Sorry this chapter took so long. To make up for it here's a long TFS chapter. Reactions done by my friend ExiledDarkness. Please check out his stuff. And I'll try to get the next chapter out sooner. Please Enjoy.
The screen shows Hazel and Cinder flying and landing on a plain of bluegrass. Cinder had horns and a tail. Hazel turns to look at Cinder, his eyes filled with determination.
"This is my people's sacred battleground!" He says, throwing his cloak off. Cinder stood there nonplussed.
"We flew over an hour for this!?" Cinder cried, her expression in disbelief. "It looks the same as everywhere else on this god forsaken rock!"
Yang leaned over towards her sister. "It does look like everywhere else." Ruby nodded in agreement.
Hazel glared at the woman and huffs.
"Racist."
Ozpin chuckled into his mug at the sight of a pouty Hazel. 'It doesn't fit him.' Entertaining the thought of the enraged behemoth (whenever Ozpin was involved at least) pouting like a child amused him.
Cinder grins a bit and closes her eyes.
"Well, maybe so, but I can't quite be a racist
against a race that doesn't exist!"
She opens her eyes and her smile widen. "Like the Clofors. Dirty, money-grubbing Clofors. Tried to Clorf me right out of my money. Blew those little bastards up is what I did."
Almost everyone blinked at the statement. "I-I guess she's not wrong?" Jaune questioned hesitantly. Cinder snorted at what her other said. Wasn't her fault what her other said was the truth.
Hazel let out a roar and landed a chop on Cinder's neck. Cinder didn't seem to be phased and continued to smile.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know we were starting." She grabs Hazel's arm with a sadistic grin. "Here allow me." And with that, she has torn Hazel''s arm off. He howls in pain as he clutches where his arm used to be, falling to his knees. Cinder smirks and drops his arm to the ground.
"Looks like someone's going to be missing this!" She sang.
"No, not really," Hazel replied casually as he stood up. Cinder eyebrow raised as she watched him scream out again, a new arm growing back where the one she ripped out was.
"Ooh! He can grow his arm back?!" Nora exclaimed in surprise. Her eyes gained a malicious glint. "I wonder if he can fix his legs if we break them!" Ren wisely said nothing.
"Ooh, that looks like it hurts a lot." She comments, seeing Hazel's heavy breathing. "Are you okay?"
Some of the audience looked towards Yang subtly before returning their attention back to the screen. Yang, on the other hand, had the urge to punch half of the people in the room.
"I'm fine!" He growls.
"Good to know. Yoinks!" She rips off his arm again and Hazel screams in agony.
The screen cuts to a spaceship. Sun is in a pod with wire attached to him, looking very beat up.
Those who knew of Sun winced at how beat up he looked. "Jeez," Yang exclaimed, leaning away from the screen. "What happened to him?"
"Maybe he took asking Blake out too far?" Jaune joked. Weiss narrowed her eyes at him. "Sound familiar?" She said.
"No comment."
Mercury, Neptune, and very young Oscar watch the pod filling with liquid.
Nora leaps up and points at the screen. "Hey look! It's Cute Boy Oz! But younger!" Oscar just covers his burning face in his hands. 'This is worse than my aunt showing everyone my baby photos!'
Oscar speaks first.
"So, what exactly is this?"
"It's a healing tank," Mercury replied. "That'll bring the idiot back to full strength.
"Heh heh, the bubbles tingle." Sun thinks to himself. "Heh heh ow. It hurts to laugh." He laughs and winches in pain again and again.
"It'll take a while though" Mercury states. "This is the only other model the ship has. And it's kinda an old one."
"What happened with a newer model?" Neptune asked.
"Blew it the fuck up."
"What did it have an opinion?
"Eat me. Now both of you" Mercury turned to the duo. "Strip."
"How old is the Oscar in this universe?" Yang asked glancing at the Oscar in the theater
"I'm not seriously gonna fuck this kid and Neptue guy am I" Merucy said horrifed.
"Uhm…" Neptune responded, looking very uncomfortable.
