Plans were made, but despite Alisha's eagerness to begin, they spent the day resting. Or rather, something of the like. Margaret and Velvet taught her the basics of cooking, only to find an eager student quite capable of following instructions. Not to mention that many of the human members on staff first learned about hellions when encountering her, though no one seemed to be horrified like she expected. Regardless, for women used to hours long marches or battle, a day spent preparing food was restful indeed.

Only in the evening, once the tavern began to truly fill, did they all gather below in the Bloodwings' teleportation chamber. Alisha remained unaware of the shadow guild's presence, too awed by all the new experiences and sights to notice anything odd. Velvet and Laphicet stood in front of the three women they would send into danger. The older Crowe's gaze went from one to the other as she instructed them curtly: "This is a test more than anything else. The hellions on Hexen Isle are among the most powerful in the world. We don't expect you to pull it off." She was well aware of Alisha's tail drooping, noticed the other signs of disappointment among all three. It made her smile. "Maybe you'll surprise us."

Margaret perked up first and nodded, but Velvet simply carried on: "You have a week to clear the island proper. Kill everything, there were no humans there and any seraphim would be dragons by now. Laphi or I will check on you periodically."

Her tone was calm; no one reacted, but they all heard her. Laphicet took over from his sister at this point, just as calm but with narrowed eyes: "And we trust that you're responsible enough not to get yourself killed. You are not to leave the island unless you give up, we will bring provisions and such as we visit."

No one complained or made any comments, so they were led to one specific teleportation arte which Laphicet opened for them. They all stepped through and the siblings followed. Within a minute, they were there.

Once they stood upon the thorny sand however, all three women shuddered. Human and seraph and hellion alike. They beheld how stone had grown roots and turned into unnatural forms, how plants grew upside down from the ground or in mid-air. The very beach they stood on was not the usual colour of sand but reds and blues and blacks. Curtains of darkness hung thick over the entire area, turning it to night despite morning's sun shining above, unseen by the five beneath.

Symonne shuddered. "Brr, how can there be so much Malevolence in one place without anyone noticing? Did it float that far away from Glenwood?"

Margaret turned her attention to her partner at that point, a little worried. "Will you be alright?"

In turn, the seraph girl nodded and gave a shaky thumbs-up. "I'm fine. My vessel is pure and my will is strong, I can bear this."

Alisha had since turned to watch the endlessly expanding sea in awe, so no one noticed how Velvet's and Laphicet's eyes turned to the island's distant center. It was visible from where they stood, risen from the ground on a gently sloping hill of black stone. On this hill, so stark white that they almost shone against the everpresent Malevolence, were bones. Huge bones and many, still lying as the creature had fallen a thousand years past. A dragon, felled long ago and put to rest. Both siblings knew the history behind it, but neither said anything.

Moments passed and eventually, Velvet took Alisha aside while Laphicet quietly spoke with Symonne and Margaret. "Keep an eye on Alisha," he told them softly behind a screen of air to ward off eavesdropping foxes, "she's stronger than when she was human, but it won't be enough. She can't armatise like the two of you." They all remembered how Alisha needed an explanation of why armour was unnecessary for her. It had included a bent dagger and the slightest nick in her skin. Both girls agreed with him, knowing how new all of this was for their newest ally.

The blonde in question was currently in the middle of a breathing exercise, courtesy of Velvet. Malevolence surrounding her broke off in thick streamers that followed her breath; darkness flowed into her mouth and nose, into the open maw that was her tail. It was slimy, hot, cold, raspy, silky, thin, thick, and a thousand sensations more as she devoured it. "It feels odd," Alisha told her tutor of sorts after a few more breaths. "I can feel it settling."

"I'm not surprised, there is a lot of it here. You're doing well."

"Thank you."

This continued for another minute before Velvet deemed it enough. Brother and sister gave the group one last look and bid them goodbye, then left through the same portal they arrived from. It glimmered softly on the ground, surrounded by their main camp to be; they had yet to set up. The three were left in a somewhat sheltered position between a bright red dune and the sea, though even the water was black around Hexen Isle's shore. Mighty pillars of stone reached skyward in the distance, vaguely visible through haze darkness.

The three women glanced between each other, unsure what to say. Alisha was the first to speak, eyes on Symonne: "You implied you were here before?"

