We Are (Not) Cursed

by BardInTheForest

(Pax Ikari vol III) When Shinji Ikari rides the train from Nagano to Tokyo-3, he is made the epicenter of a reality altering event. With the reality he had occupied now changed forever, he must conceive of a future that will accomodate diametrically opposed ethos. A man who has never known love is now responsible for the fate of the very humans he's been kept from, for good or ill.

6. Chapter 6

+++++ Section One Dormitories. (Sunday + 1)

Ritsuko was amazed at how quickly Shinji seemed to rebound from the varying obstacles that were making his transition to the new reality harder than it otherwise would have been. She surmised that it was likely due to a life of constant negative reinforcement, his desire to live outweighing his desire to 'escape' in the way that too many humans chose to. He walked at her side, quietly, carrying both of their meals that she'd secured from the cafeteria. He had a slight frown of distaste, clearly anticipating the caloric intake not being exceptionally nourishing. He also clearly failed to notice the looks of both surprise and amazement his presence was causing. She knew that an announcement had been made, and that the rumor mill had spun into high gear despite accurate information being disseminated, but there would always be those few that simply failed to avail themselves of such news.

"So…we're on the inside surface of a Dyson Sphere." Shinji's tone was introspective, but he was clearly speaking to her despite keeping his eyes on a moving spot three meters ahead of his feet. "And we're not sure if we've been moved off of Earth, if Earth's there, or if all of this is just…a butterfly's dream."

"Correct." She pulled him to a stop in front of her door. "We have some teams performing investigations, but we're being careful at the moment due to the entirety of our GPS network having gone down for obvious reasons. Compasses aren't incredibly useful, considering they just spin wildly, and so we have to rely on a minority of Section Two, the people responsible for security, that have passed some form of the JSSDF's Land Navigation School."

He hesitated to ask, which showed on his face, which garnered the same eyebrow raise she'd given him several times before when she'd noted that he was reluctant to speak. "But why did the men vanish? Why just Japan? Why did the alien disappear? I-it's not like I don't believe you, you have no reason to make any of this up! I just…I don't understand why I'm here…."

With her door now open, she tugged him in with her. "You're here because we couldn't rely on -00, because the pilot for -00 couldn't even get -01 across the recognition threshold let alone across the factory floor, and because your mother ran out of choices." Closing the door behind them, she gestured for him to move towards the only seating in the room, her bed. "She didn't want you to have to do this. But given the choice between exposing you to this, and you dying because she didn't expose you to this, she chose the path that let you have at least a chance at life."

Shinji stood next to the wall at the foot of the bed, not sure of what he was supposed to do now. "I…have a hard…."

"I know, trust me I know." Tugging on his shirt, she pulled him to where he sat next to her and retrieved her meal. "My mom wasn't there for a lot of stuff, growing up. I've never known who my father is, was, whatever. She wasn't the best mom, I'm pretty sure Maya's mom takes that particular title, but my mother tried her best to do what was necessary to create a future for me. Forgive your mom, don't forgive your mom, that's up to you. But I'd recommend at least hearing her out first. I didn't hear mine out, and I made myself look like a jackass for five years because I chose to believe the lie I'd constructed over the uncomfortable truth."

Opening the reusable clamshell container and stirring the vegetables and rice he'd decided was the least terrible option, he swallowed his reflexive retort about his mother being a cunt. "…Why couldn't she let me grow up here? Why couldn't she let me have someone like you instead of…."

"Don't know." Digging into her own food, she looked at him with sincerity and shrugged. "What I was told when I found out you existed was that you were being protected. That, despite Auntie Kyoko and mom arguing against it, she sent you to live with her sister to-"

"Sister?!" His face turned green, and he quickly closed his container of food. Setting it aside and standing up to pace, he tried and failed to keep his hands from spasmodically fidgeting.

Against her better judgement, Ritsuko sat and continued to eat while watching him with an impassive expression. You are an absolute bundle of problems, my friend. A cute bundle of problems, but still a bundle of problems.

"D-do y-you…cards?"

She swallowed what was in her mouth. "Playing cards?"

"Y-yeah."

Standing up, she stepped over to the door and swung it open. She wasn't surprised to see a gaggle of people had congregated. No one was authorized to leave the base for now, and the barracks was really the only possible location to exist without being questioned. Most of those she saw were people she knew had no husbands or boyfriends, and so would be those more likely to be curious about the sole surviving male. Without explaining anything, she raised her voice to be heard over the din, "Anyone have some playing cards?" One of the women Ritsuko recognized as Section Two, someone that clearly was there to keep an eye on Shinji's safety, appeared from nowhere and offered her a pack of cards. "Ah, thank you Akane-san."

