We Are (Not) Cursed

by BardInTheForest

(Pax Ikari vol III) When Shinji Ikari rides the train from Nagano to Tokyo-3, he is made the epicenter of a reality altering event. With the reality he had occupied now changed forever, he must conceive of a future that will accomodate diametrically opposed ethos. A man who has never known love is now responsible for the fate of the very humans he's been kept from, for good or ill.

51. Chapter 51

+++++ Kirijo Manor. (Monday, September 6th, +16, New Moon 3/4)

It was much later into the evening before the trio investigating inside of the Manor made what Shinji believed was the last discovery. They'd found corpse after corpse, with only two survivors that had been saved by dumb luck. One of which was a very junior maid, the other being Tae Takemi, had needed little medical care. She'd managed to treat herself with the supplies that had survived inside of the reinforced hospital Miyuki had given her, and was mostly faux-complaining about how bad her shoulder looked with the angry green and purple bruising. When she heard that Miyuki had been badly crushed, she dropped the complaints and dashed towards the exit they'd carved.

Stopping on what remained of the ground floor, next to a fallen heavy oak door with most of the contents of what had been Chie's room atop it, Shinji slowly sat down. Looking at what had happened and trying to process the fact that this death meant far more than any of those he'd already seen. To him, one life wasn't just like any other…he was disappointed in himself for letting this one hit harder. One leg on the corpse was splayed out, broken in three places. An arm, far too close to the leg to still be properly attached, had added to what must have been a fast exsanguination. "That's…that's Yuko-chan." He recognized her scent, mixed in with the foul odors of the charnel house the Manor had become. Closing his eyes, he clung to the feel of his two partners in his soul as a way to not break down in tears. "Let's dig her out."

Yuka helped him up, pulling him into a hug. "It's ok to cry. It's ok to hurt. It's ok to look at one tragedy and feel it harder than another. We're here for you, just like you're here for us. When we get…wherever we're staying for the night, let's find a shower and cuddle."

"NERV should have both wet and steam baths, more room," Mitsuru sounded like Shinji felt, but was still standing strong through it all.

"Shower, bath, cuddling," Yuka listed off, with as much cheer as she could muster. "I don't know about either of you, but I am not going to eat for the next six years."

Squeezing Yuka to release the hug, Shinji moved with Mitsuru to begin the process of unburying Yuko Takao. Yuka did her job in incinerating the materials to prevent them from being buried, or blocking off their egress. They'd been working all day, and had become very proficient in using their talents to good effect. The pace they'd kept helped Shinji not dwell, and as his mood stabilized the two women he was with had in turn been able to lean on him during those moments when the reality in front of them had become too much. "I want to ask the Grovemother if she'd be willing to ask some of her followers to help out around town," he said suddenly. Talking about anything was better than dwelling. "I don't know how many people The Wanderer will be able to take, but if it really depopulates the area…I'd like to at least pretend to have fun around town with the team."

"Ugh, I know," Yuka agreed with a huff. "Even with so much stuff being rationed, we can still at least hit the…arcades…."

The sight of Yuko, fully uncovered, crushed any optimism or hope they had. Silently, they gathered her up onto the door she'd been hidden beneath and carried her back out of the building. The overwhelmed NERV staff, aided by the equally overwhelmed Kirijo Manor staff, took the woman's remains from them and used as much dignity as possible to place them in a body bag.

Shinji looked at Andreja, his eyes devoid of life. "That's the last person. I'm not getting any other scents."

As badly as she wanted to ask him why he'd put himself through this exercise, she both empathized and understood that by acting he'd managed to save two more lives than they would have doing it their way. He'd asked for help, and the call for help had been answered with the wrong equipment and the wrong personnel. Andreja wished that she didn't have to add to his burdens, but she had a duty to tell them the truth, "Miyuki Kirijo…did not make it. You have my deepest sympathies."

Her chin lifting up, defying the tears that wished to flow forth, Mitsuru walked over to where many of the house staff had gathered to mourn. She had a responsibility to them, no matter how tired she was. "Yuka-chan, please make sure Shinji gets something to drink."

Yuka, while not sobbing, still had tears flowing down her face. "Yeah…totally." She gave Shinji another hug, one that was returned mechanically. She couldn't take his pain away, and he couldn't stop her from hurting, but she at least wanted to show that she was with them through everything.

Shinji's eyes weren't focusing on the present. The hill he was looking off towards never made it past his visual cortex. In its place, he assessed every single step he'd taken since returning from Tartarus last. Was there anything he could have done? Each time he had a 'choice', he'd done the thing that seemed most important. Every time he didn't have a choice, it was because he'd managed to end up entangled in…. "Where's my phone?" Patting himself down, displacing Yuka in the process, he tried to locate the device. After two searches of his clothes, he scowled in frustration. "Where the hell is my phone?!"

"Here," Yuka tugged hers out of her bra strap and offered it, "use mine."

Taking it eagerly, Shinji pulled up the keypad to tap the number he needed…and remembered that he didn't know the number. "Uh…fuck…Andi!"

Andreja wasn't certain what was happening, but she responded with the same care she'd always feel for him, "Yes?"

"I need to contact the commander, what's her number?"

The big woman blinked twice. "I do not know it, I never call it myself."

Yuka asked helpfully, "Does NERV have an operator?"

"Yes, here, I'll dial it." Andreja took the phone, tapped out the number, and handed the phone back to Shinji.

Two rings in, the line connected. "Good evening, this is NERV Tokyo-3's operator. How may I direct your call?"

"This is Shinji Ikari, I need the commander. Now." Honestly, he could have simply said, 'Ooga, booga, whoopity-doo' and achieved the same result. There was only one male voice left on what remained of their world, and if that male voice was heard on any NERV line with anything remotely approaching a negative emotion, Yui Ikari was the one to be informed.

The phone connection switched from operator to more ringing without any further comment. It was two rings in before another, unidentified, female voice spoke, "Good evening, Ikari-san. I'm afraid the commander is unavailable at the moment, I-"

"Make her available," he snarled out harshly, "or I'm coming back there myself and resolving whatever she's doing violently."

