stopped. "Babs… what…"

"I can't do it," she said softly, her lower lip trembling and her eyes filling with tears. She started initialing and signing the papers, blinking when her vision grew too fuzzy.

"No…" Dick stammered, watching in growing horror as she filled out the paperwork.

Barbara was signing the papers. No. She was releasing her right to guardianship. Stop. She was leaving Helena to her own inner wolves. Don't! The bodies were falling again and the helplessness was back and there was nothing he could do…

The images flashed faster and faster until they all blended and blurred together to form a word which filled his entire being with its urgency: Stop! "Stop! You have to, Babs! You're the only one left-"

"I CAN'T!" she snarled, her features twisted with anger and disgust. "Look at me, Dick. I can't even feed myself. Hell, I can't even crap on my own! Do you seriously expect me to be able to take care of a teenager?"

"Selina left you with guardianship-" he insisted lamely, his eyes wide open with surprise and the memory of his own fear.

"And that was a mistake," she finished harshly. She got to the last page and signed it at the bottom. "Can you date that for me?" she asked her father.

"Sure, sweetheart," Jim assured her. He wrote in the date, and folded the papers to put them back in his coat pocket. "If this is really what you want to do, I can take the papers to the lawyer tomorrow morning."

Barbara nodded and looked away.

"No!" Dick said, finally getting over his shock enough to get angry. "I know this is hard, Barbara, but you know what Helena's going through. She won't make it-"

"Get out," she ground out, her voice dangerously low.

"No," he said firmly. "Everyone's been trying to be nice to you, but-"

"Get out now!" she yelled.

"No!" Dick yelled back. He took a step forward, only to find himself being shoved out of the small room by Jim. Dick could've easily taken him, but he was enough himself to realize that beating up Barbara's father was probably not what she needed right then. He settled with turning around to face the commissioner and saying, "You know this is wrong."

Jim responded by giving him a final shove and telling the guard not to let him back in.

Alfred followed a moment afterwards – under his own power, of course – and together the two men walked to the elevator.

"Well, that didn't go as planned," Dick commented, running a hand through his hair.

"I'd say not," Alfred agreed.

They walked a moment more in silence.

"I trust you 'lifted' the forms from the good commissioner?"

Dick raised an eyebrow, offended that Alfred even asked him that. "Of course."