The Ancient Bruise

They were back in the rest house. No conversations.

Kira was carrying Cagalli in his arms. Athrun was following them together with Dearka, whose in-charge of Shinn.

Shinn's feet were numb. He couldn't move it, so he must be literally dragged towards the house.

Mir was sitting with Meyrin in the balcony. Meyrin was still crying.

"It… was…my…fault…" she sobbed. "If I …hadn't swim… towards her… she might not have gone away…"

"Stop that nonsense, you didn't do anything to her," Mir said.

Mir saw them coming. She ran towards them, very happy to see Cagalli who's almost asleep in Kira's arms.

"Oh my, how is she?"

Kira just nodded.

Then Mir looked at Shinn.

"It looks like you've had worse," she said as upon noticing his condition.

Lunamaria saw Shinn from the window. She wanted to go to the sea and check what happened but Yzak prevented her and said that she has to watch over Meyrin.

"Shinn!" Luna called out.

She ran outside to meet him.

Kira went towards the house, past Meyrin and Luna.

Yzak anticipated him in the hallway.

" You are such an idiot. Can't even watch over your sister," Yzak scorned.

Kira just looked straight ahead.

"We should take him to hospital," Luna said to Dearka.

"The two of them, I say," Dearka concluded.

"I'm okay," Shinn whispered. "Just a little tired."

Athrun stayed outside… at the balcony with Meyrin.

Meyrin crouched on her seat. Hid her swollen eyes. She was crying for feeling guilty, but there's more to those tears.

Mir said she'd assist Cagalli in changing up. Athrun told her that he wanted to have a talk with Kira, and Mir relayed the message.

An hour has passed and almost everyone's asleep.

Athrun was waiting for Kira in the balcony. For the past hour, Kira was with Cagalli, watching her as she sleeps.

Kira appeared in the doorway. It seems like he knew what this talk is all about.

"She's already asleep," Kira said.

Athrun was looking at the distant horizon. Then he spoke.

"Is that the gift… you were talking about?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

No response.

"It seems that she's totally different now," Athrun continued. "Tell me the truth Kira. Do you want her to forget… about me?" There was pain his words.

It took a while for him to answer.

"Yes."

His response was short, but the words were heavy.

"The ring… is the proof."

"She was different now, from all of us. You know that Athrun. And she will never get better."

"But why… why are you taking her from me?" Athrun replied.

"It was you who left her. 'Till the last moments of her sanity, she was thinking about you, yet weren't there."

Kira clenched his fists. Trying to hide the anger that he long felt. The anger for everything that happened to his sister, and to Athrun.

"I don't want her to remember that it was you who made her miserable on the last days of her life."

Kira was speaking as though Cagalli was already dead.

Maybe she is already dead. A ghost, roaming around and creeping on everyone's sleeve.

Then he revealed something to Athrun.

"Days after she was hospitalized, I found out something on her desk. I didn't know that she was hiding something from us."

He took a deep breath. Even though the skies were dark, the tears on his eyes glistened.

"Her diagnosis- the doctor's assessment on her. It said that she had this atypical tumor on her cerebrum, and it's getting worse."

The midnight air was eerie, and was cold. Athrun felt the same. He was shocked.

"She had cancer, and she knew it. I read her diary."

Then Kira pulled out something from his pocket. A loose page of a certain journal.

"I was about to tell you about this… but I kept on hesitating. Until you said you want to talk to me, then I told myself, that this was the right time."

The piece of paper was already wrinkled.

"Read what it says. Then reassess everything."

After saying that, Kira left.

Athrun went to his room. Turned the lamp on and began reading.

This was the worst day of my life. It was me who ended everything. He cried but I held myself together. I gave him back his ring… the most precious thing that I possess. I had no choice, I wasn't going to live that long. I want him to find someone…who can love him and never leave. He's been through so much pain, and I don't want him to cry when I'm gone. But then I still hoped that he wouldn't let me go. But he did. He even said that everything that we had… would just become a memory…

I still have lot to do, and I wanted to spend my last days, serving my people.

I didn't want Kira to notice my condition, but it's getting worse. I had to take five doses of pain killer, but the pain still persists. I've been locking myself away from everyone. I don't want them to see me die…

He cried. Cried until he couldn't cry anymore. His eyes were already in pain, but it wasn't enough. The paper was already drenched with tears. The daylight was starting to break the darkness, but in his room, he was still being swallowed with such.

She knew that she was about to die, yet she's still thinking of him. She doesn't want him to get hurt.

When they broke up, Athrun felt bitter about it. For days, he kept on thinking, how could she do that to him? She wanted him to move on. And he convinced himself, that he should. He will not care for her, the way used too. But when Lacus told him about her being rushed to the hospital, everything that he felt … the anger, and confusion vanished. He went back to Orb to see her.

Then, it was Kira's hostility that welcomed him. He didn't understand back then.

Now he did.

Why did she take everything by herself? Why did she think of dying alone?

The sound of the piano was echoing around the place. The song of bitter heartache that everyone has felt. Everyone was listening; in deep slumber they find the meaning.

It was Cagalli who's playing. The song was "The Ancient Bruise"

The ancient bruise

Of a warrior who has fallen

I see him torn in half…

The surface of the deep melody

My heart will never define

You will never be mine

To good by nature and sinned by mistake

You will never be mine…

Meyrin was asleep, but her eyes glisten. Tears. Kira was staring at the ceiling- in deep thought. Mir woke up to drink some water. Yzak went to the living room- listened to the tune. Shinn's feet were still numb. But he wasn't asleep. Once again he was feeling the cold.

I saw the shimmering light

Hidden within the warrior's chest

Then I saw myself inside

Wearing that tinted dress

Too blinded by the smoke

That clouds my eyes

I will not cry

I 'll see you fade

My eyes will follow

But then left behind

You will never be mine

You will never be mine…