Margaret averted her gaze, unnoticed by the other two. Her partner simply nodded, but did not elaborate much. "In a manner of speaking. It's not a nice place to be," she deflected.

Some of Margaret's old memories were tied to this place. They were not good, not at all. Malakhim brought to be turned into dragons, to be held as cattle. To produce Malevolence forever in an attempt to sustain Innominat indefinitely. However, she expelled all the bad thoughts with her next breath; the past was the past, but she needed to focus on the present now, which was why she roused the other two: "Shall we get going? We can build our camp after getting the lay of the land."

"Sure."

"Very well."

With her companions in agreement, they found their first conundrum; how should the three form up? Margaret pondered what she knew of their capabilities, frowning ever so slightly for a moment. Then she pointed. "Let's try an inverted speartip for now. Alisha and I in front, you in the back, Symonne. You're our only active caster and yes, I know you can hold your own in melee. But right now we need a stable formation, even if we break it later."

Symonne mulled this over, her commentary already expected and disputed preemptively. Alisha nodded first. "This sounds workable," the therion agreed. She focussed for a moment and formed a black spear out of Malevolence, the first technique Velvet taught her. Clothes she had yet to grasp, but a weapon was easier. A few test swings were made and Alisha nodded to herself, then aligned with Margaret. Symonne followed without any complaint, forming a rough triangle with the other girls.

They progressed slowly, eyeing the ground and expecting an ambush on every step. Symonne's sense for hellions was useless here, where Malevolence surrounded them on all sides. Alisha was stepping lightly though, an odd look on her face. "I feel so much lighter," she told the other two. "I understand that I am now so much more durable than I used to be, but I am quite used to wearing armour."

Margaret understood, though it was Symonne who answered idly: "It's just not worth the hassle of putting on and carrying the weight. Unless mundane gear is heavily enchanted, most hellions and humans with a bonded seraph have a natural durability to match or greater. Not to mention the strength to go through such durability. Any regular armour would slow you down and any normal weapon breaks without leaving more than a scratch."

"So I saw." Alisha let out a soft sigh, but remained alert even through their conversation. "I feel I will still need some more time to get used to this. And this." She flicked her tail a little for emphasis, faintly rustling her shirt. Right, her tail; Margaret found that cute and creepy at the same time, both for what it truly was and because it had just appeared on a person she remembered not having any such thing.

Symonne did not seem as confounded by it though, eyeing the appendage curiously. "Can I pet it?"

"I think not." Alisha threw the seraph a careful look, her tail stiffening ever so slightly. "Even the fact we barely know each other aside, I have yet to train the reflex to bite out of me. So no."

The shorter girl nodded and made a quiet noise. "Aha, so you're one of those." Though her comment was not quiet enough to escape Alisha.

"One of what, exactly?"

"A prude."

Margaret may have had to giggle a little about the flat look Alisha threw behind them, but she reined herself in quickly. "Enough teasing," the younger blonde admonished after a moment and cast her gaze around again. "Symonne didn't mean any insult and we need to watch out."

Whatever Alisha was about to say, her words became a sigh and she nodded to Margaret. "Very well." Symonne refrained from commenting, but the lack of a retort was an answer in itself. Once silence reigned again, the three left the sand and treaded on more solid ground, toward the hills separating beach and island. A small passage led right through its center, a few metres wide and dozens long.

Then a tree appeared amidst the fog and made them stop. Between the dark blue stone walls, the creature stood. Not made of wood, but rather a more sinister mark. Where any normal tree had bark, this one bore scales. Another creature wailed far away, but the colossus stood silent. It's trunk wavered and bent, a spine unlike any real tree, on legs that were roots yet free. Two gaping maws opened across its length, but snapped shut with titanic strength.

Three dozen glimmering branches swayed in still air and the creature glared at them out of no less than nine eyes, arrayed in a circle. Some had slitted pupils, others round ones. Alisha took a step back in visible revulsion, but no more than that. Margaret and Symonne rather studied the hellion as it began to hobble forward; its root-legs were many, but short. Its approach was slow if determined and after a moment, Symonne called out: "It's looking at you, Alisha. Might be sensing you're a hellion."

"Marvelous," the older blonde deadpanned; The other two silently agreed with their foxy friend's lack of enthusiasm. Margaret drew her blade and Symonne materialised a scepter; Alisha's spear was already raised.