The typically convivial agent saw Shinji pacing inside the room, and asked in a voice pitched to avoid scrutiny, "He ok?"

"Culture shock, physical shock, emotional shock, and mental shock. He needs our help, and some peace and quiet. Please keep the crowd from becoming too noisy?"

"Don't worry. Miki-chan and I will disperse them if they can't remember their manners." Winking, she moved back to where she'd been standing before the request for cards.

Ignoring a few of the braver souls that asked ignorant questions, Ritsuko closed the door behind her and offered the cards to Shinji. "Like playing solitaire?"

"N-no." Demonstrating his natural dexterity, he had the cards out of the pack and was already performing those sleights of hand that didn't require pre-knowledge of the deck he was holding before she'd sat back down. With his hands once more occupied, his mind began to settle into the subconscious mantras that kept him from losing control over his emotional state. "I r-read th-that some p-people d-drink to c-cope. C-cards."

She'd only seen the type of manual exercise he was performing in videos before now. It was hard for her to not be impressed at the way he seemingly performed magic without thinking about it. "Know any tricks?"

"…A f-few." Turning about, he faced her and fanned the deck out with the symbols facing her. "T-take a card." Doing this would allow him to take his mind off of those horrible truths from his past. After she'd selected her card, drawing it out from the rest, he shuffled the cards three times and then cut it in a random spot. Holding the two sections of the deck apart, with the symbols resting on his palms, he nodded his head towards her slightly. "Put it on either one, face down."

The calm that had come over him was encouraging, and was giving her an idea of how to bring him this calm in the future. "I'll put it on the left side, because that's sinister."

He blinked. "Latin." Placing the portion in his right hand atop the portion in his left, he began shuffling rapidly, cutting at certain points, and then holding the deck up so that her card was on the bottom. "This one?" He wasn't quite ready for her smile, nor her cheerful applause and slight bounce of joy. "I-it's a s-simple trick."

"But it's not one I've ever seen!" Motioning an apology, she sat down and began eating again. "I think I get the mechanics of it, kind of. You're counting out the number of cards on each side, and then when you shuffle them you move the card down a certain number of spots. Once you've moved it the correct number of spots, you show it to the audience."

"I'm…uhm…."

"Right, right. Can't reveal the trick." She smirked playfully. "Magician's Code." A knock on the door startled him, irritating her. "Who is it?"

"It's me senpai," Maya's voice replied.

Ritsuko looked to Shinji for permission. "Is she on the approved list?"

"Th-this is y-your room." He shrugged, focusing on the motions of the cards in his hands.

"And for now, you're my roommate. Are you ok with Maya coming in?"

He couldn't think of any reason he wouldn't be, so he nodded twice. Moving to the back of the small dorm room, he leaned his hip against the wall and continued to perform his series of intricate shuffles.

Ritsuko opened the door, hustled Maya in, and closed the door behind her. "Hey babe," sharing a chaste kiss, she urged her over to the bed to sit down, "please tell me that bag you're carrying has what I think it has."

Maya blushed, then eyed Shinji for any possible reaction to the kiss, then finally relaxed when all she saw in his eyes was worry over something completely different than a pair of bisexual women indulging in fraternization. "Mostly." Opening the canvas tote she'd brought with her, she first pulled out a white paper pharmacy sack. "Sub-Commander Zeppelin and I agreed on these after looking through the data we'd collected on his blood type, height, weight, and general personality." Her head turned towards Shinji. "These aren't miracle pills. They aren't going to suddenly make you a completely whole person. What they'll do is calm your anxiety and stifle your depression enough that conversations with people you trust can start the heavy work of clearing out whatever is causing you so much pain. Ok?"

"It'd…be nice to have a pill like that." Once again, simply having Maya around seemed to be improving his mood. Her general positivity and 'can-do' attitude encouraged him to try and be a better person himself. "But I-I know they don't exist."

"Yet," Ritsuko amended with a grin. "We're not going to give up on looking for something that can quiet intrusive thoughts. You're not the only person that suffers from them, and that doesn't mean they're not a problem so don't take it that way."

Maya nodded eagerly. "I have them too, and without having gone through therapy to learn coping mechanisms I'd still be a wreck." She handed the pills over to Ritsuko to peruse. "I also brought what little they were able to recover from the crash. I'm really sorry that there wasn't more. The car you were in had burst into flames, and…well…." Reaching into the tote, she pulled out what remained of his deck of cards and a folded metal portrait folio. "This was it."