"I got body armor for you" The silver-haired man pulled out the armor.
"Less awkward," The brunette said relieved.
"Oh thank god." Mercury said relieved.
"Yes I'm glad nothing too vulgar came out of that." Ozpin agreed.
The scene cut to Oscar and Neptune putting on the armor. Neptune while putting on his armor turned to the boy.
"You know Oscar it just occurred to me."
"Yeah Nep?"
"We're still on Namek."
"What do you mean?" The boy asked
"Well, it feels like we've been here for like a year."
"But we've only been here for six days."
"I KNOW RIGHT?!" Neptune cried
Neptune looks down at his armor.
"Hey, by the way, don't I look like that one guy who Mercury landed with back on earth. What was his name?" Neptune turns to Mercury. "Hey Merc? What was that one guy's name?" Mercury doesn't answer at first and just stares at Neptune.
"Merc? Merc? Merc? Merc? Merc? Merc?"
Mercury grimaces as Neptune's voice and face started to remind him of an annoying partner he killed. Oobleck. He turns around and mutters," Goddamn it, Oobleck."
"I have to say, I think I'd kill him too if he were that annoying." Everyone agreed. Ozpin sighed as he took a sip of his drink. He, too, contemplated it every now and then.
"Oh right. Good old, Goddamnit Oobleck.
"Nep, We should probably focus on finding a way to use the dragon balls," Oscar said trying to get back on track.
"Well there is always Little Bow Girl, but…" Neptune trailed off.
"But what?"
"That's a really long flight."
"Really?" Weiss said, unimpressed. "That's your excuse?"
"Well, it could be pretty far?"
"Nep…"
"Plus I think I sense some hostility."
"Neptune!"
"Fine, fine I'll go get her." He throws up his hands in defeat "Enjoy your company."
.
"Try not to get yourself killed, God forbid you to make me happy," Mercury said to Neptune's retreating form.
"You seem to be in a bad mood."Maybe you should take a nap?" Oscar suggested to the older man.
"Maybe you should- eh actually, sounds good," Mercury said. He hadn't really slept since getting on this shithole of a rock. "You keep guard outside. Make sure not to go far, I like my meat shields in bullet blocking distance.
"I thought bullets couldn't hurt you?"
"Shaddup, I'm sleepy."
Ren nodded. Sleep was important and he didn't get enough sometimes.
The scene goes back to Sun still laughing and wincing in pain before he heard Glynda talking in his head telepathically.
"Sun! Sun, are you there?
"Oh, hey, Queen Goodwitch" Sun greeted his mentor. I'm in a healing pod."
"I noticed, I wasn't paying attention. What the hell?! She questioned the healing blonde quite frustrated.
Sun then filled Glynda on what happened. Mentioning the fact that he had to fight a really horny guy.
"Oh myyyyy."
'Pfffft'
The more 'immature' members of the audience spat out their drinks at the very suggestive response. "Hahaha, it hurts to breathe!" A certain yellow haired individual wheezed.
"Who's that Queen Goodwitch?" Sun asked.
"It's George Takei. Somehow we made this a three-way."
"OH MYYYY!"
"HA!"
"OH, it hurts! Make it stop!"
"CALL! THREE-WAY CALL" Glynda quickly clarified gritting her teeth in anger.
The scene cuts back to Hazel screaming in pain. A pile of limbs is on the ground next to Cinder, who continues to smile at a heavily breathing Hazel.
Ruby turned a little green at the scene while Yang whistled. 'Gotta hand it to them. That's a lot of arms!"
Jaune looked away to hide his smile as most of everyone else groaned. What? He thought that one was funny!
"How many arms do you think we're up to?" She asks him. Hazel doesn't answer or look at Cinder, still breathing heavily. "I think we're up to 24."
Hazel blasts her with a beam of energy..
"Tell me." Cinder begins as the dust settles from Hazel's attack, not seeming to take any damage. Have you ever heard of the planet Black?
"N-no?"