Distantly from the other end of the line, but likely in the same room, a familiar voice spoke to whoever had answered the call, "Geben Sie es hier. Geben Sie. Geben!" There was a brief tussle for the phone, though it seemed more a matter of Kyoko Zeppelin hauling the phone away from the poor woman who'd been more entangled with the device than allowed for an easy transition. "Dummes Mädchen," she muttered, before addressing Shinji directly, "was ist los, mein Liebster?"

Primed by the woman's reversion to her native tongue, Shinji replied in a mixture of both his and her native tongue, "Miyuki Kirijo ist tot. Hatte sie some kind of Lieblingsobjekt?"

A sharp inhale followed by a slow exhale. "She loved her daughter more than life itself, but I doubt that's the type of object you're thinking of." There was a lengthy pause, a war fought and lost in the space of several heartbeats. "If I tell you, will you promise me to not do this alone?"

"Yuka-chan is here with me. She's strong enough to get me to someone if I need. Bitte…."

"Come see me, later, and we'll discuss payment. For now, what you are looking for is likely to be found in a small safe near her work desk. She kept a necklace that Mitsuru-chan made for her some time ago. The chain is made of a simple silver, the medallion out of gold with platinum filigree. It has a long story, but you don't want that right now. Bitte…be safe."

Shinji hung up and grabbed Yuka's hand, dashing off with her right by his side. They had their target, and nothing was going to stand in their way.

+++++ NERV. (Monday, September 6th, +16, New Moon 3/4)

It wasn't a stretch of the imagination to say that Yui was having a difficult time not simply pulling out the small, single shot, self-defense pistol she carried and turning Naoko Akagi's head into a canoe. The more she'd interrogated her supposed friend, the more she came to understand that Naoko wasn't apologetic in the slightest. It had been a competition, a game. Every man Naoko had attempted to woo had lost interest once their academic achievements had been overshadowed by her, and the one man she'd found that seemingly had no issues with a woman being smarter than him had been claimed 'by accident'. Standing in her office, unaware of what was happening with her son, Yui allowed her anger just enough rein to radiate throughout the room. "…An 'accident'? You are calling it an accident?"

"He latched onto you in desperation to clean his life up. Any of a million women could have managed that much," Naoko replied dismissively. "You never pushed him. Never challenged him. Never made him use the natural talents he had to do more than be a chipper little puppy tagging along behind you everywhere."

"He chose to be-"

"You chose," she interrupted, still without heat. "He would have walked across the Australian Exclusion Zone naked if you so much as wondered whether or not it could be done just to satisfy your curiosity. What did you do with that drive? What did you help him become? A house husband. A man forever in your shadow, forever hiding behind your skirt, all so that you never had to worry that he'd leave you just like-"

Kyoko, having returned to the room after helping Shinji, stopped both women before violence erupted, "Miyuki Kirijo has died." After Naoko and Yui both snapped their heads around to look at her, the former in shock, the latter finally shocked out of anger enough to return to her typical detachment, she dropped the next bombshell, "Shinji is going to attempt to do with her what he's accidentally done with so many others."

"He almost died returning my grandchildren." Yui looked over to the monitor on her office wall that displayed a constant stream of the Twins' vitals. "Miyuki is…." She was one of them. A sister, attempting to help save the world through commerce and industry instead of Evangelions and governments. She was family, but she would not want Shinji dead just to return her to life.

"Reverting to your natural instincts?" Naoko scoffed, walking towards the exit. "Like father, like son, you'll just keep him from ever outshining you."

Holding up one hand to stop Yui from rising to the barb, Kyoko quietly warned the departing woman, "Touch him, and our guests will be the least of your worries."

With a soft chortle of amusement, she replied in kind, "Jealousy, after all these years old friend? I thought we were engaged in the spirit of sharing him amongst all womankind."

+++++ Kirijo Manor. (Tuesday, September 7th, +17, New Moon 4/4)

Both Yuka and Shinji were grateful for the other's existence. That alone could have been a complete thought for either young adult, but it was further amplified by the way that they worked together silently to reach the late Miyuki Kirijo's study. Yuka's fire gave them the light they needed to see in the dark ruins of the manor, and Shinji's height and agility gave Yuka a way to reach places that she'd have had a harder time managing on her own. Yuka knew that thought was never far from Shinji's mind, just as she knew that she was never far from his thoughts. "How are we getting this open?"

The safe they had found was half-sunken into the floor beneath it. Shinji was gently running his hands around the outer surface, feeling his way through the situation as he thought about that very question. "It's got a keypad. The display…looks like it has room for six digits."

"That's…like…a million possible combinations?" She shook her head, not liking their odds. "If it has a lockout, or some sort of safety…. Maybe we should take this to NERV? Let them crack it?"

"They'll try to talk me out of this," he disagreed quietly. "It's six digits. That's enough for a date, if you abbreviate the year."

"Oh! So like, May eight is Mitsuru-chan's birthday. Zero Eight Zero Five Zero Five?"

"Could be," he agreed with reservation. "Could also be the date she was married. Can you move the light closer?" Allowing his fingers to lightly brush against the keypad, he tried to feel for any that were more worn than others. "It could also be the month and full year. Or, if she knew people would instantly think of things like this, it could be some random number."

Bending at the hips, Yuka held the flame as close as she felt was safe. "I could try melting the side?"

"Which would melt the necklace, steel has a higher melting point than silver or gold." None of the numbers looked worn.

"I wish Sumire-chan were here," Yuka mourned with genuine sorrow. "She was actually into this kind of stuff. She'd sometimes open people's bike locks for them when they lost the key."

The memory of the viscera pooling before the school's entrance rippled across the surface of his mind. "I wish she was here too." He hadn't known any of them long enough to really learn hobbies and habits. He still felt that he'd failed them. "…I'm glad you're here."

"I know," she kissed the top of his head, sharing his pain, "I'm glad I'm here too. Amara-chan says to try using the cards." When he looked up at her with a question, she shrugged and handed him the deck of cards that had materialized in her hand. "She thinks you'll have success if you concentrate on the keypad while shuffling. Deal out six cards afterwards."