Shaking his head, Shinji ignored both items. "I…I don't need them."

"Yeah, I guess a half-burned deck of cards isn't of much use." Setting that back in her tote, she grew curious about the portrait folio. "Mind if I take a look?" Accepting his limp shrug as permission, she opened it up and realized the error she'd made in bringing it to him. Within was a photo of what she didn't doubt was the former guardian of Shinji sitting on his lap with her arms around his neck and a huge smile on her face. The woman in question looked a great deal akin to Yui Ikari, save for the display of genuine emotion. The way she was seated raised Maya's hackles, and the stolid set of Shinji's face in the photograph made her clap it shut and toss it in the bag as well. "Senpai, let's take a picture with Shinji."

Ritsuko looked away from her inspection of the medication and the paperwork that came with it, and noted that 'Serious Maya' had made an appearance. "Sure. I'll set up my phone to take it for us."

"Great. I want to have a memento of my first day with my new friend." Tossing her tote aside, she stood up and moved purposefully over to stand next to Shinji. "Would you be all right with me hugging you for the picture?"

The way that she made him feel, he'd be fine with her stabbing him with a flaming hot rusty knife for the picture. "If…uhm, if you want." Soon, he had Maya hugging him from one side while smiling brightly for the camera, and Ritsuko putting her arm around his shoulders from the other side with her head leaned against his. Her smirk matched his, in that both didn't wish to lie to whoever viewed the photograph: the picture was a moment in time that was staged, manufactured, but that was really all that was dragging it down. Both felt a form of pure unadulterated joy at the infectious young woman willing them to be happier than they were.

It was just that both also recognized that she couldn't prop them up forever.

+++++ Tokyo-3 High School. (Monday + 2)

The morning had gone far differently than Shinji had anticipated. Despite every logical argumentation to the contrary, it was determined that all remaining students would attend their classes. He'd fallen asleep in Ritsuko's room, propped up in a corner after having spent the rest of the evening following the photograph playing poker with her and Maya. Both women had brought him into their confidence, sharing with him the basic details of their lives that people tended to. It was magical to him, normal to them, and a mundane way to spend time. He'd been awoken by Ritsuko's phone sounding with a message from her mother asking her to get him over to the on-base Post Exchange.

Once there he received a haircut, a small selection of hygiene products, an opportunity to shower himself that he availed himself of, clothing for a few days until the local economy could be restarted, breakfast, lunch, and a NERV-issued smartphone. Kyoko Zeppelin and Naoko Akagi spent the entire time talking him through the expectations of an Eva pilot, assuring him that he'd always have someone nearby to help him in case something went wrong, and generally overtly enjoying the experience of preparing a young man to win hearts and minds on his first day in public education. Neither had made him feel like an invalid, and both managed to be warm and encouraging without being maternal or overbearing. Once he was in the back of a car riding towards his new school, he looked back on the two-hour experience and for once managed to not hate life.

"Hey, kid," the Section Two agent sitting in the passenger's seat of the black sedan he rode within turned to face him, "quick question, if you don't mind."

Refocusing his attention on the present, instead of the first pleasant morning in his memory, he tried to not stammer in surprise, "Oh, uhm…not at all, ma'am."

"Grapevine tells me that you're good with cards. You need some specialty decks? I know a shop in the local, and the proprietress tends to get in some real nice sets. Smooth, flanged, polished, anything you might want." She gestured with a finger to his jacket pocket. "You can keep the one from last night, that's my battle spare anyway. I just figured you might be in the market for something to replace what the train killed."

He blinked, surprised that the question wasn't related to anything he would deem 'important'. "I…uhm, I don't have any money."

"Didn't ask for any." She flashed him a bright grin. "Grapevine also tells me you've had a shit life. Most of us in Two have a soft spot for good guys that don't flinch from a hard road. I figure I butter you up with a few decks of cards, and in return you don't go walkies without tipping us off as to where you're off to."

This, as much of the rest of the morning had been, was not something he anticipated. "You really don't have to-"

"Akane-chan doesn't have to, no," the driver replied with a laugh, "but she wants to. We have to watch over you, but we also want to watch over you. Until we find where the other guys went off to, you're the only one left. That makes it really important for us to have a good relationship with you, which means helping each other out when we can. You can help us out by not sneaking around, and we can help you out by finding things that make you happy."