"Funny, Because I expected to hear the same from the next person when I ask them about Namek." She punches Hazel in the nose breaking it. "Oh was that your nose?" The amber-eyed woman mockingly asked."That was your noise!" Her grin widens. "I've had the worst time you know. It's not often I dirty my hands with this kind of grunt work. There is a certain satisfaction I get doing it myself."
Cinder agreed with herself. Salem also nodded her head at the line.
Cinder and Hazel began to laugh together. "It is kinda funny isn't it?"
"I'm laughing at something else" Hazel laughed.
"What?" She asked, still laughing.
"The earthlings have the password."
Cinder stop laughing. "What?"
"Remember the little girl with a bow you passed on the way to Ports? She's on her way to the earthlings with the password. By now, she's probably already there and they're about to summon the dragon."
Hazel laughs as Cinder's rage grows, veins popping up in her head. "Yeah, if I had to guess your biggest mistake, it would be not stopping her!" Hazel pauses and gives Cinder a shitting eating grin. "That or your stupid hair."
"I WILL FUCKING MURDER YOU!" She screamed.
"Whatever."
Cinder flew off leaving Hazel, checking her scouter to contract her soldiers. "Why aren't the ASBNs picking up! Oh, they're dead. WHY ARE THEY DEAD?!" She screamed in a rage.
The next scene shows Trifca flying to where the earthling was.
"STOP RIGHT THERE Namekian SCUM!" A voice called out to her. She screamed in terror. Neptune laughed at her reaction. "You should see the look on your face! Nah it's me Nep." started to scream louder. Nep chuckled at her reaction. "You're killing me, Little Bow Girl. Come on. We have to summon the dragon." Trifa continues to scream, much to Neptune's confusion.
Blake eyes widen at the sight of Trifa, one of the white fang members that tried to kill her and Sun.
"I wonder why she's screaming" Nora ponder breaking Blake out of her thoughts.
"Be funny it was because she found Neptune annoying." Jaune said, laughing a bit to himself.
The scene cut again to Oscar sitting around bored. He looks up to see Neptune and flies up to him.
"Wow, you made it back in no time flat!" He smiled at the return of his friends.
"Yeah, little bow girl was on her way back from guru's, She said she can help summon the Dragon!" Neptune said with a grin.
"Great! I'll get Mercury and-
"No, No, No!" Neptune cut off Oscar. That's the best part! We're not gonna tell Mercury!
"That sounds like a very dangerous plan that could easily backfire."
"Well, we can either take the wishes for ourselves or give em for Mercury. Neptune said. "And I'm not gonna lie. I don't think he's dedicated to Team three-star at all."
"Nep, I've been meaning to tell you. That name doesn't sound really good." Oscar told his older friend honestly.
Why didn't you tell me sooner! I thought it was stupid from the beginning, but nobody said anything!"
"Let's just summon the Dragon and go home," Oscar said exhausted.
"Yeah, fine whatever," Neptune grumbled.
The scene cuts to Mercury muttering in his sleep.
"First immortality. Then the bitches."
Select audience members except for Ozpin nodded. Sounds like a good plan. But Ozpin knew the truth.
As he slept the trio took the dragon balls and flew off.
"We did it, for real this time!' Neptune cheered. Now we just can have Little Bow Girl summon the dragon, and we can finally have our wish!
"Hey, is that Cinder?" Oscar asked, sensing the huge power coming towards them!
"...No." Neptune denied, his smile wiped off his face.
"I think that's Cinder"
"No, it's not!"
"Yeah, that's definitely Cinder."
Neptune went quiet for a second before screaming at Trifa:" SUMMON IT, SUMMON IT,
SUMMON IT! SUMMON IT!" Trifa in her native tongue called out for the dragon.
"Rise, Grand Porunga, and grant our wish!"
"Dammit, stop speaking gibberish and summon the-!
A bright light came from the balls and the skies darkened. The trio looked up and saw the dragon Porunga, in all his bluff glory.
"Holy crap, your dragon's on steroids," Neptune said gawking at Porunga.