They watched the creature lumber closer, ever so slowly and at a pace they could outwalk if they so wanted. Margaret took a deep breath and exchanged nods with Alisha. "Unfortunately for this beast," she stated grimly, "it will not be fed today. Ready?"

"Yes."

"Ready."

A dark blue shine illuminated the front line from behind as Symonne began to focus her mana. Alisha took the first step forward and remained ahead as Margaret charged, both of them rushing the wary tree. They hammered into it a moment later to a surprised hiss as Alisha's spear took its lowermost eye. It leaned backward immediately, back and back and back until its crown touched the ground, at which point Margaret darted past; she had intended to cut off two of its spindly legs, but the blade bounced. Her eyes widened and she threw herself aside to evade a half-dozen wooden spikes, then turned to keep facing her opponent.

The tree snapped forward and hurled Alisha off, completely ignoring the storm of ice Symonne unleashed like a summer breeze. The flying therion slammed into a wall and left an indentation, crumbling rock all around her as she fell to the ground; moments passed as if in trance, but then she rose again.

Margaret charged at the creature from behind, but it was a tree; it had no vulnerable backside, as she learned a moment later. What was worse, the thing simply bent its trunk and slammed it into the retreating girl, throwing her a dozen metres; Margaret landed hard on her back, all air pushed out of her lungs. She saw only black for a moment, but then her swimming vision focussed and she quickly got up. Her bruised side continued to throb, but it was fading already; the throbbing in her arm was not. She looked down, tried to move it, and hissed. Broken.

A shout drew her attention back to the fight, where the tree was busy hammering Alisha into the ground with its scaly hide. Stone and earth flew under the force of each blow and then it suddenly changed direction, began to hammer at another spot where nothing was. Symonne darted in and grabbed Alisha, pulled the moaning girl away from their opponent.

Margaret held her arm still and waved with the good one. "R-Retreat," she called shakily, but the word felt felt bitter on her tongue.

They had fought for twenty seconds, if even that much. Maybe ten. The only one not yet maimed was Symonne, who hefted Alisha onto her shoulders and dashed away; Margaret strode after them, unwilling to run and rattle her arm.

. .

. .

Alisha was in shock. Not from pain, but from anguish. They had arrived on Hexen Isle to learn to work together, for her to get accustomed to her new powers. Only for the first opponent they met to destroy them in seconds.

She lay on the ground and breathed while Symonne put her fractured ribs back together; Margaret cradled her recently healed arm and grimaced, but Alisha could tell the younger girl was thinking. Time passed and in the end, the younger blonde sighed. "We will have to try again," she ground out, "this time with another opponent. Perhaps the tree was but a fluke."

The other girl was grasping at straws and they all knew it, but nobody said so; Alisha wanted it to be true, too. She felt so weak once again, as if nothing had changed after all. The thought opened a deep pit in Alisha's stomach, one she did not want to even consider. She blinked up at Margaret and nodded. "Once I am ready, we can go."

Speaking no longer hurt, but Symonne was panting at this point. She had brushed up on healing artes and they were useful, but she needed a lot of mana to cast them at the strength they needed. Another few minutes passed until the seraph girl leaned back with a sigh. "Alright, done."

Alisha got up and gingerly tested her range of movement, nodding her thanks at Symonne. "All good, thank you very much." The other woman just waved it off and caught her breath, then they headed out again, this time around the tree to find another hellion..

And were soundly defeated again.

And again.

And again.

Hours passed as a routine established itself; the three found an opponent, managed to attack it swiftly, then were completely crushed when said opponent fought back.

In the evening, or what they felt was the evening, they surrounded the campfire quietly. Alisha's insides were burning as Malevolence surged through barely healed flesh. Symonne's head rested on Margaret's shoulder, the seraph too tired to replace her top or heal the thin, bluish lines running over her entire upper body. Alisha raised no complaints with Symonne's partial nudity, as it was just them and the girl gave everything she had putting human and hellion back together a dozen times.

Deep down, Alisha wondered. This place was horrible in all aspects; even the thick Malevolence she devoured near constantly did nothing to help. There was so much of it and the hellions were so malformed, she wondered if Sorey could cleanse this. If the silver flame could burn this away. She did not know. This thought made her wonder how Sorey would treat an opponent he could not cleanse? He definitely could not defeat these creatures, that much she knew; not now, probably not ever. And they told Alisha she might be that powerful in a decade, the thought alone was ludicrous.

