Disclaimer: This story is based on the conversation by Tanya Deladier and ZA Fukiko. I don't own Batman, The Batman or any version of the Riddler including "TEH Gothicky Riddler." (Probably for the best, that.) I also don't own Fukiko, which is okay because her main contribution to the conversation was, as always, to spout Riddler quotes and then dodge glomp attempts. I do own Tatyana. She's my alter-ego. Don't tell anyone.
On a glorious Gotham afternoon in late October, the Riddler smiled at the city that was already his—it just didn't know it yet. Once the sun went down—because he had to wait for the sun to go down; it was just a matter of protocol—he would waltz straight into GCPD headquarters and wipe their databanks clean, and then his most devious scavenger hunt yet would send the Batman all the way to Metropolis while he made his escape.
The Riddler tapped his question mark staff nervously against the floor, impatient for sunset. If he hadn't already given the gang very specific instructions, he would have been tempted to go ahead early with the heist…but, no, that would be unprofessional. And he was always a professional.
"Eddums?" The Riddler cringed. "Are you scuffing up my kitchen floor again?" He stilled the staff against his foot.
"No, Mother." She padded up behind him in stocking feet.
"You aren't going out like that, are you?" The Riddler looked down at his black and green spandex costume and frowned.
"I always wear this. It makes me instantly recognizable." His mother pulled his long hair back from his face.
"It's cold out."
"Mother."
"You'll catch your death if you don't wear a sweater." He pulled away from her.
"Mother, please, I have work to do." She smiled fondly up at her son, the tall, dark and handsome.
"Don't forget your lunch." He sighed. "You're too skinny, Eddums. I packed you a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a banana, a juice box, and a special surprise."
"Thank you, Mother," he said dutifully. She kissed his cheek and forced the paper bag into his hand.
"You have a nice day at crime-ness, dear. And, you know, it wouldn't kill you to bring home a nice girl every once in a while."
"Yes, Mother," he said again, and she frowned. He was annoyed with her, and she was annoyed with herself.
Living with his mother? At his age? What is he, the Cluemaster? Besides, I'd much rather be the nice girl.
That was when he looked deep into her eyes and said, "Tanya…Tanya…Tanya!"
She looked up, surprised, blinking in the harsh light of the library's computer lab.
"Tanya, you've been staring at that screen for about ten minutes without blinking," said her study partner, Fukiko.
"Oh, um…I was just…" She glanced at the GCPD website's information on the Riddler again and realized for the first time that one member of the gang behind him in the photo was a woman. Tanya smiled.
"Who were you thinking about this time?"
"The Riddler," Tanya said dreamily. Fukiko blinked slowly.
"Tan, you have some strange fantasies." Tanya giggled.
"If you only knew, Shnoogums. If you only knew…"