Marth let out a miserable sigh. "Man, I hate Puph."

"Ugh, me too," grumbled Lucario. "Why'd he single us out of all people to run a boba shop in Smash Mansion? Authors really suck sometimes."

"I mean, at least we're not at the turkey leg shop, I guess," said Marth glumly. He leaned back in his chair in the back of Boba Shop, where he was taking a break with Lucario. He poked his head up to look over the counter. Ike and Roy waved from the stand across the way from them, with far more enthusiasm than Marth found warranted.

"Why'd he even do this? Like, why a boba shop?" grumbled Marth. "Also, can I just mention this apron and uniform is as tacky as it gets? Can I have some dignity, please?"

"Apparently not. And I think this is a boba shop and not a coffee shop because Puph is too hipster to do a Coffeeshop AU like a normal person," said Lucario. "Seriously, I practiced making all the fancy coffee stuff because I knew a Coffeeshop AU was coming sooner or later and knew I might get roped into it! I practiced making cappuccinos, frappuccinos, lattes, the whole 9 yards! And then he throws us for a loop and I gotta learn how to make bubble tea and milk tea now!"

"Ugh, this is all beneath me," grumbled Marth. "And anyway, why a drink shop? Like why not a deli or a barbeque place? Crud, even a conveyor belt sushi restaurant would be better!"

"I dunno dude. According to my research, fanfiction writers love their coffee shops. So, I guess here we are in a Not Coffeeshop AU," said Lucario.

"Yeah, Puph totally hates us," grumbled Marth. "I just don't get any of this story and fanfiction stuff. This is our world and we live in it! Why would there be some random person out there making stories about it?

"Yeah, yeah," grumbled Lucario. "But anyway, what's up with our menu? Don't you think it's weird?" asked Lucario. "I mean, we have the usual selection of fruit drinks, milk tea, and slushies, but like… have you seen some of the flavors?"

"I mean, no," said Marth.

"Dude, you don't even know your own menu?"

"You act like I wanted to run this place and put the menu together."

"Touche. But still, we have some weird flavors, man."

"Like what?"

"Eggplant."

"Eggplant?"

"Yeah. Towards the bottom."

"Yeesh, who would drink that?"

"Ice Climbers probably."

"All right, I can see that. Is there anything else?"

"We apparently sell triple sugar caramel milk tea."

"Extra sugar?"

"Oh, like an extra cup. There's barely enough liquid to dissolve it all."

"Is Puph insane?"

"Yeah, probably. I think he's trying to do one of those 'character goes on a sugar rush and destroys everything with lol random humor antics and the rest of us have to stop them' storylines," sighed Lucario. "At least he's probably the one funding this whole thing so Master Hand doesn't go broke from damages and stuff. Man, I just don't get this guy sometimes."

"I don't either," said Marth.

Suddenly, the bell at the front of the shop rang.

"Ah, I'll get that," said Lucario. He stood up and walked out to the front where he saw the kid smashers hanging out.

"Hey! What can I do for you?" asked Lucario.

"We want 5 Tr1pl3 sug4r c4rm3l m1lk t34 b0b4s, pl34s3!" said N4n4.

"L0l0l0l0l0l0l," said P0p0.

"Umm…. are you sure that's a good idea? Aren't you already hyper enough?" asked Lucario.

"Hyper? Us? No way!" said Ness.

"All right, I'll make you your boba, but you need to promise me that you're not gonna go on a sugar rush rampage after drinking it, ok?" said Lucario.

"We promise!" said Toon Link.

Lucas nodded from where he stood behind Ness.

"Uh, all right. That will be 10 Smash coins total," said Lucario. Each of the kid Smashers handed over 2 coins apiece. Lucario put the money in the register and said, "I'll call you when your boba is ready, all right?"

"Ok!" said Toon Link.

Lucario turned around and poked his head into the break room.

"Hey Marth, I need you out here," said Lucario.

Marth sighed and got to his feet. "I heard the order. You're seriously gonna give that to them?"

"Put in a quarter the sugar the recipe calls for," said Lucario in a low voice. "I don't want to risk it with the full amount of sugar, and it will taste exactly the same."

Marth nodded. "Smart play. All right, let's do this."

A little while later, Lucario waved over the kid Smashers and handed them their boba drinks.

"Awesome! Thanks, Lucario!" said Ness.

"Anytime. You enjoy those drinks!" said Lucario.

The kid smashers walked away and started drinking their bobas.

Lucario turned to Marth. "All right, lets hope that doesn't set off a sugar fueled rampage."

Suddenly, N4n4, P0p0, Toon Link, and Ness rushed past them at a ludicrous speed, screaming "WHEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Mario, who happened to be walking down the hallway watched them in complete shock.