In the end, she could do nothing. Just like before. She was meaningless.

A faint golden shine from next to her drew Alisha's gaze, but she did no more than move her eyes. Margaret barely turned her head and Symonne's eyes fluttered open; they beheld Velvet's arrival a moment later, the smell of warm food wafting around her. It woke them up a bit and Alisha's stomach growled for attention. She felt so empty, just wanted to fill it.

Velvet made to speak, but remained silent after getting her first look at the three beaten girls. She took in Alisha's partly torn-out fur, Margaret's dull look, and Symonne's general state, her smile dropping away. "Rough day, I see. Here, eat, it'll help." She methodically distributed plates of food and silverware, then sat with them as they began to eat. Alisha had to stop herself from just slamming her face into the food like a pig, so hungry was she. She kept inhaling Malevolence without even noticing.

No one spoke, all of them defeated. Velvet's gaze wandered between them and once they were done, with only Alisha taking seconds, she sighed. "Do you want to stop?"

Alisha's shoulders slumped even though she expected the question. Symonne frowned where she sat, but said nothing. It was for the best to retreat here, the therion knew; they could do nothing.

"No."

She looked up, as did Symonne. Margaret had spoken, all blankness gone from her expression. She held Velvet's gaze calmly, absently caressing a scar on her wrist; one beast's fang almost took the hand off earlier. Nothing else was said, the fire's crackling unbearably loud in this silence.

Then something snarled in the dark and all four women rose. A mix of wolf and plant and beast charged out of the darkness, one of the monsters they fought before. Alisha knew it must have followed their tracks, it had found them and they would die now.

Except they did not.

Velvet was already in front before Alisha got to her feet; they all scrambled up and watched the grotesque monster halt as a crimson claw closed around its forward snout. Shadows ran over its silhouette, the fire illuminating several other drooling maws hanging open.

All was still for a single heartbeat, the monster just as surprised as the girls. Then Velvet squeezed and a sickening crack rang out; the beast began to thrash, but this time it was not the predator; Velvet just raised an eyebrow and searing lines of red shot from her fingertips, running through the monster. It was cut apart without any resistance, a howl dying in its many throats.

Alisha could only watch in awe and dark envy; she saw the pieces fall and be devoured by Velvet's hand. Each one was drawn in slowly, to more crunches and wet tearing noises. They all heard, they all saw, they all watched. Alisha wanted this. Velvet had done it so effortlessly, as if it were nothing; yet Alisha was still feeling so many minor wounds all over her body, slowly closing from the Malevolence she ingested.

They kept watching in a daze. A beast that they could hardly scratch, which could have rent any of them asunder with a casual flick of one of its seven paws. Broken in an instant. Once it was done, Velvet sighed for some reason and settled back down at the fire. Her claw returned to being a hand and she motioned for the others to sit as well. They did. The silence was almost deafening now, even the hellions were still. Just like before.

Minutes passed.

Symonne had averted her gaze and was looking at no one; Alisha's shoulders were slumped. Margaret had said they would stay, but there was nothing they could do. When she glanced at her fellow blonde however, the girl was not looking down. No, nothing like that. She was grinning. It was just the beginning of a grin, yes, but enough of one to catch Alisha's attention. Seeing she had been noticed, Margaret spoke: "I have an idea." Symonne looked up as well now, waiting expectantly. Velvet motioned for Margaret to speak and Alisha nodded, all eyes on the youngest of their group. The grin turned outright nasty now. "Thank you for reminding me, Velvet. Therions grow their power incredibly fast if they're fed well."

Velvet blinked at her, as did Alisha. The basic idea sounded fine, but this still had the issue of feeding Alisha something. Perhaps if they asked Velvet to kill one for her, but she doubted this would go over well with her benefactor.

Margaret seemed to think differently, though. She pointed at a curious Symonne. "So tomorrow? First thing in the morning, you and I will push our Armatus to its limits and kill one of them. We're going to feed it to Alisha," she continued while pointing at the younger therion, "and then Alisha will pick up the slack while we recover."

"And if that isn't enough to bridge the gap?"

Margaret was grinning at the seraph girl, determination burning in her eyes. "Then we repeat this until it is bridged."

