Part III

Jaina opened her eyes and smiled when she felt his familiar presence. She looked around the room and gasped when her eyes fell upon her husband. He was leaning back in the large antique Corellian rocking chair that his parents had given to them for the baby. He was wearing an old pair simple dark blue sleep pants and a long tattered grey robe that had long ago seen its better days. His head was lulling to one side with his mouth slightly open in sleep. But it wasn't that which made Jaina's heart flutter, it was they way the unlikely looking Emperor held the tiny infant to his bare chest, and how that baby seemed so content to be held in his father's loving embrace.

Her heart swelled with joy as she watched them, both sleeping soundly. She wondered when Jag had gotten in and why he hadn't awakened her but it didn't matter because she wouldn't have wanted to miss this scene for the galaxy. She actually felt her eyes sting with tears at the tenderness of it.

And with that thought she thought back to the time she nearly threw this chance at love away.

The battle was for the planets of Bothan space. Bothan extremists had been relentless in their determination to follow through with their Ar'kai and had attacked the World Brains on several planets that had once been Yuuzhan Vong strongholds. One such planet had been Coruscant, however, the Coruscant brain was still "friends" with Jacen. During the time that Jacen was still falling to the Dark and before he killed Tenel Ka, the Bothans had staged an attack on the World Brain. Although that attack had come too late as the brain had been killed by another assassin, Jacen still found blame in the Bothans. He declared them enemies of the Alliance as much as the Corellians and before long Bothans were segregated as the Corellians had been. It was only a matter of time before Bathawui and her sister planets joined the ranks of Insurgents, however, the Sith Lord in charge of the GA Defense Force wouldn't allow them to leave peacefully.

The Remnant lead by Jag and two complete fleets of the Empire's best met the best of the Alliance to battle it out over the important sector. The Bothans knew that it wasn't really for them that the two great powers fought over, it was the shipbuilding facilities and the many ships and the Bothan GA personnel that abandoned their commissions to go home. One such important military figure was Admiral Traest Kre'fey, who only the month before resigned his position in the First Fleet, lead the Bothan home defense.

The battle was intense and Jaina and her fellow Jedi Kyp and Zekk found themselves in the thick of it. They each led a squadron of TIEs, they had become proficient in the craft but neither of them liked the gangly ships. They flew differently than X-wings. Although, they had decided that flying an X-wing among the TIEs into battle with X-wings could prove too dangerous, they didn't feel completely confident in the foreign ships either. They all had flown TIEs either in fact or in simulator games but flying into battle was a slightly more frightening concept. Jaina was just glad that the Imperials had finally put shielding on the death traps, but that hadn't happened until the Vong war proved pilots and ships weren't as renewable as before.

She lead the Swords out of the hanger and immediately called, "All flights check in." She listened as the eleven other ships of her squad checked in along with the squad leaders of the squads under her command. Then they turned and headed to support Kre'fey's Bothans along with the eleven other squads. She, Zekk and Kyp were in a battle meld and she could feel her Jedi partners on the flanks of the battle. Kyp was involved with a hairball of a fight as he protected the right flank of the Imperial ships. Zekk was supporting the other flank. She would be in the center along with the Bothans as the GA attacked with wave after wave of fire power. All of them were in command of the group that flew with them. The idea was to spread out and since they were linked better than any communication system through their meld, Jag decided to use them to the best of his advantage. In the areas that would most likely be attacked.

As her lover sent his love to her through their nearly nonexistent Joiner bond she sighed. She didn't love Zekk and he knew that she didn't. These past eight months of serving directly under Jag had brought all of her long buried love to the surface. She had tried to fall in love with Zekk every since they returned from the Swarm War, but she couldn't. She loved him as a dear friend and nothing more. And recently she couldn't even be intimate with him without thoughts of Jag haunting her. She remembered what she and Jag had and wished they could find it again. But she knew that was only a fantasy. Jag could never love her again. Her betrayal during the war with the Killiks had been too great, no matter how many glances or laughs they now shared.

All she had was what she could do to help prevent Jacen from getting Bathawui and if she did that it would be enough. If she died while fighting then that was how she was to end. She had been the Sword of the Jedi, she knew that she wasn't that any more. She was fighting Jedi; she could feel their familiar presences among the attacking fighters. She felt Lowie and Tahiri and Tesar and she felt their sadness at having to fight her in this fashion.