He snorted, accepting the cards and pulling the deck out of the sleeve. "When I picked up this hobby, it was because I could do it without disturbing Meroko-sama." Shuffling, riffling, then shuffling again, he shook his head to clear the memories away that had begun to creep forward. "I didn't know that I was going to be using it quite so seriously."

"It's kinda cool, though. You're like, an actual magician."

"Says the woman who can summon fire." Dealing out the first six cards from the top of the deck, he flipped them over. "Nine, five, ten, four…and two blanks? How did…why are they blank?"

Yuka leaned over Shinji and tapped in a series of numbers. With a nearly silent 'click', the safe swung open. "I don't know why October fourth, ninety-five is so important, but at least we were right about dates being the thing to use."

Less interested in the why of things, and more interested in attempting the impossible, Shinji dug through the stacks of papers and envelopes filled with important documents. He carefully placed everything into a nearby leather bag, needing to at least keep them safe for Mitsuru in the event that he…. I can't fail. I've come this far, I can't fail. After nearly emptying the safe, he saw a small, thin, grey box sitting in the far back of the safe. Large enough for an expensive watch, he figured it likely would hold the object he was seeking. "Please, uhm…." He carefully picked up the box, scooting away from the safe to have room to work. "Please finish putting the papers in the bag."

"Right." She shifted her position so that she could complete the task while still being near him. She secretly held little hope that whatever he had done before would work again, and had no doubts that if it did the effort would at best severely weaken him.

Finding the necklace just as described by Kyoko, he let his fingers lightly brush against the filigree. Mitsuru's talent for the art had been raw, lacking the effortless refinement she did everything with that he'd seen, but a part of him now wished that she would make something for him as beautiful as what she'd made for her mother that day so many years ago. Shaking off the reverie, he discarded the odd deck of cards Amaravati had given him and focused his mind on the cards he'd summoned when he threatened The Wanderer. After several false starts, the cards appeared in his hand. Their hesitation seemed more born from his doubts about his chance of success than anything, so he took a few seconds to chant 'I can do this' in the silence of his soul.

Treated to a sight that few could have ever seen, Yuka saw the cards begin to float between his hands. They passed through one another as if they were all made of air, seeking some form of order that only he, or perhaps they, were aware of. After several long minutes, the deck resorted itself into a contiguous stack and issued out three cards. Settling before their eyes, they rotated listlessly along their primary axis. The Wheel of Fortune, Justice, and The Star. None seemed inclined to move anywhere, nor did they affect any sort of change in the current situation.

From behind them, a soft voice spoke with both clarity and regret. "That's a warning…one I'd heed, if I were you." Neither youth was overly startled, though both were confused as to the identity of the speaker. Wearing a grey one-piece, with black leggings and purple boots and gloves, the winged fae introduced herself with a display of peaceful intentions, "I am Dame Azincourt, General of the Seelie Court. I mean you no malice, nor do I carry secret intentions. I am here to…apologize, if such a thing is even possible, for the actions of my younger kin."

While he thought the wings were a dead giveaway, Shinji wasn't going to jump to conclusions. "You're…with Pixie?"

"It would be more correct to say that she was with me." She remained unbothered by any potential offense. A diplomat seeking a rapport with a foreign nation her people had wronged. "She has been reprimanded for her selfish and imprudent arrogance, forced to endure the iron nail that banished her from your realm. If we, your House and My Lady's, can ever secure peace between us she might find her punishment lessened."

He was being distracted, though not intentionally. "What do you mean the cards are a warning?"

The Dame gestured slowly to the cards. "The Wheel of Fortune is a reminder that luck can only ever carry you so far. Sometimes, you come out on top. Sometimes, you are crushed without remorse or pity. Even one such as you can only push luck so far before it insists on returning to its original balance. Justice is a reminder to be content with what you have been given, and to not seek more than your due. Overweening ambitions rarely are rewarded with positive outcomes. Last, The Star is a reminder that in time all things are healed. No terrible pain lasts forever, and even though you lose those you love…you should remember that you did have that love, not seek to replace it or extend it beyond its time."

"Ok, but like, he kinda already brought people back to life," Yuka asserted quickly. "What's the diff?"

"You dissemble well, Lady of Flame. Few would see through your façade of youthful naïveté, fewer still would see it as the attempt at disarming your opponents that it is." She curtseyed politely in recognition of a fellow ambassador. "The difference is that what he has done was in service of those that had earned a reprieve from the tragedies of life. The Wanderer has suffered far more than anyone might possibly know, and done so without allowing it to jade him against continuing to fight for what is true and just. His brother…has not been so emotionally resilient. His reprieve from forever losing those he'd fought alongside however, is that The Silent One's anger has only ever been directed inwards until time comes that one has done something deserving of it."

Shinji's eyes narrowed in anger. "And my life has just been roses and sunshine."

Dame Azincourt was not moved by his ire. "A gift is something given to others, not to oneself. The abuse of power for selfish desires will only lead to future tragedy, which is why the cards are warning you against this course of action."

Unaware of Shinji's sudden mood change, Yuka protested, "He's 'gifting' Mitsuru-chan her mother!"

"…That's…not, uhm…." Shinji watched as the three cards returned to the deck. They knew that he understood now, and he knew that they might in fact work as he wanted…but the price would prove far more costly than he could know. Slowly closing his hand into a fist, returning the deck of cards back to wherever it lived when he didn't need it, he scooped up the medallion and closed his eyes, slumping in on himself. "She…she welcomed me. She welcomed me into her home, into her life, into her mind. I was angry when I found out about Meroko-sama, but I left because I didn't want to hurt her with that anger. I loved her. I don't know in what way, and I don't want to know. I wasn't doing this for Mitsuru…at least, not alone."

Gently, and with a heartfelt warmth, Dame Azincourt approved of his realization, "It is good to see that you recognize this within yourself. Those of us who carry the twin burdens of nobility and power must work four times as hard to see that we do not cause harm with either, and certainly never with both."

