Julian had intended to leave after dinner. He had decided earlier that they could share no more than a meal. He had decided earlier that Alexis was worthy of much more than a one night stand. Unfortunately, that was all he had to offer. Therein lay the conflict.

When he had returned from the market and set to work in her kitchen he had held firmly to his original resolve. Yet, as they sat by the fire eating and talking their souls opened and touched and that resolve faded. That led him to wash dishes and even agree to a night cap by the fire. He would leave once he had finished his Irish Coffee. He really would!

XXXXXXXX

Alexis started to massage the back of Julian's neck. He had always carried his tension there and she was at a loss for words that might melt it away. Perhaps her touch could do what words could not.

"She always wanted a daughter," Julian said softly.

His words were disjointed enough Alexis wasn't sure they weren't a non sequitar. She presumed he was referring to his mother but there were other possibilities. There was his recurrent girlfriend, Cheryl Stansbury, aka Loretta Marie Crumholz, whom he had seemingly reconciled with after Anna Devane had been acquitted. There was also his half-sister, Olivia St. John, who had allegedly miscarried a child a few months before the attempt on her life.

"Do you mean your mother?" Alexis finally asked. It would hurt to know he was sitting with her and thinking of Cheryl but it would hurt even more to wonder later.

"Who else would I be referring to?" Julian asked.

Alexis struggled to take a deep breath. She so did not want to explain that she knew a lot more about Julian's life than he probably realized. "I was just confused for a minute. I know Olivia is your half-sister but somehow I wasn't thinking that I guess."

"My mother and Olivia never connected. I'm not sure Olivia even ever wanted that but I don't think that is what you're referring to. I suspect you're referring to the pictures in the NY Post from my trip to the Bahamas with Cheryl last November. I am sorry if you were hurt by those."

"Do you love Cheryl?"

"No, but I've known her since we were both freshmen at Harvard in 1973. I care about her and I felt somewhat responsible for how her relationship with Robert Scorpio ended. We both needed some time away, that's all that trip was. It wasn't a prelude to a proposal or anything silly like that."

"Was it a cover for business for your father?"

"Actually, it wasn't that either, Alexis."

"I was just asking. I know you have about as much free will as I do. I know someone else is pulling the strings. I know you're conflicted and I want you to know that I get that. I do."

"You might be the only one who could," Julian said.

Alexis heard the voice of a kindred spirit but she heard concern as well. She supposed that fit. "Do you ever want to just throw it all away and defect to Canada?" she asked.

Julian smiled. "That didn't work so well for my brother."

"You aren't your brother," Alexis said. She had offered those words before, to her cousin, Stefan. Evan Jerome and Stavros Cassadine had much in common. They had been eldest sons raised in a culture of wealth, power, and patrilineal primogeniture. They had also been arrogant, callous, and cruel, yet, ultimately, they had died young. Most days Alexis struggled to see that as a bad thing.

"No, I'm not, so, what are you really asking, Alexis?"

Alexis couldn't bring herself to answer him. It was all far too complicated and, honestly, they were both far too enmeshed in their oppressive families to ever take their own chances. Since her words failed her, she just brought her lips to his once again. Their kisses deepened as passion ignited. Moments later, their unclothed bodies moved as one on a blanket in front of the fireplace.

Alexis released a satisfied sigh as she laid her head on Julian's bare chest. For the first time in her life, at least in the moment, she was without regrets.

Julian cupped her chin and tilted it so their eyes met. "You are so beautiful," he whispered.

Alexis released another sigh and curled herself deeper into his embrace. In blissful silent stillness she let go and let herself focus only on the moment and their connection.