She swallowed the feelings of self betrayal that she felt for having to fight the people who were once her friends, her family. She pushed it to the place that she had pushed her hatred for and the pain caused by the man who had once been her twin. She held those feelings deep within her, much as she had years ago after the death of Anakin and—Jacen. Yes, she sighed sadly and checked her gages one last time before she would be in striking distance, we had lost him too at Myrkr. The shell that had once been Jacen came back but Jacen was gone. He was as gone as Anakin had been. We should have seen it then.

Oh, Anakin, she thought, it would have been better to have lost him to death too then to face this now. How I wish you were here instead.

Then she took a deep breath and gave herself totally to the Force. The Sword of the Jedi became the Sword of the Empire and she thrust at the heart of the attacking Alliance.

The fight was hard and intense and Jaina knew that she was going to die out there. She fought with abandon as she closed in on one of the enemy cruisers.

"Sword Lead, I cannot keep up with you," Jaina vaguely heard the frustrated voice of her wingman, a fifteen year veteran who Jag had personally chosen for the job.

"Then regroup the rest of the squadron and keep them busy. I'm taking that cruiser."

"Lead? That's suicide," the other's voice was incredulous.

She shot another X-wing with lasers and immediately took aim at another. After shooting it she finally answered the concerned man, "Yes, Two, it probably is." Then she was gone, diving and twisting her way through to the well defended ship. She had to take it out and then she would let the Force determine her fate.

She had to end this here and now—Jacen was on that ship.

She finally got within striking distance and aimed for the shield generator that produced the shielding for the command area. She got two torpedoes off, the first one flashed out against the shield but the second made it through. She made another pass as she watched that portion of the shield fizzle. Then she let go a third torp and the whole section of shield that protected the bridge of the ship was gone. She grinned and headed back toward the large viewports of the command center. She was aware that a squad of Eta-5's and several Jedi Stealth-X's were headed in her direction but she didn't care. She focused on releasing the last of her torps into bridge. She let them go with a deep breath and pulled up as the attacked area exploded. She knew that her two torpedoes wouldn't be enough to blow the battle cruiser, but it would kill the command crew and if she was lucky Jacen would be caught in the blast. Unless he had become a coward as well as becoming a Sith.

She felt Zekk and Kyp's rush of concern as she flew into the face of the eighteen attackers. What was left of the Swords and three other of the squadrons that were under her ultimate command fought their way into help their leader. Many of them originally had doubts about the Jedis' loyalty but after watching what Jaina had just accomplished as the command cruiser began to fall away dead in space, those doubts were replaced with respect and awe. Escape boats were being launched from the cruiser and as other ships in the GA fleet suffered similar fates, Jaina knew they had won the battle. Bathawui would be theirs.

However, as she fought the last of the Eta-5's with help from her wingman and the other seven pilots left of her squad, Jaina's mind was brushed with a cold bitter laugh. She had failed. Jacen was still alive and fleeing the battle zone.

The chill that ran through her along with the sudden despair of failing to accomplish what she needed to to end the war was enough to cause her concentration to falter which allowed one of the X-wings to get a lock on her. She shook herself and tried to lose the tail but she couldn't, the pilot was too good, but what was worse the pilot was a Jedi.

Suddenly, over a general frequency a familiar voice came to her, it was the voice of Valin Horn, "Jaina?"

She shook herself and went into another deep dive only to be followed by the Jedi she had known most of her entire life. She switched to the frequency and answered, "Valin? Are you going to follow the orders of a Sith?"

"I follow the orders of the Jedi Council and you are in violation of the Council's rules," his voice was even as he continued to match Jaina move for move.

Kriff, he's a better pilot than Corran ever was, she thought. She said aloud, "But the Jedi Council is following the rules set by a Sith Lord. Don't you find that just wrong?"

"Jaina, I fight to preserve the Alliance as does the Jedi. Jacen Solo being a Sith has no baring on the matter. We all want the same thing—peace." He became more aggressive then and Jaina took a laser blast on her rear shield.

"Valin, are you really going to shoot me?"