Marth and Lucario gave each other a panicked look.

"MAMMA-A MIA!" screamed Mario. "THE-A KIDS-A ARE-A ON-A SUGAR-A RUSH! HIDE!"

"What?!" gasped Marth as he and Lucario rushed back into the break room and slammed the door shut.

The two of them stared at each other, eyes wide in terror.

"We gave them a quarter of the sugar!" said Lucario. "How are they on a sugar rush!?"

"I don't know!"

"I don't get it either!" said Lucas. "I saw Ness eat an entire banana split by himself and he didn't get a sugar rush like this!"

"Strange, you'd think he'd be ok with the amount of sugar in the drink then," said Marth. "Huh? Lucas? How'd you get in here?"

"Oh, I took cover since the others are on a sugar rush. I hope it's all right if I hide here with you?" said Lucas.

"You're fine. But hold on a second, you got the same drink as everybody else. How come you also aren't on a sugar rush?" asked Lucario.

"Because I don't chug my drinks like the others do," said Lucas, holding up his boba to show that he'd drank only a little of it. "It's nice to stop and savor the flavor. You can't do that when you chug your drink."

Lucario nodded. "That's a good way to do it."

"Still, that doesn't explain why the others are on a sugar rush," said Marth.

Lucario's eyes narrowed. "This smells exactly like a fanfiction author's mad schemes….."

Suddenly there was a crash outside the door. Marth opened his mouth to scream, but Lucario covered his mouth with his paw.

"Shhhh," he whispered. "Don't let them know we're here!"

"What do we do?" whispered Marth.

"Wait till they go," whispered Lucario. "Now hush!"

In the mansion arcade….

"Aaaaah!" squealed Zelda as she shot the arcade gun at the screen as killer robots attacked her and Link in the game.

"Don't stop shooting!" laughed Link.

However, their efforts weren't enough, and they were overrun by robots.

"Awww! That was so much fun! I'm glad you suggested playing this!" said Zelda.

"Anything for my princess!" said Link, before leaning to kiss Zelda.

"All right, you two! Its our turn!" said Samus from behind them. Pikachu chirruped from her shoulder, looking excited.

"Ah, excuse us," said Link, as he and Zelda stepped out of the way.

Samus stepped up to the stand where the game's guns were holstered and picked up the Player 1 gun. Pikachu hopped off of her shoulder and pulled out the Player 2 gun.

"All right, Pikachu! Let's show these two what real gunslingers look like, eh?"

Pikachu squeaked happily in reply and aimed his gun as best he could, despite the gun being nearly half the size of his body. Samus started the game again and aimed her gun.

"Here we go! Let's get 'em!"

Back at the boba shop….

After several minutes of waiting as the kid smashers gorged themselves on all of the sugary stuff around the Boba shop, they seemed to leave. Lucario listened cautiously, stock still.

"I think they're gone…." whispered Lucario.

"But where'd they go?" whispered Marth.

They sat in silence for a few more minutes, listening to a confusing cacophony of crashes, shouts and maniacal laughter.

Suddenly, they heard four heavy thumps outside. All three smashers perked up.

"What was that?" asked Marth.

"I don't know…." said Lucario.

"It sounds like somebody crashed into something really hard," said Lucas.

"Yeah, but who?" asked Lucario.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door.

"Hey! You guys can come out now!"

"Puph! What's going on out there?" asked Lucario.

"Oh, I just spawned in some brick walls for the kids to run into, they knocked themselves out. It's safe now," said Puph.

"Whew, that's a relief," said Marth.

"Uh, are they all right?" asked Lucas, running out to go check on his friends.

"Wait, Lucas!" said Lucario. "Hey Marth, can you go with him? I want to ask Puph something."

"Ugh, fine," said Marth, before he went off to check on Lucas.

"Yeah, what's up, Lucario?" asked Puph.

"Is that safe?" asked Lucario. "You didn't just give them concussions, did you?"

"Nah, it's fine. You can't get hurt that badly in this world. Ike and Roy are also perfectly fine, just got knocked out in the chaos."

"Huh? Why not?"

Puph shrugged.

"That's not an answer! Come on, don't you know anything about this?" said Lucario.

"I mean, I really act as more of a magic genie here, its not like I know everything," said Puph.

"Ugh, you're insufferable, you know that?"

"I try. But hey, you know how you're the only one any of this author and story and fanfic stuff really makes any sense to, right?"

"Yeah. And?"

"Consider that foreshadowing."

"Foreshadowing for what?"

"You'll see."

"Hmph. That's reassuring. Also, very subtle."

