Title: Eh?
Disclaimer: There is no way that we could own Harry Potter, we're not smart enough for that; fortunately, J. K. Rowling is.
Authors: Lauren (Leytonunit930) and Christine (Tris-wannabe)
Summary:
Chapter 1: Superheroes, grindylows, and ponds
"POTTER!"
The young man who had previously been dozing off in an armchair next to the fire in the common room jumped up immediately.
"Lily?" he asked dazedly, looking around the room.
"Oh, so now he pays attention," whined another young man with dark hair and an extremely charming face. "We've only been calling his names for five minutes but when she yells he jumps to attention!"
Remus leaned back in his armchair and sighed. Sure, now he was awake, but they certainly wouldn't be getting any of his attention any time soon. She was coming. And that was bound to lead to a long argument, followed by a morose and irritable James, who wouldn't do anything but grunt in response to any conversation for a few hours.
Sure enough, Lily Evans came storming in the room, face flushed, flaming red hair flying out behind her, her lips forming the word 'Potter', clutching James's broomstick in her hand. To James, in his dreamy state, she was a godsend.
James got a goofy looking grin on his face and said, "Hiya, Lily." Lily was rather close to James now, but before James could get too caught in his dreamy moment, Sirius saw the need to make a valiant rescue. Sirius got up from his chair, spun James around and whacked him on the head.
"Wake up, idiot!" Sirius said with oh-so-much affection, "Evans has come to make your acquaintance, once again. She must need something very quickly because she's called you so politely and even seems to have brought you your broom!"
Finally, James seemed to wake up and come to. He rolled his eyes at Sirius, crossed his arms, and turned back around to face Lily. "What's the matter, Evans?" he asked, definitely over playing the gallant hero who was ready to fetch his maiden whatever she needed.
"If you're quite finished, you, Potter, always seem to be the matter," she stormed, glaring up at him from her slight disadvantage of 3 inches.
James smirked. "Am I, Evans? I'm so glad I always matter to you."
Lily's glare grew, if possible, even more fierce. "Tell me, Potter, why I found your broom outside by a tree near the lake and NOT," Lily paused for breath, "NOT in the Quidditch rooms where all the brooms are supposed to go!"
James looked fondly at the broom and replied with complete innocence, "Imagine that! I wonder how it got out there? Thank you so much, Evans, for returning my broom for me." James made to take the broom from Lily, but she pulled it out of his reach.
"Give me one reason why I shouldn't report you to the Head of House and have your broom confiscated!"
James looked at her with disbelief. "Why would you want to do that? You can't do that… right?"
Lily looked triumphant. "Oh yes I can. Those are the rules for when a broom is not put away correctly in the either the Quidditch lockers or the Broom cupboards, and leaning against a tree is neither of those!"
James now seemed to be genuinely worried. "Look, Evans, you can't do that. I've got Quidditch practice today and a big game coming up. Here, I'll put it away now." James reached out his hand to take the broom, but Lily made no move to give it to him.
"Maybe missing one little game is just what you need to remind you to always 'put it away,'" said Lily in an excellent McGonagall voice.
James was truly petrified. "Evans, I'm the Gryffindor Captain. I have to play. I'm the chaser. We'll lose without me. Come on, let my have my broom," James said, with pleading creeping into his voice.
Sirius, showing his un-dying support for James, nodded his head in agreement. "He's got a –" Sirius began, but was cut off instantly by a glare from Lily.
Remus, still sitting on an armchair by the common room fire, rolled his eyes and sighed. Unfortunately for him, Lily caught this motion and her attention was immediately drawn to him.
"You!" Lily exclaimed, staring at Remus.
"M-me?" Remus asked, confused.
"Yes, you! And where were you when our 'student-in-question' happened to leave his broom by a tree!" Lily fumed, her anger finding another outlet.
"I—I don't…" Remus faltered as he shook his head and struggled with what to say. "Maybe it was an accident?" Remus's voice seemed to go up the last word, sounding more like a plea for James than an explanation.
"AN ACCIDENT!" Lily trembled visibly. "AN ACCIDENT! Lupin, you are a PREFECT! It is your duty to correct people, especially these people," Lily nearly screamed, throwing her hands in the direction of Sirius and James.