"I'm warning you," he said as he sent another volley of green her way but she was able to twist out of the way in time. Her shields couldn't take too much more. TIEs may have been upgraded with shields but they still weren't as strong as those on an X-wing. She swooped away again and he trailed her in the dive. Suddenly, Jaina felt a terrible sense of danger and knew that she was going to be hit. Just before her lock alarms began to blare, Valin said one last thing, "Bail out, now!"

Jaina's ship was hit at the same time as she hit the ejection switch, sending her away from the exploding ship. But she never knew all of this because she had been caught in the blast and was rendered unconscious.

She shuddered as the vague memories of being in bacta came to mind and the treatment of her injuries, and her feelings of failing. She had been rescued by the Bothans before the Alliance was able to find her and then taken to the Integrity.

She shook her head to clear it as she heard the soft mewling of Alezander. She looked over at Jag and the baby just as Jag sat up, the soft cries awakening him. He looked over at Jaina and smiled. She felt her heart skip a beat as it always did when he smiled at her like that.

He stood and came toward the bed as he said, "I think he's through with me. I can't give him what his mommy can."

She grinned up at him as he sat on the bed, "That may be true. However, the HoloNet would have paid millions to have the holo of you holding him." She took the fussing baby from Jag and held him close as she opened the nursing flap. After having the baby settled and greedily feeding, she looked back up at Jag, who seemed enthralled at watching the baby. She smiled and leaned over and placed a kiss on his cheek.

That brought his attention back to her. "I don't think that I've ever seen anything more beautiful, Jaina," the tremor in his voice caused her to swallow.

She looked down upon the suckling boy, "He is beautiful. Thank you." Her voice nearly cracked at the words.

Jag met her eyes and softly said, "For what? It was you who gave me such a wonderful gift."

She shook her head; she felt the sting of tears and knew she wasn't able to hold them back, "No. Thank you for never giving up on me. If you hadn't been there I would have given up. I would have never known the joy that you have given me. I wouldn't have known this love that we have."

He leaned back on the pillows and pulled her to him. He held her close as she gently cried against his shoulder while their son fed at her breast. "Jaina, I have always loved you. I had to save you. I had to save you from yourself in order to save me."

X

Jag knew what she was talking about. After the battle at Bathawui she nearly died. Not from her injuries but from giving up. She felt like she had failed in stopping Jacen, she had felt like she could never have what she wanted. But Jag knew that if it hadn't been for her reckless heroism, the Empire may have lost that battle, which became the turning point in the war.

Jaina had been removed from the bacta earlier that day but she still was in a comma of sorts. Jag entered the medical ward to find the human medic and an Emdee droid examining Jaina. She was still unconscious and her condition was still in the balance. The medic, upon seeing the Grand Admiral, instantly came to attention and saluted.

"At ease, Dr. Goff. How is she?" Jag returned the salute and moved over to stand beside the bed that an extremely pale Jaina lay upon.

"Sir, she isn't responding to anything we are attempting; although, her injuries seem to have been healed by the bacta and possibly a Jedi healing trance. I am unable to find any other internal injuries that may be causing the lack of response. However, it seems she has shut herself down."

Jag gazed upon Jaina and then asked, "Could she still be in some sort of trance?"

"No, she isn't in a trance," an even voice came from behind Jag. Jag quickly turned and met the gaze of a man he had been avoiding since the Jedi came into the fold. Zekk, who like the other Jedi had been commissioned a colonel, saluted and then went on to inquire, "Admiral, may I speak privately with you?"

Jag bristled but nodded. To the medic he said, "Carry on, but inform me immediately if there is any change in her condition."

The middle aged doctor nodded once and said, "Of course, Sir."

Jag followed Zekk to an empty room where the Jedi closed the door behind them. Jag had to admit part of what made him uncomfortable around Zekk was not necessarily just his relationship with Jaina, but rather the thought of what Zekk felt for him when he was a Joiner with Jaina. Sensing Jag's discomfort Zekk simply said, "It's gone."

"What is?"

"That which is making you so uncomfortable to be around me." Zekk said as he moved across the room, as if he too was uncomfortable. "It was gone as soon as Jaina and I lost our bond within the Taat. But that isn't what I want to talk to you about."

Jag wasn't sure if he should relax or wait for him to lower some dreadful boom, but he nodded and motioned for the Jedi to sit as he did so but that did little to relax either one of them. "So, what is it you need to speak to me about?"

