Alexis turned the key in the lock of her Lenox Hill Townhouse with a little trepidation. It had been years, nearly seven to be exact, since she had last been alone with Julian. Years ago, she hadn't been ready and he had respected that. As she led Julian inside, she realized she wasn't ready to let him become the one who got away twice.

"This is nice," Julian said as he looked around the open living room and then peered out the window to the lighted view of Park Avenue below.

"It is convenient. I am able to walk to work so, even when I'm in the middle of a huge case, at least I get a few moments of exercise every day," Alexis said.

Julian nodded silently.

Years ago, she and Julian had been able to do silence. In fact, he had once told her that her ability to just be was a welcome change from his prior girlfriend, Cheryl, a woman who had attended Harvard with him. However, as they stood in her living room, on the rug her cousin Stefan had sent from Milan, Alexis was aware that years had passed. The silence felt more lonely than comfortable and peaceful. "The biggest selling point of this place was the kitchen. It's lost on me, beyond the aesthetics, but you might appreciate the appliances and the counter space.

Julian smiled. "Is that your subtle way of suggesting I should cook for you?" he asked.

Alexis felt her cheeks grow warm. "I'm afraid my cooking skills have not improved any since sophomore year. On the other hand, your cooking skills might be significantly impeded by the lack of anything edible, besides coffee or popcorn, in my kitchen."

Julian chuckled. "I suppose some things never change. Fortunately, I know of a great market on Madison that is open until nine. I'll make a grocery run and give you a chance to check in."

"Julian," Alexis started to say.

"Unless that is one of the things which actually has changed?" Julian asked.

Alexis heard the small drop of hope in his voice. He was realistic he knew it would be difficult, if not impossible, her to extricate herself from the Cassadines. "No, not really," she admitted quietly.

Julian didn't meet her eyes as he buttoned his wool coat. "I didn't expect it had. I would ask you to extend my love to Cousin Stefan but I won't put you in danger that way. Everything I have done has been to avoid that so I'll hardly change all of that now," he said. Then with one final glance and some adjustment of his scarf he walked out the door.

Alexis sunk down to the sofa and reassured herself that he would indeed come back. Then when her pulse and breathing had nearly returned to normal, she picked up the extension and dialed a familiar number.

XXXXXXXX

As he filled a basket with potatoes, eggs, cheddar cheese, butter, chives, and bacon Julian Jerome realized he was treading on dangerous ground in several senses. Most obviously he was a bit exposed and vulnerable in Zacchara territory. Tensions between the two families had been escalating over the past year and Julian had little hope of any sustaining truce. The mob tension set the tone for his second problem-his love for Alexis.

Intellectually, he knew that any relationship with Alexis was futile at best. He could go back to her townhouse, fix her a proper Irish Omelet, and ensure that one night she might actually eat a proper dinner. It could be a nice, albeit unfulfilling, evening he supposed. Selfishly he wanted so much more. Yet, no matter how much he might want nothing more than to make love to Alexis he knew he could not. Years ago, he had held back because he knew she was not ready for an intimate relationship, and tonight he would hold back because she was a woman deserving of much more than a one night stand. He was a man unable to offer anything more. He couldn't, and wouldn't, risk Alexis being caught in the crossfire of his world.