"Imagine if I went around restoring everyone I wanted to, Yuka-chan." He hadn't opened his eyes, fighting hard against the tears that begged to be let free. "What would that do to them? To others, that I'm not that invested in? What would that do to…to me…." Crushing his selfish desires, he took a deep breath and stood, wiping his eyes clear. "Let's take what we've found to Mitsuru-chan. She deserves to know why we left suddenly when she needed us." He took the lead, passing Dame Azincourt with a polite, "Thank you, for letting me know what the cards were telling me. I need to study more with them, so I don't need to rely on others in desperate situations."

The winged fae flipped around in mid-air and floated alongside him as he walked towards the exit. "My translation was not the extent of my purpose, Fatesbane."

"I'm not the one you need to talk to," he spoke over her. "You want to try and make peace, you talk to the others. My inclination is to kill you once we're not standing in the middle of a collapsing building, and I'm smart enough to realize that's probably not the smartest play to make." His heart steadied as Yuka crashed into his back, allowing him to carry her piggyback while hugging him tight and nuzzling his neck with shared love and sorrow. "Convince them. If you manage that without becoming a greasy smear on some flat surface…we'll talk."

+++++ NERV. (Tuesday, September 7th, +17, New Moon 4/4)

The ride back to NERV was mostly quiet. The 'mostly', however, was very surprising to those that had come with Mitsuru. She was on a cell phone, speaking to a meeting of those Kirijo Group members that remained after the disaster that had taken her mother and those that had been taken by The Wanderer to 'safety'. "…and again, thank you. I look forward to a briefing tomorrow on Logistics and Acquisitions' actions regarding the migration of all remaining humans to Tokyo-3. Please make certain to get those resumés to me by noon, and make sure you contact your counterpart at NERV. Whoever will be working with me will be working with my husband, and Commander Ikari is unlikely to smile on someone she disapproves of spending time around her son."

During a break in the dialogue, Shinji reached over and gently set his hand on her knee, squeezing in an attempt to show her that he was there for her. The smile he received, as mournful as it was, lit up her face and his heart. She hadn't been upset that he'd tried to resurrect her mother. She hadn't been upset that he'd chosen not to after receiving a warning from the cards themselves. She hadn't been upset that he'd not been standing by her as she comforted 'their' employees, and she hadn't been upset when he interrupted her upon his return while carrying Yuka with a stranger in tow. Her scent carried gratitude and grief, her eyes conveyed a will of titanium, and her voice was power made manifest. He was glad to see Yuka cuddled against her on the other side from him, to know that he wasn't the 'hub' of this insane relationship, just merely another point in the polyhedron.

"No, the construction of a new Manor will be put on hold until sufficient housing has been repaired and made available to everyone else. We have quarters within NERV that are satisfactory for the moment, and looking around the city it is becoming increasingly apparent that everyone else does not. My husband is quite distraught at that, which as you know, is not doing wonders for my mood." There was a pause. "Thank you. Please call me if I can provide any useful input on your projects, my leadership statement and vision will be sent through normal channels by the end of the day." After a smattering of sympathies and the usual valedictions, she hung up and sighed, leaning into Yuka the way the counter-culture cutie was leaning into her. "I…always knew this day would come. I'd prayed it wouldn't, prepared for it, practiced for it for…forever." Her eyes drifted over to Shinji. "Thank you. Both of you."

"I'm still not sold on us not trying," Yuka murmured. "I mean, like, I get that there's an element of selfishness. But there's selfishness in everything!" Bopping her fist on her knee a couple times, she frowned. "If it's a mindset, and not the act itself-"

"There is no set of circumstances in which our husband will not view this as selfish, in some regard." Mitsuru laid her hand over Yuka's fist, gripping it with just enough force to get her to stop clenching and hold hands. "As a gift for me, it's still selfish. As a way to remediate the loss of leadership for the nation, it's still selfish. He knows, in ways that can't be described or set aside, that he'll benefit from her return. Besides," her voice grew quiet, "everyone already knows she's dead. Proof has been sent everywhere. If he returns her, people will start to think he can return anyone. We'll have a riot on our hands before the day's out, and hundreds if not thousands more dead women on our hands before it could be quashed."

"…It's bullshit."

Shinji nodded dolefully. "Yeah." The shadows that covered the car announced their arrival at NERV. "I…I think we…."

Understanding his hesitation, and loving him for thinking of her wellbeing first, Mitsuru agreed with his unstated assertion, "Bath, meal, and then we'll tackle the rest of the day."

The plan hit a minor snag, however, as Yui stood where the car was intended to stop. She waited patiently for the car to park, for someone to step over and open the door, and for the 'important' occupants to step out before bowing deeply to Mitsuru. "Your mother was more than a friend to me, and I will mourn her loss for the rest of my life. Whatever I have, whatever I can find, and whatever I must create from nothing, will be yours should you ask it of me. I cannot replace such a great woman, but I will do everything I can to assist you as you regain your footing."

"Thank you…okaa-san." Mitsuru held Shinji's arm, laying her head against his for support. "You've already given me a great deal, with him. My people will be sending your HR some resumés to go over, and I would like their input as quickly as possible so that I can choose replacements for those we've lost, and those that I will need to help me run the company while still attending the last bit of my schooling. I would also appreciate a liaison between your people and our…growing family. We're both going to be too busy to drop everything every time someone stubs a toe, but I'd like to be able to deconflict as much as possible."

Yui had reclaimed her feet, and wore a soft smile of approval. "She was, and will forever be, proud of you. If I may…have you tasked anyone with preparing the funeral service?"

Mitsuru shook her head. "No service. Too many have lost too much in too little time, and aggrandizing my mother would only serve to demean those losses. She wasn't a religious woman, and according to her will," hefting the bag of documents, licenses, and other precious items that had been kept in the safe, she swallowed a sob, "she wanted to be cremated, her ashes made into jewelry for you, Auntie Kyoko, Aunt Naoko, and myself."