"Miki-chan has it right, for the most part," Akane nodded in agreement. "I also just want to get to know the man with big enough balls to bark back at the Commander."

Shinji's gaze drifted towards the window again. "I…probably shouldn't have done that."

"Probably not, but if we only ever did things we were supposed to do life wouldn't be half as much fun." Turning back around, she let him be for now. "Give it some thought, let me know. It'll probably be a few days before she'd be able to check her stock anyway, so no huge rush."

"Yes, ma'am." He could feel the medication working to keep him levelheaded. The temporary medicines that they said would cover everything while the long-term medicines built up in his system were, according to them, potentially too strong. He was just happy they didn't cause him to be drowsy. Dozing off in his first day in a school would, from what he knew, not be well received. The sedan pulled up to the front gate, two other heavier vehicles blocking off the street so that nobody could or would 'get stupid'. Gathering up his bag and packed lunch, he was surprised when Akane opened the door for him and hesitated slightly in climbing out. Now he would appear to be someone important. Looking around, though, he noted that there were only three people present other than the ones he'd arrived with, and none of them seemed to be acting 'strange'.

Once he was out of the car and on his feet, the woman standing in the center bowed politely to him. "Good morning, Ikari-kun. Welcome to Tokyo-3 High School." Her voice was pleasant, her demeanor friendly, and she looked like a housewife that had aged gracefully despite a life full of stress. "I am Principal Hashiba, and I am thrilled to greet you on your first day here in our School." Accepting his return bow, she gestured to her left first, "Allow me to introduce Toriumi-sensei," then to her right, "and Kawakami-sensei. Due to recent incidents, we have had to reconfigure the lecture schedule and assign three teachers to each class to handle all of the requisite coursework."

Shinji bowed to each teacher in turn, minding his manners. The task complete, he asked what seemed to him to be a sensible question, "There are so few teachers left that you have had to step in, Hashiba-sensei?"

"Kashiwagi-sensei is running behind, I believe," she responded evasively. "I'm certain you will meet her later today, since I spoke with her yesterday regarding the new plan."

"Don't worry, Ikari-kun," Kawakami stepped towards him, smiling with a confidence that she clearly didn't feel, "Toriumi-sensei and I will make certain that your first day goes off without a hitch."

Toriumi stepped in as well, taking her lead from the other teacher. "I've heard that your honored mother has dedicated as much of her staff as possible to the task of finding the missing population. I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say that I'm glad you're here to pilot the Purple Guardian now, in case that strange alien returns."

As much as he wanted to express his feelings regarding his mother, even Shinji was able to see that there would be benefits to society if he didn't put the rift between him and her out for public consumption. "I will do my best, sensei." Being the center of attention, despite the medication, was becoming a major source of anxiety. "Thank you…uhm, for accepting me here."

"I'm sure it will be our pleasure." The principal motioned towards the main building, urging everyone towards it. "We've asked the students to show up an hour late today, so that the teachers could adjust their lesson plans accordingly. We, however, will use that time to acclimate you to your new home away from home."

An abbreviated tour followed, avoiding those areas of the school that were being repaired after 'the incident' and focusing on those areas that they anticipated Shinji making the most use of. More than a few staff stopped what they were doing to greet him with a warm smile, and an honestly upbeat demeanor. The more he met, the more he realized that it was probably for the best that they continued with as much 'normalcy' as possible. He could see some women who were distraught, but soldiering on regardless. Some that were likely one cross comment away from collapsing into tears, or exploding into anger. Still others who seemed as if they were almost happy about what had happened.

Once he was seated in his new classroom, listening to the two teachers who'd been assigned to his class discussing how to best cover for the missing third teacher, he began to piece together how he knew so much about what people were feeling. Unit-01 and him were the same thing, that much he understood. The giant had told him as much without telling him anything specifically. They also understood humanity on a much more intrinsic level, seeing the space between just as easily as the matter inside.

Watching Kawakami for a few seconds, he realized that she was struggling in life. She'd never found 'the one', and she blamed herself just as much as the society she lived in for that fact. She wasn't unattractive, even when compared against women that were several years her junior, but she also wasn't someone who would compromise on her beliefs just to land a partner. She was who she was, take it or leave it.

When his attention turned to Toriumi, he felt his heart lurch. She presented the world with a woman who was poised, polished, and prepared. Her clothing was immaculate, her hair well-maintained, and her mannerisms professional. Beneath all that, however, was a woman who just didn't give a toss whether she lived or died. She'd been beaten down by life, abused by everyone that she believed she could trust, and simply did not fit in with her peer group. Much like Kawakami, she'd never found 'the one', but instead of blaming herself she blamed the men that approached her.