Zekk locked gazes with him and evenly said, "Jaina."

Jag stiffened and asked, "What about her?"

Jag actually thought he saw the pain in the other's green eyes, "She still loves you. And it is the thought that she will never be able to have you that is causing her to give up the fight."

Jag sat back and let out a breath, "I don't believe that. Jaina would never just give up. However, if she still loved me, she wouldn't be sleeping with you."

Zekk let out a bitter laugh, "But it is you she really wants." Then he deflated and took a deep breath as he went on, "Fel, I won't deny that I love her. I always have since I was a kid. But she isn't mine and never has been. I know she wishes that she could love me and she has tried to love me but she never will be able to. Her heart belongs to you. I thought that I could fill the void that you left, but I can't and I never will. Oh, maybe we could have been reasonably happy if you hadn't come back into her life, but now that you have she can only think of you." Zekk paused and stood up. Jag could tell that the Jedi was completely laying his heart out for him and Jag could do nothing but listen to him. Finally, he went on as he stared at a piece of medial equipment on the wall and hugged himself; Jag could hear the pain in his voice, "It is you that she wants more than anything." Zekk then turned to meet Jag gaze, "And if she can't have you she doesn't want to live."

Jag swallowed. It had been basically the same thing Kyp Durron had told him a few months before. Jag stood and pulled on the edge of his white jacket almost nervously. He had been considering for months what he felt for Jaina and he honestly wondered if he could just forgive and forget all that she had done to him. Finally, he said, "Zekk, I honestly am not sure what I feel for her any longer. She has hurt me more than once and she betrayed me." Then he let out a slight chuckle as he went on, "Although, her betrayal hurt me and my family, I feel things have worked out better than they ever could have if we had stayed in the Ascendancy."

Jag moved toward the door and went on, "I at one time loved Jaina enough to consider giving up everything for her. I wanted to marry her after the Vong war. I wanted a family with her."

Zekk finished for him, "Then she betrayed you and tried to save the Killiks from the Chiss."

"Yes," he said voice hard.

"Fel, can you deny feeling anything for her now?" Zekk stepped forward and sadly smiled, "You forget that I'm a Jedi. I can sense the conflict in you. I can see how you try to protect Jaina. Jag, I know that you still love her."

Jag's indignation was instantaneous, "I think this conversation has gone far enough." Then he reached for the door control but Zekk's voice stopped him.

"I only want Jaina to be happy, Fel. And I know it isn't me that can to that. I guess what I'm saying," Jag turned to look at the slightly taller man who somehow looked smaller in that moment. Zekk swallowed and quietly repeated, "I guess what I'm doing is stepping away. She needs you, Jag, not me. She never needed me and she has never loved me. And I can't stand to watch her just give up."

Nothing else was said, Jag simply nodded once and hit the door control but as he turned away he was sure he saw the Jedi's eyes become watery. However, Jag was gone before he confirmed it. His heart was in a tailspin. He was both happy and yet he dreaded the noble act of Zekk. What was he to do now? What did he really feel? How was he supposed to save her? These questions pounded in his mind with every increasing heart beat as he made his way to the surgery where Jaina lay.

He entered to find only the droid monitoring her. He acknowledged its salute and moved closer to the bed. He swallowed hard as he looked upon the woman who had held his heart since he was eighteen. He remembered back over the years and all of the times he had spent with her. It was odd, he thought, that it had been during the most devastating of wars, the most vicious of times that he had been happiest.

He sat down on the stool by the bed and moved closer. He gazed at her still stunning face and reached a trembling hand out to brush her dark hair away from it. He gasped when he touched her soft skin and felt its unnatural coolness. Like death.

"Oh, my love, my beautiful goddess, why are you doing this?" he whispered as all of his emotions came bubbling to the surface. All of his repressed and long buried love rushed to overwhelm him. He still loved her. He loved her as much now as he had then. "Jaina, I can't have you back only to lose you like this."

He picked up her limp hand that lay by her side and above the white sheet that only enhanced her paleness. He took it into both of his and caressed it, feeling its softness, its calloused palm. He leaned over and placed a gentle kiss upon her finger tips.