"I see." Leaving much unsaid, not feeling that the present moment was nowhere near the correct moment to discuss what was happening with Naoko Akagi she offered, "If you would like, I can make those arrangements?"

"…Please?" Mitsuru swallowed another attempt by her tears to make a jailbreak. "We haven't had anything to eat since early yesterday. If it's not too much trouble, I'd like to…to go and make myself presentable."

"Of course. Shinji, please contact me with any questions or requests, and I will make someone available to help if I cannot."

If he had any hatred for his mother, it no longer held sway over his heart. "Thanks…mom." Leaving it at that, he turned Mitsuru towards the door into the facility and forced the two women bound to his soul to move with him. His job now was glaring at anyone that might obstruct their passage, leaving Yuka to quietly whisper a stream of assurances. Mitsuru had been brave as long as she had to, and now that she was out of the public eye and had time before she'd have to be brave again, her reserves were backing away and letting the mourning process begin.

Anyone who had received a warning glare immediately pressed themselves against the nearest wall and bowed respectfully. Word had spread rapidly indeed that a pillar of society had fallen, that both Japan and the only living Evangelion pilot had been gravely wounded. Not a word spoken, not a sound made. Teenagers had become adults overnight, and while their struggle was far from over there wasn't a woman inside of NERV at that moment that wouldn't say they had already done more than their fair share.

Opening the door to the paired rooms they'd been sharing, they found more tangible and immediate support in the form of Isako. The willowy teacher hurried over and subsumed Mitsuru in a hug. The outpouring of tears and sobs brought both to their knees, the younger woman clinging to the older, taking solace in a woman that had been around her for years, that had experience in losing people, that wouldn't judge her in her weakest moment.

Chie sidled around the edge of the room, making her way over to hug Shinji and Yuka. While in the group hug, she shared what they'd missed, "Kawakami-sensei is asleep in the other room, next to Rise-chan and Yukiko-chan. Doctor Amy moved the people with that other Shinji into another place in the hospital. I'd…overheard that you were going to try and resurrect her mom, didn't work out?"

"I realized what a bad idea it was, after a short talk with Pixie's boss and the cards telling me I'd regret it." He smelled like an open grave, and he doubted that was what anyone wanted to be smelling at the moment. "I'm going to go shower."

Mitsuru coughed, "We are going to." Taking a few deep breaths, she fought for control of herself and won. "We smell like Tadashi-san, and that's probably being polite."

Shinji dutifully went over and helped both Isako and Mitsuru up. "Who's Tadashi-san?"

"A former student that did not believe in deodorant, but enjoyed physical education greatly," Isako stated adroitly. "Your personal hygiene regimen in a single day is, quite likely, more intensive than he managed in weeks."

"…Now I really need a shower," Chie said with a shiver. "I used to end up downwind of him in classes last year, and just the memory of that is enough to make me feel gross."

Yuka clapped her hands primly, garnering everyone's attention. "Ok, Mitsuru's first in line, Shinji will be washing her, Isako will be washing him, Chie will be washing her, I'll be washing Chie, and Mitsuru will be washing me. Once everyone's backs are nice and fresh, we'll scrub off our naughty parts and see if this tub can actually hold five people at once."

"Oh, oh no," Isako waved her hands to dismiss the idea of her participation, "I'll clean myself, I'm-"

"Linked to all of us," Chie replied with confusion in her eyes. "You're one of us. You're going to see us covered in blood, in filth…in worse. You're the one that taught us the history of communal bathing in Japan! Are you really going to be such a prude that you're not going to dispense with the stupid notion that we have to shriek like children because Shinji-kun sees us nakey-pants?"

"It's not that stupid," Shinji muttered. "If someone's not-"

Mitsuru pushed him towards the bathroom gently. "If someone outside of our family, I agree. We need to bond, we need to bathe, and we're going to go along with Yuka-chan's perfectly serviceable idea."

+++++ The Silent World.

The Silent One stood atop the wall surrounding what had been the last bastion of three different species once. With a broad slate in one hand, a piece of chalk in the other, he was working alongside Kyoko Soryu and Rebecca Chambers to parcel out land so that the city they were building would be 'self-sufficient'. Listening to the two doctors work, and remaining true to his nom de guerre, he busied himself by artfully rendering and labelling everything.

Further down the hill, those that weren't with him were chatting about everything and nothing with one another as friendships were built, renewed, or repaired. Saeko Mizuno worked closely with Daphne and the Iruel native to their dimension to identify and assess the utility of the various flora being cleared out. Useful species were set aside in fresh earth for replanting elsewhere, invasive species were culled to prevent continued contamination of the area. Makoto, Minako, Michiru, Haruka, Rei, and Naru were doing most of the heavy lifting. The latter, with the support of the Crystal of Earth, was every bit as strong as any of the Sailors, save for Rei. Rei Ikari, the former Shrine Maiden, was blessed with the Crystal of Fire, the Power of Mars, and the unfiltered love of her husband. She didn't lord her position as 'first' among his loves over anyone, a fact that had taken both Minako and Makoto by surprise.

The final little cluster, made of the sisters Aoyama, Sarah McDougal, and Hera were the ones engaging in 'clear cutting' for the others to utilize as they saw fit. Neither Tsuruko or Motoko gave any outward sign of their shared relief and joy at having been given another chance at life, nor did they seem to dwell over the fact that they now shared a lover, but anyone with eyes could easily see the truth of things. They'd 'adopted' Sarah, after a fashion, and had taken to teaching her how to wield a short blade, knife, and her own hands and feet. Combined with what she'd already learned from her father, she was rapidly becoming an able warrior in her own right.

Hera, while she was engaged in conversation with the trio near her, was also mentally speaking to the fulcrum of the growing family. I was thinking that, tonight, we might make some of my home cuisine. Not, of course, that I don't like what you've been making. I just think that we could broaden everyone's palate and cheer up our darling Daphne at the same time.

If you can get a couple of the others on board, I wouldn't mind at all. He put hatch marks on the leeward side of a two-dimensional rendering of a three-dimensional building that Rebecca insisted had to be where it was. The three of us could work together? Or is this a not-so-subtle request for me to spend one-on-one time with you?