The door to the classroom had been shut, and the inset window had been covered over. The explanation given to him was that it was to prevent the students from gawking at him and distracting everyone, and whether or not that was the entire truth it didn't really matter because he appreciated not being gawked at far too much to pry further. From his seat next to whoever was serving as the class representative, he would be extremely visible to anyone walking past the door. That meant that when the door swung open, he wasn't quite ready for what followed.

A logjam rapidly developed at the entryway as the young women he'd seen inside Tartarus caught sight of him. Approaching the school as a group, for whatever reason, those that had walked at the back of the pack tripped over those at the front as they stopped to stare in disbelief at Shinji. Eriko Kirishima had been one of those at the fore, gasping and covering her mouth when she saw him. From there, the slapstick comedy began as people bumped into each other eventually leading to a pile of students on the floor in the entryway.

Only two had not succumbed to the comedy of errors, and both of which handled the situation with greater calm than their peers: Mitsuru Kirijo and Rise Kujikawa. It was the former that spoke up, with a tone laden heavily with disappointment in her class. "Ladies, we have all seen a male before. Either within our own families, or in this very classroom. If you would kindly pick yourselves up off the floor and find your seats, I'm certain that our teachers will be glad to introduce us to our fellow student." Shielding him by stepping in front of his desk and facing the gaggle, she solved the potential issue of the teachers finding out about their already having met by eyeing everyone with ire.

Rise slipped past and took the seat directly behind the class representative's. "Hi," she spoke in a conversational tone, avoiding drawing attention from the irritated teachers or the irritated Mitsuru, "pleased to meet you. My name is Rise Kujikawa, welcome to T-3 High."

He hadn't really thought about what he hadn't discussed with the people he'd met at NERV. Things had gone so far out of his depth so quickly that the topic had just never come up in any socially cogent manner. With one simple greeting, Rise had managed to tell him everything he needed to know about keeping everything a secret, and for that he was immensely grateful. "Pleased to meet you, Kujikawa-san. I'm Shinji Ikari, please take care of me."

All eyes were on him, until Kawakami clapped loudly several times to draw that attention back to her. "Ok, class, now that we're done embarrassing ourselves I'd like to take a moment to introduce you to our new student." It was Toriumi who beckoned for Shinji to come up front, placing him between her and her fellow teacher to help him feel safe. Once he was there, Kawakami gestured to him and urged him to speak up, "Please, Ikari-kun, introduce yourself."

"Uhm…sure." Public speaking was unlikely to ever be one of his strengths, even if it was to a group of women that had mostly already met him. "Pleased to meet you all, my name is Shinji Ikari. I'm…new to Tokyo-3, and don't know my way around yet. Please take good care of me."

Toriumi acknowledged her student's difficulties and spoke in his stead to clarify a few issues. "Yes, he is the son of Yui Ikari, this school's most generous benefactor. No, he will not go into why he lived in Nagano instead of here. Leave it at the fact that his family believed it would be best for him to not be exposed to the greedy individuals that would try to use his status for their own benefit. Yes, his arrival here is tied to the arrival of the aliens as he was intended to pilot one of the giant mecha before everything happened. No, he is not free to get into the specifics."

Picking up the thread, Kawakumi added, "We know that everyone misses their fellow students-"

"Like, no we don't," one of the students snorted.

"-but I want to assure you that NERV is doing everything they can to find and bring our missing compatriots home."

Shinji suddenly realized that the women sitting before him must have fathers, or brothers, that had gone missing. A sense of obligation, with his mother being clearly well-liked, sprang forth prompting him to ad-lib, "When I arrived, my…mother was reorganizing the remaining staff at NERV into groups to search for…everyone. I was told this morning that she spent most of the evening with the Prime Minister trying to coordinate their efforts."

"Thank you, Ikari-kun. I'm sure everyone can rest easier knowing that NERV is so heavily invested in resolving the situation." Toriumi gently rubbed his back, gesturing towards the seat he'd been given. "Go ahead and have a seat, and we'll get started."

"Thank you, sensei." Trying not to hurry while still moving as fast as possible, he retreated to his seat and tried not to visibly lament being at the front of the room where he'd have people staring at him.

His discomfort was quickly trebled when Ulala Serizawa raised her hand and asked far too innocently, "Could we maybe rearrange the seats? I mean, for right now there's only nine of us."