"Thanks, I try."

"Uh huh, sure. And anyway, while you're here, can I ask why your body is so weird?"

"Huh?"

"Dude, you've never described yourself. Like everybody knows what I look like because I'm in the game, but nobody knows what you look like. I'm literally seeing a sentient mannequin in front of me. It's kinda creepy," said Lucario.

"Aw crap, you're right! Uh…. shoot, what do I wear? Uh… I guess I'm wearing blue jeans and a tee shirt?" said Puph.

Immediately, a pair of blue jeans and a tee shirt appeared.

"The tee shirt has no color," said Lucario. "You need to specify a color. Also, no shoes? Who do you think you are, Corrin?"

"Shhhh! Corrin doesn't exist yet!" said Puph. "Also uh…. I'll go with uh…. a red tee shirt, I guess? And black gym shoes with black socks? That doesn't look too tacky, right?"

"I mean, its not gonna win any awards, but you look passable, I guess," said Lucario, inspecting Puph's new getup.

"Sweet. Oh wait! I'm wearing a black hoodie with a white Smash logo in the middle! There! I'm now fashionable by fanfiction standards!" said Puph.

Lucario facepalmed.

"Wait, shouldn't you be face-pawing, not face palming?" asked Puph. Lucario face-pawed again in response to that.

"Seriously? Anyway, back on topic dude. You're now just a sentient mannequin wearing some clothes. Do you have a face or hair or something?"

"Uh…. crap. Umm… I'm wearing a Darth Vader mask! Yeah! That works! With the chest panel and the cool breathing noises too! Aw man, now I need to give myself a cape and a lightsaber!"

"Dude this is Smash Bros, not Star Wars. Just wear a baseball cap and a pair of sunglasses, you can pass for a Pokemon Trainer since you love Pokemon so much."

"Ugh, all right. I'm wearing a black baseball cap with a white Smash logo," said Puph as the Darth Vader mask and control panel disappeared from his head and chest. The baseball cap appeared on his head, but Puph waited for a moment, standing stock still.

"You're googling the names of different kinds of sunglasses, aren't you," said Lucario.

"Guilty as charged!" said Puph cheerily. "Gotta pick the right kind! All right, I'm wearing a pair of sport sunglasses!"

A pair of sunglasses appeared over where Puph's eyes would be.

"What a hack," grumbled Lucario.

"I know right! Anyway, thanks Lucario! I'm looking snazzy now!"

"You're still just a dressed up sentient mannequin," said Lucario.

"Consider it my avatar!" said Puph. "Just like Climber! From Endzone? That Original Character Tournament? You know, he also shows up at the end of Law of Talos and is really cool?"

"I've literally never heard of this," deadpanned Lucario. "I'm pretty sure you're making something up."

"I promise this is real. Go look it up, it's pretty interesting," said Puph. "Anyway, I think I need to get going."

Lucario just sighed and looked over the damage. "Hey before you go, what are we going to do about all this?"

Puph shrugged. "Master Hand will clean it up. I just dropped a couple billion Smash Coins into his account, it should cover the damages. Oh, and by the way, I brought you guys lunch!"

Puph snapped his fingers and a portal opened above his head. A large brown bag as well as a smaller brown bag levitated down in front of him, and he handed the bag to Lucario.

"Lunch?" said Lucario.

"Yeah! Make sure that Marth, Ike and Roy get their food too, ok?"

Puph handed Lucario the bag.

"Careful, it's a bit heavy. Give the smaller bag to Lucas, that's for him."

"Uh, thanks?"

Puph grinned. "Anytime! Anyway, I g2g, cya!"

And with that, Puph poofed out of existence. Lucario shook his head. Now the author was talking in weird, abbreviated words. What a weirdo.

Lucario looked inside the bag and took a whiff. It smelled like burgers. He shrugged. He'd take them.

As he walked out of the wrecked shop, he walked over to where Ike and Roy lay on the ground, knocked unconscious during the sugar rush rampage.

"Hey guys, we got burgers."

The two immediately perked up.

"Burgers?" asked Ike.

"For us?" asked Roy.

"Yeah. Come on, let's eat them before they get cold."

15 minutes later…..

Dr. Mario sighed as he saw the four unconscious kids lying in the hallway.

"So, Puph knocked them out after they got on a sugar rush?"

"That's right, Dr. Mario," said Lucas, who was sitting next to his unconscious friends, eating an omelet out of a takeout box.

"And where are the adults?" he asked.

"Marth was here, but he went off to eat burgers with Lucario, Roy and Ike," said Lucas.

Dr. Mario sighed.

"Mamma Mia, I don't get paid enough for this crap."