"Hey," Sirius complained, "Since when did I get dragged into this? I didn't do anything." Then Sirius jumped and looked at James. "You didn't tell her about it, did you?" he asked worriedly.
"See what I mean!" Lily raged. "These two! Lupin, they are your responsibility too! You can't just let them get away with everything every – single - time! I'm sick of it!" With that, Lily turned on her heel and marched out of the common room. All the bystanders in the common room collectively let out their breaths.
"Hey, wait a minute!" James announced, "She's still got my broom! EVANS!"
James stormed out of the common room and climbed through the portrait hole after her.
"I personally don't think that Prongs is going to get his broom anytime soon. I mean Evans was furious, I mean whenever she does talk to him she is furious, but today, wow! Today, she looked downright-- well, angry is an understatement... She's scary; I have no clue what James sees in her. There are plenty of other women in the lake-" Sirius said, however Remus decided to interrupt at this moment.
"Sea. You meant Sea. It's a muggle saying."
"But why can't it be lake. I like lakes; they have mermaids, pretty mermaids, but I don't like grindylows, they're scary too, hey they're just like Lily. Lily, Grindylow. They rhyme!"
And with that, Remus banged his head on the table.
"POTTER, GET AWAY FROM ME!"
"Seems that you were rightSirius; Lily seems to be quite irritated."
"Of course I'm right, I'm always right, and I'm always handsome. Girls love me, except for Evans, that is. But really, I think she likes me. She just doesn't want to express her feelings."
"Stop being so supercilious Sirius, it's quite bothersome."
"Superwhadda? Is that some sort of superhero?"
"Supercilious. It means "
"I'm confused."
"Why does that not surprise me?"
Meanwhile outside the common room
"Why do you stalk me so much, Potter? Is it the fact that I am the only girl who won't fall for your arrogant, thick-witted behavior?"
"You just wait Lily-flower-"
"DON'T CALL ME LILY-FLOWER!"
"Lily-Rose, one day you wait, you won't be able to resist my irresistibility."
"What? Potter, get this through your thick skull. I will never fall for your ineluctable charm."
"Have just admitted that I am charming? Why Lily flower, I never knew you felt that way about me. This totally changes our relationship."
"WHAT RELATIONSHIP?"
"Our love, our everlasting passion."
"What?"
"Now, that we've established that-"
"No, wait!"
"How about that Hogsmeade trip? We can make it official then."
"NO POTTER! I WILL NOT GO OUT WITH YOU! FOR THE HUNDREDTH TIME, I WOULDN'T GO OUT WITH YOU IF YOU WERE THE LAST PERSON ALIVE! LEAVE ME ALONE! " Lily, then stormed off.
"GETTING ANGRY AT ME, LILY, ONLY MAKES ME LOVE YOU MORE! IT JUST SHOWS THAT OUR LOVE CAN WITHSTAND ANYTHING" James then ran a hand through his hair, smirking at Lily storming off.
"AND STOP RUNNING YOUR HAND THROUGH YOUR HAIR!"
Back in the common room
"Why can't James just unfall in love with her?"
"Unfall?"
"Yes, it rhymes with furball which rhymes with disco ball which rhymes with-"
Lily walked back into the common room, her cheeks red with anger, and if possible her red hair even redder than normal.
"Remus, would you please remind Potter to put his broom away? Otherwise, next time, I might have to confiscate his broom for not following the rules." Lily said giving the boys a malicious grin.
"YEA! Lily does have a heart!" Sirius danced around the room. "Oh and guess what Lily, I'm superman."
"WHAT? Who told you that?"
Sirius then points to Remus, who again bangs his head on the table. "Supercilious, supercilious."
"So, Lily-flower..."
"Hey! I'm the only one who can call her that. She's my girl. Go get your own Padfoot-." James was then interrupted by Lily saying, well more like yelling:
"I AM NOT YOUR GIRL, POTTER!"
"Well, you could be, Evans, if you go out with me."
"Again, Potter, I wouldn't go out with you if you were the last person on earth-."
"But what if he was the last fish in the pond," Sirius commented.
"EH?" Lily and James both looked at Sirius with strange looks.
"Remus told me that too."
"No, Sirius, no. I said plenty of fish in the sea. Not ocean, not lake, and not POND! SEA!"
A/N: This is Christine (Tris-wannabe) and Lauren (leytonunit930): READ AND REVIEW!