In the same language that Trifa spoke Porguna started to speak.
"I am Porunga, Dragon of dreams, and I…" Pongurna stopped and looked at Neptune before turning to Trifa." Why is there an Albino Nakemkain amongst you?" The dragon asked. "I thought they were wiped out in the purge!"
"There was a purge?!" Half the audience yelled?
Blake's eyes twitched along with her Faunus appendages. "Just for the color of their skin?"
"Actually, they are earthlings," Trifa answered the dragon.
"God, they're ugly"
"And annoying," Trifa added thinking of Neptune.
Ruby huffed. "Well she's mean!"
Yang patted her shoulder. "There, there, Rubes."
"I think you look great!" Jaune said as Ruby's face turned her namesake color. Everyone looked at him. "What?" He asked, confused.
"Whatever. Let's get this over with. I will grant you any three wishes."
"All right, We can finally get our wishes!" Neptune said with a smile.
"The dragon says he'll give you three" Trifa relayed.
"Wait a minute, we get three wishes? That's awesome!" Neptune grinned. I wanna three foot_
"Stop screwing around and wish these idiots off my planet!" Glynda yelled in Neptune's mind.
"Holy crap, I can hear a voice in my head!" The brunette cried out in shock.
"Is it telling you my name is Trifa?" The Nakmian asked.
"Hush little bow girl. The voice speaks to me."
"Heh" Jaune says, "that reminds me of that episode of SquareBob SpongePants where they had that magic shell that knew all.'
"This is Queen Goodwitch. Wish these guys back before I kill myself."
"Wait, Can gods kill themselves?" Neptune ponders
"I'M ABOUT TO TRY!" Glynda bellowed out.
'Glynda, Glynda, Glynda. You can deal with all my paperwork, Port, Bartholomew, and I but three men want to make you end it all? For shame Glynda, for shame…'
"Alight little bow girl! Use our first wish to bring back our friends to life!" Neptune yelled out.
"Pongura can only bring back one person at a time."
"Oh" Neptune responded disappointed. "Queen Goodwitch she says, that it can only bring back one at a-
"I heard her!"
"Which means only one of us to get left behind," Ren said with a frown.
"Just wish me back," Jaune said.
"I guess we can ask Cardin what he thinks," Glynda suggested. Cardin opens his mouth to speak his mind.
"NO ONE CARES WHAT CARDIN THINKS!" Jaune yelled out.
"Wait, I'm dead?!" Jaune exclaims seeing the halo over his head. Ren frowns thinking the same.
"Forget that! Look how you're actually sticking up for yourself for once!" Yang laughs.
"Eww Jaune's green too!" Nora shouts. Ruby laughs and says, "it's like he's always sick or something!"
"Listen, if you wish me back, Then that wishes Ozpin's wrinkled ass back. Then you can use those Dragon balls to wish these morons back."
"Which leaves us with two more wishes!" Neptune pointed out excitedly. "Let's wish him to Namek!"
"Wait, what?" asked Oscar confused
"Wait for what?" Jaune did the same.
"Wait a minute! How are Jaune and Ozpin's life entwined? I thought it was Oscar and Ozpin?"
Everyone looks at Ozpin and Oscar. Oscar looks anywhere but at them while Ozpin gives them a deadpan stare and sips his drink.
"Little bow girl! Wish our friend Jaune back to life, and then with our next wish bring him to namek!
"Hold a minute that is terrible, don't do that that is a terrible idea!" Jaune said in a panic, but it was done late. He wasn't dead on Glynda's planet anymore. He was on Namek. Jaune screams in frustration at Neptune's stupidity.
"Wow, this version of Neptune is really stupid" Jaune says shaking his head.
Weiss nods and smirks. "Reminds me a little of you back at Beacon."
The children laughed while Jaune sank into his seat, depressed.
"He is on Namek." Trifa deadpanned.
"Wait, where he?" Oscar asked.
"On Namek," Trifa repeated.
"YOU DUMBASS!" Jaune screamed from the distance.