Velvet began to grin as well, but Alisha was fidgeting. She did not know if she could live up to such expectations. Yet it was a chance; moreover, she could help. "I can utilise my greater form," she offered into the silence. "At first I figured it would not help here, but perhaps that will be enough."

Then something occurred to her and she turned more directly to Margaret. "But, say, I thought only a shepherd may armatise?"

The other girl gave her an odd look, likely surprised by the question. "Why would they?" she asked back. "A shepherd is not inherently special except for wielding the flames of purification." The younger blonde stated it so matter-of-factly that Alisha immediately felt silly for having believed it so easily. Then again...

"I recall Lailah describing it as a power of the shepherd. So far, I had no reason to doubt her." She held Margaret's gaze for a moment before averting her eyes. "So far. I have no reason to assume you are lying to me, either. Perhaps I am too trusting."

"You're too reverent of us seraphim," was what Symonne chimed in with. She stepped forward and poked Alisha's chest, making the tired girl lean back a little. "You put us on a pedestal and treat our words as gospel, but it's simply not true. We are people like all humans, we have our own thoughts, we can be wrong, and we lie." Each of these points hurt a little, but Alisha nodded sadly for as long as Symonne spoke. It made sense, but working this truth into her devotion to the kind seraphim was difficult; she had only heard legends of them until a few months prior. They were not what she expected when she did get to meet them, but Lailah in particular had been so radiant; Alisha asked no questions of such a figure, which she now realised was an error.

So she looked down at Symonne, bruised and still baring her chest to the world. Then to Margaret. "I know you are both tired, but could you demonstrate? Just for a moment, so I can know what you tell me is the truth?"

To Alisha's surprise, the shorter woman grinned up instead of being indignant like she feared. Symonne threw a glance to Margaret, who simply nodded and drew her secondary weapon; a dagger of truly beautiful design, ornamental in its creation. A little like the sword in the stone. Margaret noticed Alisha's calculating look and presented the weapon. "Armatisation is not a privilege, Alisha," she explained gently. "It is a special kind of power, achieved through understanding and trust. Friendship, if you want. And an arte, a powerful, complicated arte; this here is an armatisation catalyst, specifically keyed to water seraphim. Now behold."

Symonne had walked back to her partner while the latter spoke, now she turned into mist which flowed toward Margaret. The human girl's mouth opened to speak a word, a name, but Alisha did not hear. She merely saw the various symbols ignite in a dark ocean's blue. It quickly flowed through all of Margaret's body, taking Symonne along; blonde hair became black, a tanned complexion paled, light blue eyes turned lilac. For but a moment, Alisha beheld the etheral glow of an Armatus. Different than the three she saw Sorey use, wielding two wings of daggers instead of bow or gauntlets or greatsword. She bowed her head and the glow faded, both girls splitting apart.

Symonne stumbled and Margaret grabbed her arm, steadying her. "Whew," she commented, "this still feels weird."

The whoozy seraph rubbed her naked shoulders and Alisha took notice of the fact her wounds had vanished. She did not comment on that, though; Sorey and his partnered seraphim always seemed better off after armatising, too. "Thank you for indulging me."

"Think nothing of it." Margaret offered Alisha a weak smile, which the therion returned. Then she turned to the fourth woman present. "If even armatisation is not enough, we will return at this time tomorrow."

Velvet just nodded, but a smile was playing around her lips. "Very well. Good luck to the three of you, then. Eat plenty and get a good night's sleep. You will need it here."

Her advice was well-meaning, but it still felt belittling to Alisha. She stomped down on the impulse to be catty and watched her benefactor leave the same way she arrived earlier. Then her eyes strayed to her companions and the annoyance found another target. "Would you finally cover yourself up, Symonne?" she snapped, which surprised the seraph girl. Symonne opened her mouth, but paused when she saw Alisha's expression in the firelight. A new top formed out of mana and she wordlessly settled down at the fire again, with Margaret doing the same. Alisha nodded and offered a quiet "Thank you". Then she grew curious and sat as well, grabbing for another helping. "Is there any particular reason you do not care about being so... free... with your body?"

Alisha tried not to think the word slut or any variation thereof, but she had been brought up to think in such a way. It was still rude to call her companion that, even in the sanctity of her own mind.