"Please, Jaina, wake up. I can't—" Jag gasped back the tears that threatened. He had done all he could to keep her safe. Her squad was made up of some the best pilots in the Remnant. He made sure the shield on her fighter had been upgraded to the best offered for a TIE. They were along the same specks as those on his own Interceptor. He did all these things without her knowing, and he tried to justify his actions to himself as being everything but what they really were. He loved her and he couldn't let her go.

These past months with her hadn't just stirred his buried feelings he realized, but rather he realized the truth. He had fallen in love with her all over again. "Please, Jaina, I love you," he choked out with a sob. "I need you. You have become my hope."

Jaina slowly opened her eyes and Jag met the deep brandy depths. Swallowing and realizing there was no turning back after this he smiled and said, "You scared me, Sticks."

She weakly smiled at the use of her old call sign. "Jag—" her voice was rough from disuse and the bacta that had been used to heal her collapsed lung. "Did you mean what you just said?"

Jag grinned, nodded and leaned over to place gentle kiss on her chapped lips, "With all my heart, Goddess."

She smiled at him as he pulled back and whispered, "I haven't been called that since the war with the Vong."

"But you are a goddess, Jaina. You are the only goddess that ever ruled my heart and I can't go on without you." He kissed her fingers again.

Jaina gasped and reached over and gently caressed his cheek, "Jag, I've never stopped loving you. But I've made such a mess of everything. Now can you forgive me? What about Zekk? He loves me, Jag. He's my friend I can't hurt him—"

Jag stopped her words with a tender kiss then he pulled back and looked deeply into her eyes. "I forgive you, Jaina. That is all that matters. We can start anew. Forget the unpleasant past. Together we can build a future. And it is because of Zekk that I'm here." She gave him a puzzled look and Jag reached up to caress her face. "I will admit I'm not sure I could do what he is willing to if he loves you as much as he claims, but he has released you, Jaina. He knows how you really feel and he only wants you to be happy."

Jag took a deep breath and then said, "I have a dream of making my responsibility of Grand Admiral and Imperial head of state a lasting one. After this war is over the galaxy will need stability. I want to bring it. I know I can. I did it in the Remnant after I was appointed Grand Admiral. But I'll need to have a legitimate title. Pellaeon never wanted to be equated with Palpatine so he never took the title that was rightfully his. But I have proven that I'm not the old Emperor. I've proven that we aren't the Empire that should be feared."

"Jag, what are you saying?" she asked skeptically.

"I'm going to declare myself Emperor, Jaina. The Empire has been too long without one. And I feel that with you by my side together we can rule as the galaxy needs to be—fairly and concisely."

Not long after that he and Jaina were engaged. Ben Skywalker turned on his onetime Master and by killing Jacen brought peace to the galaxy. Jag and Jaina, in a huge wave of fanfare, were married on Bastion. In the same ceremony Jag declared that the Imperial Remnant was no more and that the allied planets that had become part of it would be known as the New Galactic Empire of which he was Emperor and Jaina, daughter of the last Alderaanian Princess, was Empress.

Not wanting to be associated with the Jedi and since Kyp and Kyle were actively training Force-sensitives who they discovered among the Imperial Navy, Jaina felt they needed a new name. Jag wasn't too sure about what his new wife was proposing, but Jaina had become a hero as had the other Jedi. However, he also knew many among the older Imperialists weren't comfortable with calling them Jedi. Therefore, they became known as the Imperial Jedi, but even that didn't sit well with Jaina. She wasn't a Jedi any longer which prompted her to come up with the title Imperial Knight for the members of the new Force using order. The directive for the Knights was simple, to protect the Royal Family and the Empire.

Jaina had finally stopped crying and Zander lay against her shoulder satisfied as she rubbed his back. Jag held and watched his wife as the memories played out. "I love you, My Empress, and always will."

Jaina looked up at him and smiled. He used his thumb of his free hand to wipe the drying tears from her cheeks. She swallowed and whispered, "And I love you, My Emperor." She then leaned up and captured his lips as he leaned into her and the kiss they shared spoke of nothing but promise of a happy and love filled future.

FIN

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I'm planning to do write one more book to this which will be about Jacen...So stay tuned for that...

However, I'm not sure that it will be until December. I'm participating in the National Novel Writing Month contest and November will be dedicated to that.
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All reviews are welcome...

Thanks for reading...