"A three by three block of seats, closer to each other, would allow us to help Shinji-kun get up to speed faster," Eriko agreed, mirroring her innocent tone. "We don't know how long it might take to find anyone, and so we should take advantage of the smaller classroom to help him before everyone returns and he can't lean on us as much."

The two teachers looked at one another, Toriumi shrugging first before Kawakami nodded and shrugged. "Sure. We need to go have a quick conversation with the principal anyway, so why don't you organize a new seating arrangement, Kirijo-chan?"

Mitsuru stood smoothly from her seat. "Of course, sensei. Everyone stand." Finishing the formalities of seeing the teachers out of the classroom, then closing the door behind them, she turned and faced everyone with more than a touch of heat in her voice. "Kirishima-san, Serizawa-san, this remains a classroom and not a matchmaking service. Ikari-san arrived here two days ago, and has already had to go through far too much just arriving in Tokyo-3."

The same student who'd dismissed the need for the male students to return now ignored Mitsuru's irritation. "So, like, what's that thing sticking out of your neck, Shinji-kun?"

"Ayase-san!"

"N-no, please…it's ok." His medicines were having to work far too hard to keep him calm at the moment, and physical peculiarities weren't something he really gave much thought to. "I don't know what it is. Doctor Akagi and Doctor Zeppelin think it might be a number of different things. I can't really feel it, and I often forget it's there, I…didn't have it until I got here."

"That really looks painful," the young woman who'd attempted to speak inside Tartarus announced, standing next to his desk and looking at it with a wince. "I mean, I'm glad that you don't feel it, and I'm glad you have doctors looking at it, but…yikes." Giving him a small wave, she introduced herself, "Chie Satonaka, it's nice to meet you officially, Shinji-kun." Her gaze moved to Mitsuru. "Listen, he's going to be a massive distraction for a while no matter which way you slice it. Why don't we at least move everyone into a square, that way you're close enough to slap people? It's strategically sound, and it will stop us from having to dive for our seats every time a teacher comes in."

Mitsuru was well aware of how Shinji was uncomfortable being the center of attention. She had spent more than enough time analyzing people quickly to get the impression that the last thing he wanted was a whole host of questions bombarding him constantly. "Stack the extra desks and chairs neatly in the back, out of the way. Ikari-san, could I have a word with you by the blackboard?"

Shinji dutifully stood and moved where he'd been asked to. What he saw when looking at Mitsuru was a less brash Misato. Mitsuru was a woman who would be in charge, if she so chose to be, but was equally capable of following someone with the right credentials. She was a manager, a supervisor, but not a natural leader. She could put people in place to succeed, perhaps even inspire some of them to do so, but never spark the flames that would ignite their internal motivations like a true leader could. When she reached the same point, urging him to turn and face the blackboard with her, he apologized, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to become a distraction ever, but really didn't mean to do so before the first official period."

Her tone was kindness and grace, laced with a surety of purpose that he envied, "Please, it is my place to apologize. I should have anticipated you surviving…whatever that thing was. I should have prepared them for the possibility of you being here. I was too distracted by…." She sighed and shook her head slightly. "It's neither here nor there. Please, weather this first day and I promise those that follow won't be as chaotic."

"Sure…no problem." He coughed out a tired laugh. "This is all insane, you know that, right? I'm about as interesting as white paint, and have absolutely zero idea how to make friends."

She gave him a smile full of the same fire she'd shown earlier, but with a layer of hope atop it. "I think you're doing just fine, actually. What you said earlier, about your mother helping look for people…that shows us who you are inside. Keep showing us that."

+++++ Author's Notes.

SK: RE: Insinuations.

I promise, it wasn't aimed directly at you. The first feedback I got on this story from a number of sources was, "Wow, you just hate men don't you?" In today's hyper-partisan world where everything absolutely has to be black or white and anything that even hints of nuance is automatically ascribed the least charitable interpretation I find myself having to explain the decimals between zero and one that I see the world consisting of. That particular note was directed broadly at the entire audience, current and potential, that they would be best served leaving their political pitchforks and torches at the door. I don't hate Asuka, I just don't want to write about her as much as it would take. I don't hate men, especially since I'm male myself and (while aware that I'm a gigantic sack of shit at times) know that men often catch the short end of the stick on things because it's either politically convenient or narratively convenient. Promise, if I was pointing a statement at someone in particular you'd see the same thing I used to preface this statement. We're cool.