I adore spending time with you alone, Husband, but I like the idea to include my niece more. She's cried herself to sleep the past few nights, and could use something other than tragedy to focus on. She paused, saying something to the ladies with her in response to some question. When do we expect our last two missing pieces to return?

The Silent One's mood turned dour. Maria is still with her sisters. They're not providing updates, because they're not making any progress worth providing updates on. Qodeshah has more that she's planning, and Maria told me that she's not going to leave until she knows what that is.

And the Foxmother?

…When I feel like dealing with additional stress.

Hera's sigh was audible through the mental channel. She was acting just as rationally as any other deity responsible for the survival of her devotees. If all of the Kitsune vanished, if all youkai vanished, she would be without the love and devotion she needed to serve her role.

He snorted in irritation. I don't remember you doing even a tenth of what she's done.

My children no longer worshipped me. They had been forced into serving a new god. We survived with only the adoration of those who'd been born by our direct lineages. It likely contributed to his descent into insanity. He never enjoyed being 'shown up' by anyone, and the loss of his devotees to 'false gods' burned like acid in his veins.

The distinction was important, by the Laws. I'll give her trials to complete, then. My forgiveness, and her participation in our family, will only be given if she figures out why my brother was able to bring all of you back…and not the others.

…She really upset you.

You should see how my brother reacts when someone lies to him, kills someone he cares for, and attempts to use a tragedy to improve their own position, he rumbled angrily. Compared to that, I'm barely bothered.

+++++ NERV. (Tuesday, September 7th, +17, New Moon 4/4)

Fitting five people into the bath was incredibly simple. Shinji felt that there was easily room for another ten people before there would be a threat of becoming cramped. To his left, Mitsuru was laying against Isako's side wrapped in her arms. The teacher was listening to the quiet murmurs of her student, commenting where appropriate. To his right, Chie and Yuka were bonding over a mutual love of body movement. Yuka enjoyed dancing like Chie enjoyed martial combat. That wasn't to say that Chie didn't enjoy dancing, or that Yuka was opposed to learning to spar, just that they were in the beginning of that particular discussion.

With his eyes closed, his head settled back against the wall, Shinji would have believed he was in paradise if he didn't have the continued memory of Miyuki Kirijo's last moments pressing in on his mind. His hair had grown unruly, the short two weeks he'd spent in Tokyo-3 long enough for him to gain an extra centimeter. He could have saved her life…he didn't know the cost. Scratching at his jaw, he felt the beginnings of stubble scrape against his fingertips. I wonder if Yuko would have cut my…. His eyes popped open, and he looked to both sides for an answer, "Where's Chiaki?"

Isako looked at him with sympathy and resignation. "She didn't survive the house being attacked by that odd alien woman. She was in the stairwell when it collapsed, after Shizuko was thrown through it."

A part of him had expected the answer, which muted his anger. They'd lost more friends, more allies, more people. "I'm…going to take a walk."

Before he could stand up, Chie grabbed his wrist and pulled him back down. "Nuh-uh. No more solo lone wolf nonsense. We're family, and we're going to stay together and be sad together."

Taking a more direct route to keeping him in place, Yuka placed herself atop his lap and her arms seductively around his neck. "We've all got to learn sometime how to lean on each other. I get that you were into Chiaki-chan. She was cute, in a waifish kinda way. She wanted nothing more than to take care of you, to love you, and to show you how to dominate her." When his brow fell, she gave him a significant look. "She was a sub, babe. She needed you to shove her up against a wall, not write her a sonnet."

Chie's face went through a range of emotions before landing on a blush. "There's nothing wrong with that…."

"Safe, sane, consensual," Isako spoke with a healthy sigh. "I get that kids these days move a lot faster than they did when I was young-"

"Oh shush," Yuka retorted, sticking out her tongue at the eldest present, "you're still plenty young and you know it."

At the moment, Mitsuru was tired of being sad. She was tired of watching Shinji crumple under what she knew he felt to be responsibility. She was tired of laying there like a child when she was no longer anything of the sort. "She is quite correct." Lightly pinching some of Isako's flesh between her fingers, she added, "Your skin is fantastic. You don't have even a hint of crow's feet. You are in great shape. You shouldn't put yourself down, it sets a bad example for us."

After Chie wormed her way under one arm, Shinji hugged both her and Yuka close. The signal Mitsuru sent came across clear enough, it was no longer time for overt depression. "All of you are beautiful." He kissed Chie on the crown, then looked to Isako. "All of you."

Surrendering gracefully, Isako hugged Mitsuru close again. "If the man I'm soulbound to says that I am beautiful, it would be inappropriate for me to disagree. At least publicly."

Shinji's stomach rumbling was audible to all present, prompting him to let his head drop back against the wall. "Sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry for," Chie pronounced, standing up herself and bringing him along for the ride. "You're a growing boy, and it's up to us to keep you properly fed."

Yuka's legs remained bent, her ample bottom now resting in the crook of his arm instead. With a small frown, she looked him up and down. "Did you get bigger, or am I just imagining things?"

+++++ NERV. (Tuesday, September 7th, +17, New Moon 4/4)

Elsewhere in the facility, a meeting of those individuals responsible for Shinji's safety was balancing precariously between 'cordial' and 'life-threatening'. Misato, feeling odd in her cordiality, watched several others arguing over how best to 'manage' a young man who, to the best of her knowledge, was fully capable of erasing any threat to him that they might seek to prevent. The conversation needed to be more focused on how to passively protect him, instead of standing between him and the remaining women on what was left of Japan. Sitting across from her, there was someone that was clearly of a mind, and after half of an hour of increasing hostility between parties, she decided to cut through the growing tension to her, "Miyashiro-san, what would you think of encouraging him to go on outings at the local shopping centers? There's at least three good strips within walking distance, and zero chance we'll be able to employ everyone here inside NERV. We set up some of the ladies coming from around Japan as shopkeepers, use the Kirijo Group to set up logistics chains, and let him go on a couple dates with the ladies. Nice, normal, dates."