"Jeez Vomit Boy, you got a set of lungs on you" laughed Yang.
"Oh, you mean like you do when Bush your hair when you think your alone?" Jaune retorted.
Yang blush heavily while Nora gives Jaune a high five.
"Why didn't it bring him here?" Neptune asked as well.
"You must be specific"
"Oh, so it's sort of monkey's paw. You have to be careful with the hubris of your wishes."
Oscar said, letting his nerd show.
"NERDDDDDDDDD!" Jaune screams from a distance again.
"For shame Oscar, for shame!" Nora shouts. Oscar glares back. "That's not me!"
Ruby and Jaune look at each other, the same thought going through their heads. 'You mean you'd rather be stupid?'
The scene cuts back to Mercury sleeping near Sun's pod.
"I have to pee!" Mercury shouts out, waking from his nap. He runs to the bathroom on the ship but stops when he sees the dark sky out the ship's window.
"Jesus, I overslept. It's already night." For the first time, I got here…. On a planet with three suns." Mercury thinks to himself as an image of a clock rings in his head.
"Just give it a minute. He's almost got it!"
"OH YOU MOTHER FUCKERS!" Mercury screams in anger.
"OW, MY EARS! Jaune cried in pain."
"Swear jar!" Ruby shouts. Everyone looks at her with a deadpan expression. "What?"
Ren is the first to speak. "Ruby, you're almost 18. It's time to let the swear jar go—"
"Never! I need to get money from at least all of you once! I haven't gotten it from you or Nora yet!"
Everyone looks at Nora. She shrugs. "I don't see the point."
"So what do we do the third wish?" Oscar asked the group.
Well, if nobody else has any idea, I want my three-foot-"
"HI! WHAT'S UP, GUYS?!" Mercury yelled cutting off Neptune, a vein in his head.
"I'm never gonna get my hoagie." The blue-haired man said sadly.
The boys feel Neptune's pain while the girls except for Nora roll their eyes. It's a three foot hoagie, why wouldn't they want one!
"SO what're you doing?!" Mercury yelled out.
"What am I doing?" Oscar asked back scared of his mind.
"What're doing?"
"Nothing much.
"Thwarting my plans?"
"Thwarting your plans?"
"ARE YOU?!"
"Yes," Oscar answered bluntly. Mercury was taken aback before gritting his teeth in anger."
"I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU!"
Everyone whose name is not Ozpin starts laughing. Ozpin just chuckles. He did not snort into his cup of coffee no matter what anyone says.
He walks up to Trifa and grabs her by the scrubs of her dress. "But first, you are going to give me my wish for Immortality or I will snap her neck.
"Wait!" Neptune pleaded. She is the only one who can ask the dragon to grant wishes!"
"And I got nothing to lose!"
"Whatever," Trifa responded.
"Good answer! Now get to wishing!"
The scene cuts to Port with his really fat ass sitting on a chair.
"I feel that they have finally summoned the dragon" He mused. Would be a real dick move to die right." Port then decides to be a total punk bitch and stop his own heart.
Everyone blinks at Port being such a punk ass bitch while Ozpin just sighs. "Port would do that."
Trifa is in the middle of granting Mercury's wish but the dragon disappears and the dragon balls turn into stone.
"Is that normal?" Mercury asked.
"No. It's dead which means Port is, too." Trifa said, not seem to be really sad about that fact.
"I'm so sorry for your loss" Neptune gives his condolences.
"Someone has to be." Trifa mutter.
All the ex-students gave a moment of silence for Port. He may have been a blow hard as a professor but he was pretty cool in real life. Still went out like a punk ass bitch though.
"That doesn't matter!" Mercury shouted. "Don't you understand?! If it didn't grant my wish then I'm not immortal! And now Cinder is going to-! Mercury stutters a bit. Neptune turns around and begins to whimper.
"Oh nooo, don't mind me. By means" Cinder chuckles. "Give me some ideas."
"Does anyone else see the growing dark spot on Mercury's leg? No one? I guess it's just me then."
END!