Chapter 7:
"Ways"
Emma stared at Sean, waited for him to say something...anything. That he was too scared to deal with this. That he was too unstable; he had after all just gotten out of jail. That he didn't know her anymore. Anything
But Sean didn't say anything, he just shook his head his eyes watering, slowly. It's too hard!, Emma thought, tearfully, Too hard for him to break up with me, but he's going to!
Emma could feel herself shaking, and she turned to run away from Sean, rush up the stairs and cry her eyes out, not wanting to believe that she'd ruined her brand-new relationship with the love of her life, all because of some stupid memories about Peter.
All because of her stupid self, being so scared of Sean not being able to deal with her..."body issues" that she'd found her way down here in the dark and lonely basement, to subconsciously try and force Sean to see that he couldn't deal with her.
And to just leave, already.
But, before Emma could take too many trembling steps toward the stairs, Sean grabbed her hand and pulled her towards him, embracing her in a frantic and unrelenting, hug.
When Sean finally let her go and Emma stood staring into Sean's eyes he said,
"Emma? I'm not going any-where, alright?" as he shook his head at Emma as though he couldn't believe she'd even suggested this thought. "And, I don't know-I don't care how long this takes. Today or-or tomorrow, or years even. I mean, I can't say it's not scary, Em…" he said and the fear seemed to cloud his blue-green eyes gray before he went on "But…I'm with you on this. I just-I don't want to lose you, alright?"
Emma smiled and nodded at him, her sweet and wonderful Sean, tears of relief and happiness rolling down her cheeks. But, she couldn't help but to shake her head at Sean saying, "Sean? you're not going to los-" but, Sean cut her off, kissing her fiercely and she felt tears squeezing down his face and softly pressing against hers.
"I just got you back, Emma…" Sean said, as he pulled away staring at Emma heartfeltly. "And I don't wanna- I can't, lose you again." He said in a quiet and pained voice that found Emma whencing a little.
But, she smiled inside and she leaned against her boyfriends arms…
"Sean, I've been doing okay, you know? I was just-well, I'm just a little scared. I don't know, no matter how many ways I can come up with, I can't think of any way that I can deal with this...by myself." Emma said finally, thinking of being without Manny, Peter, and her parents, and being saddened by the thought, but finally speaking what she really felt.
Sean turned Emma towards him again and said in a way that almost shook Emma to her core "You don't have to Emma. You don't have to think of any "way" to deal with this by yourself."
And Sean paused, gripping Emma's hands the same way he had when he'd been in jail and she'd come to see him, his eyes tearing up…
"'Cuz, I'm not going anywhere. There's no way that you can think of, that I'm not going to be here for you, ok? Whatever "ways"?…All "ways"? I'm here."
Emma nodded and smiled at him.
Sean Hope Cameron.
Her savior,
Love of her life,
And she shook her head at the thoughts of Peter,
Yes, he'd been there for her…
He'd helped her out when Sean wasn't there to…
And she'd be forever grateful to him for that, if nothing else…
But Sean Cameron?
He was here now…
Just like he'd been here before…
Just like he'd always managed to be here…
In Emma's heart…
In Emma'sthoughts…
In Emma's dreams…
In every way
All ways…
Always.
And this was the last time, Emma realized, that she'd wonder if Sean could actually handle being with her the way she was now; unsure and scared.
"Emma, do you need to go…I mean, is there someone we need to call?"
Sean said suddenly, getting back his bearings and realizing that maybe Emma needed some other kind of help, other than just him standing here, loving her; but scared, and shaking.
Emma shook her head and leaning into Sean's shoulder she guided him towards the stairs.
"I was just…panicking a little. I'm fine…" she said slowly,
"I'll be fine anyways…as long as you stay with me till everyone gets back. You will stay, right?"
Sean nodded, a slow grin spreading over his face. "I'll stay."
"All ways?" Emma said, remembering Sean's heartfelt and touching play on words and glancing over at the boy who was walking slowly on her arm. "All ways." Sean answered with a nod.
"You're really sure?" Emma joked, poking Sean in his side playfully, deciding to try and lighten up the dreary mood.
Sean glanced over at her and then smiling, he reached down, sweeping Emma's legs and body up into his arms. Emma laughed and placed her hands around his neck and stared lovingly into his eyes.
Sean carried Emma up and out of the dark dreary basement and into the lighted hallway, kissed her gently and then said, very seriously, as he looked into her eyes, which, along with his, were filled with tears and fear but also, wonder and hope...
"Always."
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