Symonne simply shrugged, explaining herself without hesitation: "I don't think I've ever cared much. My body is my body and if someone wants to look at me, that's fine. I'm confident in my looks if nothing else. The important part might be that it's my body and I don't care what anyone else thinks I should do with it." She stared into the fire, head tilting this way and that while musing out loud. "But I guess I should clarify that looking is not the same as touching or the like. Anyone can look at me as much as they want. It's a compliment to me if I'm so enticing they can't keep their eyes off me. But I'm not going to let just anyone touch me."

"Could have fooled me," Margaret drawled in response, to which Symonne gave her a stink eye.

"...Laphi is an exception and you know it."

"I recall you making the same offer to me two days after we met."

"I was teasing and you know that, too."

"Teasing, yes. Certainly."

She could not help but chuckle about the banter, though neither of the other two seemed to take notice of it. Symonne was annoyed and Margaret kept deadpanning at her.

"I was teasing!"

"You are rather intense in your 'teasing', no?"

"It's a fine line and I walk it masterfully."

"More like stumbling, really."

At this point however, Alisha clapped her hands to distract them both. "Okay, that is enough. I believe that your definition of teasing may go a little further than that of most, but I also believe you only mean to tease and not... offer invitations." Her cheeks warmed a little with the euphemism, but Symonne nodded gratefully. Alisha wisely said nothing about Laphicet, though she was curious. However, it did not feel like something to ask a woman she barely knew. "I think I understand you a little better as well, so thank you for that. I still do not agree on baring myself like you can simply do in public, but I understand."

She was still thinking slut, but Symonne seemed happy enough.

Margaret changed the subject afterward, eyes on Alisha. "I was wondering, what is your greater form exactly? What do we have to plan with?" The therion indulged her readily.

"A fox with several tails like this one. I remember being on eye-level with Velvet when I entered that form before." Margaret nodded and thankfully did not ask for a demonstration in turn; Alisha would have to strip down for that, else she were to destroy the clothes she had been given. Then again, looking down at herself, they were so torn she almost beat Symonne in how indecent she looked. And she had just been given these clothes, too. Her sigh was barely audible, but the other two hardly missed it in the silence. Neither girl asked; rather, Margaret looked around and tapped her finger against the crystallised sand she sat on. "Symonne, do you know any artes to set traps with, or to set up alarms? Someone could hold watch, but all of us need the rest if possible."

"I do. Just need a few minutes to set them up."

"Please do, then."

The seraph girl hopped up and strolled away to start setting down gleaming patches of mana; they quickly became inert, connected by various glistening strings. Symonne even brought up a translucent dome around them. "In case something wants to fly in," she told the other two with a shadowy grin. Alisha and Margaret spent that time setting out their bedrolls, close to the fire. They only needed the two, seeing how Symonne could simply rest within her vessel. Alisha had to yawn and they quietly wished each other a good night.

Lying down under the stars was always a serene experience; today however, Alisha found, it was different. There were no stars, just a curtain of roiling darkness above and all around. Only the breeze told them of a world behind the inky black, bringing with it the scent of salt. She pondered and waited for sleep, listened to the firewood cracking once or twice.

"Alisha?"

Drawn from her thoughts by the quiet call, she turned her head, currently trying to lie on her belly. Margaret was eyeing her, face cast in shadow by the dying light. "It's cold. I know you aren't affected, but I am. And I can't afford to get sick and, well, is, is it okay if I slept next to you?"

It was indeed rather chilly, though Alisha suspected that her young friend was not just asking due to the warmth of huddling closer together; this place was not nice to be in. So she immediately rose and pushed her bedroll over, giving the younger girl a tender smile as she settled down again. Her own blanket was draped over her side and she handed the other end to Margaret, who put part of hers over it. It was warmer like this.

Then Symonne manifested above them with a disappointed noise. "Tsk tsk, what is this? You could have asked me, too!" She immediately floated under the blankets and hugged Margaret from the back. "There, three makes a proper pile." It may be a trick of the light, but Alisha thought she saw Margaret roll her eyes. But she did not complain and simply relaxed into her pillow.

So it was that the three came to rest and soon fell asleep, one after the other. Margaret's doubts pushed back for a few blessed hours. Alisha's worries lessened by the elbow lying warmly against her own. And Symonne, who remained cuddled against her partner, simply felt happy.