Title: Eh?
Disclaimer: There is no way that we could own Harry Potter, we're not smart enough for that; fortunately, J. K. Rowling is.
Authors: Lauren (Leytonunit930) and Christine (Tris-wannabe)
Summary:Lily hates James. James loves Lily. That could be a problem, couldn't it? Sirius loves using sayings, Remus loves it when Sirius gets them right, which is not often. Ignore dumb summary…….
Authors' Note: Sorry about the long wait for this chapter. Also, last time we forgot to mention that our wonderful title was thought of by our good friend, Ellen. So….props to Ellen!
Chapter 2: Ideas, 2nd place, action figures
Lily banged her pillow against her head again. And again. And again. And again. And one more time for good luck. Unfortunately, her luck didn't hold out, and that scream she was trying to keep in came bursting out. The few girls in the dorm at the time gave Lily a sympathetic look, then went back to charming their bed-curtains the perfect coppery moonlight.
Why me? Lily thought to herself over and over again. What did I ever do to deserve this? She couldn't talk about it with any of her friends, because none of them understood why she was the only girl in the school who didn't want to go out with the most popular Gryffindor.
They just can't see past his good looks- I MEAN, um… outward appearance, Lily told herself. They don't realize that he's big-headed, and… big-headed! Lily groaned in frustration and hit herself with the pillow again. It was an Irish pillow.
Sirius turned to James and said, "I'm no expert, mate, but I don't think that ended too well."
"Actually," Remus countered, "It was relatively excellent. Lily didn't call you any names, or undesirable adjectives, or hex you, which puts this incident quite high on the record. As a matter of fact, it ranks 2nd overall. 1st place is when she didn't stomp up the stairs."
"Gee, thanks, Moony," James grumbled, sinking into a chair by the fireplace.
"Look on the bright side, James-"
"Moony," Sirius interrupted, "A fire is bright on all sides."
Remus fought the urge to roll his eyes. It was a bloody battle, but he won it.
"Why, thank you, Sirius."
"No problem," Sirius quipped. "I'd've thought a brainiac like you would know that already."
"As I was saying," Remus continued, "You two did have a moment, James."
James shot up. "What?" he croaked. Remus said there was something, and Remus never said that.
"Well, you were both united in confusion of Sirius, here. You both even said the same thing at the same time. Although, I'm not sure it counts, because 'eh' is not technically a word. The dictionary does consider it slang…"
Sirius brightened. "See that, Prongs! I brought you two together! I'm a fuse-creator!"
James' face was a mixture of disappointment and confusion.
"Uh, Sirius, do you mean… match-maker?" questioned Remus.
"'Match-maker'? No, I haven't invented any sport. Although technically I did reinvent the game of Quidditch with my amazing moves…"
Remus fought the battle with his eyes again. This time he lost. It was a one-sided battle.
At the mention of Quidditch, James perked up. "I'm going flying," he said as he took his broom and headed towards the common-room door.
"James," Remus called, "Don't forget to put your broom away."
James turned to Remus and glared.
Remus flinched, but said, "Sorry, mate, but I've got to watch out for my own skin, too. Lily'll kill me, too, you know.
"Lily doesn't strike me as the kind of person who would kill someone," Sirius remarked. "But she is really scary.
Remus sighed. "It's a figure of speech, Sirius, get it through your head."
Sirius gasped. "I didn't know that Speech had an action figure!"
The broom incident between Lily and James was quickly forgotten by the Marauders and James was back to his normal self- well that is if you call staring at Lily 24/7, acting like a mighty big shot in front of his "flower", and obsessing over her every move being normal. Sirius for one could not understand his best friend's behavior, and went to the "all-mighty" Remus for answers.
"Is it possible for someone to be so in love? Look, Remus, he hasn't even touched his food." Sirius pointed at James who stared at Lily while drooling on the table which Remus looked at with disgust.
Ever since the Lily-broom accident, James had fallen more in love with her. All he talked about was Lily, when he was awake or even in his sleep.
"Moony, you know I'm very supportive of James and Lily, but this is going too far. Last night, James was talking in his sleep, and do you know what he was saying?"
"No, Padfoot. Unlike you, I was asleep, that was until a certain person decided to wake me up so that I could listen to James snore, drool, and pine for Lily."
"EXACTLY! See Moony, this isn't normal. WE-"
"No, Padfoot. WE are not going to do anything, is that understood?"
"But...WHY?"
"Because I said so, Padfoot. If we do something and it messes everything up, do you think you could live with the guilt? Knowing the fact that we messed up James and Lily's chance?"
"Oh dear Merlin. I just got an idea!"
"Let's hear it. Those don't come often, do they?"
"Aww; thanks, you always give the best compliments. BUT, what if instead of messing up Lily and James's chance, we brought them together?"
"That's your great, magnificent idea? Oh dear, that's terrible. We're talking about you trying to bring James and Lily together. That's hysterical."
Remus started laughing and spat out his pumpkin juice which got on James glasses, who just took them off, wiped them clean with his shirt, put them back on and proceeded to continue to stare at Lily.
"Sorry James."
"Huh-What?"
"Never mind."
"Have you noticed the way Lily's hair shimmers in the sunlight? Have you noticed her eyes sparkle when she's either excited or when she's so into what she's doing? She's perfect, Moony."
"See Moony, Prongs never has time for me anymore." Sirius pouted.
"Padfoot, are you sure that your concerns are strictly for James' well-being and emotional state or are they the fact that you are not the center of attention anymore?"
"Both..no…wait, the first, I'm not sure. Which one is better?"
James suddenly broke his gaze from Lily and looked at Sirius who kept muttering "the first, no the second, no the first, no both, no..I'm so confused," and Remus who kept banging his head on the table.
"What's going on here?" James asked.
"You don't want to know." Remus said while shaking his head.
"Well, I have decided something important that is going to change the lives of wizard kind!" James said excitedly.
"You're not going to obsess over Lily anymore?" Sirius asked with a hopeful expression.
"You're actually going to do your homework and study?" Remus asked breaking into a wide grin.
"Are you all crazy? That would be like me giving up Quidditch!" James said, clearly flabbergasted that his friends would think of something like this. Remus, after hearing what was going to change the lives of wizard kind, banged his head on the table, and Sirius joined him. "I'm going to ask Lily to the Hogsmeade trip coming up this weekend, but this time, I have a new approach which will clearly win her over; I'm sure of it."
"This would be the 673rd time James has said this, but then fails." Remus said marking off another tally in his notebook.
"Like it or not James, I don't think Lily likes you like that."
"And why would you say that?" James asked very defensively.
"Well, she hates your guts and never forgets to mention that whenever you talk to her, is the only girl who doesn't have a crush on you, and she's not even in your fan club; but let's not forget, James, she didn't say she wouldn't date you if you were the last fish in the pond. That's gotta be some improvement, mate!" Sirius responded feeling very clever for himself for getting the saying right.
Bang. Bang. Bang.
"Moony, that wasn't a very smart thing to do," Sirius said. "Banging your head on the table won't help Prongs. You'll just get a headache and then who will help me make fun of James, who will help me annoy Lily, who will help me make fun of Lily and James, who-," he said frantically.
"QUIET!" Remus yelled.
"Great O smart and wise one, you just got us in trouble with Princess Lily. Good going," Sirius said sarcastically.
Standing by the doorway was one furious Lily Evans. If looks could kill, well, they'd all be dead right about now