Shiori winked subtly, letting Misato know she was both a willing and welcome ally. "I think it's a good idea. I'm ready to hit the town myself. Blow off some steam. Natural disaster or no, I counted Miyuki Kirijo as a close friend as well as someone I swore to protect. I can only imagine how Mitsuru-chan is feeling, and getting her and Shinji-kun out to stretch their legs needs to be top priority."

"That is all fine, yes, but how is he going to have a 'normal' date with a platoon around him?" Andreja tapped the table with one large finger. "It would be better if we dedicated space inside the GeoFront to making commerce available, yes it would."

"Until he goes stir crazy, and either walks out of his own volition or falls into even darker depression," Maya countered firmly. "He's never had a normal life, it's possible he never will! I think getting him out into society, letting him see that not everyone is out to hurt him, will encourage him to develop healthier coping mechanisms."

The JSSDF Captain, somewhat surprised that she'd not only been 'left behind' by the mass exodus but through that had been confirmed to be 'compatible' with Shinji, disagreed firmly, "I need to do a complete sweep of the area for weapons before he even sets foot outside. One woman with a grudge and a hunting rifle, and he won't have any life, let alone normal."

"Close protection manages just fine, Captain," Misato disagreed placidly. "We'll set up a…hefty presence in the area. Enough that we can take over anywhere he is long enough to get a VTOL in and out. So long as Miyashiro-san's remaining forces still want employment, and the remainder of Section Two can play nice with them, he'll be fine."

"I do not think that is so, Katsuragi." Andreja scowled, growing increasingly worried at being 'out-voted'. "Where I am from, the signs of someone with a grudge can be impossible to see for anyone. She analyzes his route, scouts out our protection. Another woman watches for women who do not belong. Women who are too attentive, too inattentive, too strong, dressed oddly to hide weapons. A third woman receives this information, and strikes at a moment that simply cannot be defended against. It is not only the 'lone gunman' that we must worry over, but a concerted effort by any remaining women of the group that struck against us when he arrived."

It was Shiori's turn to deflect fears. "One, my crew is trained extensively in countermeasures aimed at those scenarios. Two, if we're going to conjure up scary scenarios we might as well fret over another monster falling out of the sky and killing him in his Eva. Three, and I really think this might be the most important point, Shinji-kun is deadly." She looked around the table at the others. "I dare any of you to look me in the eye and say that he's 'weak'. He could bench press all of us combined. He's taken falls, and blows, that should have killed him, and walked it off. We need to protect him against bad influences, not bad actors." One hand gestured to Misato. "She speaks for Section Two. I speak for the best damn close protection team this world's ever known. If we're telling you he'll be fine, then your option is either take our advice or find out what happens when we decide that you are a bad influence."

While Maya didn't appreciate threats being thrown around, she was of a mind with both Misato and Shiori. "Sensible precautions, like we would take for the Commander, or for Kirijo-san. He needs normalcy. I think that's three to two…Katsuragi-san?"

"Not if you're going to call me that." Misato stuck her tongue out playfully. "How long have we known each other, Maya?"

The JSSDF Captain knew when she'd been beaten. "Part of those precautions will be a pair of fireteams on station. We have more than enough munitions to take out aerial, aquatic, or ground-based threats. Close protection teams travel light, relying on discretion and obfuscation. Letting people see the hammer that might befall them near the exits of the shopping plazas will help keep honest people honest."

"Sold," Shiori stated with a firm slap of the table. "Getting your folks out and about to make friends will build relationships we need to keep him safe, and limiting it to two heavy fireteams will stop it from being overbearing."

The Captain raised one eyebrow. "Heavy?"

"I'm not opposed to your mindset, Captain, I'm really not. Standard four-person fireteam, plus two to win hearts and minds. Lets the heavies do their job while keeping friendly forces friendly."

With a slow nod, she took what she was given. "Ok. I'm in."

"Four to one," Misato stated with a hint of edge. "This isn't unreasonable, Andreja-san. What's keeping you from joining the club?"

Andreja's face was stone. "I have never been on a crowded battlefield, ma'am. I do not want to leave a tool I might need at home, when carrying it to my worksite requires paltry effort." Standing up from the table, she walked towards the door. "I am outvoted, as the Lieutenant rightly points out. On all our heads be it."

+++++ NERV. (Tuesday, September 7th, +17, New Moon 4/4)

Shinji and the others were joined by Rise, Yukiko, and Sadayo for breakfast. Yukiko was slightly calmer than he'd last seen her, now sweeping into the role of 'innkeeper' that she'd lived for most of her life. If someone needed something, in her opinion, she'd get up and get it for them with a calm smile. If Mitsuru was becoming frustrated, between the trauma of the past day and the calls or magi-mails she was receiving from the Kirijo Group, she moved to her side where she could get the beleaguered Student President whatever it was that she needed.

Rise sat beside Shinji, holding onto his hand, or his arm, and sharing her sympathies and anxieties wherever appropriate. The former Idol could feel him calming down the longer she was by his side, watched him slowly start to hold her hand as well. The way he stroked his other hand along her leg, or her arm, brought her shivers of joy. She existed in his world, she was wanted in his world, and he was taking solace and comfort from her presence alone. The knowledge that she was desired for who she was and not what she looked like was powerful.

Sadayo sat in a plush recliner, lifted from her wheelchair to said new seat by Shinji, attempting to describe how weird it had felt to have her back knit back together by aliens. "It was…like a large trout was in my back, flexing itself to swim in place. It didn't hurt, I don't remember feeling any pain after Amethyst-sensei gave me those painkillers, it just…I really can't think of any other way to describe it. My body was inhabited by a fish, and then after a while my back was whole. I can feel my legs again, I can wiggle my toes, I could even walk if it wouldn't go directly against her orders."

