Disclaimer: Suheil373 doesn't own Beyblade or its characters, but she does own Raul, Hitate and the plot of this fiction.

Author note: Hey! This is my first story after a loooong time off. A lot of things happened to me while I was gone, I even got married (I was bursting to say that, lol), but I managed to find some time off and rework on a story that I had started two years ago. It's a Kai/Hil and the first thing I write in... centuries XD Enjoy!

Title: Sweet Longing

M--Drama/Romance

Summary: Sometimes, discovering what we feel is no easy task, especially when it involves two guys and wanting both. Hilary has to discover and sort out what side her heart is really going, before she makes one of the biggest mistakes of her life.

Prologue

Feelings. Yes, they're one confusing characteristic. Sometimes you think you feel something, when actually you feel something completely different from what you thought. It could even be the complete opposite of what you believed, and in those situations you wonder if you even want to feel.

Do I want to feel? I'm not sure. But lately I've been having too many confusing situations... What about? Well, I'll start with the basics:

My name is Hilary Tatibana, I'm 17 years old and I live in the suburban side of our town. I'm friends with the strongest and most famous Beybladers in the world, and sometimes I help them with their training for battles, since they're just a bunch of slackers. I, of course, don't beyblade; I simply think it's the most pointless game in history... right after baseball.

Anyway, my feeling disease began when I started going out with this guy. Who's the guy? Well, none other than Raul O'Connor. I know you're wondering who it is, so I'll tell you. He was a very insane guy from town, he dropped out of school, he's got a few more piercings than he should, and in other words: he's a total failure.

I myself never thought that I would fall for a guy like that, but life's a bitch and there's nothing we can do about it. We can't do anything at all... especially not when it comes to things of the heart.

That still doesn't explain why I'm so frustrated, though. Well, the reason is that Raul and I are in love and we've been together for a few months now. We have a wonderful relationship... through the phone. Yeah... I haven't seen him in two months, and why? Because he moved to the other side of the globe. His mother made him leave me until who knows when.

It's cool that I get to have my freedom and more time to hang out with my friends and everything, but it's too much for me. I've spent entire nights crying over him, I've spent entire days thinking about what it will be like when he comes back, I've spent countless hours wondering when it is that he's coming back... if he even finds a way to do it.

I don't know what to do and it's driving me insane. Sometimes I think I've gotten over him, but then we talk and it feels so right... Like we should be together.

I wonder... Should we really? Is it our fate to spend the rest of our lives with each other? Or is this some test that God gave us to learn to describe what our feelings truly are?

If it is a test, then I failed miserably... especially since I'm starting to develop feelings for someone else... Someone that surely doesn't even have feelings for me... You want to know who that someone is? Heh... That someone is none other than the Grinch himself... Yep, it's Kai. And you don't even know the worst thing yet.

I want Kai, but here's the deal: I don't know if I want him to have him, or just to want him. It's weird. When I'm close to him, I'm happy, even when he glares at me, even when he tells me to buzz off and leave him alone, and even when he curses me out, there's still a smile on my face.

Why don't I tell him what I feel and do something unpredictable? Because I don't want to disappoint my boyfriend. I still have feelings for him, and I would be betraying him by falling in love with someone else. It would just be unforgivable that he trusted me and that I just let go of what we had, just like that... if we even have anything.

Though sometimes I feel like I want to let him go and simply drop myself in Kai's arms. After all, I wouldn't want to ruin my own life by being with some idiot that dropped out of school and does nothing at all. That would just be the stupidest thing I could ever do, especially since I'm one of the smartest girls in my grade. I don't want to waste my life...

Unfortunately, on the inside, I want to be with him forever, no matter what anyone says or thinks. I want to go away and never come back, never hear another word of him not being good enough for me, never worry about any of the people that always bothered me about my mistakes. No worries at all.

So if I want that... what is this feeling of emptyness that I get in my stomach? This stupid ache that doesn't go until I discard the thought of letting go of the things that were once important to me? Is it that all of those things I thought I didn't care about are still keeping a side of my heart? Do I still care? Do I want to be with Kai, or do I just want to want him...?

I'm so lost inside myself... So confused. I want to tell someone about this, but who is there to tell? I can't just go around blurting at people: "Hey, I have a useless boyfriend a thousand miles away but I have a crush on Kai! What do I do, Kai is never gonna lay eyes on me?"

To be continued...

Yes I know it was short. But don't worry, from the next chapter on, it gets a bit longer. If I get reviews, I'll update. Now go ahead and click below! You know you want to... Um... Yeah. Review, flame, criticize, give ideas, anything will be gladly received. Thanks!