"Please," Shinji urged with one hand reaching towards her slightly, afraid to touch her for fear of hurting her himself, "if you need anything before she authorizes you moving…actually, why don't I just stay around you. That way I can carry you to the bathroom, or help you bathe, or get you something to eat, or-"

With a healthy blush, Sadayo shook her head, "N-no, that's ok. I really shouldn't-"

"Isako-chan just totally sat naked in a bathtub after scrubbing his back in the shower," Yuka announced glibly. "I kinda think that particular genie's out of the bottle and streaking down the street causing mischief."

Sadayo slowly turned her head to Isako. "Really."

"I'm basically married," Isako defended herself. "I mean, we share a soul! I can hear his thoughts! It's only appropriate that I…you know…get to know him."

"I'm not," she declared. "Which makes it-"

The appearance of the High Pixie, Dame Azincourt, out of thin air caused the room to fall into silence. The regal warrior had brought with her a platter of fruit, setting it down on the table where everyone could share it. Not bothered by the varying looks of mistrust, anger, and worry, she addressed Sadayo first. "If it pleases you, Honored Instructor, that situation is rather easy to resolve." Taking a smaller plate, and putting a variety of the fruits she'd brought with her upon it, she offered the dish to Sadayo. "Anyone with eyes knows how he feels about you, and your courage is unquestioned after you demonstrated a willingness to sacrifice your own life to save the Innkeeper."

With a low growl, Shinji brought the room's attention back to himself. Dame Azincourt was undisturbed, aware that he would take issue with an offer made without deep analysis of the terms. Everyone else was varying degrees of nervous, not anticipating such an animalistic response from the normally softspoken man. "Do you happen to remember what happened to the last group of pixies that tried to dictate my life?"

"A deserved death, given with unquestionable authority." Her head tilted slightly to one side. "I spoke truthfully when I said that My Lady deeply regrets that act. She is willing to bequeath her power, in total, to the Honored Instructor. Just as the Dragonflame, or Heaven's Palace, or Nature's Grace, or The Wanderer's Ocean. Her only request is that you…consider lending your assistance to our repopulation concerns."

Rise responded before anyone else could, "Oh hell no. One of your people tried to-"

"She's being punished," Shinji interrupted with a gentle squeeze of Rise's knee. "I told…." He frowned, then looked to Dame Azincourt. "How am I supposed to address you?"

There was a pause, the Fae taking a moment to determine what would be the most appropriate course of action given the circumstances. "Est-ce que tu parles français?"

"Oui…pourquoi?"

"Je m'appelle Catherine d'Azincourt. C'est un plaisir de vous rencontrer," with the formal greeting, she dropped into a deep curtsy.

"Le plaisir est pour moi, Madame d'Azincourt…mais comment je t'appelle? Catherine, Azincourt?"

"Celui qui vous plâit le plus, Honoré."

Chie scowled, looking around the room and seeing that nearly everyone else was seemingly following along with the conversation. "I don't speak…whatever that language is."

"French," Dame Azincourt replied with an apologetic nod. "In order to give him a name to use, I had to work around a number of provisos that don't matter to any but him in this room. The only reason it matters to him, in truth, is that if he were to speak my name in his own tongue and of his own volition without warning it would cause…trouble."

Shinji put more thought into what had just happened. "You…don't have a family name."

"I do not."

It clicked into place. "Catherine-san, if I asked you to swear yourself to not engage or provoke violence against…my family, would that resolve some of the problem?"

"Only if you are willing to offer payment in kind," she countered with a soft smile. "So long as the violence is unprovoked, that is. My extended family has proven to be untrustworthy, and I would not seek to hinder you in matters of defense."

Violence would commence immediately if he did not agree to her reasonable terms. They were exchanging names, opening a form of weakness in one another. She wanted peace, and was willing to sacrifice to get it. That, of anything, he could respect. Willing his cards into his hand, the odd deck with names and tools instead of symbols and numbers, he shuffled it briefly and extended it to her with a challenge in his eyes. "Pick a card."

A small grasping motion brought a card from the deck, its back to him and the face one she had no doubt of. "I submit myself willingly to your sight. I have nothing to hide, not from you, not from them."

Reaching out with one finger, he touched the card as it floated between them. Instead of the simple description of desires and hurts, he instead saw the truth of her purpose as a living entity. Plucking the card from the air, he set it back upon the deck and dismissed the lot. "She's not here to cause mischief." Standing up, he gestured to Yukiko while speaking to Catherine d'Azincourt, "She's the one you need to convince. Your success or failure will depend on her estimation of your character." Stepping around the table, he stood next to Sadayo and asked, "The bathtub is large enough for both of us to float in. Rise-chan knows how I feel about her, and even though she's not tied to me as the others are…I know how she feels about me. Yukiko-chan needs patience. Her world has been violently upended, and adding more onto her right now will get us nowhere. Would you do me the greatest favor of all time, and let me care for you?"

Sadayo tugged lightly on his shirt, bringing him down so she could whisper in his ear, "I…am afraid that Isako and I are replacing Meroko Ikari in your mind. That you want to serve us, because it's the pain you know and not the life you want."

It made sense, and explained much. "I swear that neither of you will ever be compared to her in my mind. My desire for you, my hopes for us and our future will depend solely on how far you are willing to go." Setting a soft kiss on her forehead, he finished with, "I would have made love to you the moment I saw you. I can feel how badly you want to be a good role model. How much you wanted to help me learn to be healthy. How innocent your intent was as you taught me to swim. It's not me that will choose how we proceed. It never will be."

After a hint of hesitation, she nodded once. "Be careful carrying me…bathrooms are slippery when wet."

+++++ Author's Notes.

ThE AnCiEnT DeRuViSh: RE: Chicken or the Egg.

To be honest, my life to date has not been..."easy". Things, as you point out, have definitely been affecting my writing. I don't believe that it's impacted the course of my story, though. Tragedies reveal character, or so they say, and giving my characters tragedies to deal with allows me to show the kind of people they are inside. Have the tragedies been harsher for the stuff I'm going through right now? ...It's possible, probable even. Have they dictated the course of the story? No. I'm actually triple-checking before I pull a trigger to be sure that what I'm doing, I'm doing for a reason. I'd rather avoid overdosing on pain for pain's sake, because eventually you hit ennui, and that's boring.